1940-04-20 — Page 9

Saturday, APRIL 20, 1940.

"TELEGRAPH'

WEEK-END MAGAZINE

WE VOLUNTEERS DON'T CARE

YOUR

OUR KING and Coun- try need you. · HOO.

RAY!

Hongkong expects every able-bodied man to do his duty. And that includes us. HOORAY!

It's a great life in the

Army'.

A bit baming in the early days, of course. But why worry about that. A bit of baffling is good for every man.

Getting dressed is rare fun, particularly putting on the put- tecs. Either you wind them on so tight that you get binck in the face or you, put them on so loose. that they come unwound and you get tangled up in them.

Nothing looks more unsoldierly than a soldier with about fty yards of puttee dragging behind. Still that's a minor detail,

4

I DON'T know what the procedure is now, but aftor the last war we were in they let us take our rifles home with us. The mortality among the cats was terrific.

We found bayonet practice very exhilarating. We had to charge a stuffed bag and what happened to that bug was a

slime.

They didn't have a Tank Corps in our day, so we weren't able to help the P.W.D. plough up all the roads.

Anyway, once you get your thingmejigs on properly, the next thing is to drill. The first thing you learn is to land to attention, heels together, toen at an angle of forty-five degrees. It makes you look an awful pansy at first

When we were. flrsi told about this we weren't sure whether we needed a thermometer or a theodo- e. But we soon learned to use our own judgment.

Standing at ease was one of the best things we did in the Volunteers. We were A real wonder at it.

Trouble was that we used to

We found that sorgeunit-mujers were the worst pest. Always get- tlog purple in the face about some- thing. Just because a man's gol his tin helmet on back to front or hla rifo upside down.

Lot of rot-and we told him no. "Don't be so finicky," we sold. We prefer to carry it this way. Why don't you pull yourself to- gether."

We thought he was going to cholte, but he didn't, unfortunately,

*

IN camp at Fanling it was great. That's where we learn- ed to fold up blankets and ent stew out of a tin pan. At least, they said it was stew.

We thought up a lot of other names for it.

It was interesting stuff, in a way. You never knew what you'd find. It might be a plece of rope une day and a button of the cook's trousers the next.

We had music every day. One of the Inds used to play the bugle. But there was a entch in it.

We were lying in our tent one morning when everybody else had the chap gone out to listen to playing the bugle, when the ser- geant came around.

“Üldn't you hear the bugle go?" he roared.

"Of course I did," we replied. "Very nice, too, Doen he know "Way Down the Swance River'?"

The Army likes GREY SOCKS

ALL the services want socks as many as you can knit. If

you haven't started making mittens or sea-boot stockings, get ozs. wool and make a pair of regulation socks.

The sume pattern does for all three services; it makes a sock with 10% in, foot Army socks may be khaki, though they prefer grey because the dye is more fixed; Navy socks should be navy blue, grey or natural; Air Force socks should be Air Force blue or grey.

YOU NEED: 5 ozs. of 5-ply super-finering or 3-ply wheeling and 4 No. 12 or 13 needles.

ABBREVIATONS: K-knit p-purl; sts, stitches; rep.-repeat; 1o. together: slip; dec.de

crease.

Cast on 84 sts.; rib 41% ius.; k. 2 n. 2: k. 7 Ins. (12 ins. in all).

HEEL: K. 32 sis. on to one needle; turn, p. 32 sts. turn, k. 32 sts rep. last 2 rows (always slipping first st.) 15 times (16 in all).

1

With the inside of the, heel to- wards you: P. 18 sis, p. 2 tog, p. Turn, k. 6 sis,, sl, i, k. 1, pult sl. st. over, k. 1, turn, p. 7 sts., p. 2 tog. p. 1.

1. Turn, k. 8 8 sts., Bi. 1. k. 1, pull sl. st. over, k. 1, turn, p. 9 sis., p. 2 tog, p. 1. Tumi, k 10 sts, k. pull el, at, over it. 1, turn, 11 st., p. 2 tog, p. 1. Turn, k. sts, sl. 1, k. 1, puli sl. st. ever, k. 1, turn, p. 13 sts., p. 2 tog. p. 1. Turn, k. 14 st., sl. 1. k, pull sl. st. over, k. 1, turn, p. 15 sts., p. 2 tog.

