SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 1926.
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Tel Central 1915.
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ENGINEERS and SHIPBUILDERS, BOILER MAKERS, BRASS and IRON FOUNDERS. All work done in this establishment is guaranteed. We have over thirty years' experience. We own two SUpways and can accommodate any craft of 200 feet long, a
Town Oce: 84,. Connaught Road Central, Hongkong. Tel. Central No. 469. Shipyard: Sham-Bul-Po, Kowloon, Hongkong.
Tel. Kowloon No. 9. Estimates furnished on application.
Hongkong, "April 1,"′′ 1924.
ASAHI
Sole
BEER
Agents:
MITSUI
你
BUSSAN
KAISHA.
TER
TIT-BITS.
SHORT TURNS AND ENCORES.
THE CHINA MAIL.
SEIGMUNDIS'S PAGE.
Which is the longest word in accustomed his body in a diving, the English language--Smiles), poil to rapid changes of air pres. because there is a mile, between sure; but coming down, doubt- the first letter and the last. less owing to exhaustion, his des Why are policemen like electri- 'cent was too quick, and he suffer city? Because they are an invisi-ed acutely, chiefly from a blinding: ble force.
headache above the eyes, while When is a lover like a tailor?- muscular paine were so great When he presses his suit.
that on landing he could not move, What is the best way to cure and all but lost consciousness, Uneasy lies the head that eats rheumatism in your foot?-Shove tousted bread while in bed.
the foot through a plate-glass window, and then the pain is gone..
Never forget a friend if he owes you anything!
14
Pawnbrokers prefer parties without redeeming
who
are
jqualities.
Gentlemen prefer blondes, but blondes aren't so very particular!
Some folks like to kiss by tele phone. Others do not: they rather prefer to have it direct
from the battery.
+
A Kowloon father is said to Have named his new-born baby Macbeth, because he. murdered sleep.
The mearest man I have ever. seen is that gentleman who has a mole on the back of his neck, and buttons his collar on it so as to save the expense of buying a collar-button.
ņ
A corn on the ear is worth two on the toe.
sang
A certain young man
on the Penk
"Happy Be Thy Dreams" one night, and the neighbours nearly died
with nightmare.
If you want to rise early in the morning, take a lot of yeast" the night before.
蝙
Never rely on a man who stut- ters for. he always breaks his word.
I chanced to see an extremely portly gentleman the other day, whose shadow even could kill a child..
Soldiers must be very dishonest, for there is scarcely a single night when a sentry is not reliev ed of his watch.
No matter how poor a man is, The can always have a watch and chain,
What's that?—Yes,
quite right, at the Victoria Gaol.
The best way for a lover to keep the other's affection is not to: return it.
"The "tongue of woman is her sword," 'tis said No wonder- she never lets it grow ruaty for want of using it.
Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener.
"TIS REGRETTED.
A young clerk in a dry goods
-store,
Who never was on skates be-
fore,
Arose badly lamed, And loudly exclaimed, "Why the deuce don't they pad,
the floor?"
TO PASS THE MONUMENT.
A kitchen stove-a servant
girl
A kérosine can-oh, foolish
churl;
A lighted match-a flash-a
boom
She now has a lot of earthly
room!
A TRAGEDY.
Who went and bought me a.
little gun?
A pretty toy for her darling
Bon
.
Who told me to go out and
have some fun?
My Mother! One day when I did get a
chatice,
I shot one eye, out of sister
Nance.
Then, who pressed a boot
against my panta?
My Father!
· INELEGANT).
Lady: "Are those apples fit for be hog to eat?"*
Fruiter: "I don't know, ma'am; try one and see
MORE CONUNDRUMS.
Why are ballcons in mid-ain like vagrants.?— Because they have no visible means of support, Why is necessity like an ignor- ant lawyer?-Because it knows ao law.
THE LAST SLAVES.
New "Father Abraham" of Nepal."
Why is a small-brained person like a small-necked bottle ?--Be- the more noise they make in pour- cause the less they have in them
The year 1926 will be remern- ing it out.
bered by thousands of humble Why is Buckingham Palace the folk in Nepal, as 1862 is remem- cheapest piece of property in Engbered in America, for it has seen land-Because it was bought for the freeing of the last slaves. a crown and kept up by a sover- eign.
