1950-02-18 — Page 4

S

Saturday Night...

by R. M. MacCOLL

NATURDAY NIGHT in Paris? Plek where you the names will; you know

went

into

"Sweet

fis, still, alas, worn, depleted a lobster wearing a monoclo and smoking a cigar.

They in lights as well as I do. For Georgia Brown" and then "Sun- my Saturday night I set out day Down in Caroline," and the to try to recapture my lost centro of Interest switched

the buttonhole-sized danco youth.

floor, where an agile and hand- come young man, wearing blue slacks, was adroitly jitterbugging with

I used to be a jazz flend. No body, except myself, was at all happy about this circumstance in the part of Hampstead in which we lived.

My-trap drum ret (complete with a Chinese "crash cymbal" which would have brought Mao Tse-tung himself a-running) nearly drove my parents out of their minds.

The years rolled by, and MacColl exchanged the drum- alicka for the typewriter keys. Surely, he was destined never again to re-enter the rosy portals of jazz-land, ex- his cept. in

lavendered & memorica? Not

BO,

At a cocktail

paris not long

DRO

I

chanced

do remtak nos- talgically to an American acquaintance that it was a pity that band-leaders no longer juggled with their saxu

played phones

as they CYCH them.

My American friend caid: that "You

Baptise, know, I Parin is today the acknowledgevi world

headquarters of jazz?"

to

curvaceous Cirl who wore a low-cut black blouse,

Q

long golden pendant, and close-fitting trews of the Gordon turlan. There two were very and scerned accomplished, virtually tireless.

The proprietor stormed up once again. "Jumping joint, nes, Grabbed by no?" he crowed.

an elusive elbow as he sped on his way, he paused long enough to explain that the girl in the Gordon trews was "one of the best-known models in Paris Arlette the toast of all---she pursues e jitter in order to keep her weight in the reason- abte distribution,"

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH SATURDAY, FEBRUARY, 18, 1950.

"This ought to be good for a new pair of skates each if we don't tell Mum.”

-(London Express Serules)

ESCAPE FROM MUDSLINGING

articles in

with

"No," he said, just as people "come

By BERNARD do in the story books.

FIVE MINUTES EACH WEEK-END WITH THE WORLD'S WITTIEST MEN,

SWIFT

JONATHAN SWIFT (1867-1745) was born and died in Dublin. A prolide writer of polamies and satires, he is best remembered for, "Gulliver's Travels." This book, originally a bliler indictment of social customs and of the whole human race, has became, in its abridged and exporgated form,

classic of the nursery.

Ho lospired the love of two women: Eather Johnson, the Biella of his "Journal to Stella,” and Esther Fantomrigh, the Vanessa of his poem Vanese and Cadenus" Stella he is believed to have secretly married.

In 1713 he was appointed to the deanery of SL Patrick's, Dublin,' In 1740 his brain WRI affected, and he never recovered.

Dr. Johnsen said of him t "Ho hadA countenance' waur and severe, which he seldom softened by any appearance of galety. He slub- bornly resisted any tendency to laughter." Is wit does not provoke laughter in others—it has foo sharp an edge.

REFLECTIONS

THE LATTER part of a man's SOME PEOPLE take more life is taken up in curing the and faiso caro to hide their follies, prejudices,

opinions he bad contracted in wisdom than their folly. the former.

WHEN a true genius appears OLD MEN view. bent at a dis-

iho eyes

of their In the world you may know him tance with by this sign, that all the durices understanding as well as with are in confederacy against him. those of nature.

LAWS aro liko cobwebs, EVERY MAN desires to live which

may catch anal les, long; but no man would be old. but let wasps and hornets break Through.

PREJUDICE AND OPINION

SOME MEN, under the notion

weeding

-out prejudices,.

honesty, and eradicate virtue, religion

THERE La nothing in this world constant but inconstancy, of

THE MOST positive men are the most credulous,

IF A MAN would register all hils opinions upon love, pollues, religion, learning etc., begin- lag from his youth and so go on to old age, what a bundle of controale-

FEW ARE qualified to shine in company; but it is in most men's power to be agreeable.

PARTY is the madness of the mony for the gain of the few.

A WISE MAN la never less inconsistencies and alone than when he is alone. tions would appear at last.

METHOD

A NICE good in

naty ideas. things. Order почегля the nasty

IF ANOTHER man's taron world,

The devil is the author

becomes my convinseth me, it of confusion. Hated by fools, and fools to hate own reason. Be-that my moita and diy fate, RELIGION

I said I had heard such a report. I ant about to go to Cairo for are, I'm going to do just the children In our charge: Norway deemse the babies Jump about A few minutes after he told me to make us love one another.

but accepted

reserve.

it

with some

He said he would demonstrate, one o'clock the next and so morning found us repairing to a considerably vibrating bookshop. St. the Boulevard oft juot Germain.

