1949-04-27 — Page 4

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27, 1949.

URIENTAL

MEZZETNOMIONETI

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BEFORE YOUR EYES - IN 'A HIDDEN ISLAND IN THE PACIFIC!

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In

This opera A CLASSICAL CHINESE the Chinese version was written by Mr

of the Translator. ENGLISH! RE-ARRANG- It is one of the ED AND TRANSLATED word

OPERA IN MODERNS. T. Ma, brother

beat

that

Past

plays

produced during the By T. F. MA. ten years, and even now it is regarded GAY. FAST,oso very enjoyable production in the TUNEFUL, MUSICAL Chinese theatres,

WITH

**

COMEDY WITH PLENTY

OF LAUGHSI -

ADMISSIONS –

- $7,30, $4.70, $3.50 & $1:70

"OH, YEAH ?*

World Connight. 9 arrangement with Erening Standard.

Sitting on the Fence.... by

"W

said

the

are

ELL," Sweep, "ow you gittin along with the little old income tax man?"

arc

"Not very well," I said. "No more

moat people," said the Sweep, though you can't, properly apenkin, blame im." "Certainly not."

got to "The bloke you've blame is little old Cripps. And before im. little old Dalton. who was always laughin 'ead orf every time he give the screw another turn."

"Teo true."

'is

"The trouble with little old Cripps is that he's a vegetarian and a teetotaller."

"Go on?"

a

NATHANIEL

In this room a one-man effort, with little help or advice, with out tools except paper, pencil, and an ancient typewriter, has bought for the nation anything from a wig to a warplane, any

from a set of aruncial thing teeth to an aircraft-carrier.

GUBBINS

silly bells, and loses all volés, tou. Splendid.

I

Reluctantly, Gubbins puts is back on income tax and hopes Sir

won't Waldron Smithers think it has been done on oc- ders from the Kremln.

He also considers food sub- sidies.

an

No Income tax payer who is not also

imbecile can benents per- Imagine that he their sonally by food subaldies. He is obviously paying the food sub- sidies himself.

With 90 percent of barking of doggies of the map, most the cyclists walking, and plenty of his own money in his pocket for once, he feels pretty good.

Most of this has been He then starts on the liquor achieved through the payment trade. of Lixes on income earned, not

com- Under the new Gubbins Bud- by buying and selling modities produced by others, get, beers, wines, and spirits are but by selling, in a highly con almost given nwhy. Indeed. petitive market, the product of there la a moment when

thinks of subsiding them like bidder.

food, but thinks better of it.

A move like that

might easily increase the cost of the health services,

"No good ever came from, thene woolly mind to the highest likes of them. Cor strikte light, look at little old Iller."

"Look,"

"Always on the Adget inter ferin with people instend of

mindin enjoyin imself and own business,"

"That's right."

⭑

*

13

"And what's worse," said the Sweep. "If a man is appy with a lettuce sandwich and a cup of cocon he reckons everybody else ought to be the same."

"Quite right."

Which aint natural."

"It certainly aint."

"We can't all be perfect.", "Too true we can't"

All

the same," said the Sweep, "you aint as badly orf as some. I don't suppose you're payin nineteen and a tanner in the pound like Lady Mountbat- ten

"I certainly aint," I said, "So you won't ave to cut out all your social engagements like what she's a-doin of."

"I ope not."

*

*

"I suppose you'll still be in a. position to play a game of darts now and agin?"

"Maybe."

"Though after the next Bud-

The rest has been achieved through the payment of indirect taxation.

ho

and

The most amazing air liner mystery,

ALL KILLED: PLANE LOST BECAUSE SOMEONE PRESSED FIRE EXTINGUISHER BUTTONS

by

•

•

Group-Captain

H. S. L. DUNDAS, D.S.O., D.F.C.

THE Brabazon Committed any volume of methot bromide investigating the disap circulating in the cabin would pearance of two Avro Tudor cause the croo much distress air liners-Star Tiger on as to render them ineffective. January 30, 1948, and Star There are many who believe Ariel on January 17, 1949- that the Tudor disasters were is ready to submit its report caused by extraneous events to Lord Pakenham, Minister not directly connected with the of Civil Aviation.

planos themselves,

The findings of the com-- mittee will not be made public. They run into hun- dreds of pages.

As part of the commlitce's investigation a sister ship of the two Avro Tudors was taken to pieces and examined almost nut by nut, for this has been the most searching autopsy ever carried out on any plane suspected of potential structural failure.

But I understand that the committed has been unable to go bayond the realm of conjec- ture in suggesting what hap pened to the iwo air liners.

Both vanished over the Sor- casso Sea, north of the Baba-

mag.

every

How they were lost will almost certainly remain an un- solved mystery. Almost possible theory was tested.

A shallow dive.

During the committee's search one of the most extraor dinary stories in the history of air crashes was uncovered.

