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THE CHINA BAIL, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1934"

KLICKUP

Here is a great idea!

As Illustrated. Held

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HERE, THERE

and

EVERYWHERE

| AMERICA TWITS THE LEAGUE

Recent events in Europe have not | made Americans more friendly to wards the League of Nations.

It is an ever-recurring theme for the humorous poets;-

MR. WELLS EXPLAINS

HIMSELF

REVEALING STORY OF

CONTACTS

SCIENCE AND SOCIALISM

(By Dr. Betty Morgan)

The latest jingle 'illustrates a proposal that the forty-five nations

London. The present volume ends with who have not paid their dues should be expelled.

AT the age of 66 Mr. Wells was his "collapse into literary journa

afflicted by a malaise fami-lism,” in 1893-4, to which "mental Fifty-five nations in the L of Nliar to creative artists. "I have emancipation and real prosperity," Forty-five got fired, and then a sense of crisis," he wrote. The he was guided by a "smashed kid-

ney, a ruptured pulmonary blood- of vessel, an unsuccessful marriage by and uncontrollable love affair." A he subsequent volume, bringing the detale up to the present day, will ba

published very shortly.

there were ten

world was too much with him. Another refers to a suggestion

He resented "this feeling that the new League Palace should being intolerably hampered be sold to Mr. Henry Ford for irrelevant necessities, and

was conscious of a "powerful This elegant palace" of the L.

aire for disentanglement.". of N.

The mood passed, but it bore In a book packed with interest, Was built by pesetas, pounds fruit a year or so later in the and bristling with quotable paa-

museum:

and yen For war, though a costly, madį

caprice.

Is not so expensive as good

Peace:

So offer up your gold; This palace must be sold.

**

SPEED SHAVER

ness,

"Experiment in Autobiography" sages, the accounts of his extreme |(Gollancz-and ÷ Cresset Press, 10s. misery as a draper's apprentice, 6d.), published' to-day, a book his early student life in London, old rich with experience; ́humour, and his first contacts with Soela- |¡deas, and ‚English prose that is aliam are written with great vivid-

delight to read.

Mr. Wells has his own theories

Entry To Socialism about autobiography. It should he came to Socialism via Plato's be the story of the contacts of a Republic and Henry George. AI- mind and a world, and the quality though he dutifully went to the Dr. D. C. Norris writes pouring of the mind and body concerned meetings of the Fabian Society scorn on the barber who took 669 should be laid bare to the reader while he was a student at Ken- strokes to shave Mr. H. K. Hales, in the introductory chapter, sington, he was increasingly con M.P. Even the average of 250 "The brain upon which my selous of the "exceptional unpro- strokes astonishes Dr. Norris, whe experiences have been written,"gressiveness of Socialist ideology." says in his letter:

declares Mr. Wella, "is not He writes: particularly good one. If there were brain shows, as there are cat and dog shows, 1 doubti whether it would get even A third-class prize. . . . I won't even compare it with such ce- rebra an the full and subtly simple brain of Einstein, the wary, quick, and flexible one of Lloyd George, the abundant and rich grey matter of. G. B. Shaw, Julian Huxley's store of know- ledge, or my own eldest son's fine and precise instrument. I have a brain good for out-

"For many years 1 have shaved myself in my bath. I wash my face, then rub the bath soap round

my chin and immediately fall to

with

Your Daily Smile!

Restaurant Ribaldry.

no

"Will the spaghetti I ordered be long?"

lines.

"There is a sort of journalis tic legend that I am a person of boundless enthusiasm and energy. Nothing could be fur ther from the reality. For all my desire to be interested, I have to confess that for most things and people I simply don't care a damn. Writing num bers of books and articles is evidence not of energy but of sedentary habits.

