the TOOM into
dracsing behind him the dead body of Ming-Ming still attached same
clothes-line to the which they had used hang him.
This lout, eyes
blazing with excitement and hatred, marched round the extrem- ities of
the room dragging the body of the poor litle animal along the Hoor as
though he was symbolically marking out the new living- space to which I
was being restricted.
PTO
+
+
+
CONTID
I felt sick inside as I watched this terrible scene,
I could see that Ming-Ming's beautiful white fur was now Ky and grimy
after being dragged through the dust
And
then 1 made kening discovery. I sud- Cesty realised that the cat had not
only been hanged but stabbed as well. I could see tiny spots of blood
that had
dripped apparently from the body as it wa tralled around the room.
MACADRE
But the Chiness were by no means finished with their grisly little came.
As Anal macabre touch they lifted the body of the dead cat on to the bed
that I was going to use that night and allowed a few spots of blood to
fall on it.
I suppose that in thela own peculiarly twisted way they were trying to
increase the impact of his death upon MC. In that they certainly 1
succeeded.
I felt numb with horTOZ and I just stood there in- wardly cursing myself
for not having the foresight to throw Ming-Ming on to a neighbouring
rooftop before the guards burst into my house.
new that as part of thelz so-called cultural revo- lution they always
made a point of killing of dogs and cats because they regarded pets
Just another bourgeois habit which had to be eliminated.
15
18
months many later when I come across d sad reminder of the slaying of
Ming-Ming. 7 found a pair of scissors in a drawer
-covered to the hilt in a strange brown-coloured de- posit and strands
of fur.
I am convinced that this was the weapon used to stab him to make him
bleed.
THE events of that terrible day were a peculiar mixture of brutality and
! farce.
MY SO-CALLED TRIAL 3
-reactionary Imperialist journalist ** was based 07 three charges-all of
them so utterly banal and Judi- almost to defy belief in Western mladı.
crowd were jostling
*FOUR
+
+
THE
THE PEOPLE
Cutting dated...
and screaming at me tid obviously hurling all kimila et allegations,
There wa even au interpreter present who obligingly shouted out the
charges detailing the terrible crimes I had com mitted.
"You have drunk alcohol in your house," he bawled.
This was quickly followed up by an even'more crush- "You have ing
indictment, despised the paper tiger we hung on your gate," he yelled.
Some weeks before the Red Guards had, in fact, strung up a paper tiger
on the gate and I imagine someone must have noticed me pointing it out
to a friend and possibly grinning as I did it
The last charge was a real *You have been classic.
around sneaking
yout house," yelled the crowd. My own house!
They were obviously re ferring to my nightly trip downstairs to bed-down
Ming-Ming. I tried to avoid attention because guards in the courtyard
were in the habit of shining torches at
me.
+
Eventually I was taken into the house and into the washroom adjoining
the B-ft. square room that was to become my cell for three months.
DEFIANCE
Two photographers came up and stood in front of me. The crowd then came
into the house and into the washroom and started
shouting at me: "Bow your head, bow your head."
-חו חיו
i
·
-
I
·
1
·
19
ful to submit voluntarily to 14 humillation.
When they saw I wouldn't bow my head they came : round behind me,
knocked my hands from my hips and forced my head down, while their
charming Press men fred of Nashbulbs and took my picture with my head
bowed down.
left Eventually, I was alone in my 8-11, square
room, the walls festooned with slogans and posters. I had a handkerchief
and I tried to get off the black paint they had daubed me with as best I
could.
When I eventually crawled into that broken-down bed that night I felt
the most desolate and lonely man in the world. Oddly enough, I fell into
a deep sleep and didn't know anything until
six o'clock, the following morning.
Breakfast was brought at 10 o'clock, and consisted of two slices of dry
bread and a little bit of scrambled egg and black coffee,
Lunch consisted of vege- tables, a bowl of soup and dry bread, There was
no butter, no milk, cheese of fruit, and meat only once a day in the
evenings.
For three months I lived
in that awful little room. I was never allowed out and I was never given
any exercise. I could ro into the wash- room, and the only way I could
get any exercise was to walk from my uny cell up to the bath in the
washroom. I could make exactly 8) paces that way and this was the only
exercise I Was ever allowed to take for three months.
