1947-04-16 — Page 2

SHOWING

TO-DAY

QUEEN'S

They're draft-daffy! They're drill-eriousl They'll blitz your blucs away!

STAN

LAUREL

OLIVER

HARDY

At 2.30, 5.15.

1.15 & 9.15 p.m.

GREAT GUNS

Sheila Ryan Dick Nelson Edmund MacDonald

'A 201h Century-Fax Picture

+

MARCH OF TIME

ADDED! "ATOMIC POWER"

TO-DAY

ONLY

Sea and hear in action all the real stars of the atomic

firmament: ENSTEIN, MEITNER and

other great

scientists....... See never-before- released U.S. Army pictures of HIROSHIMA de- vastation....

Visit closely guarded Jabora- forias.

At 2.30, 5.20,

&

T

MAJESTIC 7.20 6 9.20 p.m.

Ziegfeld

Sollies

1946

More stars than there

are in Heaven!'

COMMENCING TO-MORROW!.

Wallace BEERY Q

Margaret O'BRIEN

in “BAD BASCOME”

ALHAMBRA & CENTRAL ITS ON THE WAY!

STERNATIONA

Their

SQUADRON

Countries

Conquered

-But Not

Thak Cozzrs!

Widener Bros. Hit amin

RONALD REAGAN

us the daredevil Yankes Aco) ·

・The

Foreiz

'Legion' **of the RAFT

OLYMPÈ TRADNÁ »`WILLIAM

LUNDIGAN - JOAN PERAY ·

REGINALD DENNY Directed by LEWIS SEILER

ORIENTAL

SHOWING TO-DAY: 2.30–5.207.20——9.20 p.m.

A Story of Love, Adventure and Exquisito Music

STEWART GRÄNGER——PHYLLIS CALVERT.

in

MAGIC BOW

with JEAN KENT-DENNÍS PRICE—CECIL PARKER Next Change:ZIEGFELD FOLLIES, OF ́1946"

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16, 1947.

Telegraph Wednesday Feature:

Sitting on the

UFFLED up in overcoats

and wool and seated before

JL

desk In an unheated room, I thought the snow was coming through the roof when two cold spots hit my neck and made me jump.

Then a tiny, tinkling voice said in my right ear: "Guess who's come. It's Jey Paws."

Of course, it was the Fairy Wishful Thinking, who always arrives in times of crisis. She had thrust her little cold hands under the collar.of my sweater, believing it would make laugh, I suppose.

me

. "Hullo, Sourpussy," she said. standing on my shoulder and peering at me. "Do I see that naughty twenty-past eight mouth again, Just like it WILA during the war?"

Fence

by NATHANIEL GUBBINS

I replied that in merry, merry Maytime the mines would be as black as usun! and the air would stink of coal dust. Instead of the humming of bees there would be the rattle of pneumatic drills.

Murcover, I, sald If the mloers didn't stick hard at it while she was aniding roses, the export drive The would rtop, we should spend

of the American loan and all be starving to death by 1940.

13

trenndes he has hidden in n oup, heard outside Emily's bedroom. which is rather unfortunate for her I belleye they go off if the pins Rel rusty.

Florrie came round to tea (last of the gentleman's relish) and told us that the Russians have invented 100 times more un atomic bomb. pywerful than the one dropped on the Japanese. which you can carry

about in your waisteont pocket-

She said all Nussians in this coun- By carry one 13 matter of routine

and at a given signal from Moscow will blow us all to pieces-as there is n Russian working as a rounda- man for the town bakery this

upset b

Emily who come

"Sourpussy worries too much about

things that don't concern him," said the Fairy. "It's for I replied that if my trap re-elever Governments to worry about gistered 0920 hours it was be things like that. Besides." she add- cause I was born with it that ed. "one of these terrible

things to happen. The dear, naturally way. It had nothing to do with going

darling miners are going to work out in one of her, nervous ranties and war or a fuel shortage or any harder than ever, and even if they hides

air raid In

aid air Outr

shelter thing else. I snid it was pro- can't produce enough coal for the every time the baker calls.

there'll be another bably like that on my wedding export drive

As you might have expected. lovely Jonn when the first one's day.

your hele Fred has started up his spent and everything will be okie feud with the Ironmonger who had dulles."

a commission the Home Guard and is now Labour M.P. for uur division.