12

1.

Turnk. 16 sis, l. 1. k. 1, puli si. at, over, k. 1, turn, p. 17 sts,

do it at the wrong ilme. When.. 2 tox, Turn, k. 17 st., sl. 1, k.

over everybody else was shoul- dering arms we'd be standing at CASC.

The sergeant on those occasions used to be abusive and rude. You can't be original in the army.

1. puli sl. st. OVLT.

Pick up and k. 17 sts. down the side of the heel piece.

K. the 32 s. of the front needles (on to one needle). Pick up and k. the 17 sts, at other side of heel piece. Divide the heel sta. on to

the two side needles. and K. right round again to the centre heel.

1st needle: K. to within 3 sts. of the front end of side needle-k. 2 to.. k. 1.Front needle plain, 3rd needle: K. 1, sl. 1, kt. 1, pull st. st, over, k, plain to end of needle.

This decreasing is to be done every other row until there are 64 sts, on the needles (front needle 32, side needles 10 each).

K. plain until the fool measures 24ins. less than the full length requireri.

To dec. for the too: Begin at the front needle, k. 1, s. 1; it. 1. pull sl. at, over. k, plain to within 3 sts. of the end of the needle. k. 2 tog. k. 1.

2nd needle: K. 1, sl. 1. k. 1. pull sl. st. over. k. plain to end of 3rd needle: K. plain to needle. within 3sts, of the end, k. 2 log.. l. 1. K

3 plain rounds, then dec. as before, k, another 3 plain rounds, then dec, us before.

K. 2 plain rounds, then dec. os before; . another 2 plain rounds, then des ny before; k, another 2 plain rounds, then dec, as before.

K. 1 plain row, then dec again;- K, another plain row, then dec. again; k, another plain ruw, then dec. again.

Now dec. as above in each of the next 3 rows, which leaves 16 sis, and cast off,

Are you self-

conscious?

F course you are. Because

One woman (we're leaving men out of this!) is entirely oblivious of herself,

But just HOW self-con- sclous are you? Just enough to know your own failinga and try to do something about them, or are you so acutely aware of yourself that life is a perfect misery with you in the middle of it?

Look at these questions. Answer "Yes" or "No" in the spaces, pro- vided then count up your score, Don't cheat by looking at the scor- Ing Instructions first, thought

1 'Do you feel conspicuous if you-

(a) Eat alone in a restaurant?

(b) Are kept waiting for some

body in an hotel lounge or "under the clock"? ...

2 Do you over pay-and mean-

(a) "I HATE having my photo-

graph taken"? ....

(b)

"I do hope we don't have

to play charades"?

(e) "For goodness sake don't leave me I don't know a soul here"?

3 Would it spoll your appetite if you knew you had to make a speech or propose a toast at the end of the meal?

4 When you walk into a room full of people, do you feel as though all eyes were focused upon you?

5 When you are anxious to make a good impression, are you In- clined to

(a) Talk too much?

A.

(b) Stammer occasionally?... (c) Giggle?

6 Do you fidget when talking to people you don't know well?

.7 Do you ever lo awake at night and brood miserably about some happening during the day in which you consider you made a fool of yourself?

8 Do you blush easily?

9 Do you dislike appearing for the

first time in

(a) New clothes...

(b) A new hair style? ..

10 If an entertainer oaked "any

lady from the audience" to go` on the stage, would you tight?...

li

11 Does it make you feel "silly" If you don't get a partner In the Paul Jones"?.......

12 Assuming that you can lift up your volco and sing, do you feel at all embarrassed if asked to Join in community singing? ... 13 If you arrived lato, and all by

ог

yourself at some lecture function, would you rather not go lut

14 Would you mind reading aloud

to a room full of people?

*

Count 1 for cach time you

HOW have answered

TO

"Yes." Count 0 for ench time you have an

SCORE swered "No."

