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THE CHINA MAIL, TUESDAY, AUGUST 4,-1935
HOW DO YOU WALK?
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August 4, 1936
1
FAMILY OLYMPIAD
BEHIND THE BIG
DRUM
TRUTH
ABOUT
ABOUT THE U.S. ELECTION
There is a family touch about ONE OF THE GREATEST POLITICAL
SATIRES OF THE AGE
tear
the Australian Olympic which recently arrived in Berlin. Of 17 'possible variations, the Police-Inspector G. G. Fergus- American Medical Association zon is to coach the rowing eight, magazine Hygeia reported, 16 (consisting entirely of policemen. were amusing to onlookers.
American
(By Negley Farson)
many
A favourite
occur
His wife has come over as chaper- THE curtain has risen on the to use motor cars and other presidential means of transportation to get jone to the women members of the The tabooed 16 were:
the team. Their son TON'S in the election campaign, and the rest into contact with the constitu- Waddle," in which "The
of the world now holds the ency. walk is taken with the toes turned eight.
Of course, this is rank The selection of the team caused stalls for one of the greatest Tout
"The Jumping Jack" a hop, skipla debate in the House of Repre-political satires of our age. Its amateurism. and jump caused by overworkedjsentatives before the athletes left irony is the eleventh-bour effort negro song in the United States. knee muscles.
Hotly criticising the selectors' of the Republican Party to con- for instance, is "The only easy member devince the American farmers money that comes my way is "The Shoulder Sling," iz which omissions, a Labour
that the Government, and, factory workers that the two big dollars on election day!" jone foot turns out and twists the manded
the British national which contributed some of the Republicans will give them the Unlike August 1936 August 19141 body.
"The Hip Switch," found in perfunds, be represented on the com- same things that Roosevelt has election, which may be called an American given them, yet without saying at any moment, Twenty-two years have passed
words. presidential election can jsince the great catastrophe, sons who have learned to prevent mittee.
Members of other parties joined as much in so
this- act you will see only once in every four years which had been preparing for their toes from turning out with-
Governor Landon and Colonel (and Retribution has to wait nearly fifty years, broke upon out correcting the accompanying in the criticism. The Minister of In
Defence, however, disclaimed, for the world. We have travelled a hip motion.
"The Caress"
the Government, any intention of Knox doing one of the greatest next election day); therefore. sorry road since then.
contortion acts off the legiti-we have permanent professional "The Caress", in which the walk intervening in sporting affairs. victory
And if their act politicians continually working mate stage. most complete
doesn't go over, the Republicans in our country, sneaking in gained in arms has left the is taken, hesitatingly, usually in victors more anxious, more lowing-heeled shoes.
know they haven't a dog's votes by one means or another. the so that by the time the election alarmed. and perhaps in great- "The Mince," in which the toe
A novel which was published chance of getting into er danger. than they were becomes down first instead of the
recently under the title "Cathedral White. House before 1940. comes along each Party bas fore. The result of all their heel.
The Republican campaign millions of votes that have sacrifices and of their absolute "The Bounce" which raises the Close" has as its authoress Susan
Goodyear. This pseudonym veils zong, one of the comic bits of already been pledged in receipt triumph has left them a prey to walker high on his toes with each the identity of Mrs. Matthews, the American election ballyhoo, is for the privileges which even
It is our minor Three Long Years."
politicians regathering fears. The war to step.
wife of the Dean of St. Paul's.
Mrs. Matthews paints the life of sung to the tune of "The Three bestow.
"War-chest" Donations the cathedral clergy in a some-Blind Mice," and is a lament of happened ander
(Democrat) Tammany Hall what different style from that of what has Trollope and Mr. Hugh Walpole don't get in they will have to and the Vare Machine (Repub Roosevelt. If the Republicans in New York City, for example,
Philadelphia,
The ever
end war which devastated the "The Pound," in which the manhood of Europe has only walker whacks his heels for em-
uncom-phasis. brought us all to an fortable conviction that some-: "The Heel" common even in nice thing even more hideous may people. Same as the pound with- be in store.
jout the accent. Years of disarmament have "The Rocking Chair," which ended. The unhappy League of rocks the walker back and forth Nations, deserted by her Unit-with each step. ed States progenitor, spurned "The Peer," in which the head by Germany and Japan and de-precedes the body. rided by Fascist Italy, strug-
to
The "Kangaroo"
*
"CATHEDRAL CLOSE”
She dedicates the book thus: -
dared to speak- Mrs. Matthews's Close presum- ably is that of Exeter Cathedral where Dr. Matthews was Dean from 1932 to 1934.
Your Daily Smile!
The Heckler Is Heckled A candidate addressing his con- was surprised by stituency
a voice which, calling from the back of the
сап
are
To those who lived in My change that refrain to "Four lican) in Close, though of them I have not Long Years"-four long years almost impregnable because of in the wilderness, during which their ability to shower such the professional
Ameri- Republican gifts. Very wealthy enviously while the other Party their Party's political war- politicians will have to watch cans give huge donations to
shares the rich spoils of office chest." And the Republicans and they are rich in the claim that Roosevelt's ability to gles vainly against primordial "The Elevated Shoulder," just forces; and
U.S.A. To avoid that contin-give employment to people in a thick cloak of what it says. velvet humbug is cast over the
the Republicans now his social service and recon- gency "The Kangaroo," with the upper
schemes seem ready to promise almost struction
and his whole scene by the Governments part of the body thrown forward,
anything.
bonuses paid out and leaders of nearly every utting the walker always in posi-
to the No Limit
farmers, coming as they did country.
tion for a spanking. Fortunately
still everyone
"The Settle," resorted to by the
Like any contest-all-in last time just before the Con- feels poor, and Germany has tall person who would rather not hail, said: "Well, I don't care what wrestling, for instance-angressional elections in 1934, not yet finished re-arming.
election you say, I wouldn't vote for you if American be conspicuous about it.
becomes are the greatest vote-buying It is curious to look back
"The Roller Skate," in which the you were the angel Gabriel."
twice as interesting if you know racket that has been invented across twenty-two tragic years arms are held close to the sides angel Gabriel, you wouldn't be points of the game.
