FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 1931.
THE FOREIGNER'S
ENGLISH.
Samples of Gallant Efforts.
A TRAVELLER'S "BAG."
private undertaking with ends of
making moneys, Besides that the hulels are overcharged with all kind of special taxes. Every guest expects to have himself received kindly by his landlord. How shalt the proprietor be with 'good humours while fearing for his existence all times?" After a visit to his establishment it was quite a relief to encounter the waiter in another who asked me how liked my "ekks bolt-tight or loose."
Chameleon Sunrise!
At a certain hotel in the Alps blankets and quilts used to get in rather a mess in wet weather from being snatched up. as improvised togas in which to run out on to the muddy balcony in response to the tootling of the local shepherd's horn that announces the imminent
G.B.S. LIKES THE SOVIET.
"Better Follow Her Example."
BANG AT BANKERS.
THE
Mr. Bernard Shaw arrived in London in mail week accompanied by Lord and Lady Astor and Lord Lothian, after a tour in Russia. Before Mr. Shaw set out he told a an insane reporter that it was is one of the wisest actions ho thing to do.. Now he believes it
has ever taken,
CHINA
MAIL.
ing the scene, while his assistant PRESS ADVERTISTING
was trying to induce Mr. Shaw to say a few words into the micro- phone.' "G.B.S." izfused at first, but when he was actually altting. in his cub he took the gauze-cover ed apparatus in als hand and said into it:
The is the first time that I
BEST.
Order of Foresters and Publicity.
have seen a thing like this. I un superior in value to any other Newspaper advertisements are;
pleased to have seen it. morning."
Cool
tion greatly amused Mr. Shaw, as All this scene outside the sta. Indeed everything else, from the obliging policeman who secured tabs for the party to the whole ed mass obstructing the trade crowd who stood in a close-spack until "G.B.S." era of with cheery smile.
form of advertising, in the opin- the Ancient Order of Foresters. ion of the Executive Council of
made into the question by the A special investigation was Council, with a view to starting a publicity campaign to increase and the result was revealed at the membership of the Order, the annual High Court at Cardiff.
Make all the disparaging re marks you like about foreigners shops and holela on the Continent, but you'll have to admit that they have real linguistic, pluck, says a Manchester Guardian
correspon They play a jolly good dent. game of English Language Rugg tackling bits of translation with a gallant flying leap which demands our iespect and applause. In the course of travels in every country in Europe but two I have come rise of the sun. So there appear to you in detail about the great THE CANNY MICE OF periodicals and magazines, large neross many a case in point.
ed on the hall notice-board this Within an houro Folkstone moving exhortation: "Misters the experiment I have seen. What I found notices on the wall announe-venerable voyageurs and mesdames have to say must be carefully ing "Our wines will leave you no-are earnestly requested not to take thought out and written. I am thing to hope for" and "Rooms the clothes of the bed to see the Meanwhile, all I can add is this. making arrangements to do this. running Water." (As a matter of sunrise for the colour changes." fact I easily survived the former,
London, "is putting her house in "Russia," he told a reporter in order. All the other nations are playing the fool. I cannot speak
ABERDEEN.
In Basle I was importuned lawe had better follow Russia's Feminent biologist,,,exhibited rare' do remind but cannot with advan-
and the latter were quite weather-visit a "lastly-erected establish- example as soon as possible."
tight.) A long-suffering German hotel, which had apparently been reduced to a frame of mind bor dering on despair by the state of Its rugs after sundry uncouth Bri- tons had returned from long walks, hung up a reminder that.
"Your feet the mat must wipe, or mud the carpet begets!"
A small hotel. up in the Alps, where the naive, pigtailed village maidens would forget their staff duties and pear through the doors
njar when splendid foreigners in evening togs (like novelette vil lains) sat down to dine, felt itself constrained to display this plain-
Live request:
on
"Were you treated well on youred recently at Oxford. He related to educate. The same is true of
He said that consideration
of
It was pointed out in the re- port that the principal channels: through which advertising may proceed are newspapers, weekly
posters, cinema displays, and að- vertisements in trains, omni- buses, and other. vehicles. Sir J. Arthur, Thomson, the
Educational Value. Posters on hoardings can and good humour at a lecture ment which the owner recommenda visit?" Mr. Shaw was asked.
