1949-02-16 — Page 4

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ALDA KING · LORRE/

To-Morrow: "MIRACLE ON 34th STREET”

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1949.

"I think to call us 'Bloodthirsty rod-coated privileged-class fionds' is laying it on a bit thick, y'know."

Sitting on the

ELL.” said the Sweep,

"I see we're goin to be

all right by 1952.”

"Go on?" I said.

"And very nice, too"

"Very nice."

"Better than gittin worse or stayin na we are."

"Much better,"

"Though so far as me and you ore concerned," said the Sweep. "I reckon we shall just about ave. ad it by then."

"Speak for yourself," I said.

"We've ad two world wars with beer gittin weaker and dearer after cach.”

"That's right."

"And taxes gittin igher

igher."

"Too true."

and

"We've been on the ration 'for near on ten years."

the

"We ave."

"Aa il."

Fence

by NATHANIEL GUBBINS

"All the same, you don't want to start salvellin about nothink."

"I ain't suivellin,”

"What you want is to forgit all about it and ave one for the road."

"Thanks."

"The skin orf your nose," said the Sweep.

"The skin or yourn."

Diary of a worin

GULUSHED, exelted worm arrives

home late to say he and witly worm Iriends will volunteer to be Instructors in new Civil Defoner.

Oh, so this is worm's latest ex- cuse to leave wife alone, is it?

Not content with making foel of himself in Home Guard, when

NEW YORK CABLE-LETTER:

This Screen Hypnosis

By FREDERICK cook

NEW YORK. HOSE of us who live in America are now THOSE

face to face with the fact that, so far as this country is concerned, the television age is upon us. There are only about 900,000 sets in the en tire country, yet television is already having the most profound effects on home life, the show business, children and animals, travelling, having a tooth pulled-and the general prospects: of the populace retaining a semblance of sanity. In Greenwich Village, New York's palo imitation of the. Quartier Latin and of Chelsea, n church has had to put in a television set to keep the youngsters from spending their time in the local taverns, where the television is free...

In Brooklyn a restaurant has decided to close down every Tuesday from 8 to 9 p.m., and' has put a card in the window reading: "Dedicated?' to the Milton Berle television show."

On Sixth Avenue the owner of a bar has been arrested for permitting his 10-year-old son to sit close to the bar in order to see the television.

in the "The only real sickness ecuntry is in black market circles, where they make themselves ill with overcating."

"My husband says if the Ministry of Food really wanted to know tha market operators names of black they would only have to look at the doctors' case books."

☆

the

+

"The smaller place and the smaller the overheads, the moro they charge you for drinks."

"Brenda's husband's thinking of breaking windows so that he can get into prison to escape her awful, hold cooking." to

strain of new A.R.P., worm's health will break down and City employers will jump at opportunity to fire worm from office boy's job so that wife will never be able head up in Worm's-avenue proin,

Now you know ΤΗΣ

ΟΙ

"Of course,

that

1

In California land agents aro ́ad-" vertising sites not because they have a view, but because they are "ideally localed for television." In New- York no other can hire a baby- sitter unless she can prove that telr- vision is installed, and is in working order:

Teachers are alarmed because they fear children urt"fusing the reading habit, running their eyes by miting" hour after hour

over a flickering television screen. Sports promoters

Поск inter- complain that propic stadiums .no more. Why .should

see the game · they, when they can by their own freside?

Lending libraries are in the doll-

cannot

Anel rums. People

read watch television at the same time... One of Manhattan's top night clubs holds up its floor show now until the patrons have finished watching the Prize Aghts on the club's, television Get.

Husbands, any wives, are staying

But home more.

more meals than ever before are being ruined- either burned while the wife is, in the drawing-room looking at the ret herself, or left to go cold while the family gape at the programnuno and. forget the food...

Eve specialists report far more eyestrain cases. Living' rooms remain darkened night after night, and those who get tired of tela. vision try to read with insuffelent: light so as not to spoil the fun far- the rest.

