1940-07-12 — Page 12

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Friday.

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH

July 12, 1940

FUNNY SIDE UP

By Abror Dean

WHEN

GONE ENGLAND

LAUGHS

ARE THE HORSE AND CARRIAGE

And Gone with thom are the old-fashioned methods of wax- ing the carriage.

Have you been using the same auto wax for year ... simply through force of kubil? Don't use a horse and carriago auto wax

It is no longer, necessary, to work all day, to wear yourself out to RUB and RUB, in order to attain a waterproof, weather resisting wax finish for Your our

Try WHIZ LONDON COACH WAX for longer lasting beauty for your automobile and lona work for you. Your waxing troubles, like the horse and buggy, will be

The

Gone

Sold Here HONGKONG

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Stubbs Rd.

Hongkong Telegraph.

Friday, July 12, 1940. Wyndham St., Hongkong Telephone: 26015

THE prefix "Special to the Telegraph" Le used by the Hongkong Telegraph" to Indicata daws which is strictly copyright under the provisions of the Telataramuni. cations Ordinance, 1935. Bach news, bears the Indication "UP" is received in Hongkong on the date of publication by the United Prem Associations, who 16- servo sil rights and forbid republication, either wholly or in part without previons arrangement

Stop The Four Columns

CYNICS say that to under- Communist Party, I happen to know stand the Englishman it is that Stalin is playing the right gume necessary to listen to his jokes, for this country."

The daily, or rather hourly, re- however painful that experience tailing of such stories certainly re- may be.

veals the modern Englishman's grip Certainly the attitude of the man of trends In' International polluce, as In the street towards the present war they display his capnelty for "smiling cannot be better- Illustrated than by at grief.” Perhaps one of the most the type of popular humour that has irksome features of this war to date been evoked. As a student of the has been the necessary evacuation of little things that conjointly make up large sections of the city populations. social history, I have been particular There has been much anguish at ly Interested to observe the trend parling, much discomfort and malnd- of that humour, and Its brave signi- Justment,

much strain on the frances. After a long experience of patience of countryfolk. But ali has the overseas Brilon in particular, his been tempered by a running_com- broad smile and emotional vagaries, mentary of characteristle good hum-j I have been greatly impressed by the our home-dweller's

wholly individual For instance, there is the chestnut reaction.

(already) of the East End mother

☆ ☆ *

For instance, the man who seized who counselled her small con: "Tell me by the arm soon after the de- your teacher that you don't want to claration of war, to confide the news be evacuated. You had a sore arm that Hitler was in hospital as a re- last time, remember." Then there is sult of falling over a Pole in the the yarn of the little lad who had Corridor, was not displaying a dip- been taken to

country house, and, pant mind. Rather was he letting as he was led up the magnificent, me know that war held no terrors tree-lined drive, suddenly burst

into "I don't want to live in a for him. Thus humour is the Eng- tears. Ushman's armour against adversity: forest," he replied to sympathetic query, And yet another youngster told his country host that "the war will not last long now." pressed for a reason, he continued: On being "Well, father has just been called for the Army, and mother says ite up

never keeps a job for longer than a

Only the other day a friend of mine entered into conversation with small "cyDCUCC" during Journey.

It is extremely significant, how ever, that a large proportion of the war-time jokes have been directed against Hitler personally!

Humorous contempt rather than month." violent hatred for the Nazl fender. and for the

lead.

Ing

1115

members of entourage,

s

been daily ex-

pressed by a mul-] titude jesta, saying and

of

quips.

even popular

songs, reminiscent

by

D. COWIE

The

a train

spoke very scrously about the

progress 01

but war,

the

11

ABNER

Chýn, 1410 by Untied Feature Frušteria, Ins.

'don't like this Item on your exponio account. Pogson... $300,

cost of marrying the prospect's daughter!”

Life in A British Submarine

THE "submarine, originally, control room; the helmuman, was intended to act the part of whọ is always awaiting orders a mobile mine field, but early from the Captain in the conning experience soon proved these tower, and tow others looking: deadly underwater craft to be after the hydroplanes and with major weapons of Naval offen- cyca fixed upon the diving sive warfare, attacking - war gauges. Theirs is a colossal ships and enemy commercial responsibility-the safety of their fellows depending upon transport.

Laymen

think submarine their absolute efficiency. It crews lead an unnatural and must be remembered that a unhealthy life. While too-long submarine is very delicately

what is the the climax of this type him talk to me Moother aboot it. a spell, necessitated by naval balanced, and when submerged.

Lures

true

My

action, resting on the sea-bed must keep on a spirit-levei kçel. and living in a confined space.