a safety razor. I use No doubt according to the shaving brush or cream. To-day I Hong Kong, Friday, November 9, 1934. fashion of the day the U.S.A. timed myself 44 strokes in 35 will not simply reduce its tariff seconds and the job was done. No and open its ports, though it is mirror is required. I know where A Newer Deal

my face, and I can feel the one country that could afford to find to do so, and that would benefit whether it is properly shaved. My One of the more or less unfore- by doing so. There will be nego razor was purchased eight years seen results of manhood suffrage tiations for reduction of the go, and I have never bought a is that a victory for any party tariff walls that have been built new blade. The original blade tends to be more overwhelming up in retaliation. This will be all has been used, I suppose, about than it would have been with a for the general good so long as 8,000 times and is as good as ever." more retricted franchise. Under some large principle is kept in the more selective system, what sight. We suggest that that prin- ever the principle of selection, ciple should be reciprocity so there was a larger proportion of devised as to work automatically. party men whose vote was con- Let the rates be classified as fred, trolled by old traditions, by famiglow, medium, and high. ly and social affinities, and by ad valorem ratios might, for various fundamental principles argument's sake, be taken as one that were not affected by the tacper cent., ten, twenty and thirty tical successes or failures of the for over. Then if any country My Problem day. An electorate of thirty undertook to work on a low tariff millions is likely to have an it should get the benefit of a low enormous majority of people who tariff for its own exports. The form-their views on a very cur-faame principle should be applied sory reading of the news of the all round, to England as well as day and the popularity of one, or to America. It would abolish at at most of a few leading men.ja blow all the ill-feeling, stirred The Democratic victory in the up by prohibitive rates; the in- United States is quite clearly-atricate bargaining over item personal triumph for President after item of compendious, sche- Roosevelt. For the next two dules, and the lobbying by special years he will have the chance of interests and cliques which is a Now You Know trying out the "New Deal," and clamant scandal and a danger to An infernal machine is the the future of his party will de démocratic government. Pre ahead who won't give you the road. the world at all. He acknowledgea

pend on the result.

"We never measure it, sir."

don't like girls who wear men's clothes.

I always think they look amiss. I don't know what to offer them, A entoks, a sweet, a 'drink, a kiss? Film Star's Tale of Three Cities

Londoncity. Newyorkcity, Publicity.

aident Roosevelt is a big enough

man to propose such a scheme, About Midnight

"If anyone wants a real mex- sure of the essential unfruitful- ness of the Socialist movement, if he wants to realise how like it was to the bag of a hopeful but

easily diverted collector' into which nothing worth while was ever put, let him turn hig mind for a moment to the ad- venture of flying. Let him com- pare the amount of hard work and detailed invention, the patient gathering and develop- ment of knowledge and exper ence, the generous mutual help and mental exchange, that have brought flying in a third of a century from a dream infinitely less hopeful than the original Socialist project to the world animating reality it is to-day

"Side by side with that vigor- ous contemporary thrust of the human mind, the. literature of. Socialism is a pitiful repetition of passing remarks and ineffec- tive promises. Is it any won- der that its name ceases to kindle and its phrases are pass- ing out of use?"

Wells' blames Karl Marx for the

"People with a real quantita- tive excess of energy and en- thusiasm become Mussolinis, Hitlers, Stalins, Gladstones, stagnation of Western Socialism, Beaverbrooks, Northcliffes, Na- declaring: poleons. It takes generations He fostered among his asso to clean up after them. But ciates a real jealousy of the what I shall leave behind me. creative imagination, Imagina- will not need cleaning up.". tive dullness masqueraded among It was sheer luck, Mr. Wells them as sound commod-sense, one suggests, that he ever got on in and making plans. Utopianism' that is, became at last one of his indebtedness to a "singularly the blackest bugbears in the facetious Destiny which seemed long list dictated by Marxist in- to delight in bowling, men over : in tolerance... Indeed, from first jorder. to roll me through, kicking, to last the influence of Mars has struggling, to some new and quite been an unqualified drag upon the progressive reorganisation of Human society. We should be far, nearer a sanely organised world system to-day ff Karl. Marx had never been born."