And why did this bookshop vibrate?

Because, impishly enough, It is a bar as well as a short bookshop, and down

tlight of stairs in a minuscule cellor a jazz band was going full binst.

We made our way down intu the cellar. Someone I look to. be the proprietor churged up and exelaimel: "Ze joint, she is jumping, no?"

[rews,

summer

The first is a guard on the but hardly ever catch any

informed

to you because I am an old man and I don't want the secret to die with me. I learned it nearly fifty years ago from a prisoner,

Or travelling In buses trains when I was in the Natal Poller. the man was shot dead trying to inside so much.

Looking forward to another escape. yours sincerely,

all

I NEVER wonder to see men

MAN is a man of

nounce him to be mistaken.

FLASHES

A

The young man he was vague about, so we asked him over for a drink. He sighingly sank on

the Daily S there's sure to be a your and Juice with double in, to cool, accepted a grapefruit

lot of mud-slinging Express every Saturday because

VIOLENT zeal for truth hath an hundred to one odds to-bo explained that he had learned

between now and the you are a very clever man,

It is really astonishing the WICKSTEED "le Jitter" with the American

ambition, or either petulancy, election, with everyone say family histories Ied Cross just after the wai.

we are told

WE have just enough reilgion pride. long journeys "A wonderful organisation,"

excellently ob "Nowing how awful other people during

THAT WAS I know

to make us hate, but not enough

served

any I, when I read COMPLAINT is the largest

whero he added with fervour.

Jast

passage in an author, sir month. And me only 20! opposite, and tell you about now that you went to

for your holiday

tribute Heaven receives, and his opinion agrees with mine. Vive le Itel Cross Americain two men who seem to me to and explored a

Glacier.

the sincerest part of our de- When wo differ, there, I pro- He shot back to lend renewed be rather decent chaps.

too, that you are mad

journey with your son, I am,, "To tell the truth I had so volion. Your upport to the Impatient Gordon

rallway who brought my boy of

publicity agent

Don't you think that's a nice little faith in the story at the

But now see them not ashamed.

HOW is it possible to expect There was a commotion at the fue from Bournemouth to Lon- nie that you first met your wife letter? There's not much wrong time that I never went to look wicked, but I often wonder to

THE PREACHING of divines that mankind will take advies door. The front parted to dis- don last week in his guard's van, in Norway, and fell in love with with the heart of this country for the gold myself.

not so much as Although I a complete her, and took her back to Eng- when you can open your mail in it keeps coming back and I can't close the Maestro himself, Louis

of yirtue, take warning?7 Armstrong on a stranger,

marry.

the morning ord and letters like Ket it out of my mind. I wake helps to preserve well-inclined when it will Eat Innd lo "Satchelmo"

ile sald that your

wife's

up at night, and think, 'Suppos-men in the course

but seldom or never reclaims

AMBITION often puts men that from railway guards. down and wrote me the follow grandmother is 91 and lives on

Ing it is true, supposing....

the vicious.

upon doing the meanest offices; nocturnal busman'a holiday,

After the statutory three coating fascinating letter:-

butions had been

...MEN AND WOMEN Dear Sir, Your son has the an Island where there's a bull

And that is how I come to

to climbing is performed in the have a little map with an X on

WHAT they do in Heaven we same posture sa creeping. of a good publicity and a waterfall. I have learned snipped off by makings

FRAISE in the I didn't pay are ignorant of; what they do

daughter of that you can cross the Norit

THE other fellow I was going it. He gave it me. and that when you arrive at

Trader Horn from Africa, who oral one that if I find the gold Newenstle they let the pas- sengers stay in bed till their breezed into the office the other we will go shares.

day breakfast is quite

to talk It is most

What with all the bills you interesting to these young strangers, and have to pay at this time of the I was feeling a bit low, often it

It lo

n good job that we do year. not know the familles they talk when in walked this old boy and about. I've

£9,000,000 worth of gold was hidden.

newspapers

ho

am

afterwards

Treasure

¥

fervent fans, Mrjagent, and told me I must read Sea in about 24 hours by bont, to tell you about is a sort of for it. The only bargain was an not we are told expressly, that present power.

Armstrong joln- ed us. He is ap-

jo prehensive

admirers who nddress him in the almost com- pletely incom The cellar was really tiny and

prehensible Jar- really crowded. Tobacco smoke

gon of the Jung

dense as a Thames-side

swlugster and the be-bopper. fog. Getting myself into a seat

behind a midget But when he discovered table was proche brightened.

were both ignorant of jargonese, ically miracle

He remarked: "This be-bop in Grab it when you can and hope for the best.

of surgery. BC- hind the band ju-jitsu stuff. the bricks of the

wall were paint. No accuracy."

ed the same ruby

Mr A. bent un car to the

red as the sweat- band. "Not bad, these boys,"

ers of the faith- he averred, ful.

