1948-01-07 — Page 2

TO-DAY ONLY

in

KINGS

TECHNICOLOR

At 2.30, 5.15,

7.20 & 9.30 p.m

She's out of this world!'

COLUMBIA PICTURES prosenth Rita · Lavy · HAYWORTH-PARKS Down to Earth

MARC PLATE ROLAND CULVER-JAMES GLEASON EDWARD EVERETT HORTON - ADELE JERGENS GEORGE MARREADY WILLIAM FRAMLE

Directed by ALEXANDER HALL

A CON HARTMAN PRODUCTION

ALSO LATEST METRO-NEWS

To-morrow

She's That Scandalous

London Redhead Who Made

Love History?

All England whispered about the glamorous gutteralpe who mada a career out of love-end

became history's most indise creet Duchess

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 7, 1948.

THE NEW TORY GOVT AFTER ATTLEE'S RETIREMENT FINDS IT CAN'T HELP CARRYING ON THE SAME POLICY AS THE LABOUR GOVT. A PROPOSAL TO ABOLISH FOOD SUBSIDIES AND INSTITUTE-A POLITICAL POLICE TO CONTROL THE CONSEQUENT UNREST IS SHELVED.

Macmillan

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Witchell

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From That Daring

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SHOWING TO-DAY:

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Any man who kiss her is.

Anna NEAGLE Richard GREENE YELLOW CANA

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-Patates son deren vy HERBERT WILCOX

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MARG,PERTY LEYLLE DIALKE

Tahest and Bachat de VICTON LAVELE

.......... SIGHT IT Brian DONLEVY in

DON'T SAY IT

Yvonne D CARLO

"SONG OF SCHEHERAZADE “

IN TECHNICOLOR

A UNIVERSAL PICTURE

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FINAL

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"SPOTTED BUTTERFLY”

A CHINESE PICTURE

TO-MORROW

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CHARLES

R BOGERS presents PAUL

MUNI

ANNE....

BAXTER RAINS

CLAUDE

LEE THEATRE

Angel On my Shoulder

I thru United Artists.

THE STRANGE

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LOW'S ALMANACK

(Copyright in Ali Countries)

PROPHECIES. For 1943

Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:

Sitting

TODAY is the seventeenth

birthday of the column.

Although "sweet seventeen" would hardly describe the sour old thing it has become,. It can remember when it was gay and light-hearted, thumbing its nose at the world, cracking little jokes, and holding important people up to public ridicule.

When it was born, shy and timid,"

showers ol it was, greeted with

Insuliinit letters from all parts of the country, one of. Its first cor- respondents being the outspoken critic who always begins tils, letters "Dear Pig."

Except when the column was on holiday or was away kidding itself it had a nervous breakdown, "Dear Pig" has never missed a week in his unending stream of vituperation. Ho has never liked a single thing the column has written, Dever agreed with one of its opinions.

Even when he was bombed out during the war he staggered to the menrest post office still standing, grabbed a letter card, and wrote:-

"Dear Pig-My house kas pone, and your rotten article Lalth it--one of the worst I have ever read."

on the

Fence

by NATHANIEL

GUBBINS

With sileks of dynamite, Only a mother knows the bliss

"Of counting the Years by

things like this,

That week "Dear Pig," always u stout defender of women and kid- dies, threatened to come to the office with a horsewhip.

IT

Sea shantski

is interesting to recall, as duil have nothing interesting to recall. people always say when they that way back in the early thirties the column gave a little pre-wław of the gloom and taciturnity of the

Russian character which has been depressing everybody at the London conference.

At the time the Russian Govern- ment was trying to interest moujiks

party.

The usual charming old ladies were sitting about under the trees." Quick as a dog after a rabbit, the column dashed this off:-

First Old Lady: They took her inside out and put it back again. Second Old Ladu: Did what? First Old Lady: Took her inside out and put it back again.

Second Old Lady: What for? First Old Lady: She's got to have an inside, hasn't sho?

Second Old Lady: Who has? First Old Lady: The surgeon said she was lucky to be alive without

pancreas.

Second Old Lady: Without a what? First Old Lady! A PANCREAS. Curata: Strawberries and or an egg sandwich?

cream

The next week "Dear Pic" wrote

modelled

HUNGARY GIVES

JEWS FREEDOM

By DANIEL DE LUCE

Hungary, under Sovlet influence, appears to have guaranteed to 200,000 Jews' a freedom they never had before-freedom from fearl

Representative Jewish spokesman claim that the feverish urge to flee to Palestine, which grip- ped most of Eastern Europe's Jowry immediately after the war, has burned out in this country.

They assert that anti-Semitism among Hun- garian Christmas is more suppressed now than at any previous time in the twentieth Century.

In the huge tasks of peacetime reconstruc- tion, in which Hungary seems to be a paco-maker among Soviet-occupied states, many Jews have. risen to important posts.

