THE CHINA MAIL, JUNE, 26, 1937.
The "Daily Mirror Psychologist to-day has HENRY HARRIS TELLS YOU something to say to women. You will find his hints invaluable if you have a husband, or even if you're only planning to get one, sometime, somehow.
They will help you to make the man crazy or to avoid doing so! Which would be pleasanter in the end
TH
HERE are 21,000 ways of mak- when he is obviously depressed, ex-
ing people cross.
hausted or clenching his teeth with frozen rage.
At any rate, so say the committee of scientists, who classified, indexed and cross-indexed the whole 21,000
Given more time and half a dozen filing cabinets, I don't doubt they'd have discovered more.
new
Coming to brass tacks, no wife,, who really wants to drive her hus- band crazy, should experience any real difficulty.
Trouble is too many
don't wives want hard enough. Hence thei failure.
Address him then as "But Wump sie darling” or some such ridiculous nickname saved for just that sort of occasion.
HOW TO DRIVE
A MAN MAD!
And why whisper? You didn't If you haven't, let him know that wrong anybody!
he is a pernickety, old fusspot and. Should he ask you to dine with should have stayed bachelor. his boss, why should you look your If you're a ̈good cook, serve your best? Unless you think you could meals unpunctually. have a ferocious flirtation.
If you're not so good, rocket up Side with the children against him
into caustic dyspepsia-creating re every time. That will teach them marks if he keeps the food wait-
ing more than a mitrute.
The moment he opens his mouth that's your signal to start. And to despise him. talk a great deal.
The first fundamental principle is tural. to demoralise him.
If you have occasion to walk towards shop
round to see who and ake him fol
you.
front, and
well in
Cultivate a gushy, olive-oily for company and reserve your n
querulous whine for home where it belongs. If
Either cross the road he has
him for incon siderately not waiting. Or cross Never settle a quarrel nurse it well behind and ask, what sort of a Undermine his confidence in him- until you have a good and sym- man lets his wife risk her life? self. As a husband. A father. A pathetic audience. You might even If you've got a tiddly-tidy mind, lover. A bread-winner. - A social call at his office and settle it there. expect him to be the same. mixer.
Puncture his pride. Deflate his no talk and no tricks, ask him hasn't ego, by God! Sabotage his self- he anything to say? respect.
Comparisons are odious-there- fore helpful. Especially in public.
Compare him with his more suc- cessful business competitors, his neighbours-his boss! "What a fine figure of a man. I'm sure he must have lovely children."
.
If he's tubby-short, don't conceal your admiration for tall he-men.
If he's lean-lanky, reveal your deep
THE
smiling contempt for the gawky H
skinnies. If he's handsome and physical, profess to despise the tailor-dummy mentality in men,
If they tell you he's got brains, why anyone knows that a real wo- man wants warm humanity and strong masculine emotions in
man!
re-
If
Should you hear derogatory marks about him, pass them on. you have to invent them, that saves trouble and time, of course,
But give them a twist of your own. Subtlety, above all things!
"Miss B said that you might be caviare for the few
WORLD GOES BY
By "ULYSSES'
"ERE are a few strange stories ed by the Prethinipashs estate,
from many parts of the world, sent by Reuter correspondents:
to
which the tigress belongs. One of the features of the ceremony was a dinner on a lavish scale. It is not known where the couple are to spend their honeymoon.
A 63-year-old woman of
If he trims his nails or spikes his hair when thinking if he stirs his coffee one hundred and twenty-five times be sure to imitate him--with a sly glance towards those friends of yours that he happens to dislike most.
If he hates the way you squeeze tooth-paste-tubes from the middle, curl your lashes in public places, scatter face powder over his hair brushes, don't endanger *your [mental health by trying to suppress
anything.
Monotony if you can keep it up — has been known to cause insanity.
One woman I know got excellent results by saying and doing the same things in the same way, at the same time for a long time.
To succeed, you need an iron will
or extreme stupidity.
principle.
BE SYSTEMATIC!
Second fundamental Neglect to opportunity of disturb- ing him when he seems-happy do- ing something →→ or nothing,
For you see after demoralisa- Novition, comes frustration.
