THURSDAY, MAY 24, 1928.
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THE CHINA MAIL,
'HIT THE DECK." BRITAIN'S WORKLESS
ECHO OF A WEIRD & WON- DERFUL NAVAL INCIDENT.
"A LITTLE NIGHTMARE."
A little nightmare, being ex- tracts from a most remarkable dream in which, for some un- known reason, the Old Bailey was presided over by a president in atend of a judge.
President: Prisoner at the bar, you are charged with having stolen the duck and stuffings. Have you anything to say before sentence is passed and you are sent to penal servitude for, the rest of your natural life?
Prisoner (in a firm voice): Not guilty, sir,
WHERE MEN ARE TOO OLD AT 45.
OFFICIAL ANALYSIS,
FIRST AID.
says
SKILFULLY GIVEN BY CLEVER SHANGHAI CHILD,
DOG BITE TREATMENT.
The remarkable sagacity of a What sort of people are the un- ten-year-old Shanghai child employed? Are they a "standing which was demonstrated a few army," unwilling to work if work days ago when a smaller com- were available? Are they skilled panion was attacked by a feroci or unskilled; at what age is the ous Alsatian police dog, might be chance of employment lowest; to used to rout much of the unfair what extent is the general problem criticism one hears applies to the governed by the factor of educa- "spoiled Shanghai chlid,” tion; which industries, proportion- the "N. C. Daily News" to hand. ately, are giving the least employ-{ The incident took place just as ment?
a group of four children from the Upon these points, and upon Western district were entering many others, information which is Jessfield Park, after school on essential to a proper diagnosis of Tuesday afternoon. They were the nation's most chronic "disease" accompanied by a Chinese amaḥ, is contained in a report issued re- and at the entrance of the park, cently by the Ministry of Labour, a large Alsatian began to make "An investigation into the personal unpleasant advances upon the circumstances and industrial his group. One small boy of seven tory of 9,748 claimants to unem years was frightened and started ployed benefit"-about 1 per cent. to run away from the dog, who, of those on the "live register" in accepting fright as a challenge, April, 1927-it represents the now sprang at the child and bit him familiar "sample" method of in severely in several places on the (The court was then cleared quiry, and is regarded by its au- forearm. while the president and prosecuthors as a reliable index to the ac tion considered whether the pritual conditions of the whole body soner's impudent assertion that of unemployment. he did not steal the duck should One popular misconception this inquiry effectively dispels; the un- President on the resumption, employed are not a static army of of business); Prisoner at the bar, about 1,000,000 strong, whose per- manner, all the children following by virtue of a pettifogging tech-sonnel is always very much, the the heroine and her charge back nicality it has been decided that
the outside, same. At
the "re-to the former's house. There, your preposterous and offensive. plea of "Not guilty" shall be tem- porarily admitted. I will now call Prosecutor (to prisoner): What did you do with the duck after you had stolen it?
President (with indignation) One moment, please. I do not think I can allow that statement. It is as good as asking the Court to believe that you did not steal the duck.
Prisoner (calmly): Certainly, sir. I plead "Not guilty" to the charge.
be entered in the minutes.)
upon the prosecutor.
Prisoner: I never saw the duck. President (very sternly): Don't quibble, sir! Answer a plain question in a plain way.
Prisoner (wearily): Oh, very well then-Yes.
Prosecutor (eagerly); Yes, what?
Prisoner (politely): Yes, please. President: One moment, I do not think the prisoner's last state- ment ought to be admitted. I am not very sure what it means, but it may mean something which is contrary to the interests of the prosecution.
(The court is again cleared while the point is considered in private).
President (on resumption of business) Prisoner at the bar, your last statement has been ex- punged from the minutes as pre- judicial to the interests of good discipline and the case so admir- ably stated by the prosecution. Greatly against my own better judgment, I will now call upon the defence.
Defender (examining prison- er): I take it that you have never before been accused of stealing a duck?
I
The little girl, quite unconcern- ed at the obvious, savagery of the dog, ran to the spot and frighten- ed him away from the small boy. She then took complete charge of the situation in a truly Napoleonic
gulara" who seem unable to get knowing that her mother was out any sort of job number about and that the small boy's mother 70,000, or 7 per cent. of the total was also away from home, the on the registers; the history of the little girl went to the medicine remainder shows that, if the ag- chest, took down the bottle of gregate of the unemployed rémoins lysol and placed the required more or less the same, their per- amount in water, got a clean face sonnel is constantly fluctuating. cloth and bathed the bleeding It is also erroneous to regard wounds. Then, she sought the people in receipt of the "dold" as medicine cheat once more and essentially unemployable. To found boracic ointment and band- qualify for benefit a man must be ages. The powder was applied This inquiry and the boy's arm tied up in quite "capable of work." proves that of all the cases inves- an expert way. Then the com
lady. went tigated those "verging on the un-petent young
the telephone and got employable" numbered only 2 per to
friend living cent. and that they were people on the wire a mostly over 60 years of age. No near at hand who had a fewer than 88.8 per cent. would in The lady came immediately when normal times have been in steady told what had happened, and employment, or would, at least, Marjorie, that being the collected have obtained á fair amount of small miss' name, and the small work.
boy were taken to the Bubbling
car.
