1948-09-29 — Page 4

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1948.

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" ARTHUR RANK PRESENTS ***

*XIV th OLYMPIAD THE GLORY OF SPORT

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TWO MEN LIVED AND LOVED BEHIND THIS FACEL

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with

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A Universal-International Release

ALSO LATEST 20TH CENTURY-FOX MOVIETONE NEWS

Miss

Queen Wilhelmina Abdicates Throno! JULIANA SUCCEEDS

Hugo Berlin Rally Ends in Violonce America ....Dancing Champions at Harvest Moon Ball, otc., etc., etc.

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JUNGLES

GIRL

A RE-RELEASE

A METUHELO SERUNI EN 1SCRAP TUIS

COMMENCING TO-MORROW: THE JUNGLE GIRL” PART 2

"to view of these disappearing aircraft-il anyone asks you if they can borrow a couple of dostroyers, you will como and soo mo.”

Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:

It

Sitting

has been reported Bomewhere that anybody who looks cheerful during the present crisis is suN- pected of being a Com- munist.

This is the exact reverse of the position during the war, when anybody who looked miserable was con- sidered to he spreading alarm and despondency and suspected of being a Fifth Columnist,

So the correct behaviour Is to look as miserable as possible now and laugh like fool if war breaks out..

*

AUGI and the Com-

munists love you, Weep and you're pukka true blue,

For a smile on your dial is

proof that you're vile And a tool of the Polit-

bureau.

If Russians should march

to the westward Then lift up your hearts

and be glad. For the smopal on

your doyal, will prove that Hou're loyal And quite, though in-

curably, mad.

Your face will show which

side you favour So long as you know

which is which;

But if things should get

worse, go into reverse, You miserable son of a

blue pencil.

Pencil borrowed from Jack Warner.

Dialling TUM

"HULLO. Is that my stomach?"

"Your stomach speaking."

"How do you like our new drink?" "New drink?".

"Whisky and milk."

"it's better than sone you send down."

"It's supposed to be good for our

cout."

London Express Service

on the Fence

by NATHANIEL

GUBBINS

"No. When the whisky and milk time when worm and elever worn come down. they separate and the friends were saying Russians were mith curdles."

wonderful and drinking toasts to

Russian gallant

Army which wouldn't have lasted five minutes uninst litter without help from us und America.

"Curdles?" "Curdles. That means I have to deal with two things at once, the whacky and the curdled milk."

"It doesn't feel as bad as ali imt." "Sometimes I let you off rather lightly."

"Thanks,"

down

a basinful of canned musscis.”

"I felt all right afterwards." "Thanks to me, Regarding the whisky and milk, have you con- . sidered the dear Ittle kiddies?"

"No, why?"

.**IC

proper

THESE UBIQUITOUS GENTLEMEN

By MERRIMAN SMITH (United Press White House Reporter) COUPLE of quiat, alert men in plain business sulle A will be hovering somewhere in the vicinity of Governor Thomas E. Dewey of New York next Novem- ber 2.

It Dewey is elected President that day, the unobtrusive men will move without fanfare to his side. And from that moment on, whether he likes it or not, they won't let him far out of their sight until he l Balely in the White House next January 20.

The men will be Federal Secret Service agents, assigned by law to protect all Presidents and Presidents- elect of the United States,

Unless or until the ballot box returns next Novem- ber elevate Dewey from the status of a Presidential candidate to a President-elect, he will not be by Federal men.

guarded

The agents have absolutely no legal authority or duty to look out for the safety of candidates. They are therefore not at present concerned with the movements of Dewey, Henry A. Wallace or Socialist Norman Thomas,

candidate

On the other hand, the Secret Service will take elaborate precautions for any campaign trips President Truman may make. It is not the business of the Secret Service to decide when n' White House occupant is neling as Chief Executive, and when he is being n Presidential candidate.

