1940-03-23 — Page 9

Saturday. MARCH 23, 1940.

“TELEGRAPH WEEK-END MAGAZINE

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH-PAGE 7

It's just as fresh in the East as at home"

EDWARD KELLY (BRAWN, NOT

RAWN NOT WRITES ABOUT

BRAINS

Hongkong Sports I've Known

SWARMS of soccers and hockers are disport- ing themselves around our fields in this time of emergency.

And the interest that's be- ing taken in cricket is wicket (poetry)

You've just got to mention rugby and someone drugs out an old school tie.

Bowling is also a howling success (more poetry{}

In fact, there's danger that Hongkong is neglecting the maulier sporta, Us, for in- Alance.

This is a crying shame. There is nothing more pathetic than a whe hrust been sepient manly

MAYBE it's Spring..

MAYBE

Anyway. Mr. Edward Kelly, Hongkong's ranking No.

1 Sport in Hongkong Ladies Hockey circles and other femin ine clubs. has become athletic all over.

All this news that's published in the papers about

After giv hockey and soccer has worked him into a frenzy. ing the local teams the once over, he wrapped his toes around the electric heater, isolated himself, hungerstruck for four days and after profound thought emerged with a scheme to improve local sporting competitions.

Let him tell you about it in his own words.

neglected.

We ourself have been a keen sport ever since we won the the-sucking championship in 1906.

1 cur reheal days-we went to Queen's College-we won the reg A po race every year we en+.

tered. Finally, we were debarred frem competing as the college was running out of spoons.

We used to give all the girls a Were they start. Ms. how startled ton.

1p

But we were 17 Aufore we took" up sport professionally. We could

Even Adolf Had

L

ADY OXFORD tells the conversation story of a she had with von Ribbentrop, who was insisting, in spite of anything that was said to the › contrary, that the Germans

have a sense of humour.

"Why," said he, "many a time Herr filter and I have been sn that we overcome with laughter

have rolled together on the floor." "Indeed," retorted Lady Oxford. "If my children had done that 1 should have sent them lo' bed."

HITLER rolling on the floor

with laughter!

Hitler in a fit of pussion saymu and doing things for which, when the storm ban passed, he is re-

but gretful.....

not regretful enough to make amends!

☆☆☆

Hitler like a child playing with soldiers, moving them here and moving them there; then not lik- ing the pattern they make he les into a rage and smash, a soldier lies broken,

There was a story in the Press some time ago attributing Hitler's -hatred-of-the-Jews-to-the fact that one Jew sinned against his young slater. It may be just a tale. but it is in character; it fits enslly into. place in that flg-saw puzzle Dat is Hitler..

ONE day a man-child... the

every Bon that almost woman longs for and when he comes loves beyond any of his sisters, to his detri-

a Mother

"ile preferred mother's lap"

ment tria.

was born in Aus-

He's so little; not old enough to understand," aut pleks him up. Adolf smiles.

"What rolll he be when he grows

upp

Adolf, a toddler now, is visited by Anna, the five years old. Anna carries toy elephant which she Inven, Adolf wants it.

"But." says his mother gently, nice toys of "you have so many your own."

Adolf wants Anna's elephant. fle snatches it and its leg comes off in the struggle. Anna, defend- hits out and ing her loved

Adolt sliricks.

one,

Adoll's mother is on avenging fury. How dare Anna hit a child so much younger; he only wanted to held the elephant; ft was selfish of Anna.

when he What will Adolf be (rows up?

Baby Adolf lies on his mother's "EVEN

up and she bends over him dream- ing the dreams mothers only dream about their sons, wondering "What will he be when he grows up?”

Little Adolf in very snug in his mother's lap, but mother has work Adolf is put into his crib. to do. It is soft and warm, but Adolf pre- fers his mother's lap, He makes his wishes known at the top of his volce,

"Don't give in to him," says some Wisc

"or he'll always woman. scream for what he wants."

But Adolf's mother cannot bear scream. She sighs, to hear him

n

Hitler had mother,"

that It is "even" which is the key word. In it is all that Hitler stands -for-and-all that motherhood

should stand for.

It is a solemn thought that every. lime a mother says "yes" to her child when she should say "no," every time she condones when she should reprimand, she is building a little Hiller who will, no matter how small his sphere, bring sorrow, to the world rather than huppiness.

E. C.

tell you about the night we took

Elior's Note: Not in this pas per, you won't!

Author's Note: We can dismiss the cldent in a paragraph. Editor's Note: Not a line. Author's Note: All right, but you wouldn't talk to us like that if we didn't have a wife and four kids to support.

