RETRENCHMENT
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a beakti
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ATTENTION!
N. LAZARUS"
OPHTHALMIO OPTICIAS,
5 Queen's Hand-Central, Hongkong
No. 18,098.
The China Mail.
November 3, 1920, Temperature 71
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November 3, 1919, Tomperature 73
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三拜雞 骏三月二十年十二百九千一英
HONGKONG, - WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3:1920,"
日三廿月九中英文 年九國軍中
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4
WINE MERCHANTS:
'EARLIER TELEGRAMS,
(Reuter'è Service to the China Mail.),
MOSCOW MYSTERY.
VENERABLE JOKES.
THE DEUKE MAN.
THE MOTHER-IN-LAW QUIP.
QUEER DELUSIONS.
INSANE BELIEFS.
MAN MADE OF BUTTER!
Someone once said that there are Some of the symptoms attributed only two jokes in the world, the to M. Deschanel who has just resigned drunk man joke and the mother-in-the Presidency of France, would sug law joke. There are many varieties gest that his condition is one of of the two themes, many ways of micromania. presenting the two supremely comic figures; but when we want to make each other laugh we always go back either to the drink man or to the mother-in-law.
Micromania is one of those various LONDON, October 30th.
delusions which arise even in minds While news from Russia is accepted with
of the highest intelligence and care great reserve, the ever-growing reports of
not be removed, by any amount of The seriousness of the situation indicate
reasoning proving their absurdity. that
climax may be approaching as the
The statementüs an exaggeration. In micromania the patient believes result of martial law in Moscow and There are other jokes. The curate's that his body, or some part of it, mobilisation, the object of which is not known, of all the Communists. The Food egg joke, for instance, which has has become reduced in size. In a Commissary in Moscow has announced that nothing to do either with drunkards case that came under my notice peasants of eleven Governments' are in or mothers-in-law, and the more re-same years ago a most intelligent revolt, owing to the requisitions of corn-cent Better "Olejoke. But it reman got the fixed idea that his head It is stated that among these arrested is mains to be seen whether either of had shrunk to the size of an orange. General Brasiloff.
SEBASTOPOL, October 30th, these jokes will survive, will amuse He thought himself so ridiculous generation after generation as the that be would seldom go out of two great jokes do. For the drunk doors, yet he periodically bought hats man and the mother-in-law are very of the large size of 72. A delusion old jokes. They have proved their of this kind may arise from a sm worth by provoking laughter for tion of tightening of the skin, giving thousands of years and they are still rise to the belief that the part has the most popular jokes there are. Ashrunk.
It is reported that the Bolsheviks are organising on the Volga an army of 100.000 bayonets comprising Chinese, Magyars, Germans, Tartars and other non-Russians, The army is expected to be completed in three months from cow.
All indications show that a big Bolshevik attack is imminent on General Wrangel's froot. General Wrangel is preparing for It is reported that 12.000 men of | General Budienuyla cavalry are marching
agsins General Wrangel.
LOAN TO CUBA.
NEW YORK. Oetchér 30th.» Rent reports of American financial assist ate to Cuba have cow crystallised into the statement that a group of banks, headed by Messrs. J. Pierpoint Morgan & Co.. have arranged a loan of 13 to 100 million dollars for the Ceban Government for the purpose of financing the sugar crop.
The approval of the State Departmen:
Toppsary before the kan can be effected.
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comedian impersonating a drunkard Delusions of persecution are very is sure of his laugh, and a public common. A man has a constant bað speaker, finding his audience is get-taste in his mouth or an unpleasant ting bored, has only to say the words odeur in his nose owing to some mother-in-law" to provoke fol- diseased condition, and he attributes throated merriment.
these to persecution by his enemies; people, he thinks, are poisoning his food or pumping evil-smelling gases EXTERMINATION OF COCKROACHES. into his room,
DRUNK MAN JOKE THE CIDEST.
