1940-07-12 — Page 4

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The South China Morning Post, Ltd., is receiving subscriptions to

Friday.

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH.

July 12, 1940.

FUNNY SIDE UP

By Abner Dean

WHEN

GONE ENGLAND

LAUGHS

ARE THE HORSE

AND CARRIAGE

And Goan with them are the old-fashioned methods of wax- ing the carriago.

Have you been using the same auto wae for yours.. simply through force of habit? Don't use a horse and carriage auto wax.

It is no longer necessary to work all day, to wear yourself' ou!... to RUB and RUB. in order to attain a waterprooL weather resisting wax finish for your car.

Try WHIZ LONDON COACH WAX for longer lasting beauty for your automobile and loss work for you. Your waxing troubles, like the horse and buggy, will be

Gone

Sold Here HONGKONG HOTEL

GARAGE

Stubbs Rd.

Hongkong Gelegraph.

Friday, July 12, 1940. Wyndham St., Hongkong Telephone: 20015

THE prefix "Special to the Telegraph" is used by the "Hongkong Telegraph' to indicate now, which is strictly copyright under the provisions of the Telecommuni callous Ordinance, 1930. Buch www sa bears the indicadèn “UP" is received in Hongkong on the date of publication by the United Press Associations, who re- serve all rights and forbia robublication, elther wholly or in part without previous

Fangment.

Stop The Four Columns

we

President Vargas of Brazil is right in saying that the world is marching toward a future different from all

have known. But he is wrong in his apparent assumption that free government is outmoded and that the future belongs to force and nationalism. Plainly democracy must adjust itself to new condi- tions, must make itself more effective in the economic and so cial life of peoples. But there is nothing new in the doctrine that "vigorous peoples, fit for life must follow the route of their aspirations."

YNICS say that to under- Communist Party, I happen to know

necessary to listen to his jokes, however painful that experience I may be:

for this country.

The daily, or rather hourly, re- talling of such stories certainly rea veals the modern Englishman's grip Certainly the attllude of the man of trends in international politics, as In the street towards the present war they display his capacity for "smiling cannot be better. Illustrated than by at grief." Perhaps one of the most

features

of this war to date! evacuation of

the type of popular humour that has rate the necessary ev

much discomfort and malad-

much

strain on the

been evoked. As a student of the has been little things that conjointly make up large sections of the city populations. social history. I have been particular There has been much anguish at

Interested to observe the trend partn of that humour, and its brave signi- Пcances.

nces. After a long experience of patience of countryfolk. But all has the overscas Briton in particular, his been tempered by a running com broad smile and emotional vagarles, mentary of characteristic good hum I have been greatly impressed by the our. home-dweller's wholly Individual reaction.

For instance, there is the chestnut)

(aiready) of the East End mother:

For instance, the man who seized who counselled her small son: "Tell me by the arm soon after the de-, your teacher that you don't want to

•ABNER DEAN

Cope, that by titled Fiators Bradigala, Saa.

cost of marrying the prospect's daughter!"

British Life in A

Submarine

claration of war, to confide the news' be evacuated. You had a sore arm" I don't like this item on your expenso account, Pogson...... $300, that Hitler was in hospital us, a re- fast ume, ren

remember." Then there is sult of falling over a Pole in the the yarn of the little ind who had Corridor, was not displaying a flip. been taken to

country house,

and. pant mind. Rather was he letting as he was led up the magnificent, me know that war held no terrors tree-lined drive, suddenly burst into

tears.

"I don't want to

L In for him. Thus humour is the Eng-

forest."* Eshman's armour against adversity. forest,"

he rupited to sympathetic query- And yet another youngster told his country host

that the War will not last long now." On being pressed for a reason, he continued: Well, father has just been called up for the Army, and mother says he never keeps a job for longer than a contempt rather than month." violent hatred for the Nazi lender. Only the other day a friend of and for the lend-

mine entered into ing members of

conversation with. bis entourage, hasi been Jally ex- pressed by a mul illude

It is extremely signifeant, how ever, that a large proportion of the war-time jokes have been directed ogainst Hliler personally.

Humorous

of quips,

jests, saying and

even popular

songs, reminiscent

by

D. COWIE

that her

and

1 small "eyseure"!

during A journey. The child spoke very serously about the progress of the wat. but of the ballads on "Boney at the sald

brother knew for time of the Napoleonic wars. Songs more about it than she did. #He as "Run, Adolf, Run," have indicated reads all the papers and knows all better than any political analysis about them foreign

countries what is the spirit of the common what they're up to. You should hear Englishman.

man. The Alimax of this type him talk to me Moother aboot it. of humour was undoubtedly reached

Argue, argue all day long."

