1940-03-16 — Page 9

Saturday, MARCH 16, 1940.

"PRZMYSL!" he Hald,

qualling his vodka.

"Kremlin". in addition to being the telegraphic address of the Hongkong Hotel, is also the address of several wire. whiskered gents in Moscow.

The idea of an article about

It Gripps us.

No one can have a code addres like that and get away with it.

ETELEGRAPH" WEEK-END MAGAZINE

Herr EDWARD

MOSCOW HOME KELLY PLANS

TO-NIGHT"

A Hongkong "Blitzkrieg"

SOMEONE HAS pointed out to Mr. Edward Kelly, the noted debt repudiator, that the telegraphic code address of the Hongkong Hotel is "Kremlin."

Armed with this Information Mr. Kelly, still smarting under the last letter reminding him of his unpaid chits, surrounding himself with stenographers and empty vodka bottles and prepared the following article. To get the right atmosphere, Mr. Kelly has refused to shave since he started to write the article. At least, this is what he says. Investigation, however, reveals that his credit has been stopped at the local barbering establishments. Now read on if you daro.

At least, not while ive have to spend hours wracking our braina or a subject. It's like Manner- heim from Heaven.

In fact, it's made us inshevik all over.

to re-

The Kremlin repudiated lis

싫다 debts.

we're going pudiate our debts to the Hong- kong Kremlin.

Any moment now the story should break in the papera. Imagine the headlines:.

GRILLROOMSKI REVOLT Edward Kelly Rabble Storms The Kremlin

Mar. 16. GRILLROOMSKI,

has revolution (Rister)-Red broken out here, following an an- uncement by Herr Edward Kelly,

Britain's

ERR KOMMANDANT

"HERR

ve haf a gomplaint."

"What is it?" demanded the Colonel In charge of an intern- ment camp on the East.Const. The enemy allen saluted am clicked his heels,

"Too many Nazis here," be re- piled. "Dey bat a Fuchrer elected, But we believe in demoerpry. do not vant a Fuehrer in the camp. Vot shall we do?"

We

The Colonel said: "If you be lieve in democracy, you must abide by the decision of the majority. That is the way this camp is run. If you don't want a Fuehrer, just vote him out."

The prisoner grinned.

"Ja, Herr Kommandant," he said. "We valt. Den ve vote him out."

I know that camp well.

time mer,

Last

was there, in the sum was filled with British holiday-makers-3,000 of them.

Now the chalets, ballrooms, and beer-gardens that were bullt for pener-time pleasure accommodate 200 German and Austrian citizens.

It is one of the three centres-in Britain where the nationals of enemy countries are housed-most- ly "for the duration." They are for Britain's Foreign

Legion-the

civilian internees, the prisoners of war, and the refugees from Nizi persecution.

ET us look at the civilian in- fest, see how they tern.cs

live, what sort of men they are, and what sort of treatment they gel.

They have been sent to this camp because Tribunais have decided that they ought not to be at large in Britain in war-time. But the only sign that they are prisoners is the presence of armed guards ni the gates.

are

Apart from this military super. vision, the internees do pretty much as they like. They nearly a free as the holiday- makers who inhabited the camp In peace time,

When Fritz-arrives at the camp, carrying the one sultense that he is permitted to bring, he finds him- former cocktail Belt first in the

bar. There he opens his sultcase to show that he has brought no other sharp knives, scissors, implements.

or

He is allowed to possess a safety azor and one, blade. When he wants a new blade he must sur- render the blunt one..

A doctor runs the rule over him, and then he is given a mattress, a buister, a pillow, and four blankets. These be takes to a chalet, where he is allotted one of three wooden

bunke.

And then, it he wants to start tolking polities, Nazi or 'anti-Nazi, he is free to do so, for he is among his own countrymen.

FRITZ rises at 7, makes his bed, and gets ready for breakfast nl 7.45. Porridge, meat pie, plenty of bread and margarlic, and a pint of tea,

Camp Inspection is at 10.30 and lunch at 12.30-usually ment, frult ple, and cocoa: Exercise and work

In the hours to 4.30 tea, after which the evening is his own.

Roll call is at 9, and lights out at 10.30.

He can send out two letters a week, receive as many as come, as well as parecia.