DURING TRIS TIME I exer- started doing yoga elses twice a day on a blan-
ket stretched out
the atone floor. It was of tre- mendous value in helping me to keep a
calm mind la
תם
This was the first oppor- tunity I had to defy them in any way and I
simply stood with my hands on my hips looking levelly at them, I refused
to bow my head voluntarily although I don't mind admitting I was trem-
bling a little bit and wonder- . a altuation where I some- ing what was
going to happen.
Or
I do not regard myself as
terribly brave man wildly patriotic. I love my country and I respect the
Queen, but I was determined
+
·
times felt on the verge of panic.
Living in these conditions it was not surprising that I fell ill with a
stomach con- dition.
The guards summoned a doctor and from that point on the food
improved-not through any sense of com- passion on the part of my
captors, I'm sure, but on the
simple precept that a dead
* hostage is no good to any-
one.
Suddenly, on November 3,
1967. the "Representatives of the Master
+
came and
afterwards I was moved into
a room 12-ft, squara,. <
4
T
pi
о
4
5
•-•CONTID
·
The floor was bare and at eye-level in front of me was a Binckboard
balanced on two chairs on which slogans had been written threaten- Ing
all imperialists. The
miy other furniture was A- Angie bed and a small table.
Soon after this I was allowed to exercise in the courtyard for the first
time. It was an improvement and helped to lift my spirits a Utile.
But perhaps the most diabolical feature of my treatment was the way in
which my guards played cal-and-mouse with me oper letters.
They seemed to take a positive delight in torturing ma by holding back
letters which I knew had arrived for me.
Between November 17 to Christmas, 1967, I received NO letters at all-yet
I knew that my mother was writing regularly.
En nine months I had only two letters, both from my mother. She had
written many more.
ICED-UPS
In May, 1963, I asked them if I could write letters my- self. After due
deliberation they came back and sald grandly that they would 210w me to
write ONE letter only per month to
my mother or wife."
was told that it I wrote a latter it would be taken to the Foreign
Ministry and peruss by them before I would be allowed to send it. . It
was taking anything up
to six or eight weeks for my Letters to reach home,
By the same token the delivery of letters to me was becoming more and
more infrequent It was clear to me that the hold-up was occurring not
only, in the Chinese Foreign Ministry where they were read, but in my
own house.
Sometimes I would ba walking back and forth to my room from the exercise
yard and i would see my letters lying on the table in a room occupied by
guarda.
One day when, I was actually walking in the yard. I
the paper come through a silt in the outside door. The paper and two
letters fell down right in front of my very oyoL, could nes that one
esme from * Canadian COTTO- spondent friend in East Berlin.
The guard came running
Cutting dated
THE PEOPLE
19 OCT 1959
19
out of the house when he NEXT WEEK
saw what had happened and picked up the letters and, in a pathetle sort
of way, tried
to hide them inside the newspaper.
I never did see that letter, What I could never understand was the unte-
lenting hostility of the guards towards me. Take the
revolting "Pervert Jaw." He was a repulsive creature to look at, with
narrow eyes and a vast jutting jaw and gaping lower lip. Nobody can help
his appearance, but his behaviour was inex- cusable.
He and his companions occupied my dining-room. Some of them slept there
on camp beds.
But they were able to watch me through the door of my 12-foot room which
always had to be left open. The door on the other side of the room,
which led to the washroom, also had to be left open so that they could
watch me.
Whenever I moved I wAL under their hostile, malero- lent glare.
And Pervert Jaw was one of the most hostile of all He never displayed
any- thing but contempt and hostility towards me.
HADITS
He had some unpleasant personal habits and seemed to take great pleasure
in annoying me with them.
He was always hawking and spitting in the most dis- gusting manner, as
all the guards did in the adjoining room. They had a spitoon on the
floor by my cocktail cabinet and they used it continually.
BY CONTRAST, the tall guard I nicknamed Peking Man was a great lumbering
lout He wore big, heavy boots and clumped around the house like an
elephant.
He had an unnerving effect on me because I felt that he had an abnormal
look in his eye. When he was on duty during my exercise period in the
yard he would stare at me in a peculiar way.