A voteran diplomatlè observer, who is – a Gentile, phrased it this way: "Three classes have put this country amazingly back on its feet-the workers, the peasants and the Jews,”

ON THE EASTERN FRONT

The 200,000 Jews are the survivors of a community that numbered 500,000 when Admiral Miklos Horthy, now living in undisturbed occlu- sion in the American zone of Germany, throw in Hungary's lot with Hitler. The young man were pressed into labour battalions for the Eastern

It formed its own politic! party on the British Union of Fascists. It was called "A Sock on the Jaw party which was pledged

to sock anybody on the jaw who

Front. Tens of thousands of women, old men and children were shipped off to gas cham- bers by the Gestapo.. A few rich merchants. and indus- trialists were ransomed. Many Jews were slaughtered by Hun- garian "Arrow Cross" Party fanatics,

Profound psychological changes are apparent among their people since the end of the war, Jewish spokesmen say. They say it is likely that Jows

asked awkward or silly questions.. will be largely assimilated "Dear Pig" wrote in and called within the Christian population it an irresponsible hooligan.

in two more generations. Then the war,

5000 tame, and afterwards it Joined the Home

Two trends are obvious: Guard, With the H. G. it had a

wonderful time emptying whisky Mixed marriages are increns- Bottles at the golf club in the morning. A large proportion of the ing, filling them with oil in the after-young men in the army labour noon and using them as anti-tank force became Soviet war incendiary bombs in, the evening, prisoners and have gradually

Each week "Dear Pig" wrote in to say that as the column was ob- been released to return home. viously fool, it shouldn't be trusted Here, however, they have found with anything more dangerous than a relative dearth of Jowish a pea-shooter.

girls of marriageable age. So they wed Christians.

Animal correspondence

NE

Jewry in provincial villages is almost wiped out, Survivora tend to resettle in larger towns

NE of the few consolations the and particularly in Budapest, column ever hod for producing which has 160,000 Jews. Under itself among animals and birds, cosmopolitan influences, they proved, of course, by the correspon-observe less the orthodox dence received from them.

It has had letters from cows, forms of their religion. horses, llons, tigers, eagles, bears,

foxes, and skunks, and one from a rat, which asked indignantly why

SURVIVAL IN TOWNS

In the sea tradition. So the column, in to say laughing at old age was in sinking ship when it wasn't the ship of all

When he was il he called for pencil and paper and scrawled:

"Dear Pig,-! am feeling pretty bad, and no better for reading your muck. This week you have touched bottom." One week a telegram arrived: "Dear Pig, why don't you leave We only go to sea to die

always anxious to help, wrote it a "Sca Shantak!":

the ladies alone?"

The column went

and

Ivan Ivanof I

(Heave ho, my miseries).

(Heave ho, my miserles). hot-all-over, So put the poison in the soup thinking it had been caught out in And the a

a rope into a loop some innocent little escapade like And hang the captain from the poop

(Heave ho, reciting a limerick to a waitress.

my miseries). Peter Peterkin and me Then it looked up the files and

(Heave found it had only offered some mild

ho, my miseries), We cry all day when we're at sea criticism of women that Sunday.

(Heave ho, my miseries). The first mate he has shot himse

*

The second mate has hanged Yourself

One of the column's Arst funny And you can go and drown (Ha ha!) jokes appeared on a

(licave ho, my miseries). Boxing Day "Only 364 shopping "Dear Pig's complaints about this days to Christmas." This was im were (1) It wasn't funny, and (2) mediately acquired by all the funny It was an insult to friendly nation. (Ha, ha!) comedians of the B.B.C., It would also be interesting to who still use it as a stock Christmas recall if Russian was friendly at the gag, and often quarrel among them- time or has ever been friendly to selves about which of them thought anybody at any time. of it first.

n

teme

*

*

bad taste.

While it

*

on the topic of opera. tions, the column remembers that it produced itself-soon-after it had come-to out of the deep sleep of an ancesthetic.

After accurately reporting its hos-

pitni menu:-

Aspirin varie

Mouth wash Angleterre Consomme myatcreuse

L'eau chaud

Euf au lait dispoosting Cafe terrible.

It inaccurately reported the hospital matron and nurses singing: Whatever you have the matter with

Nou.

Perhaps you have toothache or tic)

douloureux. Perhaps

you're in love or perhaps you feel blue?

Paint it with iodine, Paint it with fodine, Paint it with iodine, Do.

And the surgeon shouting:--

known, however, are Communists.

Bald, back-slapping Matyas Rakosi, Deputy Prime Minister and General Secretary of the Communist Party, comes-of-an-old--Jewish- family in Szeged

It should be sneered at for leaving Jews have a voice in the leader-

four political the

parties captain anyway,

which make up the coalition There was also a rather damp government of Hungary. Best letter from a shark complaining that It was often confused with the men of Wall-street. But this was never published in case it strained Anglo- American relations.

time one of these--letters Every time was published "Dear Pig" wrote in to say it was all a lot of lies.