Not bad for an enemy alien. But we have, as well,, many friendly guests frem enemy countries..

noted drinker, that he has re- pudiated his chils.

Red. Ink has been substituted for the hated blue in all inkpots in the capital, and entries in the Kremlin books will in future be made in the workers' colour.

General Neatwhiski is in com- mand of the revolutionary forces.

BLUE INK FLOWS FREELY Repeated Cover Charges Made

To Disperse Rabble

LENDINGRAD, Mar, 10. (Our Owing Correspondent).—The drendid OGPU, which is closely affiated with the even more dread- ed 1OU. has arrested several aris- troerate on charges of counter-re- volutionary activities.

The Finns, who claim they are the victims of Kremlin SKETCH-

gardening, ind

their post office handles 6,09 letters a day. дить educational department organises textures and occupational Instruc- tion.

Young men are fitting themselves there to take Jobs abroad. This camp is losing members,

Foreign

Three thousand

of

them are its

a camp that

nur troops occupied In

the last war,

It is in the south

of

bright

young-

re-

sters, after celving technical training pass out to the

Kreat world.

But it is not su with Camp No. 3.

Legioni

Eugland. Until recently, for 20 years, it had been an eyesore.

Weeds made the grounds a jungle. Displaced wall-boards, broken win- dows, and sagging roofs made the 40 huts look like a derelict mining trump.

But now the camp looks like a garden city. The huts have been epaired the grass clipped, and the Most of the work paths laid out. has been done by the villagers themselves.

refugees They are

from Nazi oppression, and all, in this camp. are men. Among them are doctors, writers, and musicians, lawyers, Factors, acme with celebrated nimmes.

THIS town of 2,000 Germans and

1.000 Austrians and Czechy, where Jew and Genille mix as friends, is a completely self-gov- erning community.

The camp costs £80,000 a year to run, und the Central Fund of British Jewry relieves the British taxpayer of that expense.

their own The refugees have comp newspaper. They do all their own carpentering, roadmaking, and

prisoners of war.

There the population is growing dally newcomers arrive. It is camp for

23

This is in the North of England. Most of the prisoners, up to now, are airmen of members of U-boat

in a crews. They live

factory building that had not been used for many years before the war.

For the most part young fellows, they have quickly taken to Soccer football, and they have two matches a week in the camp,

Their work consists mainly in trench-digging, and sandbag filing, under the eyes of their Kuords. They carry British gas-masks and are making their own dug-outs ugninst the prospect of visits from their Nazi friends.

Each has-a-coloured-circular- patch of cloth stitched into the back of his cont, and on one trouser leg, to show that he is a prisoner. As each Fritz arrives he shows But elther fear or Nazi

arrogance. in every case it disappears quickly as he realises that he is well treated. As a rule, he speaks some Eng- lish, and when he misbehaves, all the Sergeant-Major has to say is this:

"Any more of that, me lad, and back to Germany you go!"

G. A.

Further

sion, are at Gripps with the re- volutionaries. They are led by Field Marshat Mickey Finn..

Signor D. R. Y. Marlin, an Italian, has been arrested for put- ting his adgnorture to a chit.

Serious fighting- accurred this morning, the rabble dispersing only alte repeated cover charges.

ML Nlek Korin Is alleged to Band which is be the leader of terrorising the countryside. If he comes near the Kremlin he will almost ceriainly Swing for lls part in the affair.

DOLLAR LINE BOMBING Starving Mobs Storm Centre

Of Financial. World

TROTSKYOFFSKI, Mar. 10.- Amazing scenes were witnessed in Peddersid Streetski, main thorough- fare of Trotskyoffski, when a work- less rubble, carrying banners, in- scribed "Two Bob Dollar or Bust" and Up With the Dollar" threaten- el to wreck the building once by the Dollar Steamship

former Comrade T. B. Wilson,

of the Rotary (Third) Internationale, appealed to the mob the to disperse.. explaining that Dollar Line was now the Amerienn President.

The crowd then gave the elenched fst salute for President Dollar.

are

The Irish community took re- fuge last night by fleeing to the top of the Peninsula. The terri- ble conditions reigning in Grill- roomskl may be gauged from the report that several people were seen there with Nixon.

Many people,

ficeing to the Peninsula which, since the Crimean War, has been occupied by the British Army and Navy. It is believed that most of then man- aged to remove their Jewellery, as a rumour is now current that the peninsula has become the centre of the Dimond industry.

