1947-03-12 — Page 2

NOW

SHOWING

At 2.30, 5.10.

* KINGS

ELEANOR

POWELL

7.15 & 9.15 p.m.

RED

SKELTON

M-G-M'S SMASH MUSICAL

COMEDY HIT!

"SHIP AHOY"

with BERT LAHR

and TOMMY DORSEY AND HIS ORCHESTRA.

VIRGINIA O'BRIEN

STAR

THEATRE

COMBINED SERVICES ENTERTAINMENT

Presents

The Sparkling Swing REVUE

F

in

JIVE

With

JEST

BERNARD GORDON And his JIVING. JESTERS”

JACKIE NORMAN And All Star Cast Produced by PAT KAY

JJ

TO-NIGHT AT 7.30 P.M.

BOOKING HOURS: 12 p.m.

Z p.m. 4 p.m. Telephone: 58335

J

6.30 p.m.

ORIENTAL

FINAL SHOWING TO-DAY: 2.30-5.157.15-9.15 P.M. A ROMANTIC-COMEDY With laughS AND THRILLS!

MARGARET

ANNE

LOCKWOOD ⋆ CRAWFORD

IN VERA CASPARY'S

Bedelia

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 12, 1947.

Sitting on the

HE Sparrow's beak, sticking out of the bedclothes, was

when his wife arrived back in the Nest after spending a week with her mother.

On the Sparrow's bedside tablo there was a number of miniature medicine and whisky bottles, all empty.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear," said his wife, taking off her little pork- pie hat, "this always happens when

I leave you for a minute."

"It was worth it," said the Spar- row..

"Whatever do you mean by that?" asked his wife, "when I've rushed back to look after you."

"When you are alone," said the Sparrow, glancing at the empty bottles, "everybody looks after you." "And h nice way to do it, too," sald his wife, clearing the little botiles away.

"Very nice," said the Sparrow. "They ought to be ashamed of themselves whoever they are," said his wife. "They might have killed you."

"There isn't enough Scotch in the country," said the Sparrow.

"Old Dr Czow

call?" asited his wile.

"Frequently," said the Sparrow. "What did he say?"

Fence

by NATHANIEL GUBBINS

,

"The party," and his wife. "You u?" monn to any you had a party with

"Pineal thing in the world," said the Sparrow.

"Who came

to it?" asked wife.

his "Well," said the Sparrow, "there

the doctor..... 1063

"The doctor

sold his wife. "Whatever was he doing at a silly party like that?"

"Looking after Sparrow.

"What about his other patients?" asked his wife.

me," said the

"It was his night of? said the Sparrow.

"Did he think he was doing you any good by such behaviour?"

You shouldn't lough pt my mother," said his wife. "She's not

•

at all well.'

"Ask Dr Crow to pay a visit," said. the Sparrow, "He'll mon fix her. Good night,"

"Good night," said his wife.

Dream encounter

had a long, narrow, rubbery face exactly 15 inches by four inches at the widest part, and his big, brown eyes were as big and brown and dead as the eyes of a dead cow.

He was driving me in a car 93% miles an hour along

n

at

eli

He nccellated to 12444 miles an hour, and, ee the road was so nor- row, the car coming in the opposite direction had to go over tha" cliff. It was driven by President Truman, who waved cheerlly as he went down,

A policeman put up his hand and we slopped dead in 3 feet.

"I'm looking for a man who burgled a house in Surrey." ould the policeman, who had a navy blue moustache,

"Wrong,county, shid my driver. "I burgled one in Kent."

011.

"O.K.." sald the policeman. "Drive"

We drove through a tunnel 12% miles long. When we came out we were driving the Scottish express. Sunker Murdoch was the fireman.

"Shove

tome .more coal in the furnace," said the crook with the cultured volce.

"They didn't deliver any conl to- day," said Stinker.

wood and a couple of tree trunks "Use wood then," said the crook. Stinker threw in a bundle of re-

he had with him. We arrived Much-Binding-in-the-Mursh in time

ot

POCKET CARTOON ·

“Smile, please.”.

According To Culbertson

for a garden party in a snowstorm. (Copyright 2017, by Ely Culbertson)

At the garden party Strachey was eating whalemeat sandwiches à fool square and three inches thick. Don

There are

very few "absolute" rules In bridge, but the following comes very close to that classifen-

partner

"I don't lenow if he thought so." road Bit. wide with a sheer drop of Jane Russell, who was wearing kilts tion. When your

Bradman was playing cricket with

Mald

a lot of funny ly did Sparrow, "but he certain- when he spoke it was like a sleepy apart from her super structure, Don

vile

sold, me stories," said the Sparrow. "Some

were pretty good." "That's A fine

way for a doctor to carry on,"

on," said his wife. "Didn't he feel your pulse or anything?" "Oh yea," said the Sparrow. "And look at your tongue?" "Of course," said the Sparrow. "What did he say about it? "When he saw my tongue," said the Sparrow," he had to have Scotch himself."

