1940-03-08 — Page 3

ACE OF HUMORISTS

RONALD FRANKAU

EXCLUSIVE TO PARLOPHONE RECORDS

2025-If I were the Dig Dictator.

My Secretary,

R2039--Music.

Grub.

K2100-llave a tie pity on her.

The Navy, the Army, and the Follco.

R2138-I couldn't make love to the girl of to-day.

F'd rather be a savage.

RZ158--I hate vice.

You make my wheels go round.

K2199-And to bed.

It's getting harder to discover.

R2238-Faust de-bunked,

Don't tell my Mother.

R2263-Good morning Mr. Barlow.

I'd give everything I've got,

#2037-Marriage will not take place,

I don't like her circle of friends.

R2380-Take me somewhere, love is brutal.

Remember the cyclists.

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MONDAY THURSDAY

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Friday,

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH

THE grim courtyard of the Tower of London was flooded with morning light.

Men-at-arms, the Queen's Guard, and other troops were being marched into position to form a hollow square; in a corner, the headsman, a brutal-faced man with a shaven head, sat on the execution block whet- ting his axe and whistling "Lord Essex at Cadiz.”

to

March 8, 1940

Metry, Samrams Couri,

"The Private Lives

OF

ELIZABETH

AND

ESSEXTM

From The Warner Bros. Film Of The Same Name, Which Will Be Screened In Hongkong Shortly.

THE STORY THUS FAR: London, 1596. The Earl of Essex and his subordinates. Sir Walter Raleigh and Lord Howard, are just back from the storming of Cadiz, when the Queen-whose mad infatuation with Essex is notorious- summons them. Essex, enraged because Elizabeth elevates Raleigh and Howard instead of himself, protests, is struck Her across the face by the Queen, and leaves London. armies defeated in Ireland, she sends Bacon to bring back Essex, who consents only when Bacon tells of the intrigues of Raleigh and the rest. The Queen tries to prevent Essex from heading her army in Ireland, fearing he may be killed. Dared by the Council, however, he vows to go. Receiving no news from Essex, because his letters have been purloined, she orders him back to England. He marches on Whitehall meaning to take the throne. Elizabeth meets him, all is forgiven, and the old love restored, until he tells her that he must share the throne with her, when, without further warning, she consigns him to the Tower,

At a narrow casement in any

"Yes, there is! Perhaps there's

"Oh, I'm old.. . I'm old.. With you 1 could have been young again.. . Robert... take my throne

take England

But he was gone.

She stood staring as the drums increased. . reached their peak . atopped suddenly. Then the single, heavy thad of a drum. Then silence.

THE END

CAN YOU IDENTIFY THEM?

CAN

you identify the ranks and ratings of Bri-

A kitten sidled up to him. He fondled it, and went on testing the edge with gusto. When the protesting shouts ** of the populace grew louder, he lifted his head, listened outer room of the Queen's apart-one last chance! I'm going to tell tain's fighting services?

the confused sounds, ments slood Lady Penelope Grey, her about those letters. I can't!

Even

Many of the present rank- shrugged, grinned, and went looking down at the preparations keep silent any longer on with his gruesome work. (yard, and weeping bitterly.

for the execution in the court- though it's my head that rolls in ings in all European armies

HIGH within the Tower, chained to the wall of his! cell, sat Essex, dirty and unshaven, on the edge of his pallet.

Silent, he turned Eliza- beth's ring around and around on his finger.

Two men-at-arms were on guard, and a monk was in- toning Latin prayers. Like distant surf the roar of the crowd came up, and at last Essex spoke dully.

"Is Her Majesty here in the Tower?""

"Yes, my lord," said one of the guards," she took residence in her apartments above; two nights ago."

"And... no word for me?” "No, my lord.”.

"But crying won't help, deur ." said Mistress Margaret Radcliffe, softly, "Why do you cry for him?"

"Heaven knows," sobbed Pene- lope, he never cried for me!" "The Queen will not let it happen...

"The half hour's struck. He's to die at six!"

"And she's sent word?"

him no

in

the dust

beside his!"