My in the first days of the war, when a friend enquired as to the learned

paper published full-page brother's

"Oh, just turned seven," replied the little girl, I my in the style of "Price on his Head" self discussed the war with a sturdy advertisements Issued by the pollee. iad of nine,and foolishly committed One of the most popular radio pro- myself to the opinion that it might grammes weekly retalls the adven- not last so very long. "Ah, but we tures of "Ililma" and his confederates paid exactly the same thing in 1914, Funk. Fusspot and Bodkin; while didn't we?" he instantly replied. popular

already inbeis "fatty

Pscriptions of the Nazi "Big Fou

and

☆

☆

where they germans now know ing guild, have undoubtedly helped!

THE submarine, originally, control room; the helmsman, was intended to act the part of who is always awaiting orders a mobile mine field, but early from the Captain in the conning proved these tower, and tow others looking experience soon deadly underwater craft to be after the hydroplanes and with major weapons of Naval offen- eyes fixed upon the diving sive warfare, attacking war- gauges. Theirs is a colossal ships and enemy commercial responsibility-the safety of their fellows depending upon transport.

It submarine their absolute efficiency.

Laymen think

crews lead an unnatural and must be remembered that n unhealthy life. While too-long submarine is very delicately a spell, necessitated by naval balanced, and when submerged action. resting on the sea-bed must keep on a spirit-loval keel.. and living in a confined space where the air becomes pretty foul, is temporarily unhealthy, it la no more unnatural to work in a submarine than it is down a mine.

THE engine-room staff are expert mechanicians, all highly trained in every type of Diesel and electric machinery.

Of these two fields of essential The speed of submarines when national service working under- submerged varies from 9 knots seas in a submarine is generally upwards with a surface speed of a far more comfortable job than from 12 knots to 25 knots in the working down a mine, and has case of the newest type of craft.

such a contrast-

ing varitey of

mental occupa-

tions that the

-by

All the mac- hinery is easy

to handle, and when in action.

submariner SPITHEAD the men stand

on

"little Goebbels"

THEN there is the case of the But the story of the Cockney charwoman who enquired if it were small evacuee who was asked to true that Hitler had once been a write an essay on living in the painter and decorator is perhaps the country, and who said: "It does most revealing of the attitude of the seem odd not having any pave- common folk. On receiving on

But I sup affirmative answer, the said reflective- ments to walk on. ly: "Hm, yes, EO's

my husband, pose country people have not got matched, indeed, by the yarn about They're all the same," This is only so much money as Londoners."

for-hours by-a. Possibly it was the same child who foregts-his- sur- the newspaper seller in Ludgate informed her teacher that thei rounding's

wheel, a lover,. Circus, who exhorted the passers-by: Equator was "a Maginot Line run through concentration "Here you are good laugh for a ning round the world."

the or a switch, in tense concentra- intricate machinery he uses. His tión awaiting orders from the penny. Hitler's speech in full" Storles like these, circulating in lifo on board is lived with executive officers, and which.

Commenting on

a remark by club and bar, wardens' post and sew-

machines and scientific apparn they repeat to make sure they There is nothing new in har- Goebbels that

tus, London bus England to bear the minor hardships

have heard correctly, barism, despotism, and pagan conductor is rumoured to have said: of the war.

Even the "black-out" Service aboard submarines, In war, life aboard a sub- ism. Indeed they are so anti-"Yes, in a queue waiting for three- each night has not unduly ressed while it is hazardous task under marine is an exacting and quated that nations in which quarters of an ounce of synthetic a 1

a people who can extract fun from fea." It was another Cockney who the most uncomfortable restrictions,

war conditions, has never lacked anxious task. Hunting, and' Christianity and enlightenment passed on the information that the "Put out that light shouts on A.R.P. volunteers. In spite of the being hunted, they are always. have

High Command been really established German

would

warden to a a weary householder, who mishaps that have marked the facing death. On the surface shortly issue have

report on the flooding replies patiently "That's the moon, outgrown them. Only of the Siegfried Line, to be entitled mister."

progress of the submarine, there they are targets for bombs from And the worden beilowE; where governments do not dare made of the Paris report that, where-

"Mein Dampf." And

And much has been “I don't care what it is. Put it quli"

is always a waiting list of fast-moving aircraft, or the. to let their citizens know or as 34 Inmates

I can vouch myself for the incident volunteers willing to serve and quick-firing guns of their tradi- of a Saar lunatic concerning a member of the Police undertake intensive special tional enemy, the destroyer; speak the truth is it possible to asylum declared themselves to be Reserve, on duty for the first time,

m training in Hitler before the war, only 12 still who roused a householder to point

mental efficiency when submerged they are the. keep dictatorship and aggression claimed that doubtful distinction out that his windows

and in physique.

prey of mines and of the dreaded were inade- going even temporarily. Re- once war was declared,

quately darkened. Afterwards thej Submarine crews are all pick- depth charge. The latter weapon crudescences of despotism fight

M

amateur constable politely took his ed men, who must possess the has been mainly responsible. leave, apologising for any trouble he against an unquenchable, over. AT least twenty people in all might have caused.