Q

"Well I never," seld his wife, "and 1 thought you were all right with the doctor looking after you."

"nas," sold the Sparrow.

"I wonder you're still alive," said his wife.

"So do 1," said the Sparrow, "after the party'

S

"How?" asked his wife. "Before it was over," aalit Sparrow, "iconA

the medicine and I

drinking 21277 was drinking hi Scotch.

1ink that did me a lot of good."

"It was about time I came home," said his wife.

"Maybe," said the Sparrow..

"If I hadn't, you'd have been fly- ing to that awful Tree Tops Club In a dressing gown."

the

"I was thinking of it" said Sparrow, "How's your mum?"

"All right' except

for her nasty cough."

"And her nasty headache, Theu- matism, lumbago, Sciatica and dys- pepsia?" asked the Sparrow.

WILLIAM

a mile and a half on the right. Cockney giving a poor imitation of a BBC announcer. He wore, a red bowler hat and bright green gloves. "Do you know who I am?" he asked in his sleepy voice.

I said no, I didn't. "I'm the crook with the cultured voice," he said. "You must have read about me."

the

I said yes, I had. "He wore a mask,'

night watchman told a reporter last night, and he pointed a revolver at me, saying keep your trap shut or I'll shoot the liver out of you. He spoke in a cultured volee."

"And that's you?" I said to him." "That's me," he said, so I've got to keep moving."

HICKEY

NOT FAIR

O many

birds

are being shot for the pot that some of Britain's rare species are (threatened with extinction.

This is not wild-fowling slaugh- ter is wholesale and even bird sanc tuaries are systematically raided. What goes in a game ple nowadays in nobody's business-and there's the rub,

The law in chaotic. Quite openly London poulterers are selling player and curlew. There ly no reason why not, it is perfectly legal, and so long as voracious and unthinking people will buy, the birds will be shot. Unfortunately, there is public conscience where food is con- cerned.

110

From Augus: 1 to February 28 is the open season, and birds which we are apt to think "protected" mastly are not.

PRE

DRESTON DONALDSON, energetic and enthusiastic secretary of the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, was telling me about the pri- vate member's But ready and wait- Ing for Parliament,

penite

GAME

was bowling her body line stuff and your double of a one-bid, before wicket. she was given out e.b.w.—everything

Then the crook with the cultured voice put on his mask and shot Jane Russell dend. We all said: "Thanks very much," and Don Bradman gave him the Ashes.

On the road again the crook was driving a steam roller converted to jet propulsion. It also had wings and a gyroscopo.

We were going along at a pretty good lek-475 miles an hour to be exset-when the crook said: "I have an atom bomb in the back. Where would you like to drop it?"

I muid

Would like to drop it on General Franco.

"OK."

said the crook, and add- ed: "Burglars of the future will hold people up with atom bombs instead of revolvers. We mustn't be behind the times."

We rose suddenly to 50,135 fect, travelled twice round the world at a speed faster than sound and drop- ped the atom bomb on Franco.

The jug of water I had knocked

It would standardise and simplify chestra with a squiggle of his nose over with my arm rolled on the floor existing regulations. All birds would and made the show as effectively as and I went to sleep again..

be protected except ruch pests as a woman kneading bread.

passes telling

you be expects to defeat even that low contract-lead trumpa! Note this typical case:

North, desler.

North-South vulnerable.

NORTH +54 **GAZ

4076433

WEST

AKQ10

• A.Q75*

EJ 10

FAST.

• QJ 10 9

❤308

+1 10 9 &

SOUTH

*AX703

01

+AQE

The bidding.

FLAS

ro

Narth

FRES

West opened the king of

hearts

wood pigeon and currion crows, and I have new respect for the hard-Party conversation continued the suit, much to his

there would be an open season, after working and, so far as I am con- breeding time, for wild-duck birds good to eat

and cerned, mentally-maligned craft of

production.

Northern Ireland has led the way with this sensible law.

Du private members' time is

nationalised. Chinees for the Bill are nil, and for birds about the same.

