I WOULDN'T LOOK TWICE
FITAUGAR
WOULDN'T Icel
that hat
cause the wron
ing it and sh
aring
ear
AT
They were both, strictly you're wearing it, and you're both wearing it, because you've been told unfashionable hats. that if you don't wear it you'll look made to suit those wo
women," consequenth sights.
Whereas you both look sights cause you do wear it.
I've
ked twice at women-because of their hats
last thr
THE
me.
ATUQUA
I'd be cricking my neck all
I did, and ord
the individual
suit crick in the neck
same with your clothes, lady. Nine times out of ten I wouldn't
you in them
look:
WORLD GOES BY
By" ULYSSES
RING me fruit and bring me
Bwine,
bring me cricket bats to sign, Pay my bill in climates sunny, -Fit me out with pocket money,
But don't you dare to call me "pro," 'Cos I'm a gentleman, you know..
-
Bring me balls and bring me clubs, Pay my bill in local pubs,
Give me shirts and give me suits, Fit me out with riding boots, But don't you dare to call me "pro," 'Cos I'm a gentleman, you know.......
Boarding Houses
When I am in an boarding-house and come across the crockery marked with the name of another establishment 1 always suspect
over
My neck dress about three times a the rest I'm bored stiff.
What's happened to your sense? Why don't you think yourselves instead {men?
I wouldn't look twice at you Pd heard those few fawn [youayruped over that am the party the other night
You were saying, “Oh, but I just fadore badges, too of course, I think it's just brilliant to build de of them."
* miserably
that you to pick
helpless,
from a chair, so feeble that you can't lift your coat from a hook?
This sort of thing y call
which is your
due
~ You can't help your face?
Nobody wants you to. It's your efforts at trying to help it that an so feeble The thing, you c around under that ridiculous hat isa't yours at all. It's mexatto look like Greta Garbo, or Anna May Haven't you leamed yet that the Wong, or your idea of what an "el only men you'll getäby dattery are fin" or interesting face should be bares, and fools?
The original statate wood. After a timerit vanished t
Yon-silly 238. And you away, and the ecclesiastical au- thorities were besieged by women self a woman who complained that they could no the husband- longer practise catching formulas.
wooden statue Another
Was SOOD erected, but it away.
was
Then one made of solid granite replaced it.
The stone nose has been renew-
It's Slay or Nordic, or provoca tive, or enigmatic, or fast, or fully ingenuous.
You bore me stiff with your of ten it would make a cat hugh.
ed several times, but at the mo- phoney "mystery" line. ment the nose is once more non- existent.
I wouldn't look twice at you if, when I'd laked on
you began this "Ah, but ther and you never know
And it's awful mine times-out
Ten times out of ten it makes me look the other way.
You have
The authorities are now experi- sort of menting with a nose made out of I'm a woman carborundum-one of the hardest what's going on in a woman's mind, standing, the kind of woman that substances known.
that there's been devil's work afoot. Our Office
I find it difficult to accept the
possibility that they have been Blonde Again legitimately bought.
do you??
Maybe not. about it?
men tell their troubles to the kind of woman who uses this line to lure into making her their next What's surprising men
trouble.
in I'll tell you what's going on mine, though when you start in on this enigmatic Five staf
You think we fall for it? Maybe some of us do,
But, for myself.
It makes me feel that the pro- "What I can't understand is all prietor is a shifty cove who goes this talk about Glamour. Have 1
I'm thinking that I want first-to-
For one thing I don't wa to about sneaking other people's pro- got it, or haven't I? Fm sure I
your next trouble; for another Ta perty. A friend of mine had a don't know. But if I worried about put you over my knee and give you
to myself. startling experience at a boarding it I wouldn't be worth buying six with a hairbrush, and secondly rather keep my last
chocolates for, at least that's my to shut the first convenient door on opinion."
house the other day.
The cup from which he was drinking was marked with the name of an hotel in Chile!
Chryche
you.
"And the lectures I have to put woman should never look ridi- up with from his sister, the criticising one.
culous!
She's gone glamorous, and it's-Maybe Fil-look at you eye-brows, lipstick, and dieting won't look aɔsacon from morning to night. Why don't
I do this Why don't I do that
but I Nine out
Hf you're merely » Lobicyclesin tight corduroy dom you co
or rumming.
or are real women,
A demure young lady named I'd be ever so much more attrac(smoking like angd
Psyche Was once heard to mutter
chryche!"
"Oh
As when riding her byche She ran over a tyche And fell on a rail that was spyche.
Nose
Saint Guimet has lost his nose. He is the patron saint of Breton girls, and stands outside a church near Brest.
If you are a spinster in that part. of the world and if you want husband, all you have to
visit, the effigy - “of prick ins nos
say
tive, my dear. And if ever I start acaroni, "or 80 to reply, she ents me short and she's off again. Honestly. I ask you.
"Well, last night, I did some thing. Listen, darling, I said, have you ever tried talking to yourself? No, she said, how funny! Well, I said, if you ever do, you won't be able to get a word in edgeways.
Oo, what a look I got!"
Laundry Bill
Here is a laundry bill made out by a Japanese who did business.
mts in Kobe:
cand your wo
dignity as to let your neck peel and your arm go raw with sun-born.
you are, how sel- off, how few of you how many of you fakes or merely
stupid.
And the joke is, we're the poor fools!
THE GLOUCESTER HOTEL
DINNER DANCE O
NIGHT 13 *RT SUNDAY)
backs no
ANDRE & HIS ENSEMKET: