1941-03-22 — Page 12

12

DAMON

writes

Saturday,

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH

March 22,

1941.

RUNYON

a toast to ENGLAND-

New York:

DEAR SIR, Last night after the movies I

take my wife Ethel to Grogan's for a couple of beers and while she is sitting there Ethel ses I ses all right Joe I am going to make a loust. beautiful. I ses who is the toast to? She ses it is to Mr and Mrs Joe Turp of England, be- cause they are so brave. I ses, now just a minute, Ethel. I ses, I never heard of any Turps in England. I ses all the Turpa I know of are right here in Brooklyn and I can't think of any that rate any metals for being brave so far, not even myself.

Ethel ses well Joe I don't mean somebody in England by

exactly the same name as ours. I mean people there

like us.

all

the

I mean

the ones those

louses are bomb. ing.

I ses look here Ethel, Ines, that

JOE and ETHEL

66 no matter how brave the big

people are it would not do any good if

the little people were not

does not sound like a nice word do the rest of

the work that

for you to be using and where little people always do, did you get it anyway?

Joe let's have some more beers

still braver

99

see which one gets you and I hope for your sake it is not my husband Joe because he is ter- ribly strong.

The guy ses wait a minute' Kentlemen maybe I did not un- derstand just what you were discussing because I only heard a few words. Would you mind- telling ine more about it because I only heard a few words. wrong in maybe I was in the coming up to your party and if so I will apologise.

Ethel ses f will tell you about it myself Mister Schmalz. We was drinking my tonsts to the

little people of England for be

ing so brave. Schmalz zes yes

can see I misunderstood your

conversation all right and I am sorry. This is a beautiful toast. Ethel ses well if you think so She ses i can spell the some much of it you can order some

1 ses thing out for you Joe!

more beers and I will make un- rwer mind spelling it either.

other one and you can drink it other toast, and we will go home, tral.

If you are those fellows I ses all right baby but when

Just then Grogan comes over will go right on matching for my Pups always calls the Nazi

to our table and ses what's up you. fellows. Sometimes he calls did you figure all this out? Ethel

"Nazi fellows. Sometimes ses O, I have been reading news with the Turps here anyway? the

stinkers and papers and thinking things over Ethel ses hello Put, we are drink. Schmalz ses certainly certain- sometines he calls them krau- and talking to my Pops. My ing my tousts to the little people ly certainly by all means let's iheads, but usually he just calls Pops ses if those loases were of England for being so brave, have another toast. So Grogan them louses. He calls them dropping hot apples on Brooklyn something else too hut 1 guess and knocking our houses to gan ses well have one on the and me and Schulz sit down pieces and making us sleep in joint and I will drink to that at the table with Ethel and when you would not like to hear it.

subways and holes in the ground myself. They certainly are a the waiter brings more beers we it would make no difference how stand-up bunch, They certain- All stand and Ethel ses listen to he ought to be ashamed of him- brave Mayor La Guardia or the have got plenty guts if you my toust now and everybody

that's what my Pops ses Pat; self using words like that in Rockefellers and other big people will pardon me Ethel. She ses must give it after me.

She ses why Jor that is what i 1 will make another tonst, ses go ahead and make your with us unless you are too neu-

he calls them

I ses I guess not. Ethel, so

is no such word as louses.

}

scared,

Here's to the Hille people of

front of you, and anyway there were if little people like us were only he ses bowels. Grogan ses England.

There would be no one it's the same thing and Ethel ses to keep things going Joe.

well listen to my tonst now be-

ses maybe he means lices

Ethel ses no he means louses.

Grogan and me and Schmalz

I ses Ethel I wish you would fore Joe gets mad at thoses the same thing and then Grogan ses yes and to hell with It is a word of his own, but he not use that word any more and words.

Here's to little people of Eng- Hitler and he keeps looking at does not use those words in she ses excuse me Joé I was just front of me Joe, he uses them telling you what my Pops ses. land, may their shadows never to hell with Hitler too. Then · in front of my Moms. But of You ought to hear my Pops talk grow less.

Those little people in course you can hear him all over about

talk Joc.

}

Schmalz until the guy finally ses

Schmalz runs out of the joint like somebody is after him.

guy comes over to us and

the house because he is getting England. Yes, he takes off his deaf and if he does not talk so hat to people who can have their WILE we are drinking a big lond he cannot hear himself talk. roofs knocked in on top of them ses you folks should not be mak- ETHEL and I go home and when she is going to bed 1 My Pops loves to hear himself and then come wriggling out of ing talk like that it is not

ruins and go right back on their neutral. 1 ses who is neutral ses beautiful it's a cinch that jobs. He ses people who can do around here? He ses well I am Kuy isn't very brave and she ses no Joe I guess he is too neutral. 508 who are you WELL, let's drink my toast. that have got plenty of bowels for one.