"Biology and Human Life" deliver tage contain sufficient material best to all voyagers, are to have ordinary and artful Baths, russia chuckle. "We were treated like panzees, and of the acquisitiveness A cinema picture, even if suit- "Treated well," he repeated with stories of the intelligence of chim. advertisements displayed in cine- and sulphary bagnios, pumpings, kings, and the food
mas or trains, trams," and "'buses. artful
we had was (of knowledge) by Aberdeen Mice- able material could be utilised, minerals waters, gauze limonads, and fournish
Dinner-Bell Dash. very good. apart-
"Is the cost of living high?" he
would require to be very general ments." An Austrian phrase-book, to which I turned before visiting it's like everywhere else."
was asked. "Well he replied, conditioned reflexes led Sir Arthur in character, and is exceedingly the local barber, rushed to my
You to refer to an experiment made by expensive if continuity is desir you want to, but you can also live Pavlov took a number of white opinion that if the High Court ean live expensively in Russia if Pavlov, the Rugatan physiologist.
ed,
The Council therefore is of Has he a mind to cut quite cheaply. My last word, formice, rang a bell, and gave them decides to embark on a publicity After all this
the moment at any rate, Is this a meal, and he stated that after 300 is only fair to give any French render a giggle. on the whole, I should advise a lessons it was enough to ring the should be the principal medium campaign, Press advertising at our expense. My small nephew,
to go to Russia and bell to bring the mice dashing out young man after, assiduously studying the in-settle there. Russia is putting her of their dormitory to eat the meal
employed. junction, in railway carriages, "Ne capitalistic nations have got to generation of mice, Pavlov said, re than ever it did before, and the
house in order,, and we Western that was not there.
Advertising plays a greater The second part in all business life to-day 10k out, because we are not do- quired only 100-lessons, and the Executive is convinced that the It is all silly nonsense about Rus "I was sceptical about this," sald has a proposition to offer, the ing so. It is a very serious thing, third generation fifty, and so on.
Order in all parts of the country, sin being a failure. Russia is go- Sir Arthur, "and started ing to be a roaring success,"
similar public which would prove attrac experiments in Aberdeen,
The tive were it better known. It isi Whereas the Leningrad white mice ture involved is well worth while. first result was very interesting. fully convinced that the expendi required 300 lessons to associate the ringing of the bell with the food that was not there. the Aber- deen mice, as one might have ex-
(Laughter.)
help with "There is the perruke macker. haira?"
pas se pencher au dehors," remark-
"Strange gentlemen will to ed that he supposed it meant please not to dress for dinner, as "Don't pinch yourself in the this costume futters the souls of doors." the maid folk and no work is re sulted. Humbly asked."
"Home of Pretentious Visitors."
A French garage advertisement assured
British the travelling public that its Terms are Very Interesting," and a local Dutch guide-book, in Rugger English, called attention to "A village re
neuned for the abandon of saumon
WAITRESSES IN COFFEE SHOPS.
After a discussion lasting nearly two hours, members of the Kuala Lumpur Sanitary Board recently decided with one dissentient that waitresses should
Opinions on the Bankers. When Mr. Shaw, arrived in. Ber- lin he was asked by Reuter whe ther he thought the bankers would be able to untangle the world's present problems.
"The bankers — bah!”, replied.
