TO-DAY
TO-MORROW
QUEEN'S
THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1947.
~ Pocket CARTOON
At 2.30, 5.15,
7.15 & 9.15 p.m.
MEET THE MODERN ‘MATA HARI'!
Shi's Dangerous!
EDWARD SMALL Presante
GEORGE BRENT LONAMASSEY
INTERNATIONAL Lady
Released the UNITED, ARTISTS
STARTS FRIDAY!
Tyrone POWER Botty GRABLE
Together for the First Time!
in "A YANK IN THE R.A.F."
ALHAMBRA
OVERPOWERING
TO-DAY ONLY
2.30, 5.20, 7.20 & 9.20 P.M.
in the gun-blasting i
OVERWHELMING
rings of the Mat! A
action?
in hof-thundering
OVERSHADESUING..
WILLIAM
..
ell odvesture dramas la in
blood-tingling axcitement!
CLAIRE
OLENN
HOLDEN TREVOR FORD
GEORGE BAHCMFT EDGAR KICKAMAM
• COLUMBIA FICUT ********
To-morrow! "THE MASTER RACE"
CENTRAL
"Thess
my real jewal. My imitation ones are in the safe}"
WILLIAM HICKEY GREAT GI GREETER
TOM LANCER, colone! of the US.
First Division and Arst
mayor of Aix-la-Chapelle, has sent a silver shield to London necountant FRED SMITH.
chn
Sitting on Fence
Nthe Preas are about to be TOW the private affairs of
Investigated by a royal com- mission this column would like to say that it does not fear the Atrictest inquiries which may be considered in the public in- terest,
In fact, it has decided to save the royal commission a lot of trouble by making a few disclosures at once.
As royal commissions of Inquiry are normally gluttons for detail, here are some which should satisfy the hungriest necker formation,
after useless in-
Since the column's typewriter seized-up in 1942 it has been written by hand, in pencil on sheets of paper ains, by 10ins. The pencils are 213a, ins. long when new, hexagonal and about-in. In diameter,
The column doesn't know the clr- cumference of the pencils because the column isn't sure that a hexagon can have a circumference. A cir- cumference is a line that bounds a circle.
by NATHANIEL GUBBINS
21
But on Friday it
doesn't like
the
If the royal commission finds lat there is no point in writing a column mainly about nothing, this column will probably be the first to agree with it.
Motive?
the royal commisalon asks this question, the answer is that there is no motive but greed,
In
The column does not believe writing for anything but maney, and gels as much as it possibly can. The room, study, den, dump,, or whatever you care to call it, in which because it hasn't any. Ideas. On offered it £1,000,000,000 it wouldn't But this does not mean that it will the desk in placed at right angles to
does nothing write anything for money. If you the windows overlooking Banatead Saturday It does nothing because it write anything, or offer any opinion, Downs, is mainly full of dust.
the ideas it has. On it didn't believe in. That is, not Apart from the dust there
Sunday It is in a panic tire
and can't unless the money was tax free." some old clothes in one corner, think about or remember anything, wardrobe without a door in another, not even the Ideas It didn't like. a cupboard full of empty bottles in another, nnd a lot of old books draped in cobwebs all over the place, bling beast, hating the
On Monday It is a anarling, acrib-
Innocent So for as money is concerned, the Women are not allowed in unless people in the office who are waiting column is like the girl in the song. they are bearing trays of food. for It and cursing the nervous poor but honest," but, unlike Even a brief conversation with them
giri, has not succumbed women at home when they knock man's whim. But In fairness to the Is not encouraged.
timidly at the door to bring it food. rich man, it must be said that he Tuesday is Its only day free from fore the column may not be so never attempted seduction. There- for-virtuous after all.
[TH
Letters remain unanswered for
Method
about the diameter of a hexagon, years,
What's more, the column isn't sure
elther. Is it the line drawn between i the apexes of two opposite triangles or the line drawn between any two opposite points dividing it in half?
E column is written at the last As the coluran has forgotten all its possible moment consistent with Euclid except that "The angles at the causing the minimum Inconvenience base of an isosceles triangle are to those who are paid (and therefore equal" and thai "two parallel straight obliged) to read it and print it. lines will never meet" (like Stalin and Truman) it would be grateful
The column kas niways considered for any Information from clevert an outrage that men should have commission.
and tries to make their lives ns happy as conditions will permit.
anxieties because I has then gotten all about itself.
