1947-09-03 — Page 2

2

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OUT OF

KINKS

THE SHADOWS

DEEP IN A

• AIR-CONDITIONED **

WOMAN'S HEARTUSS

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THE BROADWAY STAGE MELODRAMA NOW COMES TO FASCINATING, FLAMING LIFE ON THE SCREEN!

Jadies in Retirement

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IDA LUPINO LOUIS HAYWARD

with EVELYN KEYES

Elea Lanchester. Edith Barratt'. inobel Eltam

From the Broadway play by Hepinaid Danhom and Edward Percy • Scfood play by Corrent Farsund Reginata Danhem • Produced by LESTER COWAN end ÖILBERT MILLER • Directed by

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THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 1947.

Every Wednesday in the Telegraph:

Sitting

HE Sparrow was asleep In his little armchair when

his wife hopped into the Nest-wearing

new hat trim- med with tiny flowers and tipped over her eyes till it alhost touched her beak,

She hopped nearer to him, teaned over his chair, and said "Peep bo." The Sparrow roused himself, glared at her and sighed.

"How do you think I look?" asked his wife, whiring round on one claw so that he could see the hat back and front.

on the Fence

by NATHANIEL

GUBBINS

"Drunk," said the Sparrow, "Oh, how could you say such an awful thing?" said his vife. "Fancy.” "Hate worn over the eyes are an indication of drunkenness," said the

"and always have been." Sparrozo, "It's HOW while ago they were back of the head."

"Hats worn on the back of the ad are an indication of lunacy said the Sparrow..."If you want to look Limbecile one day and a dipromantas the next, it's nothing to do with me."

"Because it's pretty," sald his wife.

"But it's not pretty," shouted the Sparrow, It's Bidcons. IVA ludicrous."

"You ought to be ashamed of that,"

yourself saying things the propes, way to wear there sold his will, a tour starting in her

favod

worn on the

"You never like anything I wear," said his wife.

"That's because you ever wear anything

I like," sat the Sparrow. "Especially hats," said his wife. You always say nasty things about my hats."

That's because I don't like hats," said the Sparrow,

"You have to wear something on your head," said his wife.

wear things "You don't have to like

said the Spirrow.

wrong with It?" asked

his wife.

"I will first of all ask you what's Sparrow, right with it said the

the

"and

primary purpose of a hat." "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking alxiut," said his wife, hal," "The primary purpose of said the Sparrow, is to protect your head from the weather. Docs that thing weather protect you from the

wiit then ask you what is

It's not supposed to," said his wife, "Then why are you wearing it?" asked the Sparrowa

eyes.

Why is it shaped like a boat?" asked the Sparrow. To catch the rain instead of keeping it off your head?"

might be occasions when we could help you on matters of more Keneral Interest.

For instance, I think.

It is a matter of general interest that the tradesmen plready mentioned are probably the most courteous and obliging In the country, that the hotels and restaurants give you a welcome which was uncommon in England even before the war, that If all caterers behaved so well wo should altract more visitors and bring more dollars luto the country.

Seagulls, ពង you may up- pose, have many opportunities of observing the life of a seaside town. 'feel that you will be very happy. in So far as you are concerned, we We can cruise along the front, glancing

In at windows, sit on window Deal, our only fear being that you by the sills and even enter rooms when the will be unduly influenced Decupants are or, when Liey carefree atmosphere of the place.. are in If the occupants are friendly. We think that before long we

We know all the boutmen, their hab's and theft haunts, We know when they are going to catch fish when they don't know them

relves.

even

Indeed, we are more

shall see you in an old jersey alt- ting on a boat, staring at the sea and

sending your wife out to work. which is an old Deal custom in the will be summer time. Then you too lazy to print the letters from 50 birds we enjoy animals and much.

We don't know who will call at

"It's fashionable." said his wife. "Why," asked the Sparrow, pre-

Seagulls can cater golf clubs paring to leave, "s it tipped over your beak so that it not only makes without the approval of the com- you look cross-eyed, but will promittee and without paying a sub- bably give you sunstroke at the seription,

welcome than many who are your house first, one of us or the back of the ck?"

If you would like to see us, membership because they vicar. arc engaged in trade, They leave a bit of fish on the window forget Sly Francis Drake was also sil. The vicar will require a cup of tea though you needn't leave it engaged in trade.

on the window sill.

Hoping your iwite and family are well.

"Because they're worn that way," said his wife.

"If it's fashionable,” said the Sparrow, flying away to the Tree a hat that Tops Club, "to wear makes you look a cross-eyed, cock eyed, intoxicated imbreite, then you can call me the Queen of Sheba."

fused

As I think you once pointed out, the stigma f trade, so far as social qualifications are concerned, applies only to small titadesmen. Blg trades- men directing large businesses, are welcome almost anywhere, which

thian principle.