Then, suddenly, without warning he would lash out with a tremendous kick
try- ing to reach the palm of his right hand, which was ex- tended just
above his head rather
can-can dancer. Quite inexplicable.
It was a crazy altuation. but there was nothing I could do. They were
deter- mined to be "bloody-ininded..
How I staged races
with my ants to keep my sanity.
The secrets 1 re- corded in my hid- den diaries.
✪ How
How CAN
CAN anyone
survive two years of solitary confine- ment?
O First days of freedom, and Anthony Grey makes a sentimental visit
(right) to the British mission in Peking, burnt out at the height of
China's anti- Brijala campaign when he Was arrested.
What the Red Guards did (left) to the mission at the time of the Midāle
East war in 1967. Im- perialist Agures hang all around while clay
effigies of President Johnson, xa Israeli politician zad Moshe Dayan as
"the one- syed dog of imperialism TM ara roped together in front,
+
P
THE PEOPLE
26 OCT 1969
PORTRAIT OF A PRISONER
Anthony Grey's
astonishing account of
HOW I STOPPED
+
The utter loneliness of total isolation was Grey's worst torment, He
fought it by hold- ing
conversations
with himself in the mirror. (He's pictured here reconstructing the
scana).
MYSELF GOING MAD'
Free after 26 months' house arrest by the Chinese Communists in Peking,
British jour- nalist Authony Grey, 31, reveals exclusively to The People
the secrets of the special kind of "Chinese tortura" he endured,
I KNOW that people who talk to them- solves are often considered to be
in the first stages of mental decay.
L
But at the height of my 26 months of crushing isolation and loneliness
as The Prisoner of Peking I decided that if I was to preserve my mind
and sanity I simply had to talk to someone
even if it was only myself!
It may sound ridiculous now, but I say in all sincerity that convers2-
tions with myself played a vital role in helping ma to KEMP my sealty.
Indeed. I became a rogu- Jaz Pater Sellers during those weany months of
de- tention in a drab, 12-foot- square
which Chinese blandly described to the world as my home."
19002
H
For not only did I chat to myself, but I conducted the Conversations in
a variety different sccents, which may not hava tion up to the Seller's
mandard of mimi- CIY. out which certainly helped to relieve the mind-
mumsung boredom and frus- texta of my detention.
One minute I was a fast- MAL: BA End Cockney, the next a typical
Sellers- tana Azmian immigrant. At Güler times I became vociferous
Irishman.
PEOPLE
P
sign language, and even this limited contact
dis couraged as much as possible.
Was
For a long time the only newspaper I was allowed was the People's Daily,
the official party newspaper, printed of › course in Chinese,
Nalled up
For the first 23 months I was confined in a tiny, sight- foot square
room on the lower floor of my house in Peking.
All the windows were nalled up to prevent them
opening, and practically all the panes of glass were painted black to
exclude the light of day. The only view I had was into the grey
high-wailed courtyard.
T had to sit an my bad and
In this terrifying predica- ment I had to apply myself
to one all-important task: the question of survival.
I had to consider how I
· could preserve mind and sanity in the face of appal- ling and mounting
mental pressures.
! Of course, there was DO precise point in my captivity
where I said: "Right, I wil now start to talk to myself." I think it all
happened naturally if that is the right word as part of my determined
campaign fight
back
-
to
against the
various pressures which the Chinese sought to impose On 148.
I decided that at all costs I had to devise methods of occupying my
mind, other- Wise I would be in real danger of losing my sanity.
I think my conversalons with myself really started in the washroom one
day when I caught sight of my resoc- tion in the mirror. My face was
pale and drawn and I was wearing an awful old Jacket.
I peered closely into the mirror and I said: "You are an extremely
bizarre-looking character, Grey."
After that I became in creasingly talkative with myself, employing a
variety of accents which I strove to perfect as the weeks went
wold exclusive take my food off the only 1 by
If you think this sounds odd, please try to unday- stand my conditions.
It is difficult, even for Journailst like myself, to ex- plain the teal
horror of my situation. It was nothing less than solitary confine- Isent
For more than two years I was completely and uttedly alone.
I was totally cut off from
outside world and rounded by a group of sta ing, hate-alled guards who
were living in my house, sleeping in my rooms and wing my furniture.