*

THEN

there's tiddly winks. We have been more tiddly und had more winks than any other sport in Hongkong.

We must confess that we were a trifle weak at Ping Pong. But it's a quaint city. We have also visited Madi Jongg and other well known Chinese places in search of sport.

Although we like marbles, the best sport we know is Mabel.

Ever since they look our chest measurements at Volunteer end- quartets they've wanted us to be- come a Key Post.

This made us good for wrestling Mabel said we were the best wrest- ter she'd ever encountered.

The very first night we took up this aport we started from scratch.

We got our experience in This game at Eton. It was en Eton's playing fields that most of our big battles were won.

Mr. Himaworth will tell you that we are an old Blue. The inst time he sent us a blue paper was when he had our boat race acrons the harbour. We forgot our boat. That was the time we erept into our bedroom on our hands. and knees.

SCAPA

They had 5 tries

last time

By H. C. FERRABY

ONE man standing by an electric switch in a hut on a bare, bleak islet at one of the entrances to Scapa Flow.

That was all.

But that one man often stood between the Grund Fleet of 1918 and destruction by chomy sub-

OF COURSE YOU KNOW BUT ARE YOU

1-Yon Spec, the German ad. miral after whom the ill-fated pocket-battleship was named, won

a naval battle before he was sent lls slip with to the bottom Scharnhorst, in 1914. He defeated a squadron commanded by:-

Sturdce: Craddocic; Beatty; Fisher; Jellicoe.

Alaska was not always an The United American territory. States

bought it from:~~ Great Britain; Russia; Can- ada; Japan; Denmark; Holland.

euphonious The nol very

name of quagga has been inflicted

Quakers by their opponents; an animal like a zebra; a shell- fish with two closely-fitting valvça; a quack doctor; a table- bird.

Yperite is:-

A mineral; one of the cle- ments; in explosive; a poison

If you're in the Army you'll know. If you're not you can guess. The military pace, when marching in quick time, la:~~

-1ft 10in.; 2ft.; 2ft. 3; 2ft.

2ft. Oln.

cin.i

GMy reography, which has not let me down yet, informs me that Finnmark is a province of:

The surest

find

Norway: Sweden; Finland; Germany; Russia.

place to you have an urge that

the

teluocas,

WAY, B

velita

0171

Browsing quietly

of Rhodesia; growing in clusters on palm trees in the Moluccas; salling gracefully down the Nile; roaming the jungles of Central India.

No so many years ago people ured to believe that the touch of the reigning monarch would cure the King's Evil, a complaint which to-day is known as:-----

Myopia: smallpor; scrofula; paralysia; acurvy; billharzia,

YEARS como and years go, but the method of scoring romains fixed, immutable. Just take two points for each The average is 30; good, 30-40; excellont, correct answer. 40-50. No matter what you think, this does not apply to that squilers minority-the rare and reckless fellows, who can't resist a little pock at the answers early in the piece.

Don't My Easter resolution-is to make them easier. thank me. I've always been large-hearted, generous to fault. To prove it, just cast a casual eye over these.

a

But

be not too casual about it, lest one or two of the seemingly casiest ones be found not QUITE so easy as you'd think."

9.-Writers of eclogues invariably concern themselves with subjects relating to:-

War:

history: philosophy; love; the countryside.

of tize 10. Desiccation is one words. They trick you with at spell- ing bees. It means a process of:-

slicing: shredding, Crushing; poundings removing moisture.

valorem dulles are those levied on articles!--

Manufactured at home; im- ted from foreign countries; their value to according to provide politicians with funds for faunte abroad. 12-People

parted

afflicted with achro- matopsis don't suffer pain from it. but they miss a lot of fun, because achromatopsia Is

An aversion to good food; tone-deafness; colour-blindness; dislike of beer.

Eame

13-T6

originated in

of

dominoes

Italy; China; India; France; Russia; Germany.

14-Fala morgana 1-

who

The serving wench poured the boiling ell on the 40 thleves; a mirage occasion. ally seen in the Mediterranean; one of the Three Fates; one of the Nine Musck,

15. A hero of the 1914-1918 war

was Captain Charles Fryat!,

British merchant skipper who was shel by the Germans for:~~~

Espionage; refusing to sur- render his ship, ramming V-boat; declining to disclose to the enempi information

association with

dri

working Edith Cavell. 16Quoth Murgatroyd: "I must take a firmer stand with my daugh- Mignonette. Her habits

positively gregarious," Suld I: "You're being screws again." Gregarious means:

ter

becoming

Dissolute;

careless; undisci-

plined; living in communities; intemperate.

17

are

The Grand Canyon, one of

the most publicised places in the world, is in the Unlied, Siates, of course, but more specifically it is

--

California; Mexico; Wyoming.