"They're playing straight. But, oh, the

bu-

But

The band was engaged on boppers Them I can't take." "Sweet Sue,"

They

played All very Mood Indigo, rather well, but perhaps with- if confirmation is needed con- out that inspired. tuuch for cerning the folly of rocking which we old-timers so wist-

fully pine.

The cellist had discarded his tie and was playing a Byronic- ally open-necked shirt-some thing which I wished the saxo- For his phonist would also do.

SATURD

one's lost youth-1 had it in plenty next day, after gelling to bed at 4 a.m.

Ze joints of MacColl—jumping, no? But yes, every last one of them.

(London Express Servico)

FATATHEID

The Littlehamptons Off To America By Osbert Lancastór

"In England, Mr. Flachen. bacher, we regard winning the game as rather less important than the spirit in which it is played."

SHOER

Story that hit the headlines

LAST night I got to gab-

bing with the manager

of an hotel on 46th Street.

"I wish you'd say something nice about Times Square in your column," he said.

"A lot

of

by Billy Rose

People think of Broadway as offered to let him bunk for Ouo big clip joint, but as you awhile on the couch in his sit and I know, it's a pretty decent ting room. street."

I

"So his first stop was a tallor, where he opened a chargo ne- count and rot himself some brand new clothes and his next a bar and grill, where he got himself a blondo who was not

Do new.

makes me keep. neither

IF A MAN they

are marry her Riven in marriage.

my distance, the comfort is, he VENUS,

beautiful good- keeps his at the same time.

CENSURE a lax a man public for being of Love: Juno, a terrible threw pays to the

VISION is the art of seeing. things invisible.

WIT AND SATIRE SATIRE is a cort of glasa, wherein beholders do generally face but discover everybody's

MEN are content to be laugh- ed at for their wit, but not for their folly.

Spot marked Xatured lady. was the Goddess I'VE never had a map before the Goddess of Marriage; and eminent.

they were always mortal with X marking the spot enemies. that daddy docses been told said he thought he knew where

The reason why so few mar- where the treasure is hidden. At live with us

least not since I was at school. riages are happy is because now. He lives with auntie, and

It fascinates me. One moment

spend their time wo have

People call on new daddy and have to call him "Uncle,"

with stories like that every day I tell myself the whole thing is young Indies Last month a youngster told of the week. Most of them are only a wild story, an interlude making nets, not in making afternoon, I HAVE known men of great chap, who is in a dull January me he was going to relatives mad. But this for Christmas So Пs to get about 70, has the lean, bronzed and the next I look at the little

LOVE of Battery in most men plenty to eat. His older brother look of the outdoors about him, map again and wonder. Sup-valour cowards to their wives.

talked the dull posing, Just supposing....

proceeds from the mean opinion was in an approved school and and

Some day I shall have to go they have of themselves: in another brother would go, too, January day in the city became

women from the contrary. of to that spot in Africa marked X the sunlight bright with

AGE If he wasn't careful.

It is the only way to be quite Africa.

NO WISE man ever wished to be younger,

as he

I have come to the conclusion that no two children are alike Hls treasure was the fabulous sure that I'm not a millionaire.

in all the world. There are the inquisitive ones who ask ques- tions the whole time and want to wave your flag and blow your whistle. Some have to be coaxed into talking, and some can't be stopped.

What they know

Kruger miliona you may have heard about. When the British took over the Transvaal after the Boer War it is sold that tons of gold were missing from the President voults. Treasury

to have Kruger is supposed

fed to it lifeden before he Europe.

For fifty years people have THEIR knowledge of babies been hunting for it without suc

here was this Varies considerably. I've cess, and now been told they are going to re-vislior sitting at my desk, delak- latives because mummy is going ing office tea, and telling me to the doctor to buy me a baby the secret of its hiding place. It brother or sister. They don't was a story of sudden death,

convicts, to be

murdered know which it's going

hot scaped

wagons yet, because it depends on what natives, and bullock the doctor's got in stock. Your trekking at night so as to avoid son, I may say, is better in the British scouts.

formed on these matters, and v At the end of it I said: "Well told me that ladies who are what do you want me to do? going to have babies don't like Pay your fare bacit to Africa?!!

Drunk For A Penny, Dead Drunk For 2d

By J. W. TAYLOR.

"By the time the old man was ready to come home, Buckley was in hock for several thousand dollars and scared stiff. Finally, "Well, the pair hit it off right he went to see our hotel house start. The young doctor-a smart fellow who has "I'd like to oblige," I said, from the

around Broadway was Quent been

for a lawyer his name south, or pula. We were Buckley-eemed sincerely fond long time and told him what he THE holding in England adulterated with sall or resin to during this month of bring on a thirst and a con graphs, not puffs, However,

coction often containing ginger, can always use a good human of Mr Bennett and anxious to had done.