In fact, there are to-day about Well Police Station where a re- 500,000 more people in employment port was given about the dog. than was the case in 1924, and the, The dog was thereafter put under nation's industrial health has observation, as it is understood steadily improved since the serious he had attacked other children on relapse of 1926. Where this report previous occasions, and moreover, is of particular value is that it was unmuzzled. After a report suggests, for the first time, the had been made to the police it was suggested that the boy should be taken to the Health Department's offices for farther preventive treatment, and there WHEN EATING IS HARD WORK, the skin wounds were cauterised.
+
What the Dyspeptic Thinks.
President (instantly): I for-
Men and women who come to the bid you to make any such augges-
table with haggard, drawn looks tion, sir. Without any prejudice and poor appetite are to be pltied,
ffor
their miserable existence. at all to the present charge, it is notorious that the prisoner has. They are afraid to eat food which been stealing ducks--and stuffing normal, robust persons will enjoy. ever since he was a boy at However hungry they may be, school.
even the lightest meal brings a re currence of those Indigestion pains
Defender (obsequiously): With all respect, sir, I submit
President (instantly): Put that man under close arrest for con- tempt of court!
When the doctor saw the band- ages and heard what had already been done he praised the child's nimble-wits which had been re- sponsible for the early precau tions, believed to have prevented serious consequences.
Questioned as to how she hap- pened to know all these things, Marjorie who is a pupil at The Yu Yuen Road School for Girls, de- clared dutifully that she had often seen mother doing things
.
which cause the victim agony.
But why suffer the miseries of like that. dyspepsia, with its irritability, acute pains in the back and chest, Simpkins, but never had enough Samuel Hopkins loved Sophia and
water brash? The defender is removed to the flatulence cells under a strong escort.) · · Those continuous bouts of indiges- courage to propose, being invari
with shyness Prosecutor (rising to cross- tion with lack of food have im ably overwhelmed examine): When you were found poverished your blood. It has be- when he met her. At last, deter- with the duck's lege sticking out come so thin and weak that it has mined to put his fate to the test, of your pocket, what did you
left your body in a debilitated he rang her up. say?
state, and reduced you to a hag- Prisoner: I never was found gard and depressing frame. with-
"Miss Simpkins?" "Miss Simpkins speaking.” "Er-will you marry me, Simpkins?"
"Yes Who is speaking?"
Mias
pro-
The most reliable method to deal President (flercely): I refuse with indigestion is to begin at to let this Court be trifled with once to tone up and replenish your any longer! (To prosecutor) if blood. For this purpose there is
A guo! break of immense you have any more witnesses for no better tonic than Dr. Williams' the prosecution, please call them pink pills, which will increase and portions, full details of which have at once, Otherwise the Court renew your blood, making a rich, not reached Shanghai yet, took will now
retire to consider its red supply to flow through your place in Hangchow early last sentence.
veins. The stomach and digestive week. More than 100 men com- (At the end of five minutes the organs will at once begin to re- bined to kill four warders, wound prisoner is marched in again in viva and properly function. Pain others, cut the telephone wires and. custody of a troop of Lifeguards, and depression will disappear, and disperse in the vicinity. The He is wearing his trousers back you will enjoy the delights of the military set off after them, how- to front, and the President has table once more. I
ever, and recaptured 40. confiscated his umbrella, thereby So begin now!" to conquer your indicating that he has been sen- indigestion by taking Dr. Williams' tenced to perpetual imprisonment, pink pills for pale people. Of all degree to which advancing age is loss of all civil rights and insur-chemists, or post. free at $1.60 per responsible for unemployment, and ance benefit, and placed on half-bottle, 6 bottles $8, from the Dr. thereby, indicates, by inference. pay, this decision to take effect as Williams Medicine Co., 60, Kiang- that some workless people "will be Nothing else always with us."-London "Daily from the Battle of Trafalgar).se Road, Shanghal. "Manchester Guardian."
Telegraph."
THE LETTERS ARE ALL MAILED--
MAY 1.GO TO
LUNCH NOW?
will do.
BRINGING UP FATHER.
O-KAY
YOUR STOCK:
IS UP TEN
POINTS-
O-KAY
WE LOST THAT CONTRACT WITH QUICK AND LAGG COMPANY-
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Courtesy, Comfort, Service and Luxuries of Modern Hotel Construction
THE HOTEL RIVIERA
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Cable Address :-" RIVIERA, MACAU."
SPECIAL SILK NUMBER
OF THE
CHINA JOURNAL
MAY ISSUE CONTENTS: What Silk Means to Shanghai. Artificial Silk.
History of Silk in China.
How Silk Came to Europe.
The Potentialities of the Silk Industry of
China,
A Comparative Study of Cocoons. Wild Silk in Manchuria...
Through the Silk Producing Districts of
Central China.
Reports from Silk Improvement and Experi-
ment Stations in China for 1927.
The Life of the Silkworm.
Diseases of the Silkworm.
Price:
$1.00.
Annual Subscription: $11.00 (Shanghal Currency) From your Bookseller or direct from the office of
THE CHINA JOURNAL
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