They spoke no English and I spoke no Chinese.
I had to make my wishes known through my cook, who Just knew a few words
of Beglish. On most occasiona I had to communicate by
chair in the room. Although I had the use of an adjoining washroom it
was impossible to take a bath because the Red Guards who invaded my
house on August 18, 1957, had painted the sides of the bath and the
paint had run down and collected in the bottom.
Later I was moved to larger room it actually it actually measured 12
feet square!
BUT the greatest misery of my plight was the Way
Information was deliberately
甘身 kept from
In this situation, cut off from the ontside world, my mind was
constantly plagued by nag- clas
of thoughts
what MIGHT happen to me.
Would the Chinese put ma on trial as a spy? Would I eventuzily be
sentenced to a long term of imprisonment? I had no means of knowing
Altad 100.
I
Sometimes I even spoke to myself in French and Ger- man... anything to
intro- duce a littlo novelty and change into my drab life.
But my most entertaining exchanges undoubtedly took
place in the washroom when I stared into the mirror and addressed mysel
variety of matters.
I took considerable pleasure in imitating the masty and highly omcious
interpreter who called on me shority before I received the three
consular visits from the British Mission.
گو هستم
F
Astomsion
THE PEOPLE
Cutting dated.. Problox
I knew that the crushing disappointments which would come to me as each
I would stand stiffly to attention in front of the Butter, screw up my
eyes and in a heavily decentest [ week pissed with successive
You I would address my-
thus:
Grey, I am instructed to tell you that at 4 o'clock today you will
receive a visit from two officials of the British Charge d'Affaires
ofice... You must abide by the following regulations regulations
etc., etc.
It was pure goonery on my part and I enjoyed every minate of A
I took care to ensure that the guards could not over- hear these littla
tête-à-têtes otherwise they might have thought I really had gone round
the bend.
Later, I came to regard my talks with myself as a kid of enjoyabis
mental therapy. Not only did they occupy my mind, but I WAS able to
amuse myself by in- duiging in my liking for mlastery.
It is difficult to remember actual conversations, but I recall that I
used to tell Jokes to myself in specifc accents.
And I often drew alderable comfort from re citing the Lord's Prayer in
abroad Irish brogue.
I had heard Irish priests Catholle saying it in churches in Britain and
I' had always enjoyed the rich
Âm their voices.
ITEK A -----
in my loan detention came
the last two months of CEST-Ava months site: being placed under house
artest.
By then I had to face up to the Awdi pealantion.
+
hupes dashed would have
been too much for me to
bear.
26 OCT 1969
So I reasoned with myself that my hopes would have to be projected very
much Into the future on a long- term basis, in that way I might be able
to survive.
The immediate problem was to occupy my mind in some meaningful way. But
what can a man do when he la conôned to an area 12-ft. square?
For instance, I received a daily newspaper which, at
that point in time, I couldn't possibly read bar a. faw well-known
Chinese characters. But there were
other uses to which I could| put the People's Daily, which Js regarded
by Chinese Communists something akin to holy writ
I had a pair of nail scis-. sors, and by judicious fold- ing and cutting
of the paper, I was able to turn th People's Daily into a string of
paper dollies!
It was a pastime which amused and occupied me for a time. Had the guards
dis- covered what I was doing they would have been out- raged a thought
which cava an added relish to the whole enterprise.
-
It was Httle things like this that helped me combat my oppressive
condnemanu
FLI
most artista enterprise
the nude jzmate figura which attempted to carve out of a bar of soap/
I
I used a mall Ale si a tool, and I spent endless kouts Hylang to perfect
a Sump & delocatie 22present
The terrible emptiness of each succeeding day impres- sed itself deeply
on my mind. From waking to sleeping there 14:25 absolutely mothing for
ma to do except listen to the guards singing, catchy Httle numbers like
East 1 Red" chanting Mao slogans.
I felt clone and aban- doned and for the first time I began to wowy
endously about the effect it would have on my mental Erabilty.
I passed through moments Ge netp-despilt when I really began to fear
that I might never ses my home, family and friends again.
Ly Zabruary, 1908, I had roused myself and forced myself to fight back.