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be prohibited Mr. Shaw, striding up and down pected, required only forty.To Give Three Concerts from serving in coffee shops, eating the platform. The bankers are
in Hong Kong. eating-stalls in shops and
"But what about the second the the ones who have made this mesa Sanitary Board area. The matter of things. They have not the generation? They required exact- Mr. Ivan Marshall, the famous in January vaguest iden of what the trouble the same number of lessons, tener and a member of the late jewellery shop which rather in when it was decided to permit the is all about. They have been play quite contradictory of 'that made gany, who arrived here from Aus- Aberdeen experiment was Dame Neille Melba's Opera Com-
that are fiched here. That viliage finds herself seated in a territory which afford abandon corns and every fruits." It was a Parisian
felicitously declared that "All our stones are realistic ones" and a Paris barber who styled himself a "Wige-maker With Speciality of Ladies and Gentlemen." It was n boarding-house in a Czecho-Slova kinn spa which haughtily introduc- ee itself as "The Home of Preten. tious Visitors."
was Just considered
continuance of
women and
The
by Pavlov, who said that he must traliu a few days ago, will be have been deceived by an assistant, holding a concert at the Prince's and publicly withdrew his views." Theatre on Saturday, Sunday and
Monkeys That Thought,
Monday,
Sir Arthur told of an experiment Mr. Marshall. has with him Mr. made with some chimpanzees. A Paul Pedrini the great British foot banana was put high up out of Juggler who will appear with bis their reach, and one of them hit troupe of Zambeal baboong, Mr. on the device of piling one bax on Pedrini will also exhibit. a peculiar top of another until by climbing specimen of wombat (half wombat. on them it could reach the fruit, and half native bear) which is the "That was sheer intelligence," he only one of its kind ever seen in Haid,
Hong Kong. - Sherrington, when he left a room Mr. Marshall, who has a very which he had his chimpanzees, high reputation as a concert artiste, thought he would like to see what will aing several Scottish and Iriel they were up. to. In his absence, ballads.
girls ing with theories and apparently serving in these establishments.. they do not know the first thing
The subject was raised by the about their business, Protector of Chinese, who present- "Any child ought to know that ed to the Board the case for the the world can not exist on credit. abolition of what he described as a You have got to build houses with form of exploitation of women, in sticks and stones and you have the counte of which he spoke of the got to eat bread to live. But the temptations to which respectable bankers haven't realised that yet, A German inn, which apparent-giris employed in such places might and they seem to think that 'credit ly had had a bit of trouble with be exposed because of the number will take care of everything. The its customers some time or other, of former known prostitutes who beat remedy to the world's ills is presented me with # somewhat were engaged there:
good hard work all round not testy, and plaintive communication Corroboration of the statements credit and more credit." couched in these terms: "The hotel of the Protector of Chinese came With, regard to religion, in Rua- shall replace the home for travel from Mr. Lai Tet-loke, JP, who sin, Mr. Shaw said: "I did not at ling people. This demands a good said he spoke from personal in- tend any church services while I many trifling main points requir-vestigations. He urged, however, was there, but I am sure no one Ing lots of money, work, and attuu that women should be permitted to is prevented from going to church tion. The guests ought to ob- work in coffee-shopa if they were as everyone In the rest of the serve that, a hotel is not an in-above, an age-limit, such age-limit world believes. People in Russia ter). The same iden had occurred Chinese Indles, who will sing in stitution of public culture, but a to be prescribed by the Board. are too busy working to think of to one of the chimpanzees. It was Chinese, and perform some of their
going to church-for that matter a lady chimpanzee who got there national dances. Christopher Wren's handsome first. There is no use using any It is trusted that Hong Kong churches are empty In London too, word for that except just intelli will give Mr. Ivan Marshall the but there would be.no end of pro- gence..
uenal hearty support. test if anyone mentioned tearing them down."
IF YOU COME DOWN IN THE WORLD
There's no need to worry so long as you still have your health. Keep smiling and cheerful and the luck will turn.
Health is the greatest wealth in the world and worth. prizing. And a litle attention to the needs of your in- ternal organs will amply repay you in greater vigour, good spirits and high optimism in the face of life's diffß-" culties.