Here's to the little people Joe, especially when they do not buddy? ile ses my name is He would not do over there of England for being so brave, have a chance to fight those Schmalz and I am a citizen of among little people of England. Do you remember what Gro- So we drink our beers and I uses back. He ses no some the United States and it is folks

Joe? ses that was a fine toast Ethel things on earth can lick people like you who will get this coun- kan ses after I make my toast I mean about Hitler. I try in the war by such talk. but I guess the big people over like that.

Grogan ses Joe I will match yes Ethel and I was glad you there are pretty brave too. She.

I hate to hear you use those ses yes doc, int no matter how Do you want me to tell you the you for this fellow. I ses well did not join in that one because somethings Joe? I ses 1 Pat I saw him first but I always words. She ses well there is no brave the big.people are it would not do any good if little people don't Ethel and you cannot have like to be fair so you toss a coin

reason why I can't think it is I ses i think and I will end it. Then Grogan there Joe? not still braver because but one more beer, There are not enough big people that other one has gone to your takes a quarter out of his pocket to count much. There are not head from the way, you-talk-I-and-is-going-to-flip it up in the Ises goodnight Ethel. She enough big people to get out and ses I am really surprised at your air when the guy ses to Ethel ses goodnight Joc. Here's to rons things like trains and cle- language and you will have to what are they matching for? little people of England.—yours

Ethel ses they are matching to truly, Joe Turp. vators and to mind stores and stop Estening to your Pops.

were

Do

THE NAZIS' DREAM CAR

the Germans ever turn the motorisation of the their money over formasses.'

From their subscriptions of dation stone of the projected 400,000,000 marks a year. the Volkswagen factory. It was to Front provided 50,000,000 be the biggest in the world, with luck, I wonder, as they take

But where is it now? The marks capital. The netual pro- a final peak production of 1,500,-

to be fooled by a 000 cars cover from the R.A.F.? If Fuhrer himself outlined the duction was

a year, an output they do, it must give them preliminary designs on his "pay before you get it" insta- greater than Ford's. yet another cause for deep Berchtesgaden drawing munt plan forbidden to private and bitter reflection. board.. It was to have been enterprise. Every resource of A Huge Swindle

the Propaganda Ministry was Two'years ago six million a 10 h.p. bluegrey limousine devoted to putting over show, amid broad smiles, all the

the

At the 1939 Berlin motor

credulous German workers with an air-cooled engine scheme in a big way.

Nazi chieftains examined the Six million fell for it, and first factory model, with its er- began to pay five shillings a at the rear, capable of 62 week from their meagre m.ph, and 40 miles to the agreed to pay five marks a week atz upholstery and buna tyres. with savings stamp cards. Af Foreigners in Germany in the pre-war years who ventured to wages for a motor car to be gallon. ·

fer payment of 750 marks, the criticise the Nazi regime grow delivered at the millennium

buyer was to get a voucher en tired of that unfailing reply,

Volkswagen." titling him to a car when the fac- "Ah, but wait until you see the tory was able to deliver it.

Last year was to have seen At first the full purchase price the delivery of the first 100,000 included insurance for two models. Production was to have a week in years, free garage and periodic increased to 4000

22

--and they are still paying. Juggling With Prices

To his "co-designer," Dr Every year since 1933

Ferdinand Porsche, of the Hitler had been telling the, German people of the old Austro-Daimler works, Hitler emphasised the need "Strength Through Joy' Volkswagen which was to transform the Reich into a nation of happy motorists. The Volkswagen was to

Hitler's own contribu prove tion to Germany's resur- gence.

Accord-

in a family car for expan- overhauling. Presently the basic 1941, and 250,000 throughout (sive body room. It was to price at the factory came to be 1942.

have taken four or five 990 marks, with a delivery cost Where are the cars? people to the far ends of of 50 marks, and 200 marks in- ing to Hansjurgen Koehler, Germany on next to nothing, surance for two years. With pay- former linison officer between ment fixed at 1240 marks, there the Gestapo and the Labour The car was to have cost no further talk of free Front, they were never meant to appear. It became imperative garage or overhaul..

that the Ministry of Economica should have an extra income of But still the subscribers went

30,000,000 marks a week, and

990 marks. Priced at £80 overseas, it was, to have

Was

It was to improve the flooded the world. When on paying. There was no alter- Under-Secretary Brinkman, Ley, living standard of the poor, the German motor industry native. Cancellation of the order and others jokingly proposed It "challenged capitalism, declared itself unable to pro- forfeits the amount paid in in the scheme of the People's Cur. because it recompensed the)

duce such a car at the price, all but the most exceptional people for their surrender even if some twenty firms cases, and even then 20 per cent. of personal liberty by pooled their resources, Hit. is retained. emulating capitalism's mostler angrily transferred the I was at Fallersleben in May 1988, when Hitler laid the foun- spectacular achievement-task to the Labour Front.

It has meant anything be-

000.000 marks for the Nazi war chest.

tween 3,000,000,000 and 6,000,-

Harold A. Albert

"This is all wrong!

But- H.B.'s all right!"

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