What it believes may bo rubblalı. But thal's not the point. It belleves
it.
ike
to a rich
The column is poor,.not because it is badly paid; it is very well paid. But not so fantastically well paid as know-alls make
WEDNESDAY is probably Its worst the gossips and W day.
It bears the names of four Amerl- cans and an Inscription an ambas- sador could envy that Fred Smith "did more to promote Anglo-Ameri-
relations than
anJone we know,"
Before American troops came over In strength Mr Churchill said he hoped they would get a warm wels come. Smith, henrl-iroubled, since readers which would help the royal to earn their living reading columne mistakes, unnoticed In the proof.
Invalided out of the first war, that personally.
As his home was his club, persunded members to give house to Amerlear ofcers, himself greeter.
took
hic
ореп made
in the first few days four turned up. They liked Smith and the news got around. still, he could listen, and he always listen: better had the odd bottle tucked away.
Nomes on the shield are those of the original quartel, frat of the hun- dreds who call Fred friend,
IN London looking for rare violins
are REUB
OLSEN, round and twinkling, with CARL BECKER, Cassius-built, who has made more than 500 viollas himself.
Their firm in Chicago is the oldest of its kind in America, their rooms at Grosvenor House are piled with Addle-cases, but they have not found another Stradivarius,
Between them they know all that Is to be known about 500 Strods, have just published a life-time's study. Yet almost every day back home someone brings in an old iddle ("been in the family for years) and inside is a Stradivari label.
And always It is the facsimile once much used in cheap violins: it de- scribes the type, not the maker.
Carl plays the 'cello "n Kittle”...
營業
Reub sticks to bridge.
NOW this interests me
5 SHOWS DAILY
At 12.30, 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.15 P.M.
YOU'LL ROCKY
YOU'LL REAR!
YOU'LL ASK FOR MORET
IN
ROCKIN
Bieged by VERKLATS
CATHAY
WANCHAI ROAD WANCHAIZ
COLUMBIA'S
ROCKIES
THE
with
THE THREE STOOGES
BLARY BETH HUGHES TRE HOOSIER HOTSHOTS
"JAY KIRBY - THE ÇAPPY BARRA
BOTS - GLADYS BLAKE TEM RYAN and SPADE COOLEY, King of
•Western Swing
WANNA
SONGS!
RACUN DI THE ROCKCES and others
SHOWING TO-DAY
At 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.15 p.m. TOGETHER AGAIN!
NICK, NORA AND ASTA IN THEIR NEWEST, FUNNIEST AND MOST EXCITING RIOT!
William POWELL
Myrna LOY in
THE THIN MAN
GOES HOME
An M-G-M Picturo
DINE AT
7-9 DUODEL STREET MA
DINA. HOUSE.
B lot.
THE
Measurement
It is written at the last possible inoment because it puts off the evil day until it can do either one of two things-write it or resign. An it can't make up Its mind which to do until it is too late to resign without bottles, causing Inconvenience to all con- cerned, it rises before dawn on Fri- day and writes it.
E desk on which the column is written is 44m wide, 30 ns. deep and 30ins. high and is per- manently covered by old newspapers, ash-trays, books, medicine bits of food. cigarette enda, empty tea cups and
writing
Thursday
The only space left permanently clear is a spaco Bitts. by 10ins, to accommodate the sheets of paper. In order to get the facts right TVERY Thursday morning it wakes a tape measure has been added to with the intention of writing the general confusion.
some of it on Thursday to avold the stampede on Monday. In its more virtuous moments i tells itself it will write a column a day for a week and take seven weeks off.
Every Friday morning it wakes with nothing done, but consoles itself with the thought that, after all, it is the column was young enough
The late Sally the Cat once thought only Friday. It tells itself that it keep white mice in its trouser poc- Sunday, and even Monday morning tolins all Friday, all Saturday, nit kets and made some embarrassing to produce itself. So
what
is it investigations.
The chair in which the column sits (or writhes, because it would rather be having a drink somewhere) is of the swivel, office type which squeaks nt every movement. As the writing is almost continuous, 80 is the squeaking.
worrying about?