Came the reply: "If I were the
some of the fine or bloodier by man. the thrilling emotions of and steps are short and mincing.my constituency."
In the It was for reasons like this, that American those July and August day's in
first place there is no limit be-very likely, "The Dead Man's Walk" in 1914. War presented itself to which the upper part of the body,
yond which a candidate may women have taken so little in- the nations and to millions of
Professor: "Do the quick thinkers not go, except where curbed by terest in American politics up men as some tremendous, terri- including the arms, is lifeless, and
become leaders?”
his own sense of caution, to get to these elections where Roose- ble, yet at the same time fasthe feet shuffle along blindly.
velt has been involved. It was Freshman: "Well, be whohes the votes. All sorts of persons-not just cinating and enobling new ex-
tates is bossed."
In England, I believe, a Para dirty game, and only the men aflicted with
Unlike perience. There was in those Politiciansare:
liamentary candidate is limited knew how to play it. days a mood to suffer and dare, these amusing gaits, the magazine With what alacrity the demo- said. The only proper way to take cracies of all countries obeyed a walk is to keep the shoulders and "Sure, they're just in from the few pence to each voter in an an American candidate for the signal to spring to arms! pelvic girdle in line and hold the country." With what noble self-denial head back slightly. their men and women threw themselves, and all their be longings, into their national cause. A fever of excitement laid hold of the brains of man- kind, and the blare of martial! music and the cheers of multi- tudes continued till they were drowned by the cannonade.
LORD MAYOR OF LONDON
Jubilee Visit To Canada
In many ways conditions are The Lord Mayor of London, Sir very similar to-day. German Perey Vincent, will leave South- and Italian youth have being ampton in the Empress of Britain brought up in a militaristic on August 8 to attend the Vancou- world, France is being forced to ver jubilee eelebrations. do the same on a smaller scale, During his stay in Canada be fear is the keynote of the minor will visit the following places: States, despite numerous pacts that are, speaking on paper, guarding their frontiers against their more ambitious neighbours, and, above all, Great Britain is now realising that world peace was by no means bought by 1914-1918.
Italy's campaign in East Africa, its natural sequel, in Palestine, the internal trouble. in China and the Spanish civil war have all, so to speak,
Auz. 13.-Quebec.
14-Montreal.
· 18-VancoLIVET. 21-Vktoria, B.C. - 22----Vancouver. 23.---Field, B.C. 23-Lake Louise, Albert. 24-Banff, Alberta. 24 Calgary, Alberta. 28-Toronto. 30,-—-Niagara. Sept. 1-London, Sat.
3. Montreal. 3~~Qnebec
(pre-war years."
NEW RADIO LEAGUE
occurred in the course of Sir Percy Vincent is the most Itwelve. months.. Whale the widely travelled Lord Mayor since
Olympic Games are in progress in Berlin there are major pro- blems for statesmen to ponder lover instead of furthering the followship of nations at the
The Wireless League, the Radio! Olympiad. The Spanish erup- tion is now commanding the Association, and the Listeners' front page of every paper in Association are to merge into the the world, but how long will Listeners League, with Sir Pa
it be before there is a new trick Hannon, M. P., as chairman. European crisis-the Danzig
dispute has not yet been satis- factorily concluded and Italy's
MAGISTRATE HANGED
[conquest has yet to be recog-
nised by Great Britain and Mr. George Shires, a 73-year- France before there can be old Derby magistrate, former Se- complete accord in that direc-cretary of the Derby Temperance Society, was found hanged at his The Great War served its home at Breadsall last month. purpose in that it has kept! Europe out of another such
tion
Phone:
strife for 22 years, but how 1914, despite the many impres- much longer is the question- sive war memorials that are to Europe to-day is a greater be seen in all the leading capi- arred camp than she was initals.
T
True
*
Fresh From the Country "Are these eggs fresh?"
"Yeh, but what country?”.
Palizes
in his campaign expenses to alher English sister, the wife of urban district; and only slight-office has never thought, up to
(Continued on Page 6). ly more where it is necessary
“BELIEVE IT OR NOT" by Robert L. Ripley
REPRESENTED INAČE
THE
TEMPLE
OF 72 DOORS
COLISEUM AURIESVILLE,NY,
72 DOORS REPRESENT THE 72 DISCIPLES
1ZTIERS OF CIRCULAR SEATS REPRESENT THE 12 APOSTLES
DA
ARKANSAS
TEX
TESTATE OF ARKANSAS
IS NORTH OF EVERY STATE:
"THAT BORDER
AND THE TRIPLE ROOF RECALLS THE RINDAMENTAL. MYSTERY OF TEZ FAITH-THE HOLY TRINITY
SITS DOWN TO
The
SITTING
HORSE