"Margaret's father suys Instead of troops having field train- Int they will have cocktail party training for the alcoholle bomb war." "With my Income tax I should HE chief point made by a French-.

mna, M. Jean Bailbaghe, in think I have bought new dentures "The

Secret of the English," for every old-age pensioner in the penetrating but unusually friendly country." analysis of the English character,

if they nationalise is that our silences, our repression

emotions, our habit of under- hotels and pubs that will be the statement, and even our apparent end of the Government."

"Who's going to pay for every-can lack of enthusiasm over good food (if we can get it) is an unconscious thing when Stafford Cripps lins

effort

to taken und spent all our money?" but universal national

Buy alcohol "Margaret's father great our energies for

bombs will make war so enjoyable secret that people will be declaring war This, he believes, is the of "the miracle of 1940," and many on each other just for the fun of more miracles which have baffled it."

wooden- the Germans and other headed barbarians in the past.

"And then they ask you to save

he conserve money they've pinched from

Cor sufferin archbishops, makes you think, don't it?**

you.

"It certainly do."

t

"By the time you and me wako up on New Year's Day, 1952," sald the Sweep, "we shall ave been bled white by the tax collector and won't uve"no"money to buy any boer even- if it's cheaper."

"We certainly won't.”

"In faet." sald the Sweep, it's quite likely that we won't ave any money to buy extra rations, evETI it it's only another Canadian egg a week."

"Quite likely."

"I ain't reckonin on it,"

So far as them there credits are concerned," said the Sweep, "they're opin most of us wil die before we git

out, which is ighly vaid probable."

"Ighly probable." "And as most of those alive will

forms, they'll ave lost their credit

worm

hed to give up ally stripe because moments

blew

blin, men

raspberries at power-mad

now wants to show off in Civil Defence, lording it in low tavern wearing silly un- ond pouring money over form counter while cadging worn friends tell silly stories.

Wire wouldn't mind being._tett every evening in frozen pig-sly if pung, undersized worm didn't look such a fool in uniform and if puny, be wouldn't undersized worm loughing stock of Civil Defence.

ho

*

deal to

*

like

with

atom

*

Furniture-makers say more chairs are wanted, fewer sofas, since chairs

be grouped in

rows

wa and sofa New Industries are springing up parties spoll the view. all across the country, in the wake of the latest craze. All kinds of television gadgets are on the market; glasses that glow in the dark so that (Continued on Page 5)

TELLING TALES

...of the kind of world we live in

First Lond gomery were chatting about the choice of a o Commander-in-chief for Western

Europe."

flament-lype the electric light bulbs disappear for ever from the big city offices... and now even in the small towns of England a clerk has been heard, to to a typist: "Darling. I love say

under fluorescent you even lighting."

FIRM of furniture manufacturers

"Sir, wrote to a customer: Further to your esteemed order for 20 medium oak chairs, the Board of order and sanc- Trade halved the

loned only ten.

"Will you please submit a further order for 20 chairs, so that the Board

of Trade can halve this, and so give-

a

This must be why Englishmen hile their faces behind newspapers in trains, refusing to take part in exhausting ony conversation moro

"Mind than

the window open?" A WHILE ago Field-Marshal Mont-NE by one

the Pand "Not a why they never waste energy complaining about food worm had a restaurant, but pay the bill,

back; If puny, unders'zed

grimly out and never come commanding

доб presence

why they walk away from you or Conversation moved brisky, Moni-

nonsense manager, who could quell raspberry talk. bantering

if you

gomery warmed to his theme, "Because you needn't reckon on blowers with a look, and who, no

try

to engage them

in a tedious

What they need is a man of toubi, will soon be in charge Hittin your postwar credits."

d'scussion on politics

or any other

strategical

taclical und Civil Detence, area, apart controversial matter; why they hate proved whole from managing gas and being head kissing goodbye on railway stations, genius, a colourful personality, and. of Rotar rans, wife wouldn't mind and greet long absent friends they most important of all, an acknow being Teft

