THE CHINA MAIL FRIDAY SUPPLEMENT, JUNE 18, 1937
SUCH MEN ARE (OR MAY DANGEROUS
VID started it.
OVI
Nearly two thousand years ago this Roman poet wrote the first Manual for Lovers.
Ever since-through the cen- turies-poets, cynics, even psy- chologists-usually in their love frustrated old age-have striven to out-Ovid Ovid.
row
In my study I have a long, high
of these Hunting Manuals. Down to the latest "Casanova's Vade-mecum."
Sometimes when I feel tired. and serious and out of focus 1 reach up for one. I am always sure of a laugh. In a minute I shall tell you why.
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First let me describe some of the choice tricks, quaint deceits, elaborate techniques of the right-up-to-date Don Juan- Casanova. Amusing, they are:
Edifying, too-if you look at them the right way.
"
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THE APPROACH CRUDE Crudest-and silliest, by far: Persuading a girl to exceed her
best party-average of drinks. In the hope that sometimes her cocktail-clouded judgment, will achieve what Love' can't.
-maybe: Crude, but honest- Loading her with gifts-in the Too often- hope of a return. alas for Don J.-the gold-dig- Sometimes, a pen- gers return.
For there are sioner for life. cash-minded women, too.
42
BE)
ters?"
A consummate-but a pretty obvious-liar.
The Confidence Trick. In two varieties:
(Number One.) The Big Bro- ther Act. Just a pal and no- thing more. Ever so sympathe- tic and understanding. Ear for all troubles. Shoulder to lean A patient pla- on-weep on. tonic friend until-
One day, maybe on the bound, she drops into deepest blue. Is emotionally defence-
Crude, but conventional: The technique. Come-up-and-see" "Come up and see my etchings, hear my rumba records, criticise
less. interior decoration, gloat my over my stamp collection." But do come up. For Art's sake!
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THE APPROACH SIMPLE The Sweep-her-off-her-feet technique:
Soulful, romantic, passionate "You're wonder- declarations. ful, marvellous, thrilling, you--"
Don. J. acts- as if he were be- ing swept off his feet. Hopes to hypnotise her off hers. “Al- ready in the eyes of God, we are man and wife! What else mat-
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re-
(Number Two.) The "old- enough-to-be-your-father" act
"Tut, tut, my dear. Surely you're not afraid to dine
Why and theatre with me.
I'm old enough to be your father." Also, his wife 'misun- derstands him badly. That's why he refuses to leave her.
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The Approach Sophisticated Aim is to persuade her she is very sophisticated. That's why she appreciates his appreciation, of course.
"After all"-he begins always like that"after all, life is short. You know that as well as I do. Let's grab the moment before it fleets. Why keep put- ting off happiness? You wouldn't want to die wondering. Now, would you?”
Second line of reserve. "After all, Victoria is dead, and all her conventions. You and I are free people-free to lead own lives. Are we not?" After all!
our
Don. J. may have read a psy- chology book (O! Psychology, what crimes are committed in thy name!).
"If you don't mind my telling you--I don't quite know what makes me do so-but you're suf- fering from inhibitions. And bad. If you're not careful you'll go scatty or something. Don't you think we ought to do some- thing about it?"
The Approach Subtle
In subtler mood. Don; J.'s aim is to challenge her vanity, pique her curiosity, subtly lead her in- to making the first move; mra
There is the way of "Advance and Retreat."
Step One: "I'm crazy about you. I know you don't care. Tell the frank truth, I don't think I ought to see you. I "know if I do I shall have to make love to you. Just can't help myself."
Flattered, she is won.
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Step Two: All quiet for a day .or so. Then a sudden impetu- ous advance followed by a thou- sand apologies. ("My God, I'd give my right hand if this hadn't "happened!")
On his rebound of self-abase- ment she warms to him, Con- soles and reassures him.
This he repeats at tactical in- tervals. Each impetuosity a little daringer, subsequent self- abasement a little profounder. Until one day having slowly acquired the habit of warming to his rebounds she takes him by the hand and tries to per- suade him not so difficult that he needed her all the time.
Or this other way. Of “studied but courteous neglect."*
First time he meets her, Don. J. makes a point of wounding her vanity-some way other. That fixes his image in her mind.
or
an-
Somehow he contrives to get invited wherever she goes.
Somehow she gets the impres- sion that he dislikes her.
Remembers to buy carnations she prefera -knowing that roses. She wants to go to a con- cert: absentmindedly, he takes her to the movies.
consummate
A
tight-rope walker-Don J.-never too rude, never too courteous.
One day, she spits “I hate you." Don J. stands easy. Now it is her túrn to chase, instead of being chased. ..・・
That is the theory, anyway.
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Do these tactics ever work? Why, of course they do! If the woman wants them to..
Woman still does most of the choosing. The average woman
Don't Say You
Were Not Warned,
Says HENRY HARRIS
is so constituted-impressions from early life, I suppose that she always falls for the same. type of man.
a certain It may be looks, colouring, height, physique, in- telligence, a good-tempered re- liability, a certain carefree play- boyish nature or whatnot.
The wise and honest lover avoids the woman to whom he does not primarily appeal. He may be intelligent, gay and fascinating, but if red hair is her type, a sandy milkman has a better chance, any day. The odds are, they're unsuited any-
way.
He seeks a woman to whom his appeal is likely to endure— whose appeal to him is not mo- mentary, superficial, desire- inspired rather than love-inspir- ed.
He challenges her curiosity so that she will want to know, him better.
Truth is, the Don Juan is a time-waster, an escapist.
Study his psychology and you find that he is always was—a poor lover. Perhaps because he likes himself so much. ~
That is why he flits from one: to another. He dare not stay long enough to be found out.
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There is an Art of Love, though. But that begins with marriage. And can only be learnt in marriage.
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