Japan's Socialists Gaining Strength
By RUSSE LL BRINES
On Wednesday it feels obliged to read itself and usually feels a fool. It is either ashamed of what it has
written, or it has made one of g
[out.
It is puer because for many years more than half its incomo has gone. directly to the Government.
It is also poor because it has spent the rest of its money on bad whisky, Last week it wrote "unearned in- good women, and cigarettes. Aport come" when it menat "eurned In- from the good women, this means come," and got mixed up in its geo- that most of its income has graphy. The week before it got the directly or indirectly to the Govern- соле story of the fox and the mixed up with wolves.
grapeament.
Slightly Left
When one of these mistakes is discovered the column goes hot li over and turns its crimson face to the wall, iis appetite for breakfast THE column's political views
Kone.
So Wednesday is normally a day for self-anolysis and abasement.
Which it should be, of course.
Material
are
Left, as observed by Sir David Maxwell Fyfe in the House of Com-
inons.
But it is not extreme. Left and it is not slavishly Left. It is as willing to offer criticism of the Left as it is to offer criticism of the Right.
It is Left mainly for two reasons. It belleves in a fairer distribution of WHE
WHEN the royal commission has wealth and is certainly suffering for exhausted Itself discovering its beljela. It does not believe in the facts about newspapers which are future of the Conservative Party restless attention to such trivialities future of hansom already known, It may turn Its any more than it believes In the as who writes columns, what they
caby write about and why.
It does not ask anybody to share. its beliefs. It must confess that It It will discover, by the normal doesn't care what any individual process observation and reasoning, believes. Moreover it doesn't bo that film columns are written about leve that its views, political or films, theatre columns about theatres, otherwise, have the alightest effect political columns about polities, and on the views of its readers,
so on.
If it can discover what this por ticular column is written about (and why) it will be a very clever com- mission indeed, because the column itself doesn't know.
It thinks that people's views are dictated either by their characters or the Impact of experience on their consciences. Facts, not opinion, will awaken their consciences,
Well, that's about all the column it is can tell the royal commission, about
It can only suggest that written about anything or nothing.trell, but mostly nothing. Its subject
The RC. might ask: "If you don't' material is the whole world, a fact think the column's views have any which makes it rather nervous. The effect on readers, why has it ex- vastness of its choice makes it in-pressed them?" The answer in that decisive and muy be the reason why it probably couldn't think of any- it puts things off till the last possible thing cise at the time. moment.
And if the B.C. wants to know if But when it is not writing about the column owns any shares in this The little man in Japan's cities lives, but both are expected to be itself as it is now, it Ilves rather newspaper or any other, the answer
neanly on other people's mistakes.is NO Mrs. MABEL J. KINGSBURY may push the country sharply to-defeated.
ward Socialism in મ
The Socialists clearly have ind! It waits, watching for others to slip quest for cated of Worthing has been dent for many
they intend to inaugurate up and make fools of themselves.
It has never owned any shares of
years.
any kind anywhere at any time. Socialism as quickly as possible upon She was thinking the other middle polities.
That's why it 2003 carefully day what she would choose If given When General MacArthur. ordered gaining power. However, this might through the parliamentary reports, its money just one chance to hear again. She the Government to hold a
not be with such thorough com-why It wears its eyes out reading newpleteness In Britain.-Associated the sillest things when it ought to general election within a few months, Press.
be reading good books. "After careful consideration I de- he recognised the growing reaction cided I would like to hear a good against the extreme conservatism of tenor singing that beautiful hymn the last two Cabinels. 'Lead Kindly Light.'"*
writes:-
What would you choose?
LET
us
M: hope that
Justice WROTTESLEY did not expect to be taken seriously when suggest ing that a "married" or "single" en- try on an identity card would help to reduce bigamy. A little faking
Except for keeping únsivit bureau- crits in jobs, identity cards are valueless and overdue for the scrap- heap.
That feeling is most articulate in Tokyo, but it is reflected in key cities of central and southwestern Honshu. "The people here," said one Military Government officiat, are "looking mainly for a middle The Conservatives are too slow for ground. them and the extreme Leftists ton wild."
The little man is expected to turn
und
is so easy, would stop no would-be in large numbers to the Social bigamist.