makings of a first-class physique for the destruction of so many Just an poiltely, the householder

before acceptance for training. of Germany's U-Boats. Caught remarked that lic.

of personal efficiency on the surface the crow have a hor Vargas cannot tolerate tell me the story about the 100% violence and disorder in his own his German guide: "I see that

Russian in Berlin who says to back to front.

policeman was

cera of ships in which volunteers when their craft is submerged country; modern invention is fast Hitler Strasse is late Bismarck unburdened herself of mines have previously served is vital, and meets a depth charge, well THE FUND TO ASSIST rendering the world too small a Strause, and Stalin Strasse is unbindened her punte write a leher and no man who is not mentally aimed, death is practically

place to tolerate the inter-late Friedrich Strasse." Where to Mr. Chamberlain at once, it is alert, dependablo and loyal, and certain. national anarchy his reign of upon the Berliner replies: "That about those horrid people next-door of good temper, would be con- Defeating a depth charge is a BRITAIN'S WAR EFFORT.

who leave their washing out ali force would bring.

is so, comrade, late Bolshevik night. It makes such a splendid sidered, however physically fit. matter of expert underwater sea- acum."

target for the enemy." And after

☆

manship, when the Captain The fact that the head of the "But there is a slightly different the raids on the Forth a flood of

navigates his craft away from THE "submariner" is The whole of the money subscribed is largest Nation in Latin America ring to the reported conversation. In "pawky" stories descended from the

▸ Regent Street bus between `n

North.

the scene of operation and One concerned the reason

definite breed, and before train danger. Submarines are fitted. can come out at this crisis with woman who was expressing strong why the sirens

were not sounded

ing must possess the essentials with scientific apparatus which being handed to The Government of such a support of totalitarianism views on Moscow and the weedy con- during the first rald. It was alleged

ductor who eventually replied: "I that Scotsmen never took cover save of this special type before being enables them to listen when sub. ought to be a warning to every can assure you, madam, as a member during hospital tag days. And Hongkong for transmission to

merged to the passing of surface- lover of free government. This of the Wandsworth branch e the naturally the occupants of the train signed on.

One of a crew, yet he must be craft, and the accuracy of proceeding over the Forth Bridge at could not have happened before

the time of the raid did not disem- highly individualised, for in his judgmont of the rating on Nazi and Fascist might overran mind will decide that wrong is had paid their fares for the cross Some elements of the human bark on the southern side. They THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT

work, under stress of cir- duty often determines the course. free nations. Their display of right if only it is supported by journey, and did not want to risk

cumstances, he may be called the Caplain takes in piloting his power has encouraged every dis- enough force.

having to pay them again."

upon temporarily to take com- craft away from destruction. mand. Ho must be a man of For the Purchase of Aeroplanes or such other satisfied and undemocratic ele-] Fifth Columns are of little

* Armaments as the British Government may decide, ment in the world.

dangor unless backed by the four

sterling character, who while THERE is no doubt now that columns of force.. But if re- the Englishman can find a joke his fellows to act at all times happy and contented shipmates,

at sea, can be depended upon by YET officers and crew are. There are people even in thegimes dedicated to force con- to temper any hardship. Donations will be received by The South China United States who influenced tinue. to triumph, Fifth Columns

with absolute efficiency: they leading lives of give-and-take, A waiter remarked in my hearing

rely upon him for the safety of and sharing datigers with a cate Morning Post. Cheques should be made payable to by the military successes of will spring up everywhere. So were doing their best to banish gloom their lives. Each man has his free abandon born of training

even newspapers brutalitarianism have begun the four and the Aith will dis- "War Fund South China Morning Post Limited." to say, "Well, the Nazis have integrate. That means that publish weather reports and racing lead to the loss of the whole In the larger British sub-

from

their pages by omitting to own job, and a mistake might and habit. calmly but vigorously, nations results. It was pointed out after the All donations will be acknowledged in the columns cracy isn't so efficient. Maybe toward rule by reason must des had thereby, been increased to 14s. twenty-seven in the small Unity cabins, and crew as much space got something. Perhaps demo- which have made some progress Budget that since the "cost of living submarine's crow," numbering marines officers have very small of The S. C. M. Post & The Hongkong Telegraph, we'd better not offend these fend themselves with democra- ume: during the war, advancing the

|3d., bank managers expected a busy. Class and sixty in the latest as can be allowed to give them fellows; it might be wiser to tically controlled force--and do is. 04. In the £ that their** clienta

Thames Class,

reasonable comfort. Laymen abudite, come to terma with them.". it in time.

Turn to Page 3; Sacond Column

Consider the three men in the Turn to Paga 3, Fifth Column

helming love of liberty. Sen-walks of life have attempted to too, had something to point out. The A record y Commanding off sporting chance of escape, but

to a mutual ac-