VISIT ton radie variety broadcast

from the Acollan Hall In Bond street renewed my love of stage- variety.

Two senses are always better than pne, and sight and sound have long been married. When parted they

MAIL brings Air Ministry Invita

tion for a cocktail.party "to Department of the Air Member for the Inauguration ut the

Technical Services."

marke

only, of best ivory card 14 inches by It is printed on one half, one side 12. The other half, again one side only, is filled with a blurb.

There are to be economy cuts in the Civil Service.

THE only who's happy partner's anguish. South ruffed and

mon

about tho

haulage strike is returned a low diamond. Brenda's husband, who won't have

West put to eat so much of

East overtook up the queen, but her filthy cook-

with the diamond king in order to "My husband says that if the return the queen of spades. Government is ever unscated before term of office ends it will be

its

done

The trump lead was too late, how by thore it is trying to help." ever, to do much damage. South a scheme to make wood alcohol diamond in dummy, and i "Margaret's father's working on won with the spade ace, ruffed

drinkable. Then he

managed will form a company to

to win another of his own buy up the forests of

small the world.

trumps by ruffing one of dummy'a "All we think of now is getting hearts. South Jater mode the king through the winter. are as incomplete as bacon with:ut THE Society of Women Artists

When we get of spades and the ace of clubs, and to the summer it isn't much better." ex.

"Credit-line "Produced by..."

should change its name and rid

"If nylons are made out of cool. He could consider himself

was therefore set only one trick. itself of self-conscious inferiority. then I think the Government should เม radio

programmes has never inter- Current exhibition in

pretty ested me.

Guildhall

do something about the coal shor- lucky to get out with the loss of only too good to advertise a sex-complex. tage." Yet watching MICHAEL NORTH,

200 points! ""So far as I'm concerned it won't a mun-mountain of galvanie cheer have

Only prices fulness, was an eye-opener.

moly fancy; these women

out-grown pretty-make much difference if text drivers All 17 pretties like dowers in pots and mun

If West had made the stone on tiptoe, eyes on eight micro- rise over Como,

come out in sympathy with the lorry opening lead of a trump, the story drivers. phones

I can never pet at once, he finger-flipped and that should be enough.

They are artists.

when I want one anyway." players to nellon, shushed the or

Royal Academy's senior academician "If only must watch his atop: the domestic clerks would strike."

the Inland Revenue South would

day diamond, and East would take the interiors by FREDERICK ELWELL'S that would be."

irlck1o. leud. n... second.round.....ol wife *are****better*

than

good. I

"Brenda's cooking is 30

trumps. This would ke, too, the firm lines and

sometimes that her husband find South's remaining high trump, and hard

knock out lour of CORA GORDON, but then. himself envying the Germans." | I'always have done. The only not- "Only three weeks from now and

East would be able to draw the able absentee is LAURA KNIGHT: the snowdrops will be out."

rest of the trumps whenever he re- she is the president

"And half the workers of

gained the lead. South Would make country will be out, too,"

only his two top trumps and the are "My husband says that Monty has of clubs (he might lose the latter

BY THE WAY

by Beachcomber

Co-

What o

а

tari

awful

the

would have

been

proper

quite different. win and retum 1

would be 1,100 points!

Weat's bad choice of the opening lead (and continuation) cost his 900 points the value of an average rubber!

[Y`Staff Baking Correspon- founding a new political party C. Mentalepath to ply Suet, Eng, sald; political party C. created department of chartered ments in the other parties into some-

to fuse all the most democratic ele- PROMISE by Mr CHUTER EDE

that senior police posts will be gone to Russia to find out what has if he were not careful) and his loss accountants is being set up to thing constructive, thus wielding, in alled by men from the ranks does not

really happened to Uncle Joe help the bakers to, count, re- one solid blos, what, in each case, entirely convince London policemen

Stalin." count; return, file in triplicate ture of the other parties is, apart open, will be little stimulus lore be able to make a wonderful job of

was to be

seen to be what the Junc- that promotion-road is now wide wood-alcohol scheme works he will "Margaret's father says that if his and re-re-count their B.U.s, from there not beinig means cruitment unless practice is changed second-hand uillity furniture when side

any T.L., F.N.s, muffin folios, flour before of such a Juncture of the They feel that the country's counterfoils, cake certificates, others into a bloc comprising the rest gest police force ought to hero pre people can get something better."

of them, or what we want of the rest vided a man for the latest appoint- crust permits and so on.

of them, by development of each on ment to an assistant - commissioner ← parallel lines, to get them all into post at Scotland Yard. New man t the one body envisaged by the junc- Colonel ARTHUR EDWIN YOUNG.