Since his Inauguration the arid powerful enough to put it. A man is an oiled as he feels. President has shown quite excep through. It is a great pity that tional ability to carry his sup the League has frittered away its Qualte

#

porters with him, but some of the prestige on questions it is unable There's no school tie-like an old unexpected opportunity," elements of the New Deal appear

to be so self-contradictory that it to handle, if only because its pro- school tie

is difficult to suppose that he was cedure is too slow. It could |:...

acting as a free agent He will solve the difficulty of variations Apt.

have at the least a much better in currency exchanges by fixing Footpad marries a stunning girl. opportunity now showing which a definite standard gold bar as to

line of action represented his own weight and fineness, and let the Short Story

price in the importing country be ideas. Take for example the cont trast between the mercantile estimated by its relation to the shipping subsidy and the tariff, current value of a gold bar. It The object of a tariff is to kill would not be necessary to any

actual banking for the price of

Man cur

Girl-pet, Love-altar,

Ring-debt,

or reduce trade, a shipping com the bar would vary as it has al-True To Type pany can only flourish on activo

Inauspicions. Start

He began life very inauspicious ly in a shabby little crockery shop in Bromley, Kent, in 1866. His mother was an ex-lády's maid and his father an ex-gardener: Both of them belonged more to the eighteenth century than the mines teenth, and were equally incap able of putting up a fighting against the suburban squalor of their surroundings and, the push

trade. Certainly the Democrats ways varied according to the The referee who whistles when and-thrust commercialism of the

used to be the "low-tariff open market.

things

party, and even the present ad The League staff could keep ministration has made a few rempartial statistics-a task for Discovery

rong.

ductions, but if the States want which it has already proved it A fish that barks has been to have a self-supporting mercan self exceptionally fitted. And covered; but we want to hear

feighteen-sixties.

of the course.

Wall's Sausages, made from a selected. variety of ingredients skilfully seasoned and blended by clever chefs in Wall's

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WALLS SAUSAGES

tile marine it will be needful to disputes of detail could be arbi- sort that bites. [

cut the rates down to a level at trated by the Bank of Inter-

which competitive imports will national Settlements, with an ap- In Hollywood

have a chance. At the present peal on interpretation to the, love, honour, and Oh, Boy!

level of freights a ship must be Hague Tribunal. We should like

able to get a cargo both ways if to see the President lay some

it is to pay working costs and a such scheme before the other

His mother thought that the dis-three sons would be to turn them best thing she could do with her

into drapers. She thought that to wear a black coat and tie be hind a counter was the best of all possible lots attainable by level. The two elder boys at our social] level." The two elder boys were duly launched on their drapering

dividend. Governments of the commercial only too well expressed by Mr. careers, but H. G. "because one of The cutting in half of the gold Powers, and thereby revive inter Donabey, the newly elected Sena- the intelligentala and was saved content of the dollar had the national commerce which is now tor for Ohio, when he said, pre-from a limited life behind a same object, to make commerce running at forty per cent of sumably amid great applause draper's counter by two broken possible by lowering the esport capacity, and set the League to 'I don't know anything about lega, my own and then my ers prices. It has largely failed work that would give it a useful money or international politics, father's...

of its purpose, because there is load to carry instead of leaving do you?" If he did but know it. The story of those early years, no more one-way trade than one it to be discarded as a fifth wheel there is only one way to get rid already familiar to readers of way transport on a paying basis in the coach. An agreement with of the relief votes which alone Geoffrey West's blography, is here The lower dollar has put a con England would be quite enough cost as much as a year's nation-told with unflagging zest and siderable number of American to justify a new world Confer al income to open the ports, humour. We follow the hero's cars on to the English roads,ence at which other Fowers And if there is any wish to re- career from Morley's Academy to showing that there is no unwill, would be invited to join, and cover the loans so profusely ad the Normal School of Science ingness to buy at a reasonable eventually all the nations would yanced since the War, to say no- South Kens price, but in the long run exports come in to the system at their thing of the War Debts them piety to adu can only be paid for by imports: own convenience

selves, there is no other prescri There is not enough money in the Unfortunately it appears that tion that is even remotely world to pay cash for the world's the attitude of the electors was vant

Im

ton, from scapticiam, from 31-

poverty to parative“Affinencers,ok aathor

Tännd pounds:

In Field Of Science

In the field of selence Mr. Wells stoutly defenda Darwin and Huxley against their detrac tors. "It is a pity that so mány of the younger scientific "work- era of to-day, Ignorant of the conditions of mental life in the early nineteenth century and standing for the most part on the gound won, cleared, and pre- find a perverse pleasure pared for them by these giants,

be littling them."

(Continued on Page 12)

Johnny:

keep clean, Yon

Do you know whất

"The son of a big

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