HOPES OF ARMISTICE But Aristrocrats Blue Paper. Does Not, Plesso Soviet MAGISTRASKI, Mar. 10. (Cen- revolutinaries Dues)--The

trai

have rejected the Kremlin's pleas for a conference. Comrade Kelly admitted this much to-day when he disdainfully tore up an invita- tion from M. Ericadmir Hims- worthski,

"It was adding insult to Injury to send the invitation on the ac cursed blue paper."-declared-Com- rude Kelly.

DIPSOMATS WORRIED Scandalnavia Talks Of Latest

Developments

15 re-

COSLO, Mar. 16 (UP)--Con- siderable tension has arisen in the Scandalnavian countries sult of the latest developments. Scandalnavlu is midway between Grillroomski and Groundfoorski, and la mostly inhabited by women. Rumours are rife in this area.

The wife of ono official crented a scusation by stating that she had left her husband to go to Rome.

Developments are also expected in the Netherlands. It has also teen sold in confidence where there Ju smoke.there is are. Many other things have also been sald in con- fidence.

Many sources confirm that the Scandinavians are not worried about monetary difficulties, what- ever their other troubles may be. "We always keep our fances up to the mark," said one.

"We can husband our resources If the worse comes to tho worse." sald another,

Many have expressed their de- termination to diet for their country If necessary.

LEADER OVERWHELMED Famous General Carried From

Combat on Stratcher. KOWLOONGRAD, Mar. 16- Uttering his famous war-cry, "An Army Moves With Its Stomach Pump," Napoleon met his Waterloo to-day at the hands of General Chitski and Colonel Shroffski, the infamous communist leaders, who ambushed him in a strip of terri- tory known as the Peninsula.

Although Napoleon, better known as Edward Kelly, fought camely against terrific odds, he was finally overwhelmed.

He was carried off the field of bottle in a stretcher,

WE PICKED

THIS OUT-

JON SALISBURY PLAIN 1915.]

"Man comes into life to seek and And his ficient beauty, to serve it, to win and increase it, to fight for it, to face anything and bear anything for it, counting death as so long as the dying eyes This is neither still turn to it." Ecclesiastes nor get Bingan, but a It seems and great living novelist, to me worthy to be printed little card and served out to every Soldier with his pay book. Each of us here, surely, has his "sufficient though then one thinks of one's own meagre attainments in actual soldiering une fights shy of text. I proclaiming so grand

of have learnt just about enough musketry to be unsafe with a rifle; the words of command come to ne just that incalculable fraction of a second too late; I have obtained such mastery of army futution would

me for the posi office boy, and here I am mouth- ing about the sufficient beauty of life! It is in the evening that one ROAL about this. It is dark,

sure the stars are out, a zentry piasICH Fur-

of

1.5

calmly a hundred feet away. ther down the Bues a gramophone is sentimentalising "Johnny O'Mor- gan, with his little mouth- playing 'Home, Sweet

That most mannerless of unlicked cubs, young Jones, i is-making-the

O voice and sentimental

acs melancholy with his

air. And I know that unto cach man in this camp, from the waster in the ranks to the least heeding sub, there is a "sufficient beauty. And in that faith we leave these shores to-morrow.

-From "L. of C." (1017).

James Agate Wrote It

OF COURSE YOU KNOW--BUT ARE YOU SURE?

1A sorbet-in the best French circles the final letter is silent- 1 :--

Kind of water ice; small piece Di toast fruit-drink; French cocktail.

2-Mount Vernon is one of the most famous places in the world, because it is

The highest peak in the United States; the burial place of Lin- coln; the home of George Wash- ington; the site of the world's astronomical abseren- biggest

,tory.

3. Fond of flowers? The colour of the romantio edelweiss im

Red; blue; yellow; white; pink; red and white; blue and purple. -The "iram-lines" on a stan dard tennis court should be sep- arated by a gap of:-

2ft.; 2ft. din.; 3ft. 6in.; 4ft.; GJL; 4ft. Gin.

G-A spelling bee which is not sho TODA fourh, Correct

10 Fan:-

Clurass; Justiciary;

quadre- provable;

"lateral; manocuvre;

guerdon; reconnaissance.