"
Why is a dog's tail like the heart of a tree?-Because it is the farthest from the bark..
Why are printers liable to catch cold? Because they always use damp sheets.
STOP KIDDING.
The owners. of four or five thousand slaves in this Indian State freed them without compan- sation, and about a hundred paid for their own release; but over fifty thousand were paid for by the Government at s cost of $275,000, working out at about ave guineas a slave. Boys under three cost something over # guinea, while men and women in each.. their prime averaged six pounds
Athens, Just Summer on a holiday. Poppa and Momma were in
Whey they passed the great Par- Many of the slaves have re- thenon, Poppa exploded: "Mom-mained as the paid servants of ma, those ruins are 2,300 years their former. owners. Many old,"
others have been settled on land in the hills.
"Aw, "g'wan, you can't Foppa. It's 1925 now.".
bluff,
REJINGLED.
"Mother, may I go to fly ?"
"Yes, my darling Claire. Put on your leather coat and
· hat..
But don't go near the air:""
HURRAH, DONOGHUE"
The End of a Tragedy, So Nepal will no longer be the acene of the tragedy pictured by
THE
HONGKONG
HONGKONG HOTEL: REFULSE BAY HOTEL;
יי,
PEAK HOTEL.
Telegraphic Address: "KREMLIN, HONGKONG.”
AND
SHANGHAI
ASTOR HOUSE HOTEL; PALACE HOTEL; KALEE HOTEL; MAJESTIC HOTEL," Telegraphic Address: "CENTRAL, SHANGHAL”
HOTELS,
LIMITED.
In association with the Grand Hotel des Wagons Lits, Peking.
11
Pal. Acht. "Clorica" CLERMONT HOTEL. Phone X,810,
1 Chatham Road, Kowloon Cholcest Location in the Colony in European section Facing Harbour, and Unobstructed View of Hongkong, and Ships, ontering, and leaving the Port Only 5 minuten from Wharf and Farry, Largo Airy Rooms" with Apacious Verandahs, all Nowly Purnished and Equipped with Simmon's Beds, Electric Fans, White Enamelled Batha, Hot Water Geysers. Flush Toilets. First Class Dining Room, Opon to the Public. Catering Department, under European Supervision. Stoamor met by our reprosantacive. For torme and Information
Achiross:-MANAGEMENT.
EMPRESS HOTEL.
Tek Add. "Empreslogo."
Tel. Kowloon 206,"
212, Mody Road, Kowloon. Private Hotel best location in Kowloon, convenient to ferry, Anta of 2 or 3 rooms, also bod-sitting-fooma, dally or monthly rates. Excolient cuisine, special rates for families. For Information apply to
MRS. B. OWEN MURPHY,
Proprietress.
KING EDWARD HOTEL ..
CENTRAL LOCATION, KLETKJU TILA MR Pan Entriana, Shwelco
Aaw and Eghting, European Bathe
MASSAGE
Mr. SHIMIDZU Mrs. HONDA. No. 24, Wyndham Street,
Tel. C: 4945..
ADELPHI HOTEL,
the good Prime Minister in his enery lines, But, and Cnid Walan Hyst appeal to the people In the oldest of Pood and Service
Ladies and Gent"). Halgtroming Saloon, 3rd Floor days happy slave, families were Tab tan... Teisunplug Adam-V sold and a mother and her baby
J. WITUMEUL Anne 109. went one way and her husband"] and little daughter went another way, never to meet again. Now all this is over, and Nepal's fine Prime Minister, Sir Chandre A teacher asked a small boy at Jung, has celebrated his 64th a history class: What are the birthday with his life dream real- races that have Bominated Englised. He has fought for freedom land since the Roman invasion?" hard and fong. It is not yet two the Derby, the Oaks, the St.years since he made an impres- Leger and the Grand National, sive appeal to his countrymen, in miss," he replied intelligently
an historic speech, to abolish a practice on which rested the curse of God.":
"SAILOR'S CONSOLATION."
[By Charles Dibdin, One night came on a
cane,
13
When Sir Chandra Jung made his appen he declared that the hurri-trade in human beings was so re- volting to the civilised world that mankind would have no friendly intercourse with nations who
The sea was mountains roll-
ing,
When Barney Buntline slewed
his quid
+1
"And said to Billy Bowline: "A strong nor-wester's blowing,
Bill:
4
practised it.
