1947-02-05 — Page 2

SHOWING

TO-DAY

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 5,* 1947.

QUEEN'S

At 2.30, 5.15.

7.15 & 9.15 p.m.

POCKETĮ CARTOON

Love and Adventure

BENEDICT BOGEAUS

CAPTAIN KIDD

Charles Randolph JLAUGHTON · SCOTT

BARBARA BRITTON REGINALD OWEN

NEXT CHANGE

CARMEN MIRANDA CESAR ROMERO

ROMANCE!.

Week-End GAIETY

Havana

KRICOLOR

Cobian Wright, M.; George Barkier Shaldon Kecam Leonia Kinskay Chris-Fid Martie · By Gilbert A 20th Century-Fox Picture

SHOWING

TO-DAY

MUSIC

ALICE FAYE JOHN PAYNE

KINGS

At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.15 p.m.

J. ARTHUR rank PRESENTS:

WILLIAM HICKEY

Grief & Grievance

DISGRACING

private grief.

who

London are

batten

on

to

all

decency,

Case-hardened these smarties pester the bereaved.

They phone, write or call, trying with unctuous sympathy to rush through a deal while misery still sapn resistance and weakens argu- ment

A

Sitting on the Fence

S nobody seems to know what's going on in Russin, here is your Uncle Nat, always willing to obligo, with a little thing entitled "Behind the Iron

·Curtain."-

It is evening in Flonak and anow is plied high outside The Three Merry Moujiks, an ancient Tavern once burned down with everybody is it by Ivan the Terrible because the beer was flat.

Inside the tavern three men

are seated round the stone, They are Sergei Koutaogai, comedian, Ivan Avanother. Toral bar fly, and Peter Pushtheboatof), would-be TCTTU moujik.

Bergel: One mustn't make a joke now unless it is passed by the Kremlin.

by NATHANIEL GUBBINS

Sergel: I was just saying how wise. it in of the Kremlin to censor Jokes made about our splendid re- gime.

Ivan: Anybody who dares to crill- cise the glorious regime deserves to go to Siberku. Officer: That's where they go. Ivan: It is lucky Stalin hins a sense Peter: Ha ha. That is very funny.

of humour.

Ha ha.

Sergel He has not passed any of Officer: Pipe down, moujik.

my Joltes.

Ivan: That's what I mean.

Peter: Ha ha. That is very funny.

Ha ha.

Sergel: Shut up, you fool.

Peter: I have cold all my eggs in the black market. Another vodka all round.

Ivan: Make them doubles,

Consider one case which hap- Serret:

a widower published

I wonder what they are doing now in the decadent demo- cracies?

Sergel: We were saying how fer

rible it must be in the decadent democracies.

Ivan: Compared to the wonderful freedom and plenty for all in our kindly and benevolent Mother Rus- sia.

known

Without going into the well-worn argument that dogs are popular be cause they flatter the vanity of re- pressed people who cannot attract love or command obedience from any other creature, nil the evidence seems to prove that crookes, cads, saints and murderers alike are all capable of loving dogs, who love them some times for the rennon given above, but more often because they and dogs companionable, amusing and foolish. Particularly because they are foolish,

the

It is also true that dogs bestow, their affections impartially on said crooks, eads, saints and mur- derers. This may be because dogs do not judge us as men judge us. Crimes against society mean nothing to them. that they do not judge us by any What is more important is

standard, not even by our behaviour towards them. They can show equal devotion to those who treat them well and to those who treat them bad- jy,

oficer: The microphone

what you said. Sergel: The microphone? Ivan: The microphone? Officer: The one behind your head. much rustler than the average man, I have tried, without being down- right rude, to show dogs that I have no use for their society.

pened recently.

The tiny the announcement of his loss three Ivan: The decadeal Americans are Peter: Ha....

estate agents rang up to inquire if the house was for sale.

VIVIEN LEIGH CLAUDE RAINS] B3

Stewart Granger

Flora Robson

Francis L. Sullivan

Basil Sydney

And a Cast

Of Thousands

in

George Bernard

Shaw's Famous Play

"CAESAR and CLEOPATRA”

It's a Temptation In Technicolor Produced and Directed by GABRIEL PASCAL

Your eyes have never seen such lavish splendour, such won-

'drous spectacle on the screen before.

