THE CHINA MAIL, MAY 24, 1988.
WAS MY FACE RED!
DON'T think anyone would call whose symptoms and misery only
me shy
-not nowadays. But arise when they are in company; as a young student, I was shyer These people come from families, than anyone I've ever met.
where they have been very depen- dent on one or other parent. And as a rule they feel rather helpless when they are away from their
I rarely dared enter a shop to buy anything. For a time, even walking in the street was a terrific effort of will-power.
What can one do about shyness? Perhaps my experience may be of some help to the very many who write me.
But please. don't. miraculous short-cut!
expect
a
I'm sorry! There isn't one. It takes time and effort. You muat attack shyness from within and from without.
From within by understand- ing the state of mind that leads to it, so that you can remedy it.
families.
Incidentally, very shrewd American, becanie a millionaire, and a super-best-seller, only the other day, by writing out a few common- sensical tricks of this sort.
In a nutshell, the second step in curing shyness is this.
I remember a young man whose Cultivate the habit of "extrover- mother had smothered him with sion." unnecessary attentions. Attentions he couldn't possibly expect to get outside home.
And he was extremely shy with other people.
a
cultivate In other words, stronger interest in people and in things outside yourself.
rather
www
Others
HENRY HARRIS
-tells you to-day how you can 'conquer shyness. He was once very shy himself so he is able to bring his own experience as well as a psychologist's advice to this article.
Imagine to yourself that all these people are extremely shy and nervous. You've been told off to entertain and reassure them and put them at their ease.
You'll be surprised at the ease with which you'll carry off that situation.
3. Remember people's names, and
Become other-conscious Some shy people come from
than self-conscious. families where the father is strict in a rather stupid way. He gives Some are
born extroverted precise orders and tells every- they are natural mixers. one exactly what to do in every have extroversion thrust upon them use them to show you're remem- contingency of life.
by circumstances. But the shy béred.
person has got to acquire the extrovert habit:
The result is they never learn to do anything on their own initiative. The young man I have mentioned above was doubly unfortunate,
He also had a martinet of a best
From without by deliberately and consciously cultivating certain little social “tricks” they're father. really nothing but tricks gradually build up your confidence.
that
The principle is easy. And once you know how to, it is that you invent your own little tricks for becoming extrovert. The shy person is self-conscious. Which means that sometimes he is conscious of no one else but him- self.
At first, ita a nasty self- conscious trick.
•
But keep on, and one day it will come natural to you to think more of others.
You will awake to find that you are now only a little shy distressingly shy.
not
And people who have no shyness in them at all are an abomination to everyone but themselves.
Please don't mind if I seem to be chaffing at your shyness.
The net result was that unless social he had someone to coddle him with attentions, and someone else to order him about, he was a helpless sort of creature.
Now reverse that. Now this lad faced up to the fact And when you feel self- Let's start with The Attack from that the first step in his cure was conscious, concentrate on the pre- Within..
to become more independent. To sence of other people. On becom- and the stand on his own legs. Once he ing other-conscious.
found that out, it wasn't difficult to think out ways and means.
And gradually he lost his because a grin is a very attractive earth shyness.
It's the most difficult
most fundamental.
to
Whenever I manage get abroad, I enjoy visiting a very famous man, who is an authority on what happens inside the minds of shy people.
In his own experience, he finds that most shy people come from families that are amazingly alike.
So do those who blush, stammer, suffer stage-fright, or whose hands sweat when they are in company.
Believe me, it wasn't easy. It took him months years. You can't change over-night the character you've had for years.
*
*
**
The Attack from Without is just In short, those who suffer from a series of social tricks. But they what he calls a "Social Neurosis!" help considerably.
For instance:-
1. Make smiling a habit!
thing.
Not
I was. once shy myself, remem- ber.
Shy people are the salt of the if they know how to lose most of their shyness.
They are sensitive and sen- can be а source of
But because you've probably got the hobit of frowning or looking sitiveness
strength. grim without realising it.
