WEST CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUE
1937
CABBAGES AND KINGS
Unforgivable
"But, my dear-I haven't said: word!"
"No, but you've been listening
in a most aggravating
ner, and I won't stand it?"
I Sez
That's what I told her, I sez. go on and do it, I sez, but believe me, you'll be like a negg-out of the frying-pan and into the frier
Those New Flats!
Coloured Maid: "Please, ma'am, I've knocked the marble clock off the mantelpiece.",
Mistress: Has. it stopped ???) Coloured Maid: “No, maʼam; it's gone straight through to the basement
Another Lie About Aberdeen “Silver Collection," said the
notices.
"Do ye tak paper?" asked the Aberdonian
"Oh, certainly," he was told So he put in a piece of silver paper.
P. O. Joke
“Phone operators marry young- er than any other women civil servants. Numbers are, of course. engaged
Group photo taken after the wedding of Mr. Fernando Jose dos Remedios and Miss Olga Maria de Castro Basto at St. Teresa's Church last Saturday.
photo).
"Anything else you'd like be fore we give you chloroform?”
"Yes, doctor. Just give your bill while I'm under it.”
* *
*Handicapped
"Sh-sh!" said the husband, who thought he heard burglars moving about downstairs, this is going to be a battle of brains.”
"But, darling." quavered his wife, "oughta't you to have a weapon of some sort?”
* *
Solemn Thought All yes-men are no men.
* * *
Half a Crown
One of the things I'm still waiting for (writes a correspon- dent) is someone named Day to be included in the Honours List, so that I can do that one about turning Day into Knight.
*
** *
A Bit Too Thick
First Father: “Then you never smoke in the presence of your daughters?"
Second Father: "No; if I added my smoke to theirs we couldn't see each other,"
His Weak Spot “You will be charged with knock- ing the plaintiff down and robbing him of everything except his gold watch"
"Can't you leave the watch out of it, guvnor? It makes me look like a blinkin' amateur.
Gold Diggers Of 1937
"He's a nice boy, with fons of money, but he's res
Who reserved him?
Mother the
ing, Tommy?”
you swear-
Tommy: Yes, Mummy. I was just telling baby all the words he mustn't learn.”
Foolproof
A recently returned Carnegie Grant visitor says our South African telephone custom is bet- ter than the American practice of saying "Hello," when answering a call
We say, "Are you there?" Then, of course, if you are not there, there is no use in going on with the conversation,
A Russian musician, I hear, has been forbidden to land in South Africa That makes him one man "banned.
Many a lazy man's motto is: "Where indolence is bliss, folly
Rumming Johnnies
hammer to
f hurt your
have dear.
Kong
Philippines journalists who made the round trip to Hong
Manila
Young Husband (breathles "I got your phone message office and came at once.
happened?"
You're too
Young Wife Baby had his toes in his and he looked so pretty.”
Ambition
“My new boy friend's motor bike, Madam!”
"Well, that's very nice, Mary, but has he got any ambition?"
Coo, rather! He's after a side-
Stalls
These T
had come
cokee
first time on festivities. bbernecking,
-office, one of
a theatre. note and
was the inquiry.
me lady," said one yokel, "don't ee think be cause we cum from country that we be cattle. Oi want two cush- ioned seat
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