Released By Eagle-Lion Distributors

ORIENTAL

FINAL SHOWING TO-DAY: 2.30-5.157.15-9.15 P.M. SEE boaat-clawed leopard men prey on follow-humans! MEET their beautiful high priestess, pledged to kill!

FACE of a SIREN...HEART of a FIEND! Queen of the beast-claw mon

swom to mordor Tarzani

LOGAR RICE BURROUGHS'

TARZAN Leopard Woman

AND THE

ERING JOHNNY WEISSMULLER BRENDA JOYCE JOHNNY SHEFFIELD • AC034METIA

COMMENCING TO-MORROW: "KEEP 'EM FLYING"

TO-DAY

ONLY

At 2.30, 5,20,

7.20 &

MAJESTIC 220 9.20pm

THEY'RE THE NAUGHTIEST IN THE 90'S!

Bud: ABBOTT & Lau COSTELLO

in

THE "NAUGHTY NINETIES"

* ་་,

with Alan CURTIS

A Universal Pictura. TO-MORROW

DON AMECHE· * CLAUDETTE COLBERT.

in "GUEST WIFE"

SHOWING TO-DAY —

CATHAY A 2.0, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.15 p.m.

IUANCHAI ROAD WANCHASE

Tyrone POWER

Maureen

· O'HARA in the

"BLACK SWAN"

with: Thomas MITCHELL- George SANDERS

A 20th Century-Fox Picture

EFORE the funeral took place two jewellers, three second-hand clothes dealers and two furniture dealers had written or called, {{£n- other estate ngent pestered by telephone.

Gulminess of the letters empha string "discretion" and "nobody will know" was revolting. Having a man to deal with, cailers left with

ecremony: a widow is easier

out

game.

Surely this is

the lowest form of money grabbing in a world full of rackets.

P.O. record room has found the Joriginal minute authorising the addition of three cats to the staff. 1 This is the precedent for feeding post office cals from ofcial funds.

Dated 1808, it reads.

"Three cats may be allowed on probation. They must undergo a test examination. It is important! that the cats be not overfed, and I cannot allow more than 1s.

week for their support. They must depend on mice for the remainder of their emoluments,"

OPECULATION about designs for really new cars seems agreed that the next motoring milestone will be goodbye to the gear-box.

Gearless

caling three meat meals a day..

Sergel: In decadent England the less Prime Minister Attlee ents than the coal miner, the fisherman, and the sert who works on the land..

All: Shut up, will you? Omeer to Berzel: So. For the next few years you can try to be funny in Siberia. (To Ivan): And for the next few years you can try to find a bar in a salt mine.

nil

Ivan: They say that even the Minis-

ter of Food in decadent England Peter: Ha ha. This is too funny; eals less than the common work- Let's have another vodka Inan.

round. Sorgel: What's

the use of being Minister of Food if you can't eat more than anybody else?

Ivan: Ha he. That is very funny,

too. Ha ha.

Sergel: Shut up, you cled. Peter: I have sold all my pigs to the Secret Police. Let's have another

vodka all round.

Ivan: Make them doubles, Sergel: So what am I to do? I mustn't make any jokes about the regime which, you must admit, would make people laugh if their half empty stomachs were not awash with cabbage soup,

Ivan: You can still make jokea,

Why, dear Pig, dogs even like me. Although I am no njeer and

not

04

When they follow me about, they often do, I have tried to ignore them. Relying on their famed intel- Ilgence I have sometimes bent down and told them in the plainest pos- sible terms that I don't like

being followed wagged their tails and continued to about. They have only

follow me about,

"Well, one of the papers then?”

"Yes."

"Do you mind if I tell yON DOME- thing?"

It depends what it is”

"You're not going to le £1,"

"Aren't I?"

"I expect, you'll hit me whe tell you."

I

"I don't suppose I shall

"You'll hate me anyway."." "Not at all."

"You're sure you're Mr Gubble?". "Yes,"

the papers?"

"And you write articles or one of

"Yea."

"Do you lutow them?"

"No."