The Prime Minister's Appeal. "Recollect (he said) that, apart justice, and humanity, the good from the demands of religion,
name of the country, the weal and woe of over 50,000 of your fellow Lord help 'em, how I pities 'en.soul, rest in your hands
beings held in alavery, body and The Unhappy folks on shore now.
Hark, don't you hear it roAT
now!
opinion you will give will be one "Foolhardy chaps as live insideration, one which might with uninfluenced by any selfish con-
towns,
What danger they are all in, And now lie quaking in their
beds,
For fear the roof shall fall
property come from the scions of the great ancestry which is the pride of the country?
The Prime Minister proved to be right in his forecast of the Poor creatures, how they en-take to this great reform, for attitude the slave owners would
in!
vies us,
And wishes-I've a notion-- For our good luck in such a
storm,
To be upon the ocean! "And as for them that's out all
day
On business from their
houses,
And late at night returning
home
To cheer their babes
'spouses: While you and I, Bill, on
deck
and
the
Are comfortably lying, My eyes! what tiles and chim-
ney-pota
during the whole campaign not more than a thousand of them
showed any desire to maintain the old custom; and the movement to abolish the evil has had the good- will of rulers and people.
A PUBLIC NUISANCE.
Czecho-Slovakia, one of the: best-ordered and most prosperous States of Central Europe, is at last taking steps to deal with the difficult and humiliating problem of its beggara.
Though there is no need for anybody to beg there, beggars, swarm in the capital and all over the countryside, playing hurdy. gurdys, cracked tin whistles, and squeaky violins, or often doing nothing else for the money they | How men are killed and un-receive save holding out their an
About their heads are flying
"Both you and I have oft-times
heard
done,
By overturns from carriages,
tiquated hats. And they all do well, for the Czech is a good- By thieves, and fires in Lon-natured soul who never refuses
don'
We know what risks these
........... laudsmen run,
From noblemen to tailors; Then, Bill let us thank Pro
vidence
That you and I are sailors.”
EIGHT MILES UP.
The French Callizo has beaten his own height record
almis.
But lately a certain town coun cil'in the North of Bohemia tried the plan of issuing special tokens valued at a half-penny each. I People were asked to buy these and give them instead of the usual tip of ten hollers, which is less than a farthing. Any beggar who presented them, at the locali reller office would receive cash in exchange if he were found to be deserving of relief.
In October, 1924, he reached nearly seven and a half miles; in Hong Kong Beggars. his latest fight one of his baro- Very few beggars came at all to meters marked a little over seven exchange their tokens, and still miles and three-quarters and an- fewer came a second time. What other nearly eight miles. The is more, the district in which the Government laboratories are to tokens were issued is rapidly arbitrate between them,,"
clearing itself of the beggar The temperature eight miles up fraternity, and it is hoped other Who is it that marries many a was 90 degrees of frost, in the councils will follow the example | wife, yet lives single all his life? | midst of a best wave! The re- and so clear the entire country of
—A priest: "CATA
turn journey took two hours and a nuisance art What proof have we to say that three quarters with a 400 horse Now, how about Hong-Kong? Shakespeare was a broker-Be-power engine. The last 800 yards | The beggar nulalace la surely cause he furnished so many stock up were much the most difent greater here than in Czecho quotations. Kand over twenty minutes Slovakia. It is to be hoped that
What grows bigger the moto Of cou dalliza took a suppl
the authorities will do, something him, and he had!!
O get rid of the pEST.
you contract it? A deßt.
SINGAPORE.
Remodelled and Redecorated:
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HARRY H. WILLIES,
Managing Director.
Cables: Adelphl
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CHY LOONG.
New Season. Preserved Ginger.
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GREETINCT
THE FAR SANT
PHOTOGRAPHED CARE
Bize as reproduced, 20 cents each Smaller, 18
LEE FONG. Artistic. Photographets.
No 7. Wyndham Bed
MANY VARIETIES TO SELECT
first occasion this type of Xmas & New Year Cardfound and toplesi-made in Hóngi Konku