Texas; New Montana;

Arizona:

18. They give all manner of names to winds in various parts of the world, but one of these is not a wind. Plek it out

fornado; Mistral; sirocco; cyclone; harinatian; reredos.

for the search 19-I, in pharynx. you took a human body expect to And opart, you would

D

SURE?

Below the heart; between the kidneys; at the back of the nasal cavities; connecting the stomach to the duodenum. 20-cincture, when 2 was un Innocent lad at school, was, and is still:

A measure of weight; a mea- sure of capacity; a girdle; an ecclesiastical custom of shav- ing the head.

21. To call a man a mnemoalst is to pay him a compliment, not to Insult him, but it would be much Limpler you said he had

Remarkable powers of en- d urance; extraordinary scholarship; prodigious strength; an amazingly reten- tive memory; a way with the

women.

22-Phobias,

in psychological

· jargon, are tears. You know that. Gynephobia is fear of:-

Darkness; crowds; open spaces; being buried alive; women; heights; fire.

23. Adell Schickelgruber, allas Hitler, really believes that when he Es fired from his Job of Fuehrer, he 1122 honest be able to earn will be pfennig:-

At a a poet; as an architect; painting, pictures; designing uniforms for dictators; rewriting Mein Kampf. 24-All you have to do is to supply the Christian names of these famous men

(1) Gladstone the statesman; (2) Handel the composer; (3) Beaumont the dramatist; (4) Newton the sciential; (5) Lati- mer the martyr bishop.

28-A collector of tintypes is a bloke who spends all his available cash cluttering up the house willt:—

Ancient newspapers; hand- old photo- printed books; graphs; printing types made of zin.

Answers on Page 8.

our

Ever since they took chest measurement at Vo- lunteer Headquarters they've wanted us to become a

Koy Post.

"Is that you Fido," our wife murmured sleepily.

We got out of that one by licking her hand.

But we were always an old

We dog.

remember when We mushed across the Yukon. We niet an Eskimo. Or a lans. Or an Aluskin. Yukon buve it your We tried to have owit way.

it our own way. She was ke 31 ice-box-a frigid-dare. We threatened we'd leave her again. "Well, if you mushed, you mish.” she said. We could have sleighed her. So we came to Hongkong.

There are lots of other sports. we could write about, but we know the Editor would only~ waste valuable space with his crule interruptions.

So we will now go across to the Hotel to practice for the next elbow-lifting championship, which we expect to win at Volunteer Headquarters on April 5 if we are not debarred from the chit- signing competition.

Remember, girls. we sports mayn't have the good looks und the debonair manner, but you should see the muscles running up and down aur arms, and the hair on our chest.

The way a rattlesnake fas- cinates a bird has nothing on

us.

Adder boy!

ISLANDS

Pentland Firth

Thurso

CAITHNESS

"Sanday

KIRKWALL

ISCAPA FLOW

Wick

ព

marines. Once only did he press the switch in all the months he was enough. kept his watch. It The U-boat which Wak then creeping up the Sound with Death or Glory crew of volunteer offeers on board, bent on blowing up Beatty and the Grand Fleet flagship, went up. in a tornado of bursting mines.

That was the last of five attempts made by the enemy in the great war to attack the Grand Fleet in its resting pince. None of them succeeded, even in the earliest days of the war when the defences were primitive and long before the electrical contact mine- been feld in the channel had devised,

A famous U-boat ace-Weddigen, in US-made the first attempt In

He the early autumn of 1914. tried the eastern entrance, bul the destroyer putrol got at him. The Alarm nearly rammed him, and as he disentangled himself from this encounter the Nymph was almost He did n crash- on top of him. dive, and when he was safe on the bottom thought things over. Then he decided to go home..

*

Д

von

the

In October U22 was in the offing, but made only. half-hearted

It Was attempt to get in. Heming, in U18, who made next determined effort, creeping cnutiously along the channel in the wake of น steamer taking He Was

supplies to the base.

by drifter patrol, rammed and chivvied away. The U-bont was only half under control

every and breaking surface

now and again to betray her where- abouts. She drifted down to the Skerries and there she sank, all the cre

crew except one being taken

If

had gat UIA prisoner. Even through there would have been no prize. The Grand Fleet was away. The dramatic last attempt found and not only tels and booms hydrophones Installed, but also the electrical detectors which Bashed newa of every movement in the channel, on the surface or below, to a tell-tale screen in an observa- Little signals showed 1lon hut.

exactly where the boat was from The watcher minute to minute. had only to wait until she was among the special mines which would only explode, when depressed the moster switch.

he

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