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WITH ARCHIBALD.
A CAMPING OUT
YARN.
THE CHINA MÁIL,
One is in The car was not overloaded, there yard isn't camping out. was space for Archibald and myself and the other out, if you follow me.” In the front seat but Marmaduke's Our hoe was that Farmer Jones general appearance gave clear evid-and his horses would be able to ex- ence of camping-out intentions. It tricate our car in time for us to was an open car with what the return to the highway and discover makers described as a "one-man a suitable camping place before dark. The afternoon wore away slowly, ollapsible hood." I had seen an illustration of this hood where the It was a warm day, the flies were seemed to be friendly, the cows were curious, the owner of the car.
IN SUSSEX.
About two centuries ago, a wise but anonymous writer, desiring no doubt to warn his fellow men, evolv. ed from the depths of his ex-raising the overhead covering into chickens cackled, the ducks quack- perience the following proverb: position with a gentle and graceful ed, the pigs in a near-by inclosure "Talk of camps, but stay at home," pressure of his Index finger. It was conversed in guttural tones; and the Now, proverbs seem to have a very
a highly imaginative illustration, as two farm hands dealated at inter vals from their work in the barn compelling authority, although some will be seen later.
On the running board of the car and came over to look at the car times quite unwarranted by the small grain of truth concealed within, was packed a collapsible tent which and shake their heads gloomily. I cannot say that the aforesaid pro- fully Itved up to its name, also two We finally discovered a shady spot verb was the immediate cause of collapsible garden chairs, two collap-under a tree at the back of the the lack of knowledge evinced by me sible cota, of the great outdoors viewed table. through the pungent smoke of the friendly camp fire.
and A
collapsible barn, and sat down to wait. Wait- In the interior of the car ing was a somnolent occupation, cooking and as Archibald talked in a de- stowed were
various ntensils, including a collapsible stove sultory manner, his voice sounded and a water bucket that collapsed, farther and farther away.
A heavy touch on my shoulder also sundry numbered parcels whose contents were known to Archibald awoko me, and looking up, I gazed into 'a face that seemed strangely and jotted in a notebook.
It is true that I often talked about camps, read much about camping out, day-dreamed of solitude with the bacon sizzling in the pan-and
"All the comforts of home," said familler. It was round, red and stayed at home. But it was not the fear of disillusionment that kept me Archibald as he strapped an extra jolly, and belonged to a stout, gray. Somewhat dazed by. at home, nor yet that other well-suit case on the luggage grid. Then haired man dressed in corduroys
and leggings, It was worn proverb which says: "The he oppened the suit case.
my nap, the personality of the jolly best part of camping out is the com- portable wireless receiver.
faced man seemed to dawn upon "Splendid!" I cried. "Does it ing home. I dreamed of camps and stayed at home because lack of time collapse?" and opportunity compelled rather than proverbs.
At any rate, I thought so until several weeks ago, when my brother In-law, Archibald, turned on my ideas of lack of time and opportunity and, and figuratively speaking, tore
them to tatters.
-
me.
"Good afternoon,, Mr. Wardle," "Of course,"
replied Archibald,
I said, blinking. grinning, "all wireless receivers Jones, sir, Jones is my name," collapse. You have only to press agaid the stout man.
little gadget and they shut up." "Oh, beg pardon," I said, now
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 1928.
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and
The weather was ideal for our quite awake, "I thought-er-" I start, and as we headed west along stood up and awoke Archibald. a main road Archibald bubbled with Mr. Jones is here, ‘old chap,” good cheer. At intervals' he
"Oh, quite," aid Archibald, even burst into song, but rising. May we borrow a few as, Marmaduke missed fire and behorses, I mean, between one came generally confused at these two horses to-" lyrical moments, Archibald finally desisted We had been following
1
""Time and opportunity," he echoed scornfully, "why, you take them, you don't wait for them to be offered you on a silver platter, what?"
We were standing at the moment the main read for about an hour chuckling, "I see your trouble as "Bless you," cried the atout man, by the door of the garage on his when the captain at the wheel pro- soon as I came, and we've got your
posed a change of course.
car out of the Bitch, and it's in the "What do you say to getting barn all safe and sound. Now, lost?" asked "Archibald as he halted
country placé in Sussex. His car, a faithful retainer of the earlier days of motoring, but, according to Archi- bald, "still going strong," stood out- side surrounded by a miscellane ous collection of objects destined to be deposited within. Achibald was preparing for a two weeks motor camping tour. It was a sud- den'notion on his part, Induced pro-
"Good!" I cried, "let us flee the A turn of the bably by the spell of fine weather we haunts of 'men.”
the car at a turning to the right. It came along in and have a bite of
supper."
"No, really," said Archibald, was a narrow road without a sign- nest, and it led, as far as we were "wo can't impose on your It's concerned, into the unknown.
awfully decent in you to ask us, but"
*
*
had had for several days, and on wheel took us into the narrow road
"Come along," said the farmer, still chuckling, "and after you've had a bite, there's spare room up-
my arrival from London. I was way bordered with high hedges. stairs for you both. It's too late saluted with an invitation to accom-For a hundred yards or more for you to find a camping place
spun along, then the pany him. It was an alluring pro-we
resolved It- position, and I thrilled at the roadway gradually
a grasa-grown cart prospect an Archibald mapped out self into the route, the very vagueness of track, and a sudden turn de- posited us in a farmer's barnyard which gave it a peculiar charm.
*
where several mild-eyed cows re-
to-night. Come along, sirs." And he strode away toward the house.-
"He thinks his name is Jones," I whispered, "but it's really Wardle, and this is Manor Farm, Dingley Delll".