"Oh, dear, such a erUSS patch," she sighed, "with the crisis nearly over and the brave little snowdrops

faces their pretty pushing through the cold, cold earth."

2417

I told her that snowdrops nothing to do with it. They wouldn't make my feel any warmer. And if she thought the crisis nearly over she was a first-class fool.

a

With income tax at about 15s. In the to pay interest on the love- ly lovely loans, I said, Just miss- ing her with a swipe from a rolled- up newspaper before she vanished.

•

:

The True Blues sald there was no shorloge of coal' in dear Queen Vic- torin's time, and when one of the Intellectuals pointed out that the rlenr Victorians kept themselves warm on child labour in the mines there were the usual cries of Bol shevik scum and Fascist reac tionaries--one of the Trur Blues was stopped at the door with her handbag full of sugar from the tea- tables.

The gardener. who is learning Russian and reads a chapter of Karl Marx every day, saya that when the revolution comes we shall all have to go into heavy Industry, or be shut.

Your loving

Aunt Maud,

Party conversation

father lived the cold spell by the during

ARGARET'S Mthrough drinking hot whisky

switch-off and cold whisky during the switch-on."

"My husband says toleration goes too far when we submit the Albanian incident to the Security Council."

"There was a time when silly little countries like Albania would have been blown of the earth and their entire Government hanged for doing much less."

"Don't talk too loud or you'll be re- ported to the Russian Embassy."

"If this is like a normal winter in Russ no wonder Kassians seem se quarrelsome. I've been quarrel- Inst ling with everybody for the

month."

Brenda's husband always gets a break in a national emergency, For a whole week her electricity stitched off before she could cook i one of her disgusting breakfasts."

was

Your Uncle, in uniform and arto- ed with his shotgun, got very tiddly Letter from an aunt

at the local hotel, went round to the Ironmonger's house and order- My dear Boy-

ed him out on night exercises. was MY

Such a long

I time since

When

refused the ironumonger your Uncle fred

head. wrote, but as we scem almost back

over his

"Margaret's father to war conditions

says that if Kun. thought I would smashed a window with als I said if we couldn't build up

let you

Communist everybody had a bottle of whisky a and called him a dirty know how we are getting and kettle peddler--I suppose there day the crisis would be over in 24 conl reserve of 12,000,000 tons of

with is

on-ns you might expect everything will be another summons from the during the next nine months

frozen solid here with roads the labour of half the normal num- ber of miners, then there would be a worse crisis next winter. little "After the brave drops." said the Falry. brave little crocUELS."

snow- "come the

Yes 1 said, and after that come the brave little fu germs. Spring- time, 1 said, was influenza time, and on this occasion it would probably be so bad that few people would be out of bed to see the daffodils, un-

less they gol pneumonlu and saw

them in hospital.

And when they're out of hos. be pital," said the Fairy, "it will merry, merry Maytime. The world with apple will be pink and white blossom and cherry blossom, and humming bees will hang suspended in the scented air."

the

almost Immpassable and Emily police. shivering and snuffling about place with one of her feverish colds and wrapped up like an Eskimo in old coats and woollies,

Your Uncle Fred saw a silly article in one of the newspapers about calling out the Home Guard and has taken it quite seriously-he dresses up every morning in his old uniform and blacks his face every night as if he were going on commando raid.

a

Thank goodness they took his rifle and ammunition away from him be- cause he seems to think the idea is to thool poor Mr Shluwell-but he still has a shotgun and some hand

Poor darling Porgy has been bearing up very bravely during the cold spell though he had a week of doggy Nu and spent most of the time in his basket by the fire eating as much coal as possible to embar- rass the Government.

He barked throughout Attlee's speech on the wireless and bit Emily when she turned off a gas fire to save fuel.

The Impoverished Gentlewomen's True Blue Conservative Association had their weekly row with the in- tellectuals of the Whist Club during a political tea with rock énkes and margarine toast.