An occational dose of
LIVER & LAXATIVE
INKETTES
is a little act of kindness to which you should treat your Internal organs every now and then
Thead dainty little aperient and stomach-cleansing pills have a remarkable stimulating effect both physical-
ly and mentally. They are Ideal as both a preventative and a corrective of constipation, billousness, liverlandas, sick headaches,
stomach, Astulence,coated tongues}} foul breath, and pimples and skin
such as, arise; from an unfealthy condition of the internal organs. As an aid to digestion they are splendid, and during, ho weather invaluable for their cooling and cleaning pro-
TAKE PINKETTES AND
KEEP SMILING E
So he put his eye to the keyhole, One of the big attractions of the only to meet another eye. (Laugh- show will be the appearance of two
"I think that as the study of chimpanzees, and other anthropoida Asked about conditions in Rus- goes on, the dawn of reason, will Bia Mr. Shaw declared: There's be discovered. When some chim. plenty of food in Russia. Black bread and cabbage soup agree were greatly pleased and spent,
panzees; were given: mirrors they with me,
and I have had plenty days looking at themselves, each of both...
hand, but having the right hand one holding the mirror in the left
always ready to punch the fellow looking at it through the glass. They never got rid of the idea that there was another fellow, but when the glass mirrors were taken away Mr. Shaw admitted that at pre- which were merely pieces of polish- they found mirrors of their own sent Bolshevism; would not do for
ed tin. England, but nevertheless, he said.
"It la torture to get back again after being in Soviet land. After You have seen Bolshevism on the apot there can be no doubt but that capitalism is doomed."
Bolshevism In Itself a Good Thing."
Then they found that puddles
it was making progress and was of water gave a reflection, and they in itself a good thing His trip would gaze into the water by the he added, had left a strong Im pression on him. He had not been hour. I should think that just at to theatres much, but he had seen that time there was the dawn of self-consciousness, that. reason was
cap
chimpanzee's mind"
à number of films, and liked them. Just beginning to dawn on the
While saying all this Mr. Shaw was running about, the platform ostensibly looking for his luggage.
That, however, was being efficient- THE CHEAPEST BIBLE. |ly taken care of by Viscount As-
tor, and the other members of the The British and Foreign Bible party...
bar Society have just published a new When it was suggested that Mr. edition of the English Bible Au- Shaw should see the famous, thorised Version, which will be the
Temple of Pergamon," in Berlin, cheapest on the market
HOTEL GUESTS
At Peninsula Hotel, Kowloon.
September 1, 1981)
Mr. W. Bolton. Mr. C. B. Chen... Mr. A. Folger,
Mr. J. R. Hooley. Mr. J: K. Ireland.
Messrs. H. Koehn, A. R. Kinross.. Mr. and Mrs. W. S. Lords, Mr. Wm R. Levis garlan
A
Mr. O. Morgenstein.
Mr. and Mrs. F. M. Pentrice.. Mr. C. A. Stelbel.
Messra AH Tait, C. K. Taye.
A LONG-SOUGHT FLOWER.
Mr. H. H. Thomas, the Horilcul-
tural Correspondent, of The Dally Telegraph, writes, Rosarians, in this country have, for long been trying to obtain "an ever-blooming, climbing, rose, but without success, | and the news that a patent has been granted to an American grower for rose of proved capacity to com inge, flowering all the year round will create a good deal of interest in horticultural circles.
be at once replied: "That's Just In cloth, the edition is being what I want to see
Unfortunpublished (at one whaling The In most parts of the British fales Its usefulness as an out-of-door rose ately for his hopes, however, Lady cost of production has been defray would cease with the passing of Astor had heard about the build- ed from the special gift made by Suramer, but those who grow roses ing exhibition, so ha fallantly gave Canada last year in celebration of in large quantities under glass for Way, and it was decided to go the 14th birthday of the Bible mariest will, ng coubt, be anxious to Mespwhile, large crowd had At present the Bible Society sells American origin, are popular festt. Already many roSES : Of nasembled - ontside the station - A over, hal; a million" En
varieties here, but this promless to movis ihan was, working Hard film, everyigmar,
eclipse them all,
there.'s
lothong wulanzgalb
the specific treatment
in cases of
MALARIA AND SIMILAR FEVERS
strongly recommended by all Physicians.
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Pilsener, Belgian, "Lion" brand, per case
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