I realised that I would have to reappraise my whole straleny and outlook
if I was going to survive mentally. To co on hoping that my petcase was
about to be granted in a few days of even a few weeks would have
resulted in emotional
female
of
My Arst attempt to sculpt went extremely well until I reached the lady's
posterior. I was so absorbed in producing what I thought was going to be
a particu- iarly splendid bottom that I accidentally broke off one of
"bar jega.
Comoarmed
19
It is strange how men under stress can derive in- spiration and comfort
from the most unlikely sources. If King Robert the Bruce had his spider
in the cave, then I at least had my ants in the "cell."
I fest spotted them drag- ging the wing of a dead moth across the noor.
My Arst reaction on seeing all these ants was to stand on them and kill
them. But then I realised that these were the only other living
creatures in my drab and miserable room, 60 why should I kill them?
Here was a source of in- terest which I could use to divert my mind from
the misery of my plight.
I noticed that when I had
my breakfast of dried bread and scrambled egg the ants were particularly
interested in the crumbs which fell from my table-or rather the chair
which served as my table.
It occurred to me that by using breadcrumbs ar balt it would be possible
to stage my own ant races. So I lined up breadcrumbs at equal distances
from the ant hole and stood back to watch the dash for the bread.
Thus, the first Peking Ant Derby was born.
+
I found it an absorbing and fascinating diversioa. i took a great
interest in the behaviour of the ants. Some Teze extremely fast and even
in avoiding obstacles on their way to the bread. others were plain
stupid.
Each morning I carefully placed three, four or half
! dozen specks of bread in a | Ane half-way across the cell
and waited.
Deliberato
The ants came sourn from their hole in the cor- ner, their movements
quick and deliberate. They soon came upon the breadcrumbs and started
making tracks for home with them
I used to make mental bets on them and became totally absorbed by their
progress.
One day I would perhaps put my money. Aguratively speaking, on, may, Ant
No. 1, larly fast and At. Even so, who seemed to be particu-
I would become annoyed with other runners" who kept dragging their
crumbs into a crevica,
"
I was quite concerned and I remember dashing off to haid ber under the
water- tap to effect runnlag repairs. Goodness knows what the
psychiatrists are going to
make of that, but for mel
I remember muttering to sculpturing in soap was just ona unheeding ant:
"If you another means of occupying don't show ■ little more my time and
I had plenty sense I shall probably ba of that
forced to kill you."
I kept this little gure in a jacket pocket until only * few weeks ago
when I re- discovered in. It reminded me so forcibly of the awful -
mental poverty of that time that I broke it up and used it to wash my
sockal
In fact, I did once kill one, but was later filled with remorse.
I must admit that, suz- veyed from the comfort and security of one's own
home, this kind of behaviour can look strange and irrational.
!
But in the environment to which I had been thrust by my captors it was
absolutely vital that I found something to do.
ABOUT eight months after my arrest I started secretly to compile
crosswords an odd pleces of paper.
Unknown to my guards I had, in fact, managed stealthily to fish one of
my own ballpoint pens and, later, a pencil.
These were particu valuable to me and I safe- guarded them like precious
stones.
Scissors
I used them sparingly, be- cause I knew that my chances of getting
replace- ments were slim, and then it would be impossible to go On
keeping my secrat diary.
Even now I still have the remnants of the pencil which I sharpened down
to the last half-inch)
At this stage, the lead slipped back every time I put it to paper. But I
over- came this problem by push- ing the lead back with a pair of nail
scissors which I inserted into the other end of the penell
I had to keep the scissors there when I wrote-other- wise the last
precious hati- inch of lead slipped back into the pencil.
In my predicament even 2 half-inch of
of old p bepime treasured
El are OTE KOTLA extracts from Grey's diary: Nov. 11, 1967. 12.40 p.m.
Today the text anow tell, was only alight. Yesterday: was overjoyed to
get a
Chiao (the bo subterfuge due to his 1207
On November ↑ I didn't shave for the first time and today. after four
days, something of a stubble is apparent on my face. It can't yet be
called à . beard!
I have just read the English- language Peking Review-a long
· 20-page article by Lin Plao Chok No. 2) called "Long Live People's
War."