THE TALKING DOG

LET ME DOWN

BY ROBERT MUSEL

United Press Staff Correspondent

OST of the past year I've been roving the British ·

}

instance what happened to a dog should happen to me. mean Ben, the talking dog of Royston, who has tasted both fame and fortune just because I found out he could say the following sentence:

"I want one."

What I haven't told since Ben rocketed to celebrity by asking me for a chocolate bar, is how he fura- It tively bit the hand that fed him. was this way. After he had become an International personality, Ben's owners were approached by Amerleun radio. network which wanted to transmit his immortal but monotonous phrase to millions of Isteners in the United States.

an

He spoke directly Into the micro- phone. And back across the Atlan tle on the private radio channel came a voice fervently reducing Ben to a succinct and accurate, if un- printable, phrase.

spots, or the divorce courts because "It is forbidden to quote from-testi-- mony in an undefended suit. Most divorces involving prominent names are in that category. And not infre- quently the case is heard in camera and the papers are seated.

OOKING back over this year. I remember most vividly my in- terview with Sir Oswald Mosley, the had prewar Fascist leader, who hundreds of so-called "book clubs" studying his book prodicting a new world order. Sir Oswald sent bodyguard down to look me over before I was admitted to the august presence. Then, there was the night I had dinner at Quaglino's-as it I found myself almost happened cheek-by-jowl with Princess Eliza- beth, the heiress to the throne and boy friend, Prince Philip of Greece.

her

HE talking dog was one of the bright spots of the year for me because Britain is n placid land rich in tradition but barren of the un- USUBI. That makes it tough for fenture hunters. There are fewer What I recall most outside of the murders in a year than there are fact that Elizabeth

urc

is a vivacious

In the United States in a week. And girl, is that she got roast duck stuff- most home-grown killings are drab ed with apples and brandied peaches affairs without the lurid overtones

of penthouse love nests and million while all they could and for me was a slab of disguised sausage mont ntre mesalliances familar in Ameri- and ersatz custard pudding.

ca.

I was assigned to conduct the radio "Interview." Well before programme time I laid in a supply of biscuits and chocolates, both of which nor- mally make Ben chatter "I want one" like á broken record.

Anyone who heard that Ill-fated

Ben programme will recall thut spoke nary a word.

Even crime is mostly unspectacu- The hitherto sceret reason is that he sneaked off lar, with the exception of rare affairs to the British Broadcasting Company like the jewel robbery of the Duke AND finally my visit to Ayat St. Lawrence to talk to George Ber- of Windsor. British nard Shaw and Duchess canteen and permilled himself to

on his 90th birthday. crooks are beaten, little fellows who be glutted, with cake and candy by

The venerable playwright didn't mostly operate alone but sometimes admiring employees. By the time we

wart

to be interviewed" and was got him back to the studio it was join into impoverished bands one of clumping angrily around his garden too inte. When I waved the choco which (in London) calls itself "The eu two sticks. late bar under his bloge: nose be. Aldgate Toughs. The British under- offered the advice that GBS, for all turned his back on me and tried to world rarely carries guns, preferring his unapproachability, was vulner

chivs (razors), coshes (blackjacks) able to hobbies. kick it out of my band.

and pleces of bleyele chain which are dendly at close quarters.

Just as we went off the air after three minutes of strained silence," in embarrassed radio official pull- .l a handkerchier and Ben Im

mediately pointed, chattering:

"I want one."

NANCY

́Hidden Talent

YOO-HOO --- NANCY-- SORRY I'M LATE

TODAY

Good sources for stories are Scot Innd Yard and the nobility, includ- Ing the Royal Family. But not the night clubs, because the only tony ones are strictly "members only"

One of his friends

"There was a fellow' here. got to speak to GBS because they both have n photography hobby,' he said. "What's yours?"

Blackout! But he gave the inter- view.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

I DON'T

KNOW

IT'S EXACTLY THREE-THIRTY

hours."

"The best food by London la served In cab-drivers' shelters. That's Rhe only thing that keeps them alive in the cold weather."