Sussex, Kent, Devonshire, Dart-garded as with curiosity. They
"Eh? Why, so it lat" said Ar- meor, Valley of the Wye, the were joined almost immediately by Chilterns, the Cotswolda, in fact just two freah-complexioned farm hands chibald, "let's accept, shall we?" who also registered bovine curio I shall always retain the Impres following where Marmaduke leads."
alty, but made no comment. It is sion that we supped and slept that ("Marmaduke" was Archibald's pet name for his faithful if somewhat always embarrassing to trespass on night as the guests of Mr. Pick- ancient car.). "No Bet route, no private domains with no excuse for wirk's friend at Dingley Dell. so doing. Archibald rose to the Otherwise, how shall I account for planned camping places, no time: schedule, just moving when and occasion and tried to invent an ex- the kitchen wherein we sat down to a sumptuous repast of 'ham and where the inspiration of the moment:
cgos, topped off with strawberries "Er-have you any-er-fish to and cream? It was, as Mr. directs, if you follow me."
"But," I began feebly; and then I sell?" he asked.
Snodgrass described, . "à large mentioned my lamentable lack of One of the farm hands looked at apartment with red brick floor and time as well as seasonable oppor- the other who scratched his tousled a capacious chimney." and "an old
both looked at Archibald, who re-sedate demeanour ticked gravely able pastime of camping out.
"This is your opportunity, and peated his question.
in one corner." Or how shall I it's seasonable, Isn't this the merry "Fish?" repeated one of the otherwise account for the fovial
cuse.
.
tunity for indulgence in the delect-locks and looked back. Then they eight-day clock of solemn and
month of June? And as for time, rustics.
"Did he?" I asked, vaguely.
hospitality of our host, a bachelor,
wo
take it, take it by the oarlock-er "Yes," said Archibald, "salmon, and the kindly attentions of his
I mean, forelock. Did not Rabelais trout or sole will do."
spinster sister? And when say: "The hours are made for man,
"No-o," said the farm hand, shak-retired to our room upstairs, there and not man for the hours'?"*.
ing his head slowly, "this be Farmer was a veritable lattice window from Jones' place. The fishmonger be in which Mr. Pickwick might well vilinge down yonder."
have surveyed his pleasant sur "Oh," said Archibald to me, "roundings on the morning after thought you were mistaken. This his arrival at Dingley Dell. is Farmer Jones's place, not the fishermonger's."
"Of course, he did."
"Well, in that case, I------”
"We weigh anchor at 10 am. en Tuesday.
Report on board at 9. o'clock ready for duty," commanded Archibald.
"Aye, aye, air!" I replied. And
that is how I came to "talk of camps" and didn't stay at home.
"Sorry, my mistake," I sald, I'm afraid we're lost."
"Let' get back to the haunts of men.
"We only need the fat boy' to complete the chain of evidence! said Archibald, yawning, "and per- haps he will turn up in the morning. But mind you, old chap, this isn't re-camping out. It's very, snug and barnyard. comfortable and all that, but it isn't Was 2 trifle camping out."
"Right," said Archibald, versing from the reversal
A hurried return to London the Hig following Monday morning, a hur too rapid, and before he could ried packing of ก
small gult turn into the road, the back wheels den shower of rain beating upon "No," I paid, listening to a sud- case, and the same evening found went over the edge and sank into a the roof just overhead, "this fan't me again at Archibald's place ready ditch where the ground was soft and camping out. We must not let it
for the start next morning. We miry, Slowly the back wheels aank, occur again."B. F. In "Christian talked rather far into the might, buzzing their protest, but unable to Science Monitor."
and as a consequence, Marmaduke get a grip sufficient to raise us from waited impatiently for our appear the ditch. In a few moments, Archi- ance on Tuesday. It was some time bald stopped the engine, and after 10 o'clock before we were we got out to take a look. The farm ready-in fact, the inch hour hands came over and joined us in rived while wo were still pack- our look. ing things on the car, and Archibald
"You he sunk in a ditch, mister," suggested that we postpone our start said one, with an evident desire to antil after the midday meal.
It was just 2 o'clock as Archibald enlighten us..
"Aye, both wheels," said the other
took the wheel, and wo sped down rustic, also with a laudable desire to the driveway to the entrance gates make matters clear. They rubbed A moment more, and our wheels
were spinning on the highway, and their chins, leared against the fence we were headed into the more-or and gazed at poor Marmaduke call- less unknown. The uncertainty of ng inaudibly for help.
bald-finally
our movements, and especially ofAny horses handy?" asked Archi our first camping place, tinged our tour with the rosente hue of adven tore.
MORE MILE
PER GALLON
9 HP CLYNO.
LANE CRAWFORD LTD
ASD, two,"replied one of our
ruspic, friends.
"Good, where, are they
THE LION AND THE MOUSE
"They be with Mister Jones in mouse is familiar to all, how the The fable of the lion and the
Pulborough."
***Not so good,” said Archibald, "When will they return??
little mouse saved the lion's life by nibbling away the moshes of the net in which he had been eaught. It is in precisely the same
The two illlers of the soll consult, way that Pinkettes work=, gently
ed together and finally decided that but surely these dainty little laxa-
Farmer Jones and the horses, would tives: cat buffere
hot, ba... available before 7 o'clock stipation and.
that evening. Archibald heaved a rescuing them
free from con-
gid liver this
the sick, hende.
sigh and consulted with me the reaches and other ailments that aris sult being our united decision to therefrom
walt for Farmer Jones
"no" sultable" place near abereen-to cen
estabifar our camp, and Archibald liams Medie
declared thät:
"Camping in's bara Road Shangha
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Ice Cream Cake
Eskimo Pie.
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