V

If you total 20—and that is the biggest score you can get then you are very self-conscious, and will be a much happler person II you get outside yourself and focus some of your attention on to other people.

of

The same applies to any number

points between 15 and 20.

If you score between 10 and 15, then you're probably just an average rather difdent kind of a girl, and it wouldn't teke much of a setback to make you even less sure of yourself,

Points between

and 10 show the sort of girl we like to meet.

No falso simpering, hanitwist- ing modesty about her: no agonis- ed squirmings if she finds herself suddenty in the limelight

The sort of girl who scores be tween 1 and 5 is the sort of girl we would like to be angry with II we weren't so self-conscious,

She is so alarmingly competent that she steals everybody else's thunder-thereby paling her less efficient sisters into their self-conscious shade,

He explained to us a rather uncouth way that when this bugle- player played on his bugle we had to got up. We've hated bugles ever since.

If we're going to be a soldier again we're going to slipulate that there must be no bugles. A plano-accordeon we dan's mind, but woking a man up at such an unearthly hour by shoving bugies in his car is just plain Hitlerism.

This chap was playing his bugle off and on all day. If the tin was rendy he'd get to know about it and start blowing his bugle."

OF

When you got up and when you went to bed he'd still be tootling on it. It's a wonder; the officers let him get away with it.

*

*

FATIGUE duty is a rather strange pastime they have in the army. The first time we lined up in the morning wo were told off for fatiguo duty. So naturally we went back to bed.

We never loved sergeants after that. We're sure this man was o bit rally.

We were on the parade ground one day and he yells, "SHUN!"

We shunned along with the rest of the mob and then he says, "SENNA TEA

We'd been caught on that one before, so we knew it meant "Stand at Ease". Well, we did that.

Then he says "Shunt" and short- ly after "Senna Tea" again.

We, said to him: "Listen, ser- geant, why can't you make up your mind and be done with it?" That started another row.

We

We said: "If you're going to talk like that, we're going home." didn't go home, as it turned out. They put us in a cell for a week Instead.

Still, boys, you're wanted for the army. So Joln up. Don't . mind us. It's a great life, but we're going to be a private in the Red Cross.

COURSE

YOU

KNOW

BUT ARE YOU SURE?

THESE

ESE. teasers, as I have so often told you, are designed to give you a few minutes' entertainment, but not to mea- sure your intelligenco. Even though you don't get all of them right (they are easy enough, Heaven knows!), there's no harm done. I point this out because I've had one or two distressful notes from readers who are in despair over their totals. Choor up, "Average 30," and you, too, "Averago 35" --you're not so bad.

On the basis of two points for each correct answer, the average person should score at least 30 points. If you are above the ordinary intelligence level, 40 points will be no trouble at all, but you've got to be something out of the box to make 50.

And now-having given you—-1 ment you need, I leave it to you. pencil, and onward to the fray! 1.-Edith Cavell, the heroic Eng- lish nurse who was shot by the Germans in 1915. is buried in:

a

St. Paul's; Westminster Ab- bey: Norwich Cathedrai; Brussels cemetery; a military cemetery in Belgium, 2-You'd get a great kick out of digging up a pirate's hoard of doubloons,

of inoldorca, pleces eight and gold plate, no doubt, but legally, treasure trovo belongs Brstly to:

The person who finds it; the awner of the land on which it is found; the Crown; the de- scendants of the pirate who buried it; the lawyers who fight the case of disputed ownership in the courts. 3-A comminuted fracture oc- curs when a bone:

Breaks cleanly, cracks but does not break; breaks witli a fouped edge; breaks into more than two pleces; bends but ~~~ docs-not-break.

In 4-The century

which Geef- frey Chaucer, Father of English poetry, flourished was the:

12th, 13th, 14th,, 15th, 10th. 5-Among these is a stretch of water which is not customarily re- ferred to as one of the Seven Scas:

Arctic; Antarctie; Arafura; North Pacific; South Pacific; North Atlantic; South Atlantic; Indian.

When It's 12 noon in Hong- kong the time in Tokyo is:

12 noon; 11 am; 1 pm 2 p.m.; 10 a..