If I poured julienne on my handkerchief, people would think I was crazy, because Julienne 18: Whalesteeth's girl friend; wine; a French garment; soup; a vine,

7.In the very ton light of good things to drink is Chateau Yquem, a kind of—

Champagne; Bordeaux; claret; hock; port; brandy.

BT110 United States fas motto, rather an api one. It is:

the Dieu et mon droit; of people, for the people; nemo me impune laccessit; E Pluribus Unum. b-Gruyere, that kind of cheese which is more holes thian cheese, comes from:

France, Luxembourg; Holland;

A

You MARTIAL spirit has crept into this week's teasers. understand. There's a war on and you simply can't

That's how it is. dodge it.

So you'll just have to forgive me for mentioning the un- pleasant fact. No doubt you will have divined already, that, in common with a lot of others, I have been moved to specu- lato on martial subjects by the reticence of Mumbling Minnie. Now unsheathe the pen or pencil, furrow the brow, make a firm resolve not to PEEK at the answers, and then take the offensive against the 25..

Take two

War or no 'war, the scoring is the same. points for each correct answer. Top score is 50; over 40 is good: below 40 average; below 30 not so hot.

Switzerland; Belgium; Italy.

10-Troy, Helen's home town, where the famous wooden horse did a bit in winning the war, wan

in

Ania Minor: Crete; Egupt; . Greece: Macedonia. 11-Having nous

means know-

ing which side the old bread Is buttered on, being qulck on the uplake or what have you. You pronounce

Noose; nuse, .- nuce; nowce; noce; nose.

12-Your punting propensities A hall mark won't help you here. is sonicthing

more than a race- horse. It is a mark on:-

Gold

articles of exceptional fineness; all gold uriicies; silver articles only; articles, of gold or silver.

13. Without looking at the állas, which of these five towns would you say was the farthest noriat- Tokyo, Japan;. Venice, Italy; San Francisco, California; Pek Ing, China; Toronto, Canada.

14-Sald Murgatroyd:. "I tried" my hand on a 'sonnet. yesterday, bul when I came to the 48th line I ran out of ink, paper and In- spleation". Said I:. You want too

far. The number of sonnet is:-.

15

lines in a

Four; eight; 10; 12; 14; 20; 24.

zoological line-up In this

pick out the three birds

Guillemot: quetzal; mongoose; Jennee; vole; siski.

16-Syncope

$

commen

enough complaint, not serious in itself, but rather an indicator that there might be something wrong same where. It is more generally known as:-

Headache; palpitation; faint- ing; cleeplessness; wind around the heart.

17-Believe it or not, Germany has not the exclusive right to use the swastika. Two other European nations use it as a warplane mark- Ing. These two are in this Toti- Hungary; Denmark; Latula; Holland; Finland, Norway; Swed-

Cli

18-And while we're on the sub- fect of plane markings. The order of colours in the marking of Bri-, tish planes beginning from the outer elrele, is:-

Red, white, blue; blue, red, white; white, red, blue; blue, white, red.

-

19.-Firat of the great nations to introduce

of conscription ∙power as a defence measure was:-- Germany; Russia; France; the United States; Great Britain: Italy.

20-What with all this talk of unrestricted U-boat warfare, it is Just as well to know that the first practical submarine WAS turned out by:-

Great

Britain; Germany, France; Russia; the United States; Japan; Greece.

21 The largest, fastest and most heavily armed submarine in the

world is owned by:-

Germany Britain; Japan; Spain; U.S.A.

22-When

France;

of

tbn we speak "Merry Monarch" to whom do wo refer

King Charles I; King Edward VI; King Henry Vill; King Charles ; Queen Elizabeth; King Wencelas

23-Admiral Scheer, after whom one of Germany's marauding pOO- ket battleships is named, is famous because. 110

Was defeated by Sturdee in the battle of the Falklands; con- manded the German fleet at Jul- fand

was sank the Lusitania; captain of the Emden.

24-The vanguard of the army is that part which

Marches on its stomach; brings up the rear; is in front; carries out pincer movements from the centre; travels in the ammunition L'an..

25Here's a brain teaser. The window of 2 room was stL, high and 314, wide, Desiring more fight thdowner had the window en- Iarged to twice its original size, but when completed the job was atil 3ft. higli by 3ft. wide. How? Answers on Page 8

D

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