J
re-
If you
concentrate on smiling They have it in them to acquire
charm. If only they for a while, at least you won't look a rare
member that the secret of true grim.
to find other people
2. Here's a cunning little trick charm is that may help! Imagine here charming and interesting. are some people, and you're shy to the point of speechlessness,
And not to be, thinking of the effect you're creating.
He Nearly Failed His Only Son Through
NIGHT STARVATION
THIS IS THE SECOND MISTAKE YOU HAVE MADE ON THE SE FREIGHT CHARGES TO CALCUTTA, WILLIAMS THE COMPANY'S LOSING. MONEY! YOU WILL HAVE TO PULL
YOURSELF TOGETHER.
WISH I DIDN'T ALWAYS FEELİ SO TIRED, I EVEN WAKE TIRED, AND IF I DON'T GET PROMOTION, I CAN'T SEND JACK TO COLLEGE
WHY DON'T YOU SEE A DOCTOR?
YOU SAY YOU FEEL LIMP. AND TIRED ALL DAY. HM!| TT'S OFTEN A SIGN OF. NIGHT STARVATION
THIS MEANS YOU ARE NOT] REPLACING USED-UP ENERGY DURING SLEEP, I ADVISE} YOU TO TAKE HORLICKS
| REGULARLY-LAST THING
AT NIGHT.
3 WEEKS LATER
OK, FATHER, LET ME MIX YOUR HORLICKS,
ALL RIGHT JACK, BUI.DON'T SPILL ANY
IT'S DOING ME FAR [TOO MUCH GOOD TO WASTE A DROP OF IT.
3 MONTHS LATER
THE DIRECTORS OF THE COMPANY HAVE DECIDED TO MAKE YOU HEAD OF THIS
DEPARTMENT, WILLIAMS. CONGRATULATIONS!
(THINKS) NOW I CAN SEND JACK TO COLLEGE, THANKS TO HORLICKS.
If you wake tired, if you suffer from nerves enervation and that dreadful feeling of exhaus tion GUARD AGAINST NIGHT STARVATION
Horlicks is best made In the special Horlicks mix- ́er. Obtainable at all good stores-80 cts, large size. and 40 cts. small size.
TAKE
HORLICKS
YOU SLEEP SOUNDLY, WAKE REFRESHED AND HAVE EXTRA ENERGY ALL DAY
THE CHINA MAIL, MAY 24, 1988.
CHINESE LUNGHAI
RELIEVE SITUATION
Japanese Claim To Lanfeng Repudiated
Troops Safely Out of Hsuchowfu
Battle Zone
Hankow, To-day.
The situation on the Lunghai Railway is quiet after the Chinese advances eastward from Lanfeng and Kweiteh, according to the Chinese military spokesman. The spokesman stated that the Chinese troops at Kaochen, Tsaohsien and Kweiteh converged on the Japanese troops north-east of Lanfeng from three directions, forcing the enemy to re- tire north to Hotseh. Chinese troops at Kweiteh launched an attack on Japanese troops appearing east of Kweiteh from Tsining, and after a severe engagement the Japanese troops withdrew to the south- west.
The spokesman declared
that tion of the Lung-Hai Line were all the Hsuchowfu Battle was a major raided by Japanese planes yester- battle but not a decisive one. day. Our Own Correspondent.
He added that the Chinese forces
KAIFENG THREAT had held up the Japanese drive for four months, having inflicted heavy
Hankow, To-day. losses in the northern and southern sections of the Tientsin-Pukow
The fighting on the North China Railway and also in south-west front centres on Kaifeng to the Hsuchow according to Shantung. They had been ordered west of on the night of May 19 to withdraw reports which state that the com- from the Hsuchowfu and Taier-mander of the Kaifeng garrison, chwang area to designated posi-General Shen Cheng, has received tions.
orders from Marshal Chiang Kai- With the Lunghai Railway cut shek to hold the town at all costs. west of Hsuchowfu, the loss of
Two Japanese columns are now
one