Had a

ledged lender of men." in lone, us the was left to deal love with "Hullo, you.

they prefer

nodded. "I enn time?"; why

The First Lord with H.Es and doodlebugs and

can't argue; vas alone.

to men because they

people they dis-offer you Mountbatten," he said, why they avo'd

cmo- As. It is, worm will spend three like rather than suffer the or four evenings weck with witty tional disturbance of

a quarrel; Italian family turned the attic

us the requisite number of chalra? A of their house in MILAN into e worm friends, trying to leam things why they hate anybody who is a

herd of never 'will

understand and

old lady

from London. They w

Suffolk cattle-famous QB' 0 spending paltry pittance In

little of her, but as winter came on

hornless breed-wanted an export licence to send some of them abroad.. Yet, according to M. Ballhache, and the thermometer dropped they day if she Wits com!-- and will probably catch death

our inquired one

It was granted "on condition that parade and cold, be absent from

our passions run higher and

more violent than fortable.

brasa, registration plates are attached fined £5, which would go towards emotions are

"No Londoner," the lady replied to the animals' horns." buying new curtains to replace the passions and emotions of any

hanging in

proudly, "expacts to be confortable threadbare raga now

other people on earth.

"KENSINGTON there is a man IN KENSING miserable hovel,

Watch out Lady Snapdragon. in wintertime."

his leg amputated ZAPOTOCKY, the Moreover, wife can see Civil De The bishop is not

Czech during the war. He was entitled to M⚫ Prime Minister, had a bright song ration, to he applied more reunion tence leading

as he seems. dinners.

promotion. He for the extra soap coupons, for personal storps carrying his portrait.

applied for more coupons. The And then he called at an offtec in official told him that he could have:

how they were them if he produced a certificate that Civil Defence

of column of threes it would take them selling. "Badly," old the man be his leg was still off. are not invited, instead

·WESTMINSTER wisecrack: The- going to Rotarian dinners, like gas an hour to march past ahy given hind the grille. "People say there's

no glue on them,"

over and stately homes of England now manngor, and entertaining ladies of point."

invented, n Zapotocky turned one "Margaret's father's Inner Wheel, with sherrien in bar

the National Coal: before soup is served and champagne now bomb to humanise war. It is licked it. There's plenty of glue house only Borstal boys, criminal la buckets of lee throughout meal. filled with alcohol, which atornises on this one," he growled. The antes- Lunatics, and

parts they don't spit on that side."

the first two. Moreover, as worm has neither when the bomb explodes and makes man Interrupted: "But round these Board. but there is always hope, for

constitution to stand your enemies happily tight." brains

ave a nice little nest CE# 10 go on taverns 'ke millionaire play 4 nuisance, disturbing their pence of small apartment and rented it to an NGHE FARMER with

feedin them there little old Germans for a few more years."

"They will an alt."

"Cor stone the crows, 1 reckon them there little old Germans must

be avin a laugh.”“

to

mind.

of

war

39

Indifferent

iden

Not content with Kaiser's Party conversation ardored a special issue. of postage When they were exhausted he

"see they're better fed than renton dinners, Home Guard re-

"I reckon they must.”

they ever was."

"That's right.".

"They're fifth, their sted · in- dustries back." .. "Yes."

"And now we're tryin to civilise 'them by showin them a bit of

English fox untin. Cor strike

娃

light, as if you could teach ther anythink now about blood sports,"

NANCY

Just Like That

DAT NEW BOY IS SO

BASHFUL

dinners, and club dinners,

gluttonous worm will soon be going "MY husband says if you formed

female relations in PRAGUE to see

union

10

wires

nor

dinners where

HE. REMINDS ME OF AN OSTRICH STICKING HIS HEAD IN THE

SAND

up his

By Ernie Bushmiller

YOU AIN'T

KIDDIN'

DON'T ITCH IT/

Fitch IT

SHAMPOO

EDLEAGENTS, NAN KANG CO......