The

doctor said he of course the Annual Licensing Ses- pepper and spices for flavouring Interest story about one of your do anything he could do to

make life easier for him.

didn't know what the old gentle. Bions-in some places they instead of hops, Cuesta

"In fact, after a few months. man would do about the bills, still retain the old name of "To tell the truth," said the

was Mr Bennett gave him a power but he advised him not to delay manager whose name Charlie "most of our guests of attorney and let him handle any longer in spilling the news

have his bank account and any legal about the inheritance. are in and out before we a chance to get acquainted with matters that came up.

W.

"One night about a year later

the

in

old gent had heart attack,

46TX/ELI, said the hotel man, ♫ hospital; but would be right some adrenalin handy..

Mr Benncit

"

",

or

Brewster Sessions-recalls The first licensing court of that control of "The Trade" two Justices was introduced by Edward VI. It regulated the dates back several centuries number of houses in an area, to the days of the "brew- and met quarterly to grant or them. The only ones we get to know are those who stay on a

Mr and while he was resting at the

E sold he didn't think it ster, a female brewer or cancel licences according to the while-fellows liko old

Polyclinic Hospital, Buckley H

who supplied way houses had been conducted. Licensees who permitted gaming Bennett, for instance, And

call from

would hurt his heart any. "ald wife," an attorney Kot a

were fined, Imprisoned speaking of Me Bennett-"

whipped. "I'm all cars and notebook," downtown who said he had im- but to make sure, he'd meet them most of the drinks in Bri-

portant business to discuss with in the coffee shop when the old tain. I sald,

Bennett.

man got back to the hotel, and if Mr

Some time before the refor- There was much drunkenness The young man said he was there was any trouble be'd have

the 17th Century, despite "The next day the three men mation only two kinds of ale in

was called "strong" and the They fixed closing hours and When he arrived, he learned ret in the restaurant, and after were permitted to be made. One numerous Acts passed against it. for years

during a bit of chit-chat, Buckley asked other "double," which usually prohibited drinking In had one of our sulies on the hat Mr Bennett's brother

church service hours. One house fourteenth floor, and except for Canada had died and left him. Mr Bennett what he would say meant, however, not double-

if he told him he had fallen heir strength, but only a double in every four sold gin, and for when he got in and out of the almost a million dollars..

to a lion dollars,

quantity of water. This was a penny a man could get drunk elevators wel hardly ever

"His first impulse, of course,

snid, man grinned was to rush to tho hospital with

In 1828 of the the strong.

the Introduc- "About all we knew of him the now, but he was afraid the Quent, if you told me I had in-sold at exactly half the price of and for wus that he had bad heart, old man's heart might not stand herited a million dollars, de you

Hogarth portrayed the brews- ilon of another to enable persons and that be used to spend part up under the excitement so he know what I'd say? I'd

ters as no beaution. Certainly of good character.. to sell beer walk back to the half of it to you 2011, every afternoon feeding decided to

I sald

their close practices were no only without Reence was an at- cracked corn to the pigeons hotel and mull things over.

shining example to the "trade," tempt to check the ravages around Father Duffy's state. Well, on the way ho got to Charlie, "but I wish it had a

stronger finish."

palaces," but it merely. One day, while Mr Bennett looking in store windows and

The hotel mon reached into his and many of them were ducked

increased

the number of In the nearest stream for their nice

of beer Jater was feeding the pigeons, he got thinking how

questionable trading, until Qual houses. About Afty years talking with a young fellow who there were to buy in New York, desk and brought out a news-

ly they were put out of business public houses were stopped from had recently graduated from and since he felt sure Mr Ben- paper clipping.

The headline read, "Lawyer by the advent of the Brewster trading the clock round, and in Columbia Law School.

nett was going to pay him well

Drops Dead in Midtown Sesalons consequent upon 'an 1898 It was an offence for a It seems the boy came from for handling the inheritance, be

Restaurant.".

Irate publie becoming tired of licenses to sell to a habitus! his home town, and when the old decided there wasn't any harm.

(Contd. on Page 13, Col. 4) -(London, Express Service) being given short measure, beer man found out he was broke he in anticipating part of his fee.

him.

of

BAW

"Good

and

to

Althouses Act and

The "dens drunk."

duc-

(London Express Service)

LOOSE

Loges.

& COMFORT.

FITTINGS

their own.

A VERY little wit is valued in h woman, as we are pleased with a few words apokon plain by a parrot.

-(London Exprets Service)

ARTE

NATURAL

FIT

FITTINGS

睢式

雪廠街七號 電話三四四二八

同不剪裁 異各挌體

7 ICE HOUSE ST.,"

TRE #34428