Democratic Porly, now third in in- fluence. It does not offer him the moderatism he wants, because it is divided into quarrelling Left Right wings. But the Socialists are generally closer to the middle. So- clalism itself will be less of an issue than individual economic security which the little man is now seeking reporter ERNIE fruitlessly, SPRING and nine other Rover Scouts made soltean covenant
OLD BAILEY
on
Many American military observera,
the hill at Kensal Rise: that "what-expect the Social Democrats to gain ever fortune, good or ill, befalls us enough power in the next election We meet on the brow of the hill, 20 at least to have a dominant volce in years henco."
the new Cabinet However, the rural areas probably will cling to the traditional Conservatism.
They should give the Government parties -Liberal and Progressive their major support..
Millary Government offcials ex- pect the Communists either to lose
That was at 7 pm. on December 23, 1928. All ten were there uguin, eight with wives..
According To Culbertson
(Copyright, 1947, by Ely Culbertson)
The slam contract in to-day's deal! depended on so small a card as on sight spot--and, of course, on good play.
South, dealer,
North-South vulnerable.
1
NORTH
54 8 2J72
• KJF 4938
WEST KJ 10 86 10 9 8 4
1.
+803
EAST
+97 VAKOBS
43
+10 7 4 2
SOUTII 4.503
AQ 10 B02 +AK
West opened his top heart. which certainly seemed to be the safest lead from his hand. Dummy's jack and East's kings were played, and South ruited. Right here, at the first trick, declarer was in possession of some highly interesting information. Ob- the lead of the heart ten Wils a "top-card lead"-West scarce- ly would have opened away from an ace-ten. Thus, East was absolutely marked with the heart ace, and the burning question became: who had the heart
eight?
With nothing to lose by the effort, declarer decided to play West for that important card. He went to dummy with n
trump and led the heart queen through East, who of course covered with the ace. (Other wise South would have discarded a spade then and there). South ruff. ed, returned to dummy with another trump, and ruffed the heart deuce. Now he cashed his three club tricks. ending In dummy, and hopefully led heart seven. When East failed to cover with the eight-for the best possible reason declarer knew he FROM the "Domestics Wanted" influence in the ballotting or to Although the contract was a trick was home. He nonchalantly dis- column of a Lincolnshire news-withdraw in favour of the Socialists, high for the combined holdings of carded his low spade, giving West with whom they eventually hope to North and South, it is difficult to the trick and walked for West's next form a joint front. Osaka, for in-criticise any individual bid. nine months, hornless, stance, elected two Communists to way, South came through with flying course, and this lead came up to de- Any-play. It could only be a spade, of doclle, from seven-pinter, £4. the current House of Representa colours.
clarer's major tenace.
paper:-
Nanny:
NANCY Nancy Makes It a Habit
WAA--BAWW
TAKE ME TO THE MOVIES, AUNT
FRITZI
·WAA ---
BAW--W
WA-A~ BAW-W
"The bidding:
West
North 3 diamond+ 2 spades 3 diamonds S Zat
• Chazoends Fans d'hon
OH, ALL RIGHT--* ANYTHING TO STOP THAT. CRYING
By Ernie Bushmller
it Ims told you wha! It does with
CROSSWORD
A4
P
1. Open taper tonng.). AUS
to the pots. 141
What you must do to the clue before you can solve it. 14)
11. Part of our rations. 141
13. Take care to compete in it. #4) 14. Trespass. {}
18. What makes a rein tear 7 (8) 17. Bolo. (4)
10, Feature, (8) round of the judges, Bea. branch of the Mediter renean. (6) 31. Dyre. 10, 4)
20
Down
it provides the mata fuere. (D) Not a short treatise or anything Is, it's mechanical, (7)
3. Bewitch and fol
6. What we are all waiting for. (8) 0. Achs for change, (4) 20 The robber's reward. (5), 10. Put of, (B) ·
13. They are on the other de, (7). 10. Burgess the 12.A.4 maiden
Doug. (5)
18. Draw. (3)
-Across
dont I. klopt ID; Tool; 25, proxy:
■ of yesterday's puzșie
13. Bat: 14, Beiss) 15, 0619gooal207, Jeres; 10. Grmikret (21 Ron; sdden 1924, Money Dawna 1, Prisoner
30-schs; 5. Enă; 4, Toys) 5. Nowoso.
2. Athine: Exbetan: 9. Pottifer: biaurre; 10. Arras; 16, Dim: 10, and
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