"Brenda's husband Is the only man in the world looking forward to another war so that he can join up again and escape from her, nwful cooking.

"It's hard to believe that anybody would marry Brenda unless he was drunk-no figure, no glamour, conversation, no cookery book."

20

As most Englishwomen are like that it explains the rolling English drunkard Chesterton, wrote about,"

*

"I wonder who gets paid for torit- ng those terrible Ministry of Food recipes?"

"Brenda, of course."

NEWSREEL

GRAHAMI

"Monty's differant, sea."

27

"Who wants a lot of silly ste ashes. anyway >*

**Taxi !!**

BY THE

WAY

by Beachcomber

A hansband says men of his age ave only a few more years to enjou

but there's nothing to enjoy." "Americans seem to like us only when' we're down and nearly out."

"My husband says if a. Conserva-

life..

Hire Government had been elected in 1945 there would have been a general strike with the miners marching on Loudon,"

"Sometimes Margaret's father saves fuel by drinking hot whisky in bed between twelve and two."

[12

CROSSWORD.

F7

20.

23

#

121

24

457047

19

The metalle base of potash in which a sun is top. (0) 4. Eastern

10. Anagram of a red gun, (B)

1. One of a nativa race in central America. Thi 13. Abet. 131

14. Disclose, (7)

17. A heating sphere, 191

10. The upper part in other. (3)

20. Cold comfort in some bakeries.

(8)

2. Re this for repetition. 14)

23. Take boed (4)

24. THIRD BUDDort, 18) 25. He's taken from the meer boat.

houso. (5)

20. Totais. (4)

Down

Illa resistance is very pointod. '10)

2. Instrumental. (7)

3. A broken rite, (4)

4. Radio accessory, (5)

3. Blight returns from the baker.

5. The final proposition. (9)

7. Lito takers. (9)

9. She comes and

same. (3)

goes Just cho

1. Dres what the contections are

171

15. The cream. (5)

18. Tätter. (3)

1. The edge of the brim. (3) 21. Dorn 13)

Solution al:penterday's pitatio ➡Aerose

M4 Coupons, KAREL F. Masivo: 1997 Huntha Fuen, 14, Meir, 15. Gebus,

Qtr..

17 Hide, 18 Malls, 21, Abet Tips. 35 Me. TES. 20 AIA, 19 Inertia

Dean 1 Warmonger zi Fruel. 3.

4. Pasch. NODE 14 Meli. Ja juge.

FULL inquiry into the fai- lure of the rocket Utopia to leave her moorings hus resulted in the following statement from Dr Strabismus (Whom God Pre- serve) of Utrecht,

"Owing to

an oversight, one of the Catlett valves connecting the block-hoist with the dynamo tubes had been left unscrewed. This resulted in an air-blockage in the -outlet-fúnnel-beneath-the calimber

The matter has now been remedied, and the launching will take place as soon as possible."

shaft.

It la pointed out that the rockel may travel at such a pace when released that it will almost dis- appear before anyone has veen It start. A leading scientist sald yesterday:

to "It is impossible predict anything, ng the description of the rocket is completely un- Intell.gible."

Are they illiterate?

TT is anticipated, according to

IT

Gallup Poll, that 92 percent. of the inhabitants of the moon, if there

are

tanis

any, are literate. Women in the higher age groups of the more

section of Jelsured

the population rupplied 20 percent of this figure. Filty-one percent. sald the inhabi- were highly intelligent and well educated. Twenty-six percent. didn't know or care. Trusting to these figures, copies of Tbsen's plays are to be distributed in the moon, If nobody is there, the plays are to be left till called for.

Utopia

Steel Panice

Back-Tube

Upper Spockta

Boy-Gegga

Fistoon-Strap

· Bilke

Pip-Stack

Frobisha's

Transveria section of leg-ienk in forward dynamo. Note the clongated, bore-awivel under tAs drivel.

By Ernie Bushmiller

When You Feel Tired and Restless

take

Elliotts Nerve

and

Brain Tonic

On Sale at All Diapensarios”