* where the air becomes pretty

of the ballads on "Boney" at the snid that her brother time of the Napoleonic wars. Songs more about it than she did. "He knew far as "Run, Adolf, Run," have indicated reads all the better than

papers and knows all political analysis алу

about them foreign countries und of the common what they're up to. You should hear Englishman. of humour was undoubtedly reached In the first days of the war, when are, argue all day long."

friend enquired as to the learned popular paper published full-page President Vargas of Brazil is descriptions of the Nazi "Big Four" seven," replied the litle girl.

brother's

age. "Oh, just

turned I my right in saying that the world in the style of "Price on his Head" selt discussed the war with a

advertisements issued by the police. lad of nine, and foolishly committed

a sturdy foul, is temporarily unhealthy, THE engine-room staff are is marching toward a future One of the most popular radio pro- myself to the opinion that it might

it is no more unnatural to work expert mechanicians, all highly different from all we have grumpics weekly retails the adven- not last so very long. "Ah, but we

in a submarine than it is down trained in every type of Diesel known. But he is wrong in his of "Hitma" and his confederates said exactly the same thing in 1914, a mine.

.. and electric machinery. Funk, Fusspot.

and Bodkin; while didn't we?" he instantly replied. apparent assumption that free popular

Of these two flelda of essential The speed of submarines when parkance already labels government is outmoded and that and "Dribblingdrop."

"fatty Goering, litle Goebbels"

national service working under- submerged varies from 9 knots the future belongs to force and

seas in a submarine is generally upwards with a surface speed of THEN there is the case of the But the story of the Cockney

a far more comfortable job than from 12 knots to 25 knots in the nationalism. Plainly democracy chorwoman who enquired if it were small evacuee who was asked to

working down a mine, and has case of the newest type of craft. must adjust itself to new condi-pointer had once been a write an essay on living in the painter and decorator is perhaps the country, and who said: "It does

such a contrast- tions, must make itself more

most revealing of the attitude of the seem odd not having_any_pave-

ing varitey of effective in the economic and so-affirmative answ

folk On receiving an ments to walk on. But I sup

mental occupa she said reflective- cial life of peoples. But there is. They're ail Uie

answer, sho

tions that the ly: "Im yes, so's my husband. pose country people have not got nothing new in the doctrine that matched, indeed, by the yarn about

same. This is only so much money as Londoners submariner SPITHEAD the man stand "vigorous peoples, fit for life the newspaper

Possibly it was the same child who foregts his sur-

for hours by a acller in Ludgate Informed her teacher that the rounding s

wheel, a lever, must follow the route of their "Here you are good laugh for a ning round the world."

Circus, who exhorted the passers-by: Equator was "a Maginot Line run- through concentration on the or a switch, in tense concentra- aspirations,"

penny. Hitler's speech in fullt

intricate machinery he uses. His tion awaiting orders from the Commenting on

Stories like these; circulating in remark by club and bar, wardens' post and sew

life on board is lived with executive officers, and which. There is nothing new in bar- Goebbels that "Germans now know ing guild, have undoubtedly helped machines and scientific appara- they repeat to make sure they barism, despotism, and pagan-

where they stand," a London bus England to bear the minor hardships t

have heard correctly, lam. Indeed they are so anti- "Yes, in a queue walt have said: of the war.

conductor is rumoured to have

Even the "black-out" Service aboard submarines, for

In war, life abbard a sub- three- quated that nations in which quarters of an ounce of synthetic cach night has not unduly depressed while it is hazardous task under marine is an

a people who can extract fun from

exacting and Christianity and enlightenment

It was another Cockney who the most uncomfortable restrictions.

war conditions, has never lacked anxious task. Hanting, and passed on the Information that the "Put out that light shouts an A.R.P. volunteers. In spite of the being hunted, they are always German High Command. would warden to weaty

the moon,

common

-by

All the mac-

hinery is, easy

to handle, and when in action: ·

have been really established hortly issue a report on the fooding replies patiently scholder, whof mishaps that have marked the facing death.. On the surface

And the

The South China Morning Post, Ltd,, against an unquenchable, over- AT least twenty people in all might, have caused. Just as politely,

have outgrown them. Only of the Siegfried Line, to be entitled mister."

progress of the submarine, there they are targets for bombs from where governments do not dare "Mein Dampf." And much has been "I don't care what

varden bellows; is. Put it out!" is always, a waiting list of fast-moving aircraft, or the to let their citizens know or as 34 inmates of a

made of the Paris report that, where- I can vouch myself for the incident volunteers willing to serve and quick-firing guns of their tradi- speak the truth is it possible to asylum declared themselves to be

Saar lunaticng a member of the Police| undertake Intensive special tional enemy, the destroyer; keep dictatorship and aggression

Hier before the war, only 12 still who

on duty for the first time training in mental efficiency when submerged they are the claimed

roused a householder to point Uzat doubtful going

distinction out that his windows were inade- even temporarily, Re once war was declared.

and in physique.

prey of mines and of the dreaded quately darkened. crudescences of despotism fight

