THE CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT, JULY 1, 1988
CABBAGES AND
KINGS
on
SPOTTED MONEY, Asked to write an essay dogs, a schoolboy began: "My dog. is a white one, covered with black spots, varying in size from a shilling to eighteen-pence."
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BEATEN AT LAST
Two Irishman were gazing in admiration at Westminster Cathe- drat.
"Sure, Moike," said Pat, "it bates the divil."
"Faith, and that was the intin- tion," replied Michael.
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INNUENDO
According to a recent report, a woman at Tottenham Police Court said: "All I ask is that my husband be deported from my house under the General Rogues Act."
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FROM A SCHOOLBOY'S ESSAY "The poet Collin's was born in 1721 and attended Oxford Uni- versity, but as, he was only a very little bit insane, he had to make- an untimely exit from that uni- versity."
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JUDY GRADY
There was a newspaper dis- cussion on, What is a lady? One correspondent wrote:
“A lady is a woman who at all. times and in all places remem- bers that she is a woman and not a lady."
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SECOND DIFFERENCE
"The difference between the cow and the milkman," sneered the disgruntled customer, "is that the cow gives milk.”
"Aye, so," said the milkman, and-another-difference is that "the cow doesn't give credit.”
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ATTENTION, HONG KONG There was an Old Man of Hong
Kong
Who never
wrong;
did anything
He lay on his back with his
head in a sack="
That innocuous Old Man of
Hong Kong
#
Edward Lear.
TO-MORROW
The train was going through one of the longest
country, A litt Funnels in the
girl, who had
never been in a train before, couldn't understand what was happening. As they emerged into daylight, she suddenly burst out "Is it to-morrow now, mum- my
AMERICAN HUMOUR
Better a cold in the head than nothing at all
It is the cock that croweth but the hen that delivereth the goods,
The Mississippi is not, one of those sickly streams that are ways confined to their beds,,
AFTER THE BOAT-RACE- Mrs. Screaming said to her [Lady Cabatanleigh]: "I want you to drop into my place after.
dinner to meet the man who stroked one of the crews; I forget which or why."
"My dear," replied the Cabatan- leigh, "last year I stroked the Oxford- crew myself, and they all purred except bow and No. 4."
A cheerful group taken by the “Mall” photographer at Repulse Bay last week-end.
ASCENDENCY!
Grants
FQURUN:
You can "Bank” on GRANT'S Scotch Whisky
High
Standard of Quality never varier The popularity of GRANT'S In the Ascendant.
GRANT'S
IN THE
SCOTCH WHISKY
FROM BANFFSHIRE
OF SCOTLAND
Obtainable at all hotels and compradores,