"Pime."

what I think

of

"I'm sorry you think so.” "Piffic, piffle, piffic. That's strateïst from the shoulder, isn't it?

"It certainly ta”

"I'm not a words,"

"Obviously."

man that

"John Blunt, that's me."

"Glad to meet you, Mr Blunt." "And that's not my proper manc, neither."

"'lan't it?"

"Mr Clever."

"Clever's not my name ofther," "So don't try to be funny." "I'm not."

"I don't let nobody take a rico out of me."

of you,"

"I'm not trying to take a rise out "Knybody wants to come the eld

me they know what to "I'm sure they do.”

Officer: Because you sold all your have tried to conceal my nausea, if When they have licked my hand i pigs to the Secret Police?

only to spare their feelings. Once when a dog licked my hand I washed It in front of the dog, hoping it would peet, see the point. But when I had dried my hand on the, towel the fool only alicked it again.

Fan mail

THIS week's criticism from my persistent correspondent who ways begins his letters "Dear Pig" as follows:

Dear Pig,

I see you never miss a chance attack dogs as you did about the Bernards biting a girl on a tan.

is

All of which seems to Indicate, dear Pig, that dogs are not only hopeless judges of character, in- capable of criticising us, but are hope- to cusly unsnubbable, a sure sign int Sthey are also too stupid and insensi

tive to criticise themselves.

MOT-

You are doing yourself no good by these cowardly attacks on man's best friend as everybody knows that only nice men like dogs and vice versa. It is the same with children,

about the decadent democracies. Sergel: But I have done it so often. People do not laugh any more at my very funny sketch of WELL, dear Pig, would like to a drunken English lord benting his point out first that on this occa- ¡ starving gardener to death in hission I did not attack dogs. moated castle.

The dogs attacked a girl. I did no more than express sorrowful surprise

could betray the them.

As for children, they can grew fond with them and keep them amused. of any man who will play games They wouldn't care if he had just cheated a widow out of her inheri tance or murdered his grandmother.

In fact I will go further. I will say that they would prefer a man who had just murdered his grand- mother..

Inconstant reader

of the that dogs of such high reputation "You

Ivan: Try a funnier one

drunken wife of an American mil- lionaire beating her husband to death because he can't buy her an- other luxury yacht.

Peter:

trust placed in

Regarding your other point that "only nice men like dogs and vice

I think this is debatable.

Ha ha. That is too funny versa." for words. Ha ha.

ears-accelerator brake pedals only-are now

and Serget: Quiet, kayseed. being built in Britain as well as in America, and the lead la bound to be followed when more-manufacturers have 10 slop exporting prewar models and con get around to planning something new,

the

The development is overdue: it was long before. the war when I helped to show

paces of a gearless car for the frst time to British Association

engineers in Cambridge, nearly went through the windscreen when

the dater- mined-to-be-thorough young prest- dent of the university

motor club unexpectedly slood on everything at 70 m.p.h. to try to stall the engine.

But I am old enough to have a sneaking regret for the gear-box before it was simplified by nynchro- mesh.

That wonderful glow of satis faction following a snappy change- down belongs to tho nearly forgot- ten days when motoring was fun.

THE Stationery Office has issued a new "Register of Temporary. Laws" now in force.

The first one was passed in 1701 to set up the. Bank of Ireland.

Temp O'Rary?

"OLLECTED

by reader BRIGHT, of Plymouth-

J.

Sult diplomat-Cheyne-gardens, Chelsea, glorious luxury house. Adam mantles and period staircase. Central hating.

Peter: I have sold all my milk to

have another vodka ull round. the Minister of Agriculture. Let's

Ivan: Make them doubles,

(Enter an officer of the Secrèt Police).

arc Mr Gubbins, aren't

you?"

"Yes,"

"The one that writes for the New of the World?"

"No."

According To Culbertson

(Copyright, 1947, by Ely Culbertson)

Altogether:

Good evening, sir. East had the chance to make a What a terrible night, sir. Take very fine defensive play in to-day's your cont off, str. Have a drink, deal, but habit was too strong for sir. Sit down, sir.

him.

Officer: Stay where you are..