DOUBLE DUTY

If Mr Truman is defeated this autumn, the job of the Secret Service will simply be doubled. Not only will it hover over the new President-elect; it will con- tinue to guard Mr Truman until the moment successor is inaugurated.

his

dinner with one glass of

prit and one cigar, and Third Pro- gramme afterwards.

solely

from

While the Secret Service will be concerned with Mr Truman now until November, Governor Dewey will not be unguarded in the meantime. He and his family are under the continual protection of u special detail of the New York. State Police Force, including both uniformed troopers and plain clothes

men.

who

It was some of the latter walked by his side at the Republi- can Convention In Philadelphia, giving rise to erroneous reports that

Service the Secret

already watching over him.

Was

The experience Dewey and his

wife family have had with the State

For a long time wife has thought that

worm brings home silly rumours on purpose so that

Into her will be worried though if worm bothered to newspapers properly worm would

grave, rend

Police shadows" will make 12 easier for them to grow accustomed to the ever-vigant attentions of the

this autumn,

Alany

see that but for noble lords wivesceret Service if he makes the grade would be got rid of much easier than that. But for noble lords, who are

American Presidents, in- gentlernen and not

dirty Com- cluding Mr Truman, have found It mists. worms could give wives difficult and annoying, particularly one dose of poison, knock them on at first, to have such ubiquitous and head, or drown them in bath with-efcient-guardians. out being hanged for it.

ir

worn

*

*

ARDUOUS SIDELINE

The Secret Service is a branch of the U.S. Treasury. Its main fob is to catch counterfeiters of U.S.

felt ke it, and he money. But its most important and probably does, worm could have put most arduous sideline, for many de- protecting Preal- one Intal dose of weedkiller in tades, has been

dents. All along wife has said Russians wife's morning cup of tea, spent a were even dirtier dogs than dirty, few years in prison, come out, and ingly trained agents do the job with Its carefully chosen and palristak- Germans, though of course worm married blonde barmaid, which, no found excuse for drinking Russians doubt, sex mad worm has always health when they were wonderful wanted to do. as he is now Anding excuse to drink because they are menace.

What-

a fervour that seems to be increased

rather than dampened when

the object of protection resents it and

"Like the time you sent

And, maybe, it wouldn't be a bad tries to slip away occasionally.

Thick-skinned by necessity, Secret whiskey and ginger ale followed by ever is happening in world worm idea if he did. If another war broke

Service men blondly disregard the will always make it an excuse for nut wife knows from experience

Equawks of a First drinking.

what would happen lo her.

She very natural

Family that doesn't

bo want to alone

atom with would be left

watched so closely. They go with bombs while worm was being heroic the President on his walks, sit tact- in low tavern favishly spending inlly near when he attends concerts. boy's salary 10 keep up and even walk his wife to church of course, wife wouldn't mind courage.

and his children to school.,

Secret worm coming home with scare talk And even if war doesn't break

Service men it worth were in know, like Bus out wife can only look forward to unrd persons other than the Prest-

It gas manager.

manager, who years of drudgery, years of making dent or President-elect, but they do se only out of courtesy and not by lunches every day at club with tip- do, years of working fingers to bone

law, Secret Service detalls were tops of Foreign Ofies, came home trying to keep pig-sty clean years assigned-to-watch-over-Madame and said another war was unavoid- of patching and washing old curtains Chiang Kai-shek of China and able he would be listened to with to hold up head in Worm's-avenue, Crown Princess Juliana of the respect; though, as matter of fact, till at last worm is sacked from Netherlands when they visited the gas manager never worries his wife slily Job any schoolboy could do U.S. during the war. But they did with silly rumours and pub gossip. better and they both end up in so at the express orders of the late

President Roosevelt. "I don't think the Ministry of but comes home at proper time, to gutter. Food would care to hear about it.”

ECCS

a shocking thing to send down whisky and milk when the milk is wanted by the dear little kiddies.”

"It's lucky they don't want the wlusky, 100. as there isn't enough tu go round."

"Blast the Ministry of Food. And. blast the dear Title kiddies, too. Stand by for a whisky and curdle."

"Breakfast canic doton ortly s little while ago."

AMERICAN COLUMN

ANGLAND pays a vilt to the tion of natural resources of

home of gangland movies. While African Negro Republle of Liberia.

watched a television

"Stand by for a double whisky three men and a double curdie."

"All right. Good-bye.” "Good-bye."