H
But how I long for news papers and books without Mao's quotations in
themi
The newspaper (The People's Daily) has begun to put Mao's quotations on
the front, and sometimes on every other page, with artistio mock-ups of
the aun's rays shining out of them to illustrate the slogan " Chair-
Iman Mao is the Great Red Sun in Our Hearts." It just gets orasler and
oranler.
H
Lafa la dat and quiet and I long for some amall en couragement. My mood
ja basically calm and my feelinga Waver between thinking-
(1) That the Chinesa MADE release me around the six-month mark or
textiga that they will tradition of
jeopardisa Internati between cou
Prou relations
野味
+
(10)
CONTIN
Ёсн
Feeling that the mora into the new 10-fi-square room. and the other
changed condi- vets only to make it per
have lost the power exeon things out clearly Chap 1 havn no informa- X
any kind.
how i long for newspapers and books and magazines above all else.
tour
I have been worrying bic about mother since setting only her second
letter months and that I can't get home to help her.
THE PEOPLE
Cutting dated ..
26 OCT 1959
ANY two words in A tight strained volco in answer to Hopson's inquiry-"
All right"
H
I was allowed only 20 minutės with them Ther SAYA MASY sages from home
and I used to tell them conditions.
Hopson said: "I can't tell pon that your release is just around the
comes, but the situation is
Improving
Although there is obviously no likelihood of release FOOD this viele has
encouraged me greatly. It was a and moment more. for me when they had to
leave, before Twenty minutes passed like a
dash today asking help from God that I be released.
prayed
rehemence than
ever
April 23, 1963. 1.15 p.m.
Today the nine-month spell · of isolation was broken] Donald Hopson
(British charge d'aukire) and John Waston
sited.
About 3.30 p.m. an interpreter entered my room and said: am instructed
to tell you that today, at 4 o'clock, two obicials of the onca of the
British charge d'afalzes will visit you'
Storing Mercely at ma ha in-
toded in cilpped and heavily sccented English the four in- structions
which I had to abide by.
They were: 1. You must tra standard English. 2. You must not exchange
any documents, letters or papers. 3. You must not record or take
photographs. 4. We reserve the right to ter- mitate the interview at any
I fall the last condition was uttered in such a way as to in- timidate
me during the vült
Thirty-dve minutes later I was led into what was once my dining-room and
in which the guards had been living.
It was nine months since I
had seen a friendly, non-Asian face. I heard the gate bell ring And I
stood up quietly from the chair into which I had been ordered, and
glanced through the window.
Hopson and John," I breathed to myself-I was in- mediately struck by the
fineness of thale suis as they stood talk- ing with the quarta just
inside the
This contrasted sharp:3 with drah Chiesse Mothing.
rsen Donald Hopsow's rich booming voice Wu saying: * How "äre you,
Tony?" as ha strode through the door and grasped my hand. John Weston
followed and grasped the other hand as the guards looked impassively.
This was the end of pine months of total isolation and a very emotional
moment for eventually managed to
1
+
*
June 20, 1968. 730 pum.
Sock-washing day! Another week "gone. Now on verge of 11-month
anniversary of detan- ttoo. Desperately want some encouragement and sign
of hope for release.
On the 18th a letter from Shirley which aid: "I hope wa will be together
very soon now." It was probably just wishful thinking on her part but
helps in a wAJ.
I am furious this afternoon about the ridiculous way in which the letter
to my mother is being hold up. Tomorrow it will be 18 days since I
handed it over to the guards to take to tha Poreign Ministry.
How bloody-minded that they should hold up such a simple letter for
which my mother la desperately waiting.
Cot, 1, 1968.
*
18.30 am,
As I write I can hear tha annual celebration of the Com- munist
take-over herà in China.
From the Tien An Men Square (Oste of Heavenly Peace) half a mile away I
can hear the voice of Lin Pião com ing across the rooftops by loud-
speaker. The crowds chanting the usual slogans. Very boring!
Nov. 28, 1968. 8 p.m.
This afternoon my second ONSHİAT VİRİK. It has dashed my hopes of
release that hava been bullding up for months TLÓW. I hardly know how to
chlak of the next few months, It was foolish to let my hopes go so high
The shock of he visic which clearly removes all hope of an early re-
loasa in a heavy blow,
+ · ■
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