15,000 WIVES CONFESS
Ir the past twelve months Alice Miles spoke personally to 3,000 wives. Over 15,000 mismated women wrote per- sonal letters to her revealing their intimate problems. Here is her list of the ten most annoying failings of hus bands and their cures.
Listen.
What would you think is the real cause of most unhappy marriages? Lying? Drinking? Cheating? You're wrong. It isn't the big, vital faults but the petty little failings.
1-TIED TO MAMMA'S. APRON
STRINGS.
A common specimen. He con- sults his mother about everything, to the complete distraction of his bride.
husbanderolved
end bicarbonate.
the infatuation. She invited the drinks this at night. It gids his
nd at their digestion, the poor dar did the trick
girl to spend a home
The_first
wife evening the
The girl saw the man
the
READS THE PAPER AT
BREAKFAST.
became
WHY I'M UNHAPPY!
brought her husband his bedrag glamoroas surroundings of home headline instead of her husband's and made a dash for her own boy face while eating her bacon and gied bedroom slippers.
eggs.
The man decided he was tired of
"He always likes to lounge friend.
One morning her husband open- around in his slippers," she purred. "He gets so tired toward evening." being on his best behaviour with ed his paper and discovered an immense hole tom right through After dinner she prepared a other girls.
the middle.
THE
WORLD GOES BY By “ULYSSES"
667 THEN OF
נ-
THERE are those The way I should explain it, of
trams on
who would course, is that the copper anode gets
as lighter and the kathode heavier. On alighting, but, the conductor has not reached
•
Here's what one wife did. She left a note on the kitchen table for pay him to see when he came home one
"Since you're them they feel too self-conscious to Film Notes evening. It read:
your hold up the tram while they re- always running home to
Film criticism often seems to me! mother, I've decided to run home to ceive change and a ticket, or else
they are afraid the conductor will to be rather milk-and-watery. But my mother.
now and again someone lets himself "You seem to enjoy consulting get into trouble."
critic Yes, that self-consciousness is
Here is an anonymous igo. your mother about everything, so you and she can live in the home large factor in crime. As Mr. Bill writing in To-day's Cinema." we've shared. It's not big enough Sikes said to Mr. Justice Fulwigg He is reporting on a film called for three of us"
in his impassioned speech from the "Picture Brides." dock:-
"Sex melodrama.
He woke up.
SNORING
:
2
Distasteful
6-CRITICISES WIFE'S MEALS
When she has roast beef he wants fish, and vice versa.
->
Here's how the husband who al- ways criticised his wife's dinners met his Waterloo..
She prepared a menu each even- ing, presented it to her husband and asked him to check off the courses he preferred for the next evening's dinner.
"
He got what he wanted, couldn't complain.
7-PULLING THE COVERS OFF
THE BED.
One wife found her love turning into something quite different be- cause of her husband's inconsider- ate habit of pulling off the bed. covers during the night.
One-night, after he was asleep, I was too sensitive 'r Honour, story of sex exploitation of feminin-she arose, put on her fur coat, and to stay be'ind a counter sellinity in Brazil jungle Theme slept in it
8-DROPS HIS CLOTHES ON
THE FLOOR
rubbishy goods to the customers wot thoroughly unwholesome in cita- In the morning the startled hus- Business is robbery tion of women pandering to male band looked at the befurred object More than anything else, snoring trusted me. has driven brides to thoughts of An' when a stockbroker give me a last, while treatment introduces next to him, let out a wild yelp. separation.
job I was too self-conscious to go succession of unpleasant incident From that time on he was mere
25 girl struggling in careful. One wife solved the problem this buyin' and sellin' stocks as I knew such way: I sewed a spool înto the top was no good. So I took on a quiet, grip of lecherous villain, sex and of his pyjamas," she said, "That decent job out o' the public eye, alcoholic orgy. forced him to roll over on his side crackin' safes." An' when I cracked "Some attempt at clean romance and in that position he didn't the bloke wot just give evidence and comedy relief, but general tone
jagen me it
was simply because unedifying in aggregation of calcn- snore."
Some day there'll be a special I was so self-conscious 'e might ave lated sex incident and atmosphere law to punish the husband who thought I was doin' wrong, findin' Undistinguished direction with por-litters up his room with his clothes Ime at the safe door."
trayal, settings and technique ad- and expects his wife to pick up "Poor fellow," said Judge Ful-equate to narrative needs. Un- each piece and hang it up care- One wife, whose husband stayed wigg. "I appreciate your desire to wholesome entertainment
which fully. out late and answered her inquiries withdraw sensitively from the should appeal to most with a non-committal shrug, passes world, and so will pander to your tastes.” this tip along.
3-STAYS OUT LATE AND
WON'T TELL WHERE.
On one of his "stay-out" nights she left the house, hired a taxi and waited in it across the street from her home.
•
uncultured
you So much for "picture Brides.”
self-consciousness by giving ten years away from the odious business of trade. Moreover, to! resene you from what appears to Barbs be a bad inferiority complex, I will When she saw her husband come order that you have twelve lashes
A new device that WarnsTM the home she left the cab twent which, I assure you, we only give driver he is doing something wrong minutes later and entered the
the elite."
apartment. He "Where were you??"
was
frantic.
She shrugged nonchalantly, said not a word and went to bed.
"
A Word From The Police In the morning she asked him for money. "Why?" he asked.
But until then, this clever wife's solution will do. She placed a barrel at the foot of the stairs and swept all the articles which her husband had carelessly dropped on the floor right into the barrel
When he looked for his clothes the next morning he found them there. He was cured.
is a highway that screeches; not. 9 ALWAYS GROUCHY IN THE as heretofore, a pedestrian.
MORNING
This wife settled her husban At Schenectady, NY, five wo- men have been attacked by a squir-chronic grouchiness sensibly.* Now that people are going away rel, which apparently hasn't be
She placed fresh flowers on the "Well," came her answer, "you for their holidays and leaving their come inured to the new hat modes. breakfast table, served his break
fast in attractive dishes and made don't expect me to stay out late houses empty, I thought you might without spending money, do you?" like this piece of advice from "The
A professor advises "Get a hob-erial pains to see that she then- The husband was worried and Leader":
self looked appealing. the by or die." For elderly spinsters puzzled about.her mysterious even- "And here is a word from
the advice would be, "Dye and get ing. Then he realised that she police--and an insurance company.
blinds a hubby." probably, went through the same Don't pull down your mental turmoil when he was out. advertise to any potential burglar Result: he never stays out with that the place is empty." A word out informing his wife where, or to the local police will do the job taking her along.
SHOWING OFF BEFORE
YOUNG GIRLS.
better."
Explanation
to
She also made him cut out his late suppers, working on the theory that a heavy stomach before bed- time makes for temper at break-
"Postal clerks are not to growl fast. at the public. Not even at the 10 DOESN'T GIVE HIS WIFE humorist who says "Presbyterian" when asked what denomination”
Philadelphia.
ple
we
You know the type. He's been A neat little bit of explanation snugly married fifteen or twenty from a text book on electricity-one art, years, but he wants to prove he's - “On passing 2 current the copper still a devil with the girls
ode gets lighter and the kathode One wife who suspected that one heavier. In other words, the of these ssionable girls was per anode gets
with her show-off kathode heavier.”
Sin
ghter and
"Tem-
Tem
irley.
Scientists to study early Their curiosity is understood wife who has such a tough waking her spouse.
HOUSE MONEY:
Even Dins uldn't budget household on the money some hus- bands give their wives:
One-wife decided that she would run her home like a boarding house. She presented her husband with a bill for household expenses each week. "If you don't pay you don't
eat
He paid.