Diary of a worm

tavern

homo worms

arrives worm and says City depressed think another war unavoidable.

show in n shop off Hollywood's TWO YOUNG MEN asked Henry Sunset-boulevard, four men with

Verscharen. n Pittsburg grocer, shotguns entered, killed two and to help them push a car along the

they were out wounded the third, Michael Cohen, street, suying

of

n Hollywood sporting figure, who petrol. He pushed, then he called was in a backroom, said the bullets the pulce and had the men arrest- were meant for him. He did not ed. It was his own car. explain why. The police are hold-

•

•

*

sometimes

By Newell Rogers

SPORTS:

S

the jamin (Red) Stein. Their son, Milton Sheket, implicated with the the missing Stein, is to die In electric chair. If Stein turns up the prosecutor promises to ask for a reprieve for Sheitet, or commutation of the death sentence.. ...J. A. JOHNSON, a 22-year-old white man Was charged at Mount Vernon, Georgia, with murdering a Negro because he voted in an election. AFTER a couple of beers in lowing four ment.

Bobby FOUND: 103,770 bureaucrats whom

Riggs, CX- nobody hates; they are disabled

Wimbledon champion,

urges OOTLEGGING is increasing and ex-Servicemen who have rehabill- Britain to talte the lead in holding

high taxes are blamed-about tated themselves to win jobs

on open tennis tournaments to help de- Zs. 7d. qut of every 5s. spent on Uncle Sam's payroll.

velop a new crop of British cham- legal liquor goes for taxes.

plans. Citation, America's horse of PIN LON: Britain's air the year, displaces Assault as the cause arguments third biggest all-time money winner THE FIRST DUTY

Air with £102,037. schoolteachers who have arrived between the U.S. Navy and

were Force. If so many bombers "I thought the milk would absorb

millionaire worm felt obliged to to teach American youngsters will shot down trying to reach London TN SHORT....A BALLARD VALE

school. They musi the polson and leave you free of sounder fortune buying popularity 20.10 0.0

(Mass) man wants to sell a 1902. extra-heavy ing its power around

stcam car for £700....NEW with thirsty nobodies worm at least take a course on American school how can the air force justify build- "I didn't know that whisky was got value for money, even if it was

bombers? asks the navy, which YORK'S 21 Club put its frat 144 poison.

fly lighter wants to

ones from Scottish greuse on sale price £2 unfunny only nasty.

stories ON "Well, leave you free of acid. childish little Jokes But if worm

each a la carte...DANNY 8 Deputy Quartermaster-General carriers. The air fores replies: In 108, then "

wartime is going to mortgage paltry pittance in the

Middle East, muck air war it is impossible to tell KATE said: "Nothing would please I am never free of acld."

for months. ahead to hear Russians Major-General William W. Richards how many fighters the bombers shot me more than to go to London again ..for a stage show or to make a "I'm sorry about that. But are menace, wife could have told

.Baseball's BADE RUTH picture.". the British turing him that for nothing.

supplies for

RIME: A 'poor Brooklyn family willed 10 percent of his estate Army. Now the American Liberia the

"the interests borrowed £1 256 to offer as u te-

of the kida As matter of fact, wife was telling Company has hired him to do

of Ben America," worm Russláns ware menace At

their thing in

exploita ward for the arrest

"No drink but water is good for our gout."

"Well, then, not quite so bad for "

"Maybe."

acid."

"I

doesn't it help a little bit?"

"What?"

"Hullo, hullo. I say, doesn't help a little blt?"

It

Oh, so that's, how worm's been spending evening, is it? Pouring money byer bars while radging City know-all worms dispense gloom?

Wife always thought that. It

Er

This Is Different!

IMAGINE ME RUNNIN' FROM

NANCY

I JUST HAD A DREAM THAT

YOU WERE BEING CHASED

BY A BUTTERFLY

A BUTTERFLY

DAT'S A HOT ONE

life.

пр

of 70 British

manoeuvres

put the natives to work manufac down. *

Kame

*

•

By Ernie Bushmiller

DALD SPOTS!

Don't let this

happen to you!

START VЯING

Fuchs

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