Of the two the drunk man joke seems to be the older. The Spartans
Others, from some affection of the knew it, and used to make slaves drunk so that their sons, laughing hearing apparatus, bear voices speak- heartily, might avoid the vice throughing insalting words to them, and they fear of ridicule. The Jews knew it. attribute these voices to persons who pleTheir ancient literature is singularly pass them in the street or sit with is poor in comedy. There are not half them in a room. They may even a dozen jokes in the whole Old hear them through the wall from the Testament, but the drunk man joke next apartment.
is there. Isaiah, a grim old paritas
Another form taken by this mental'
of a statesman, made it; and affection is a belief on the part of the made it in an excellent form. The victim that someone is torturing him LUCERNE, October 31st, mother-in-law joke is not so old, by magnetism or electricity.
The The notorions Costantinist Dr. Streit but it goes back to classical times explanation is that, owing to a offer of the fireek Throne, but Prince Paul We find it in Plutarch. A man once nervous disease, he feels prickly ate tha: Prince Paul has received the threw a stone at a dog and hit his sensations in the skin, and, being has replied that the Throne belongs to King Constantine whose successor is Prince; mother-in-law, "Not such a bad shot, unable to account for their constant fieorge and neither of them has renounced after all" he said. That is presence, he comes to the conclusion the succession. Prince Paul, therefore. Plutarch's version of the joke. It that the Postmaster-General is only consere to ascend the Tarose, in the is so neat and epigrammatic that I torturing him through the telegraph Prent of the Hellenic people definitely decid- think the joke itself must have been or telephone systems. Lately such ing against the return of King Constanties old in his time. He could scarcely persons have ascribed their sensations and Prince George.
have achieved such perfect form unto wireless telegraphy! less he had been working on a long}
A person who suffers from a' delu- familiar idea. But ancient as these sion may be perfectly sane with jokes are, they have lost none of their regard to everything outside it, and freshness for us Time, it appears even use his reason in dealing with | cannot stale their infinite variety the delusion. Thus a patient who We may fairly suppose that they believed himself made of butter will last as long as our race does would not go near a fire, while one America may go dry, but the great who thought he was composed of comic tradition of the drunk man glass world not let anyone torch will survive even in Texas, The him lest he should break. Bolshevists may abolish marriage,
Eccentricity sometimes comes very but men will always remember what near to delusional insanity, but the marriage was because they will eccentric recognises that he is be always laugh when anyone says having in in absurd way, while the mother-in-law. We may picture delusionist cannot be convinced of to ourselves the last survivors of our his error.-Daily Mail. race shivering in icy caves while the
A DIFFUSER OF NEW IDEAS.
Mr. G. D. H. Cole represents in its most brilliant form the brains which are in sympathy with the Labour movement
There is an interesting appreciation of this young Oxford man in Time and Tide
"When I first met G. D. F. Cole he was still a Fellow of Magdalen College, Oxford, and, though in some respects a very sensible thorn in the Besh of the dous of staid and settled opinions, known to the rest of the world-in so far as he was known at all-only as the author of The World of Labour.*
"To make the best of the vanity of other people you must take care to lay aside all your own, 'said De Tocqueville, who generally knew what he was talking about. Bat Mr. Cole probably does not so much want to make the best of other people as to make them go his way. And they certainly cannot complain that they do not know what his way is. He is always telling them, with admirable incisiveness and iteration.
"In the seven years that have passed since the publication of the World of Labour' he has written, on an average, at least two books a year, and shows no sign of working himself out Behind these books there is a tremendous amount of sheer bird work Whatever may be thought of Mr. Cole's theories, they are solidly based on a knowledge of facts such 23 only Mr. and Mrs. Wibb con rival. He knows all there is to know about the structure of modern industry; a great deal about medieval and, transitional industry; and, as a speaker and propagandist, he has acquired a familiarity with industrial conditions throughout the country far more precise and actual than the Webbs have ever had.
..".