Afterwards thei Submarine crews are all pick- depth charge. The latter weapon M

amateur constable politely took his leave, apologising for any trouble he makings of a first-class physique for the destruction of so many ed men, who must possess the has been mainly responsible whelming love of liberty. Son-walks of life have attempted to the householder remarked that he, is receiving subscriptions to

before acceptance for training, of Germany's U-Boats. Caught hor Vargas cannot tolerate tell me the story about the policeman was wearing his helmet drawn up by Commanding offi- sporting chance of escape, but too, had something to point out. The violence and disorder in his own his German guide: "I see that

A record of personal efficiency on the surface the crew have a. Russian in Berlin who says to back to front. THE FUND TO

cers of ships in which volunteers when their craft is submerged. country; modern invention is fast Hitler Strasse is late Bismarck unburdened herself to a mutual es have previously served is vital, and meets a depth charge, well:

A woman friend of mine, thuk ASSIST rendering the world too small a Strasse, and its late write tu letter and no man who is not mentally aimed, death. is practically

place to tolerate the inter-late Friedrich Strasse." Where to Mr. Chamberlain at once. It is alert, dependable and loyal, and certain. BRITAIN'S WAR EFFORT. force would bring.

national, anarchy his reign of upon the Berliner replies: "That about those horrid people next-door-

who leave their is so, comrade, late Bolshevik night. If makes such a splendid sidered, however physically fit. matter of expert underwater sen

of good temper, would be con- washing out all

Defeating a depth charge la a scum."

target for the The fact that the head of the

enemy." And after "But there is a slightly different the raids on the Forili

manship, when the Captain: A flood of largest, Nation in Latin America ring to the reported conversation in "pawicy" stories, descended from the THE "submariner" is a the scene of operation and riavigates hta craft away from Regent Street bus-between ཐ

Q North. One concerned the reason can come out at this crisis with woman who was expressing strong why the sirens were not sounded such a support of totalitarianiam views on Mibecaw and the weedy con- during the first raid. It was alleged ing must possess the essentials with scientific apparatus which definite breed, and before train- danger. Submarines are fitted ought to be a warning to every can assure you, madam, as a member during hospital

ductor who eventually replied: "I that Scotsmen nover took cover save of this special type before being enables them to listen when sub-

tog days. And lover of free government. This of the Wandsworth branch of the naturally the occupants of the train

signed on.

merged to the passing of surface. could not have happened before

One of a crew, yet he must be craft, and the accuracy of - proceeding over the Forth Bridge ot Nazi and Fascist might overran mind will decide that wrong is had paid their fares for the cross

the time of the raid did not disen- highly individualised, for in his judgment of the rating on Some elements of the human bark on the southern side. They work, under stress of cir- duty often determines the course free nations. Their display of right if only it is supported by journey, and did not want to risk

cumstances, he may be called the Captain takes in piloting his satisfied and, undemocratic ele- Fifth Columns are of little power has encouraged every dis- enough force.

having to pay them again.

upon temporarily to take com- cruft away from destruction. mand. He must be a man of." ment in the world.

danger unless backed by the four THERE is no doubt now that at sea, can be depended upon by

,4,

sterling character, who while There are people even in the columns of force. But if re- the Englishman can find a joke United States who influenced tinue to triumph, Fifth Columns

gimes dedicated to force con- to temper any hardship. the military successcs of will spring up everywhere. Stop recently that even the newspapers A waiter remarked in my hearing brutalitarianism have begun the four and the fifth will dis- from their pages, by omitting to were doing their best to banish gloom to say, "Well, the Nazla have integrate. That means that publish weather reports and racing cracy isn't so efficient. Maybe toward rule by reason must de had thereby been increased to 11: got something. Perhaps demo-calmly but vigorously, national results it was pointed out after the which have made some progress Budget that since the "cost of living" we'd better not offend these fend themselves with democra- imo, during the war, advancing the

The whole of the money subscribed is being handed to The Government of Hongkong for transmission to THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT

For the Purchase of Aeroplanes or such other Armaments as the British Government may decide, Donations will be received by The South China Morning Post. Cheques should be made payable to War Fund-South China Morning Post Limited.” All donations will be acknowledged in the columns of The S: C. M. Post & The Hongkong Telegraph.

+

3d bank managers expected a busy fellows it might be wiser to tically controlled force-and do is 9d, in the 2 that como to termd

clients with them," it in time.

como Turn to Pago 3 Third Column

4

YET officers and crew are

his fellows to act at all times happy and contented shipmates, with absolute efficiency: they loading lives of give-and-take, rely upon him for the safety of and sharing dangers with a care- their lives. Each man has his free abandon born of training own job, and a mistake might end habit,ONE

twenty-seven in the amall Unity cabins, and crew as much space load to the loss of the whole In the larger British sub submarine's crew numbering marines officers, have very small Class and sixty in the latest as can be allowed to give them Thames Class, reasonable comfort. Laymen Consider the three men in the Turn to Page B, Third: Column