Letter from a seagull makes it a matter of degres rather

DEAR Siz,-

As a constant reader of your column, may I, on behalf of many thousands of seagulls, welcome you to your new home on the pretty little front at Deal?

May also, as a resident of the

Someday we niny even give you

the lowdown on the town planning

scheme. We are frequently present

at own council meetings and will

our do information.

best

to

obteln more

town myself, congratulate you o preserving the exterior of your house Although we are aware that you

it

originally Was

but are not greatly interested in locul as

either personally or pro- Instead of trying to turn it lato un gossip, olde worlde coltage, which it is not? fessionally, we feel thul there

Thinking Aloud.

YOUNG scientist I know prodded at a newspaper headline with his finger. "That," he said, "is how the next war will start." The head- line said: Infantile paralysis: ∙100 cases reported.

The young man went on to explain coolly how research departments attached to the war departments of more than one country are concentrating on the strengthening of the better known and more deadly types of virus and bacterial infection.-

they were giving the Ile sald little beggars Gun-my treatment to make them stronger,

First headline

to another war

by PAUL HOLT

Mr Shinwell has grown to revel marries to get a permanent roof over publicly In a personal unpopularity her head. and clearly aims to get horrider and "horrider.""

Change of mind RACIE FIELDS is back in Eng- Gland and on the air again.

I remain siry

Yours faithfully,

A Seagull,

POCKET CARTOON

ABC.

Leem gerukes may necă a slight adjustment,”

BY THE

WAY

by Beachcomber.

THE

THE people of Crawley are, ovidently preparing them- selves to become part of the new satellite settlement. They have complained of a plague of nightingales.

When neres of useless trees in that part were destroyed some years ago to make way for the by- piss road, too many were left stand- nolse drowns

of the nightingales almost

Party Conversationing. The result, is that the

father's Utopla the radio. There is such a din that 6TN Margaret's

whisky will be fald on in every you can hardly hear yourself moan- ing an accompaniment to the groan- Why not tear up house like gas and water."

"My husband says that when he's ing "singers," Go he wants somebody to knock him what is left of Tilgate Forest and Highbeeches, on the head with a hammer and Peasepoltage Forest finish him off while he's having Buckswhod, Worth Forest and St good dinner."

entire

"Under another Government, Leonard's Forest, thus creating

would have cordon sanitaire round the somebody suppose,

neighbourhood? given Max Intrator a tiffe."

"As

has American no

sald

we are dying this week, I suppose Uncontrolled we look a little better for the sun- shine."

oft

0

THE loud, uncontrolled and ir- responsible bird-song which makes springtime so old-fashioned rigorously. "Now the purchase tax has come should be dealt with

cookers, Brenda's husband's If there are still reactionaries who

"scared that she'll buy a new one and

produce bigger and more revolting like to hear the birds singing, why can there not be a special hour on

dinners."

the

"As I see it, Russia is waiting the radio devoted to the broadcast- for capitalism to destroy itself.ing of gramophone records of

willow-warbler, and America is waiting for some-blackbird, thrush, body to destroy Molotov."

chaffinch and other survivals of an

Dgc?

Bird-song

"In Margaret'a father's topla unprogressive the ideal home will have little clashes with the sound of motor-

Laps in every room marked. "Whisky. 'Gin' and 'Beer."

"If they want to increase the export drive for dollars they might sell America London taxicabs antiques."

"My husband says the people who are saying Russia can't afford a war were saying the same thing about Germany in 1939,"

"The fact that there

world after Belsen Fascists in the proven that the lunatic asylums are full of the wrong people."

aru still

blcycle exhausts, and

distracts ond

from the business of form-Alling.

Forging ahead

TE M.P.; who said "We shall soon

need pa mission to sneeze" was evidently unaware that soon sneez- ing will be a criminal okenco under Article 79,711 of the Public Hygiene Bill, one of 1,274 measures passed without debate or discussion, after a It so happens that in some cases

Committee had, refused to read carly passion sweetens to affection.

0,194-amendments: --In- the preamblè But for that to happen the wor have to be concerned people

"It's no uso telling the Russians to the Bill, antezing is condemned thoroughly grown-up and to show there's still a lot of good will in this as anti-social, together with cough- their willingness to put aside all the country. As if the Russian Governing, sniffing, snivelling, clearing the tantrums und appetites of child- ment cares."

throat, opening the mouth, talking, The news that we are now giving

"I suppose it's just as well that laughing, hiccoughing and breathing cod liver oil to killer germs will,

hood.