"He did not invent Guild Socialism;. Invention is not in his line; but he has worked, and is stil working "it out with a magnificent thoroughness. He has founded, and is the moving spirit of, the League formed to pro mate and disseminate it. He is busy, from morning until night, permeating existing associations and institutions with his ideas
"The number of National Guilda... men is not very large, but their influence is considerable. They are "on "everything and 'in" everything. The progress made by their ideas is to be seen in the Mines Bill of the Miners' Federation.' - The whole conception of nationalisation bas been changed under the influence, not of Mr. Cale directly, but of the “new industział aspirations for which
he has found a formula."
san smoulders to extinction. They will, no doubt, cheer the desperate
hardships of their winter by invent MARRIED TO A CONVICT. ing fresh quips about druck men and mothers-in-law.
"
ESCAPE FROM JAIL.
WIFE'S DISCOVERY AFTER 3 YEARS.
THE DOCTOR JOKE. No other joke seems to possess the quality of endurance: Indeed, the path of man's progress through the ages is strewn with the corpses of dead jokes which once were vital How a woman married a man who enough, but somebow missed in had escaped from gaol, where he
Endergoing a mortality. There is the "doctor" was
life sentence joke, for instance. The ancients was told in an undefended divorce knew it. "Physician, heal-thyself" case beard before the Auckland (New is a proverbial form of it. The story Zealand) Supreme Court.
of the medical man who went out The petitioner, Mrs. Madeleine hunting is another version of it. Pearl de Grey, married James Edward To-day at least," said a friend who de Grey in 1915, and only discovered met him, "you will kill nothing," three years afterwards on her hus It survived down to the middle of band's retum from France, where he the last century, and even in our had been serving in the Army, that own time G. B. Shaw has attempted he was, an escaped prisoner. The to galvanize it into fresh life. But husband was re-arrested,, and at the the joke is really dead. We no longer divorce proceedings (says the Auch laugh spontaneously at the thought land Weekly News) a'warder at Mount of a doctor, though in its day the Eden Gaal, where he is serving his doctor joke was certainly a good sentence, deposed that the respondent out-"Scotsman,”
had admitted misconduct, with a woman in London..
PASSENGERS.
DEPARTURES.
MOON-GOING ROCKET.
IXPERIMENTAL MISSILE.
U.S. PROFESSOR'S £3,000 SCHEME.
Per Venezuela to-day-Miss B. M. Abbott, Mt AA Azevedo, Miss M. Air, Mr G. 8 Aveyard. Mrs D. K. Bixir. Mr and Mrs. G. Boylius. Mr and Mrs 3. Later Bruggen, Miss G. B. Brown, Mr B & Blumenthal, Mr D. Bassaramel, KrAA. Baptista, Mesars M. L. Counce, C. C. Concanon, C. Within a month Professor Robert Carey A. R. Dimmitt. Khon Dsberadi, Goddard, of Clark College, Worcester, J.G Falanath, B H. Follegate, J. W Massachusetts, the inventor of a Fross, Hey M. C. Fitzpatrick Mesra C.moon-going rocket, is to send off his 4. Glum: Ray Gunn, 7. W. Enches, Mr frst experimental missile.
and Mrs. C. Hedrick, Mesura EL K But the professor is a careful per-
Hoed child. B. Jamel D. Tamers F-X
Lee Mr & Mrs Gec. Levy, C. F. Moelick, son, and be announces that the first D.B. Hewani, F. R. Mullen, D. C. Me rocket will only "reach a mile br Donald WM. J. McKenna. 8. B. Price, two." It will demonstrate, he holds, R. Bosenbers. H. P. Bemedies, H. Big the principle upon which his dream genbach, Mrs. Robman, Mes B. Ross is founded
Mr BB. Boxburgh. Mr M. L.Koyar.
Mr and Mrs H.. Sharpies, Wise Bharp For approximately £3,000, he les. Mr. Solomon. Mr and Mrs O. B. says, I could construct a rocket Beitir Hr 7. To Silva, bir A. W... that would shoot to an altitude where Rimmons, and Mr and Mrs B. Ta data above the reach of sounding Exters of
balloons might be obtained.
Professor 'Goddard, adds that as 2000 as he has accumulated the and is necessary fundi he will launch a
great rocket and shoot the moon.
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