A claim to be the heaviest man in” Burma has been put forward by her Mr. Teddy Gregory of Kado, Lower Burma, He weighs 271⁄2 stone. An Anglo-Burman, Mr. Gregory sub- Pazar, Yugo-Slavia, has given birth ~ You've probably got the idea. So mits his measurements to support to a healthy daughter. Marija Jan-I only need throw out a few his claim. They are:-Wrist 10 kovitch by name, she already has a random hints. ins; waist 63 ins; chest 58 ins; son aged 35 and a married daughter For instance, -keep handy list neck 18 ins; thigh 41 ins; calves of 18. Her husband is 58 years old. of his pet aversions. Maybe it's 22 ins. He is 5 feet 9 inches in
more trouble to be systematic. But height.
fit pays.
The telephone bell rang
in the Put a few tiny ashtrays in the and blow him to coffee shop of Ernie Meyer, situat-blazes for sheer inconsiderateness.
wrong places An egg of what is claimed to be ed in the same building as one of "Typical of the man she must be more than a few. Not of record size for a first-season the cinemas of Decorsh, Towansh anywhere!"
to drop his very nice-talking like that!"
pullet has been laid by a hen at "What's playing to-night?” a voice "Mrs. C says her husband thinks Ladysmith, Orange
Twiddle feverishly round the Free State. asked. Ernie looked up the title of radio-dial, when he's trying to read you ought to stick to China tea, if After being "off colour" for two the film and replied "Mind your own his paper. you can't hold your liquor, Isn't days, the pullet, a White Leghorn, Business." "Well, if that's the way Get a sudden, yen for musical suddenly laid an egg weighing 5 you feel about It, okay," replied comedy or travel-talks when racing
It is 3-5/16 inches long the voice furiously, and the receiver news is about due. and 2-3/16 inches wide and has was banged down. only one yoke. Natives refuse to touch the egg, declaring that the bird has been bewitched.
she a cat?**
but if so,
“I wonder why Mrs. F. looked so disgusted when you did your best to be nice. She needn't have shown it, anyway!":
Don't for a minute let him get the unhealthy impression that wo- mén could fall for him.
ounces. -.
All American Army airmen with. Third and last principle.· Even if false teeth have been ordered to you still cherish.........some small take them out before flying. This smoulder affection, never show
The Town Council of small is the sequel to warnings issued by him it "except in public. rural community near Montreal, Army medical authorities, stating. Then when he's just about to Or ordinary decent men take to consists of 12 members. The Mayor that the violent motions ~ of the have an internal fit, say “But, him as a pal. Unless, of course, and seven eldermen are now on the machine in flight are likely to shake Wumpsie, Darling.” they got something out of it! dole. The Mayor, it is stated, owns the pilot's false teeth down
If he has a few company tricks one of the best farms in the dis- throat and choke him.
or pet parlour jokes, be sure you trict, but had to give up farming announce,“ catalogue, explain, imitate to pursue his civic duties. and caricature them before he gets forced him on the relief list. started.
of his chief duties has been But if he merely tries to make urging of increased di conversation on his favourite topic -gardening, Liberal Conservatism, Ford cars or what-not-give him a
That
One
the
direct relief.
Isaak Danilovitch Soviet workman in
Fedotov,
his
factory near.
Kizel, who will shortly celebrate his 135th birthday, has been wor
Mother him a little if you think he dislikes it. Ruffle his hair.
Otherwise, if you must submit to his affection, do, so asa painful duty,
Scientists have discovered 21,000 for 116 years. At the age of eight ways of irritating a man. - he started work with his fathe Not trying their hardest, éither.
woman » who can't r
ten-word start before you ask in a About £150 was spent on celebra- clear plaintive voice: "Must we tions in Dibrugarh, Assam, when a charcoal burner, and he went have that all over. ain.
ceremoniously married working until he was 124 years old, The tiger was purchas-when he was given a State pension
Refer to him as
tigres
Except a tiger.
wea
new doban't
lose her bu
up de-