As few people are willing to make they do send three-quarters of the the latter subject to certain special I fear, surprise few people, for we

exercises have lost the art of being surprised, and I was certainly one of them. the effort to do this they

conducted in germ-proof rooms, prefer to think of it this deserve the happiness Mr Bond hus Scotch to America Otherwise I exemptions for physical I few But now are remaining a

"My husband says that for future ruminative characters who will way-she went because her man, noticed they don't enjoy.

prosperity we are relying mainly Without comment ponder

on the wheel come full was going and her place was with decision that

on the export of hangovers."

We have had six years of rele, and the macabre absurdity him. She made

"In Margaret's father's Utopia of the evening days of man.

every wife is entitled to make.

manners, for war, t Consider the possibility that in

even the poorest homes will have ganised bad beer laid on in the parlour."

(Morning paper). the years since then she has missed us 38 much as, and than, we missed her.

Yet there

For it is obviously ridiculous to contemplate some great war leader of the future rising in the House of Commons to cry:

There were those who criticised her for leaving us at Dunkirk time,

maybe inore

In Burma

Safe tactics

the South of France they had to call out tanks and flame- throwers to combat a swarm of trillions of ants which had occupied

road. And the ants won. In Switzerland un eagle swooped up a four-year-old boy,

This may lead the more fearful 15 to believe that the

We shall fight in the consulting rooms: we shall fight in the den- THE assassinations in Burma are

terrible, but surely understand- among tists' chairs and in the oxygen tents we shall fight in the dispen- able. In the course of the war the animals are on the march to wrest

two ลาพ fight in the country

occupations again the mastery from our enfeebl sing rooms: we shall

and in the achieved by superior violence. When ed hands, but my hourt is stouter public water systems

So long as we don't sewage plants. We will never give peace came the example was there than that.

and also a lot of guns lying around, show we are afraid we are safe.

box It was rather Hike Jouving a

The eternal topic of matches in a nursery,

up.

I

Just to annoy

WAS listening to Mr Shinwell talking at a public luncheon in vid of the treedom of editorial opinion. Three editors spoke,

VIR

you

Why people marry

Willesden Percival Bond. muglatrale, said to a man who came to his court; "If all complain of after ten years' married Mr Shinwell

gave his life is that you are unhappy you are valediction. He said that reading lucky."

in the morning Was

his Leter e umplified.

• Then

newspapers

F

is fun to watch the continuing sway of controversy around Mr Strachey on the subject whether we are better fed today than before the war. The Minister, do my regret un quoting has now fallen back calories, which nobody believes in

a at all.

Even if we were as well fed as View: before, nobody would admit it. For

fust a habit, like the Arst cigarette "Marriage is all right, but it lasts too the good. rearon, that before the or a cup of tea, a habit equally long," he said. poisonous and useless,

t was for a moment startled, unt!!

war nobody thought much about What a shocking old sentimentalist food, and certainly never talked he is, to be sure. At his age (77) about it. Now we talk und

think I realised that he did not mean that and from his experience on the bench about little else. at all. He had only said it to an- he should know that king and I suppose a ductor would tell you: noy, becluse he knows it teases, a happiness have little to do with the that the continuing excellence of representative, gathering of writing matter. A man marries to get a the nation's health is, largely due to men and women.

permanent housekeeper. A worian, this one fact.

might feel worse.

E

nothing else.

CROSSWORD

Across

Has the makings of a tomany Bot, {V}

7. Appear. (44)

d. Taken from-tha'lido lady, (4)

H. Many range-finders were trained)

on this target. (9)

14. Prove by discussion, (3)

Antiquity, (3)

14. Providça à laté run. 171

I between high and

banks: 10)

20: Bar Dru 23. Tint. (3)

23. Part of the caption is at it

Kecins. (3)

(24. Ropo," (4

25. Upsets the teate, (5)

46. Spot that bit of trea? (4) ̧

1 and 20

Down

2. Broken CATA. (4)

3. Speech. 10)

Aby dull 'darns

4. Bound like a river that would

percolate. (45)

Almost a female relative but not

Buiten she was prepared to

"do you now*** (3)

9. Laite (5)

10. Erudite way of showing a real

break up to Ned. (7)

10. Etna does it. (5)

10. Rear in un uncommon way,

17. gives you a large choice, 131

1

(4)

Fairylike I follow tune. (8)

carry one in a small way. (3) 2. End of the show, (3)

Bolution of yesterday's puzzle,--Across Crabapple:". Hedonlim: 10, Ocelot:

Awry 15, tata, 15, Oam, 14, Bul

Downi Clio 1. Recruita; 3. Uol. 4, Pit- änge: 3. Exempla

+Wam:

steep 9, Bus;

Ta, Jln; ID. Nin?

OT-

WERE YOU

DENTIST

SCARED WHEN YOUR TOOTH

IT WAS A CINCH---

WAS

NOTHING

TO IT

NO TROUBLE AT ALL

Cathay

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OPENING TO-MORROW

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OH, NO

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Ο

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