Rupert and Ninky-27

Rupert wanders about disconso lately in the snow telling Edward all about his troubles, bui Ninky has guite diasppeared, so he trudges home and sadly tells his mother the whole disappointing story. "I did so want to find out why he jumped,” be whispers." Well, I shouldn't cry about it,” says Mrs. Bear.

**You still my Gnd out where he has gone, and why. If the little plane took him away the little plane may bring him back again. So cheer up."

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED,

NANCY Maybe Ho Itches: Too

DIS NEW WOOLEN UNDERWEAR IS. MAKIN' ME ITCH LIKE. CRAZY

DIS 15 AWFUL

North, dealer.

North-South vulnerable.

NORTH

4K 75

43

AKJ

49 3 1 0 4

EAST J 10 3 KQJ62 +90 2

WEST 804%

+7543 4A75

SOUTH AQD

A 10 0 8

⚫Q 10 B

The bidding:

dub

Yan

Houth ruto trama

Weat properly opened the seven of hearts, and East put up the jack. South wisely refused to win this trick, but took the next trick with the heart ace when East continued by leading the heart king.

South counted his tricks and saw that he needed at least one club to make his game contract. Hence ho properly led a club at once. No. defence could defeat him, for the enemy could not bring in the long heart sult. If West won the first round of clubs, he could not lead a heart (for he had already played both of his hearts). And if East won the first club trick, he could set up his hearts but could never regain the lead to cash his heart tricks. Declarer therefore scored game and rubber.

E

Just because I said your articles was pime,"

"I assure you I don't mind❤ "Yes you do."

"Really, I don't.”

"Perhaps you think I'm no judget" "No, I don't think so”.

"Then why don't you mind?" "You can't mind everything."

as anybody else's?"

"I suppose my opinion's is good "Certainly,"

about anything I shall say it,"

"And I want to say anything "Why not?"

"It's a free country, isn't it?". More than most." "Pifle."

"All right, piffle," "Mr Clever." "Mr Blunt."

"Pife, plfe, plme.”

CROSSWORD

.

כין

20

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Acron

You

can't call them

homea (DI

&

it node od to appeal to women, (4)

1

River that sounds as though

You can get him from 321 Besar, 107

10 Mock 17)

19 trip of teather. 44)

14. Bort of thing to make the cat

do. (3)

10. Mow round the nosterry, 17. In the mund it is a cover

1 Depast.)

di

19. Just the one to `start thoughtful

consideration. tes

291. Dame, cos

A

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East made his mistake at the Best; trick. When his partner led the seven of hearts, it should have been obvious that South held all the higher hearts-and consequently two sura heart tricks. There was South's jump to two no trump was chance to beat the contract if West a trifle aggressive, but he felt that could gain the lead while he still held one no trump was far too weak a a Heart. Therefore East should have bid. A pensity double was perhaps played the six of hearts at the first his best bet, and this course would trick South would win and lead bave netted him a safe 300 points, clubs, but West would be able to win As it turned out, however, South's the first club and lead his remaining aggresalve bidding got him to a heart. This would set up the heart doubtful game contract which insult for East, and eventually ho accurate defence allowed hlm to would get in with his club king to fulfil.

run his hearts.

I'M GETTIN' TO HATE TH' WINTER

HOW DO YOU STAND IT ALL YEAR 'ROUND?.

On the dot" in other words.

The Inscription

A book. 4)

L2

át lös er ch

1. Mout icing tonag.). (D)

When time meant everything to Cinderella. 48)

d. Run a gem and make » Diasi.

181

4. ABima money 101

. They are gind when their watch

stop.

Au even alternative. B

D. Try a lie chan

Do they mean using their Arade

to win the boas reonY 18! 10.Ory 141

10 It may elerate on ainow descent,

depends

which

you w

volna. (4) 20 bubriento

15. Busch and Judy; o. Operitta:

·|10, Trend: 11, 044; 13. Grð, 14. Danray; 1160 Bar (7 and 20, Powder-pull? Noble: Vs. Redlaned; dễ, Randers: Downi 1. Potpourri 4. Crab & Bledge. A Daddy. 3. Ben 1. Acrois; 1. "Prianser:

14. Oppor

By Ernie Bushmiller

-KANISC

When You Feel Tired and Restless

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