THE CHINA MAIL, MAY 17, 1987.
THE-
Britain's
99
WORLD "N.Q.C.
GOES BY Warships
I
Letters from naval
officers and is sad to learn that Miss Greta other readers, protesting against
thinks she leads a dog's life, writes class cruisers, continue to reach Showman in the "Daily Herald." me, writes Hector Bywater. In every At least, that is what she is report-casé surprise is expressed that the ed to have said in an interview, in Admiralty should have approved a French newspaper. A Certain the design of ships inferior at all Party to take you behind the points to the least powerful cruisers scenes of news-gathering for a of foreign navies, moment announces that he crib- They are already coming to be bed it from the French newspaper: known as the “N.Q.C.”-Not Quite and I cribbed it from him. Ye shall | Cruiser-class, know the truth.
It is officially stated that the Dido There will be hardly a dry smile class will displace only 5,300 tons. among Miss Garbos innumerable It is understood that the speed will admirers when I repeat to them be 321⁄2 knots at most and the main what she considers is "the greatest armament six 6in guns. tragedy a human being can be call- ed upon to bear." It is "to be an artist and to see age approaching.”
Now, I
Foreign Types
The smallest foreign cruisers beg leave to disagree. building for any major naval Power Miss Garbo's chief tragedy, to my:fare the French La Gallissoniere mind, is that she has never been¡class, of 7,600 tons, with a battery handled by a properly imaginative of nine 6în guns. director. She.. and the Marx Italy has launched two cruisers. Brothers should be starred equally of 7,874 tons, with as speed of 35 in the same film. I am serious knots and 10 Gin guns. Germany about that. Can you think of a has five ships of 6,000 tons, with greater attraction, a smashier hit? nine 6in guns, and is building three Do you not see that she and the 10,000-ton vessels with eight Marx Brothers are essentially the nine Sin guns. The new Japanese same type of artist remote, cruisers are of 8,500 tons, mounting
no fewer than 15 6.1in guns.
spirituel?
Anyhow I have written the words of her first entrance in this dream film of mine. Groucho and Harpo Marx are on the stage.
Groucho:
beautiful?”
or
Under the 1936 London Treaty England, together with the United States and France, has agreed to restrict future cruisers to
"What's your name, [8,000 tons, and five vessels of this
"Oh, they call me Garbo.” Harpo: "Well, Gar, you've got a funny name."
"It is no-0-0-0-t Gar. My nairm is Garbo."
Groucho: "I heard you the first time, sister. You said "they call me Gar, bo, ”
“No-0-0, 10-0-0; 'not Gar, bo; Garbo."
size are about to be ordered. They are expected to mount nine 6in guns. Since the seven small and feeble Dido cruisers, although or- dered, have not yet been started, it would be quite practicable to rede- sign them as 8,000-ton ships.
Cost Of Bigger Ships
The extra cost of enlarging them is estimated at £400,000 per ship. Harpo: "There seems to be an Thus, for an additional expenditure echo around here.”
of £2,800,000 the Navy would get Groucho: “Yeah, I've heard she's seven really powerful fighting echotistical.”
ships. If the Dido class is built as Then Miss Garbo dreamily swipes originally designed, over £9,000,000 each over the head "say, beauti-will be spent on seven ships which ful, you hurt our ceilings!" with could not fight any foreign cruiser a baseball bat. When will someone of modern type on equal terms. make my magnificent dream come true?
"
use.
Several naval officers point out that in time of war our commerce is likely to be raided by big, heavi- |ly-armed enemy cruisers, Ás convoy One is politely interested to learn guarda, therefore, the Dido and her six sisters would be of doubtful that the answer to a large part of a woman's Coronation Year pro-
They would be liable to be blems consists of “a quilted clo-destroyed out of hand and we que suit, short, fitted at the waist, should risk repetitions, on a larger with just a suspicion of a kick-pleat scale, of the disaster which twice at the back of the little basque.”
befell the Scandinavian convoy in the last war: These suits, with their kick-pleats, It is also emphasised that the are obviously designed for wear în crowds where a lot of merry rough- and men, who, as one correspondent Dido will carry about 470 officers
stuff and horseplay goes on. That is
remarks, will have hardly a dog's one's impression. One may be
Kem chance in action with one of the big wrong, - as one often is. But one foreign cruisers they are likely to does not think so. It may be sur-meet. War experience proves that prising that sug
such protective mea kill and heroism avail little against sures as kick-pleats should neces- sary, but surely one should take advantage of them One may still preserve one's masque Though kicked in the back of one's
basque
By a boot:
One will never feel the shoque Through one's cleverly
que
Short suit.
superior armament. way
Time presses, and unless the Dido design is revised forthwith the committed to the country will be building of these inferior ships. As Explained in a previous article, a precedent for such action was est- jablished in 1988;; when the Sout- hampton clase, first designed for |7,000 tons and eight Bin guns, wøre altered before laying down to ships föf 9,000 tons with 12 6in guns.
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