7. The weights 18:

8,

In lightest

boxing

-weight feather-

Quoth Murgatroyd: "The trouble with most of our younger is that they lack a Sunday boxers punch." Murgatroyd means.

They can give it but they can't take it; they have no re serve strength; they have no special, powerful mich; they train on beer.

D.Tradition usually points to St. George of England, St. Andrew of Scotland, St. David of Wales, St. Patrick of Ireland, St Denis of France and St. James of Spain as:

The Seven Doctors of the. West; the Seven Sapes of the Ancient World; the Seven Champions of Christendom; the Seven Wise Men of the East; the Seven Wonders of the World.

10-Another dip into tradition, Students of ancient history · will tell you that Lilith was:

One of the Nine Muses; one of the Three Fates; Adam's Arat wife; the Roman Goddess of Purity: the daughter of Solomon and, the Queen of Sheba.

11-No ballet season would be complete without at least one per- formance of the graceful Les Syl- phides, which is danced to the muste

bt

Chopin; Mozart; Stravínský; Tachalkotsky: Debussy.

12The paychologist who has enriched our mother tongue with. Auch lovely phrases A mother fixatlon; wish falilment, and in- feriority complex is:

Freud; Juno; Adler: Brill; Bergson, Havelock Eills; Forel.

· 13—A Útle more than 25 years ago a great canal was opened to International trade. An easy-two points. It was the:

hope-all the encourage- Sharpen both wits and

Grand Union; Suez; Pan- ama; Liverpool ship; Welland, 14. You quote (misquole, no- tually) Shakespeare when, to pro- fess lack of knowledge you say, "It's all Greek to me." If you are still interested, read:

Comedy of Errors: Julius Caesar: Hantlet; Twelfth

Timon Night;

of Athens; Pericles. 15-I think I have already told you that when there aren't enough wives to go round it's called poly- andry. This deplorable state of affairs exists In:

Mozambique; Tibet; Russia; India: Bornco; Iraq.

16. One of these remote re- glons has, during the past year or so, received more attention from

hist than at any time in lis

Wrangell island; the Arctic; Antarctic; Greenland; the

the

Saligra

17-A sardine, having dodged.... the little flat can and the ever- open jaws of sundry hungry · deni- zens of the vasty deep, crows up and becomes:

arc.

1140

Barracouta; salmon; cod; pilchard; narwhal; morwong, 18-You know what these artisis

them Some of white of

Instead CEE paint pictures with. tricity really, but [ known ant

even of oil to Not

recen. technique

Pastel; drypoint; mezzotint; tempera; gouache,

15.And speaking of artists; in this list there's one Englishman. Pick out the Englishman.

Penleigh Boyd;. Arthur Murch, J. Muir Auld; Frede- rick Leighton; James Elder- shaw; Erik Langker,

20. The classle Irish play "The Plough and the Stars" was written

by:

Liam O'Flaherty: Eugene O'Neill; Sean O'Coacy; W. B. Yeats; Padriac Colum.

21-In mythology, the chap with the bulging muscles and the pained expression who balances the world on its shoulders, is:

Hercules; Jupiter; Argus, Atlas; Vulcan; Brother Jona- than.

22.—If your small son (or daugh-

ler, as the case may be) asked you what a centaur looked like you would slip in his (or her) regard if you were unable to reply promptly that A centaur is a mylifeal creature:

With a lion's body and a human head: half man, half horse;

mani, partiy

partly poat; with an caple's head and a ilon's body.

23--Which of the following are spirits:

Kummel; vodka; rum; Cur- acao; Sack.

24-You ought to know by now what a

a palindrome is. Just to try you out-only one of theso is a palindrome:

the

Around the rugged rocks the rugged rascal Tan; Leith police dlemisseth us; abic was. L'ere I saw Elba; á atlich in time saves nine." 25-Eyra is not the plural of eyrto-who wouldn't know that? nor is it the name of an Ausiek- Han lake... It la:

One of the Graces; circles round the cues; a pair of caples; a wild cat; a court cir- cult.

Answers on Page 8

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TELEGRAPH-PAGE 7

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