The only people who beneft are the wives of the income-tax

house payers, who get their keeping allowance tax free and

This concerned an American buy what little food there is

four-engined D.C.0 which lost available at subsidised prices,height in a shallow dive, while

and the lowest income groups. still apparently under control,

All aboard were killed.

of

So why not abolish food sub-ploughed through a series

a obstacles, and eventually piled sidies, let women demand bigger housekeeping allowance up on rising ground. (good luck to them) to-make up the difference, and give the lowest-income groups, including

As in the case of Star Tiger of pensioners, their basic

signals and Star Ariel no old-age

distress were received from the rations free?

This would cost far less than crew before the crash. Further, the plane appeared to be fly- food subsidies, be a great ad-Ing perfectly normally, apart vance in social justice, Increase from its gradual loss of height,

pensions, the value of old-age and give Sir Waldron Smithers The solution to the mystery a nervous breakdown,

was startling.

Although the woolly mind The tax on pipe tobacco and may not have a whole warplane cigarettes Is also slashed, (it doesn't want to exaggerate) the country begins to look itself or a whole alreraft-carrier, it again. feels that over the years it must have bought at least a couple of aircraft engines and at least one chase tax on furs and Jewel Give them more 4.5-inch gun in à destroyer.

To make up for it the pur-

of lery ia trebled, at the 1.5k: being called a Bolshevik by Sir Waldron Smithers.

HOW

An nutopsy

showed that every man, woman, and child 'on' became board the D.C. had can Chancellor Gubbins poisoned by carbon dioxide and pay for the vast health serwere all unconscious before the Cocoa swillers, who take all vices, let alone new cars for the crash killed them. brought the benefits of indirect taxation Coal Board, with Income tax Although it has not comfort to all-the-toothless-and-and-contribute-very-little-to-roduced 5s in the C? all the bald. It has borne more wards it, also come in for than an average share of the bashing. burden without even providing a badly needed wig for itself.

Therefore, the owner of the. woolly mind, your ever-loving uncle, feels he has as much right to plan a Budget as Sir Stafford Cripps, who, consider-. ing he is a teetotaller, probably

4

It is here that Gubbins comes to a full stop and begins to wonder.

Doubts

ns THERE must be such a thing avoiding taxation by

13

abstention.

doesn't contribute nearly much to the national revenue.

That is why your uncle is still

Gubbins himself has done it, up at midnight with pencil and

way paper, with all the world quiet though not.always in the but for the pounding of the sea, his smirking readers are think and even Lattle the devil cat Ing of at this moment. asleep at last in a chair.

get you might ave to cut it down Down with doggies

to once or twice a week."

"Probably."

"Which won't be much of an ardship na

good at

you never was any

"Thank you."

"And, after all, you can't ex pect to play darts every night and ave a free bottle of cough mixture as well." "Certainly no!"

mescit." Though personally said the Sweep, "I'd sooner. ave beer more duris and cheaper and buy me own cough mix- ture."

"Same cre."

"The skin orf your nose," said the Sweep.

The skin orf yourn,"

HANCELLOR

For years he has been turn-

He thinks of all kinds of silly things, like taxing women's hats off their heads and taxing lasting speeches after-dinner

more than a minute till sudden- ly the great truth hits him like a thunderbolt smacking into o vast lump of dough.

Nine vanish

4

Since December 5, 1945, nine planes have disappeared with- out trace into the Atlantic off the Fiorka coast.

with alc

And though the tremendous resources of the U.S. Navy and Constguards, together every available ship and craft, were employed in

not search.

ono plece wreckage, nor one of the people on board. has found.

the

of

103. been-

a

Again, in December 1945, whole flight of Ave US. Navy torpedo planes training in the arca disappeared. No gnal- was received, no wreckage was found.

WIE

A páról plane, with 13 men, sent to search for the missing flight. It also vanish- ed and left no lace,

A few days before Star Ariel' was lost a charter plane rhdia- ed its position as 60 miles from

of. or heard was never seen Miami and all well. The plane again, and 32 people disappear- ed with it.

Evidently, then, the Brabazon Committee had to consider not only nuts and balls, and air- craft stresses and strains; but other problems, too, more sinis ter and less tangible.

Are they perfect?

of

I do not know whether the Tudors have been declared 109 percent perfect as a result the material investigations. Im- perfections there may be, but I would like to see the plane which would not reveal Imper- fections when subjected to such microscopic examination.

to

Bet

in the absence of any. con- clusive explanation of the two

disastera it is hard air what decision the authorities other ihan could have made Quite probably many were that the Tudor air liners must dead before--the-plane--struck- remain-grounded... the ground.