able, and affable, but a Pompey-| ranker.: Colourful badinage TIVERY now and then

TRON rims of Irish State coach, we hear bullt for Queen Victoria's fourth about a campaign to "brighten visit to Ireland in 1900, were rubber- post-offices H

myself have sug tyred for the first timic for the gested getting actresses to sell the royal procession to open Parliament. stamps, but nothing is ever dene New team of greys given by Queen about it. And now somebody sug- Wilhelmina was not yet trained to gests training the assistants to be pull the heavier golden state coach brink and cerful, I can inmagine

which weighs seven tons. Pre-war as though

A special flying squad of account- ants will travel from baker to baker certifying returns and checiting non- returns. Other acco

accountants will act as liaison officers between the depart ment and the various regional baking officers and Food Ministry registrars.

Coupon Counters Union. But not Mrs Wowle, who has nothing what- over to do with all this,

Commencing To-morrow: "FLASH & FANTASY" They will all be compelled to join the

LEE THEATRE

TOWN BOOKING OFFICE

W. BAKING & CO. ALEXANDRA BLDG.. GIL FLA HUTWEEN 11.00 AM. AND 2.65 PM. DAILY

SHOWING TO-DAY AT 2.30, 5.10, 7.10 & 9.15 P.M.

Mr.Winkle goes to War

... and your heart goes with him!

MY

Edward G. BERD ROBINSON

Pakuntia, Pictures'

Mr. Winkle goes to War

RUTH WARRICK TEC

SON BOB HAYMES

From the BEST. SELLING MOVEL

by Theodore Prot Produced by. **JACK MOSS Directed by {ALFEED £. OECDH

You can see this coming

ΑΝ

ture of them all."

N article describing how the

Queen Elizabeth "turned her the result. "Ah, good-morning, sir. team is pensioned. newly painted nose" towards the Now you look

you could Training is job of Crown Equerry: berth prepared for her well, you do with a spot of, postal-order or a horsy, Irish, Sir DERMOT MCMOR- can see what I'm going to say, a dozen two-penny-halfpennies. What? ROUGH KAVANAGH, who prontises mile away. The owner of many a Only one twopenny-halfpenny? Come Windsor Groys this year.

"

You should write more

newly painted nose did the same come, air. thing during that trip.

letters How's

your mother? Atta NIPPED from a London evening by girl! What a jolly queue! Blotting- render C. A. WHEATLEY; paper? Bless your heart! Breathe Sixty-six years

‚a barber, Mr C. on it, my dear, breathe on it. We Hazell, who claims to be Britain's

Suct's plan

INTERVIEWED recently

. about all blow together! Theret; Isn't that oldest hairdresser, is still working

the rumour that he contemplated better?"

NANCY, No Laughing Matter

BAW-WW

aged 05..

WHY ARE YOU CRYING ???

THIS IS A

| COMEDY

CROSSWORD

18. The assist in levelling things

out (0)

22. Oblivion. (5)

21. Orastand, (3)

*

23. The stack in this brickymod. (94 21. Notices.

(4) 25. Deserts for this. 181

20. Ditto. (4)

own

(9)

:

ALTUS

What you may expect when atare

Women's warning. (T

. Birdies pattern. (3)

1. den of the troo8.

4. The skin boat of the Eskimo. (8)

s. Showed she way, 13}

4: Green woodpeckers. (9)

5. Bweltors. (bi

8. Trape. (H)

8. Is in return usiany followed by

a decree. (4) 9. malines, ON

used to move a pint Whole fisting (0)

17. 2018 Days were famous. ·

11. lxpanse of water. (4)

20. Changed liema. (4)

Holation of graterday's puter Pied Piper nurance; 12, peedily..

parcs 14. Mop: 15, Tree, 16, HO! 14, Cats 90.

rate: 25. Eddy-20, Named host 1. Lobe: 23) Lie; 14. Understood. (8),ehoing: &, Respected.

1. Pineapple, inepti

12. They are for two in one sense,

1b. Bors of pilot who don't usually Albamures, 10, No: 15 tesity;-17

• 13 181

10. Usina (4) Mald: 111, Luen; 34. bani

1

she is the theatre,, 14-6)

11. Grulse id facing.). (9)

By Ernie Bashailler

I KNOW-- BUT I GOT

HERE JUST WHEN

THE PRICES CHANGED

Les

24

When You Feel Tired

and Restless

take

Elliotts Nerve

and

Brain Tonic

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