Which reminds me, Dear Pig, all this has been compiled for your bencat-s0 that you can have the misery of reading some of it all over again.

Dr Erno Gero, another Jew, has restoring done astounding work in

roads bridges, railways and Minister of Communications.-- Associated Press.

BY THE WAY

by Beachcomber

113

THE first Strabismus Report burrowed Into the sand at Waggling on the Moonbeam fiasco Magna one may reasonably expect reveals that the failure to reach that next time he will reach the moon. It is a question of getting the moon was caused by the the rocket properly constructed.". I carelessness of the Ministry of hear that the Moonbeam is not badly damaged. Professor Alban Trowte Bubbleblowing.

is particularly disappointed, as he had a solection of juicy pamphlets called, "Whither Democracy an application for nine ounces of m

official read Why" for the inhabitants of the sulogomin. The same the word perihelium as parahellumi

the A regrettable incident in another application, with

THE to result that parahellum fanges were

A high official read

the word

Then it cracked a few jokes about public schools and the old school tie,

After that the column lashed out which was also followed up enthusiastically by the B.B.C. and at politicians, bishops, doggies, or- which Inspired a savage letter from ganised charity, and even had a go, "Dear Pig," who pointed out that at the national patriotic song, "LandThe time has come," the surgeon "stratosphere" as "bathysphere" in Waterloo

was won on the playing of Hope and Glory," an effort which must have caused "Dear Pig" to of Eton. Gelds

the He never mentioned other reach for his horsewhip again:- ranks who couldn't read or write,

Land of gloom and gloru. but who died there just the same.

Flogs and fearful ale, wonder-

Liberal and Tory, Pausing for a moment,

Ing where it would strike next, the column fell upon the domestle scene with savage fury

of

Apart from The Diary of A Worm, which showed woman her worst without ›, revealing the more sinister side of her character, it wrofd nasty little verses about mothers and. Kiddies such as:-

The day when baby first. had

mumps

The week the twins were bad The time when George came out

in lumps

And tile Win went maà.

The month when, baby Jim had

fita

And Mabel_caught_alight"

And Albert blew himself to bits.

NANCY Winged Victory

Mus-cu-lar female;

Low and upper classes,

Snobbery and subs

"Time, gents, please, your glasses,

"We must close our pubs,

Little old ladies

said.

"To take out many things, Your tonsils and appendicer,

And swabs and curtain rings." That weck "Dear Pig" wrote in

profession.

War songs

to darken the scene and

the

Verses

moon.'.

and

Gouged His Eyes Out," the new Bay it was an insult to the medical fixed to the Grove feed-arms. They Arst production.. of "They' melted at the contact of the air play by Gul Rivolve, leader of the when the reckot started. Perihelium Frustrationists, at the tiny Margue is a resistant, and would have held Theatre in Beetle-street, was the the flanges together at any speed occasion of a regrettable incident. The sulogamia for

theatre is, The bathysphere A

Was full to capacity, Time gents, please, your glasses, NOON afterwards war clouds began of course, sulogamin T which re with every one of the twelve

the twelve unicom- "We must close our puba”

the propeller shaft-spring fort

fortable seats occupied.” Tho column was not quite so light-beart Sulogamin is stratosphere-proof thene evidently disliked the play ed, though when the Japanese at when bevelled. What happened intensely and protested loudly. But tacked the Chinese it did write a TN those days there were gossip few war songs for the victims, such rocket went down.

was that instead of going up, the the cast of 20 outnumbered, the audience by more than two to one writers, writing Incredibly foolish an "If the sergeant steals your tice Will Strabismus try again? phone

gramophoneger, producer, and things which gave a column.a chonce never mind," and "Birdsnests-and

were on the to enlarge upon them.

the same to you.”

ONL

NLY one question is being asked side of the petors, an attack was For instance, one of them wrote:*

in scientific circles: Will Stra made on the audience, who were As war crept nearer home It went "There must, I think, be few bald-headed for Hitier and insulted bismus try again? Of course ho driven out of the theatre. This social functions in London which Mussolini long before Mr. Churchill will. As Professor Dischwasser of dangor must be guarded against it change do little from year to year so eloquently described him as "that Puppsch sald (I translate); "Having our small theatres aro to continue to as the League of Mercy garden tattered Inckey."

fallen into tho sen at. Worthing, and attract the cream of culture.

YOU LITTLE RUFFIAN WHY CAN'T YOU BE NICE LIKE

LITTLE NANCY ?

AW-- SHE

AIN'T

POIFECT

IT BOINS ME UP--EVERYBODY

THINKS NANCY'S

AN ANGEL

HELLO, SLUGGO

By Ernie Bushmiller;

TAXIDERMIST

bif

INSECT SPRAY

WITH DOT

When there's bif. Tneedn't use my fist!

SURE KILL

SOLEAGENTS NAN KANG CO, UNION LLUGHA