MUENCHINA MATRIGRIDAY SUPPLI
CABBAGES AND KINGS
Jaywalker
term applied to the unfortun- who guess which way the ver would turn and guessed
Pithy
*
That “everybody's re-armed ex- cept the Venus de Milo” fairly aptly describes the present state of Europe.
Not In His Line
Do you mean to say your clock was stolen, with Fido in the room. all the time:?”
"Yes, but, after all, the little darling is only a watchdog."
Day Dreaming
"'Arry's în 'orspital."
“Go on!”
"Yus; a case of misunderstand- ing."
mean?”
e frew is fag-end dahn manhole and stamped on it?"
Wrong Order
The bishop was staying with the local vicar, and the vicar had instructed his small son to take a jug of hot water to the bishop in the morning and, after knocking on the door, to say, "It's the boy with your water, my lord."
The small boy, over-anxious to please, ran up with the water, knocked on the door, and when asked who was there, called out- "It's the Lord with your water, my boy."
*
Incredible
"The last time I was ship- wrecked I lived for a week on a tin of corned beef"
"You didn't have much room to move about, did you?”
* *
Boastini
A lecturer says that the words "I think" are the most overwork- ed in the language Not only that, but very often they are a
ross exaggeration.
Much Too Fishy Seaside Landlady: "Going home so soon, Mrs. Smith ?"
yeay any longer.”
"Why,
is the matter ?”
"Well, every time I write to my husband for money, he sends it by return of post!”
* * *
Same Effect
Ikey "Father, may I have a penny for an ice-cream? I am so hot
Father: "Dot vould be a vaste of money, my boy. But I'll tell you a ghost story that vill make your blood run cold.”
Compensation
There's one comfort about this scheme for flying from London to New York in ten-hours, you can get back from New York to Lon- don in ten hours.
Only Ten
The average married ma doesn't have a great deal of trou ble in keeping the Ten Command- ments, but he does wish someone would convince his wife there are only
Whew!
Lady (to shop, manager). see from your advertisements you have just received one thousand new hats from Paris."
Manager That is so, madam.” Lady. "Good, I will try them
Spoilt His Fun:
Wife (to husband): "Don't be selfish, John. Let the child help you with his homework if he wants to"
Very Careless The milkman who delivered the wrong husband.
Beauty Hint
"Preserve your complexion by treating your face with oil on re- tiring," reads an advertisement Oily to bed and oily to rise
*
"What's the orchestra playing now?" asked the late comer after pushing his way through half row of seats.
"The Ninth Symphony.” "Well, well," said the spirited "I didn't think I was so late.
Everybody Happy "He entertains a pretty good- opinion of himself”
"He does? Well I don't know of anything more entertaining than that
*
Marvels Of Radium
"When I read about the remark able achievements of radium," writes 2 woman: novelist, makes me think ”
Isn't it wonderful what radium. can do?
Now Nursing His Foot The amateur gardener who ed a spade a
Home-Maid Joke
there
The fellow who said, there's smoke there's fire" had never seen our sitting-room when
come home from work în
The Optimist Boxer (to second). "Did I do any damage in the round?”
Fed-up Second: "No; but keep on swinging your anus about, he might catch
from the cold draught.”
Surgery Sally
I can't quite diagnose your case. I think it must be drink.”
"All right, doctor. back when you're sober."
* *
come
Home Chat. Wife: “I'm just off to buy you a birthday present, George.”
Husband: “Well, take this half- crown; it's all I can afford.”-
Silhouette
woman who is proud of her ocratic ancestors showed her maid the silhouette of an aunt of hers The girl had never anything of the kind before, gazed at the picture long and earn estly
"Lor, mum," she said at length, "I always thought you might have some rela like that You're that dark in the face yourself.
Speeding Up
A plumber in America has just turned boxer. Perhaps take quite so long now to com
Not: myste oxygen breathin photo).
This pictur
gade Display.
Mr. Donald Blu Handicap last Saturd
ner Mr-Dunbar,
Sirgure
at the Fire
Far Be It From Me!
taining a man “Were you
the kitchen "Well that
He:
being to
prod
Doesn't the
Tah, and doesn't the
com look stunned ?”
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