Deadly gases

It was

proved, by examina- tion of the wreckage, that fre extinguishers in the freighthold had been set in action by some- Give the doctors and dentists

one pressing the buttons which more and more money. That's controlled the extinguishers.

the answer,

Deadly carbon dioxide gases, extinguishers, fred from the were carried by the pressuriza- for tion system into the cabin of

the liner.

wealthier,

Put them in a higher group,

lots of surtax.

make them

tax feel

and sock them

You will say yes, but you've

Opinions differed

选择

to

bo

ing down extra work because got to find the money in taxes whether the volume of carbon

naval to pay them more money. he thinks one 4.5-inch

that

dioxide released would gun is enough for one man to

But Chancellor Gubbins re-sufficient to have the catustro- GUBBINS'S buy for the Navy.

You payphic effect indicated by the nu- plies, no, you haven't. chiet dificulty is to reduce

Therefore, it seems likely them more money, but you take topsy. taxation while increasing the

dog-worshippers will it away from them. Cat-and-

Here was a doubt which was efficiency of the Navy, Army abstain altogether from dear mouse stuff.

settled in a typically American and Air Force, maintaining the

You will then argue, but manner. food subsidies and the health little doggies if each one is go-

Another D.C.6 was taken up some of it sticks, even the part with crew and passengers. The premises ing to cost them £1,000 n year. services, buying new and motor-cars for the Coal This would sult citizen Gub- that is taxed at 19s. Od. in the

extinguishers were operated, Board, knocking down half the bins fine, but not Chancellor £. You've got to find

and almost at once all those country and rebuilding it some-

sixpences in revenue. Gubbins,

on board who were not wear- where else, and keeping Sir Waldron Smithers quiel.

Under his Budget cyclists are. To which Chancellor Gubbins, ing gas masks became uncon-

walking. already

paying no replles. "Rubbish." When we've scious. taxes.

100,

extra

go! all the doctors in a higher Doctor's view

It is probably Chancellor

diffleully, Cripp's chief

Income group, their wives, who without any hope at all of Nobody but the biggest fool are not paying tax on the in- "Nothink like a nice pint for keeping Smithers quiet on Bud- in the country (and there can come, will nevertheless live up

There is a theory that the a neaty cough.

would get day.

be only one of him)

to it, and we shall get it back'

same thing could have occurred "Nothink.

Being, rather new to the job, clothe the silliest woman in the in purchase tax.

In the Tudors, though in thele That's ease the extinguishers are load- Gubbing begins by slashing the country (there can be only one standard rate of income tax by of her) with a fur coat costing. 58. in the £ and Increasing dog with triple purchase tax, sotne. Chancellor Gubbin's Idea of a ed not with carbon dioxide but

that Budget In, broad outline. If with methol bromide. thing like £100,000. So Chancellor Nat licences to £1,000

would be just one tax for just 'you don't like it, or you

Cripp think it's Bound, the one big fool.

austerity Budget will serve you Over to you, then, Crippsy

CHE clock struck midnight in

the old town hall

T

year. This, he knows, will lose him the votes of all dog worship- pers, but as he is not a member of Parliament he doesn't care. works

A light was burning in the top front window of the Sea Nesi, where your Uncle Nat for the Government.

NANCY

He also puls a heavy tax an cyclists, who are always missing him by Inches, ringing

Red-Ink Reply

NANCY SENT THIS NOTE TO YOU

DANK

HOURE

their

How about

our movie date,

tonight?

Well, there you are.

'Even 'cocon swillers, pressed right, too hard, might take to swilling

them

boy. water. It would serve right, but it wouldn't help the revenue.

TAKE DIS NOTE BACK TO

HER

RUBBER

STAMPS

don't

Here again opinions differ as

who to the probable effect, but a

Hurley Street doctor, servod, in the RAF, and who stronge has experience of the physiological effects that occur neronautics, tells me that

~~[London Express Sérvice) in

By Ernie Kushmiller

How about lour movie date tonight?

-(London Express Service)

-fgformation box- Fusiliers will have bayonets fixed

The Royal Fusiliers, City af London Regiment, now installed. at the Tower have will of London.

they

bayoneta fixed when march through the City on May 15, after a ceremonial parade.

With

the Grenadier Guards, the Buffs, the Royal Marines and the HAC, they share the right to cross the City with, bayonets fixed. drums beating and colours Bying.

Another regimental privi Jegeomecza. of the loyal Fusiliers do not drink the King's health in their own kalesi,

William IV. wan dining with the officers of the regi ment in the 1020s when the Royal Toast was proposed- on Army custom deriving from the Jacobite Rebellion (1716-45), when it was con sidered advisable that ameers should prove their to the House of

Wanover.

King William remarked that: the loyalty of the officers

Royal al the Fusiliers must always be beyond question, and it was Unnecessary, therefore, drink tha, toast.

The band of the

10

Royal

Fusiliers always play Rule the

Britannia

before

National Anthem.

Traditional reason: Abou

WAS tuna the year the written (1740), the regiment served in the Fleet B marines

Loxton Espresa Service.

FUNDS

bif

INSECT SPRAY

WITH DET

When there's bif Ineedn't use my fist!

SURE KILL

SOLEAGELES NAN KANG CO, UMANE MÃO NA.

INSUFFICIENT