MOVED to tears by Pene- lope's plea the Queen sent for

Essex.

descend directly from the legions of Rome, and the rest from the Middle Ages. Thus.captains, sergeants, and corporals have marched from When, haggard and grim, he the days of the pike through the emerged from the trap-door and era of the match-lock and stood before her, she dismissed | blunderbuss to the present day. the guards.

The sergeant WAS

mounted officer way back in the twelfth cen- "You spoil me for death, Eliza- tury, ranking only below a knight. beth" he said in a low voice. The title is derived from the French "Wouldn't it have been kinder to word "serviens," to serve.

leave me with my thoughts?"

"Are you so set on dying?" "If it comes

it's best that

I go forth quickly and meel it.

"You know, Robert, that I never

Corporats held much power in the sixteenth and sevententh centuries, when they were classified as superi- or staff

officers. Incidentally, the petty olleer of the Royal Navy was once called a "ship's corporal."

corporals-of-horse and corporal- majors in the place of sergeants. thinking you Let us take the senior service-

word from him! Sitting there "Not she! She's waiting for

all the night before last. all meant that you should die.'

Even lo-day the two Household Cavalry regiments, the Life Guards that room... on her Chair of and treason is punishable by death." yesterday-all last night

"I've been found guilty of trenson and the Royal Horse Guards, have State, sleepless... staring. wafting beg her pardon proud. too , too

"Heaven, help us women there nothing we

waited..

"I waiting for him to

would send the ring ... But he's too

Crossword Puzzle

ACROSS

1-Regret

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15--Wearing dect of

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10- Agonizio lados

17-Perform

10-Make happy

20-Ext

21 -En chiq manner

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31-Excess of solar

FET over 12 month

20→→Delete

25-Element in str

30-Whiriling signal

33-Arclot

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37-Insect

3-Wingman's ropes.

42-Der

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43-Perilous

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Bi-Renovate

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Bé--CHRIRoer of manor

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12-Bun god

13--One who disagrees 14-Wild pigm

19-Unbleached

23-Voting Diners

25. Parton in office

37 Exclamation

39. Part of Gouth

America

31 Female relative

14 Deink

36-Jarment

Nitipped

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10-Wind of léiderat <1eringsto 43-Come In

7- butiding 50-Profound St-Answered 33-0 to right 35-Call me! 68-3/other-of-Denij 60-Medletnal olarit 62-110/y 61--Pint embrace

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but the the Navy-Orst. Here are the rank nights went by, somehow, like the marks from midshipman to admiral days, and it never came.. and jol the fleut, here is the last morning

| last quarter hour

the

"I played for power once-and Host! But listen!"

Faint and far distant arose the angry roar of the mob, with half- comprehended cries of “Up, Essex!” "Down with the Queen!"--"Re- lease him!"

"Do you hear that. Elizabeth?" he continued tensely." The peuple are with me... and if I had another chance.

I'd win?"

"Why do you tell me this? Don't you know.. what it means?" Theu, desperately, her hands reach- "You ing blindly for his hands, can't! You can't go this way, Robert! I'll not let you! I love] you love you..

"Then .! Are you ready to give up your crown to me?"

"No! No! No, I cannot

do love you, will always love you till life is druined from mu no matter how long and lonely the after years may be! But there's another love greater even than that! England! That is my great- est and most enduring love—and when I think of what you would do

ADMIRAL OP THE PLANT

ADMAAL

VICE JEDTHRAL

COMHDOVEZ

CAPTAIN

Commator

LEUTEMANT

The title of admiral, by the way,

to my country if you were kings corrupted from a title used by I'd see you dead! Yes, and your the Moors in Spain centuries ago, soul condemned in eternity forever Their craft nt sea were commanded -before I'd let you do it!”

by Emirs Almar.

Commodores were first introduced after the Dutch wors.

"You think I don't love Eng- land?"

"You do

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next.

Trada

Now

We come to the zalings. These are some of the chief badger,

but your love does They easily identify the callings of

not match your lust for power! For the bearers:--

the greater glory of Essex you'd

drag

make war upon the world down your country and drown her in a sea of debts and blood!"

ng me

頭

"Perhaps," he murmured sadly, "you are right... If so it's better that I go! If things had been dif- |ferent, you simply a woman and not

a queen, and I a man, with no em-l pire between us, we could have Bearched heaven and earth for two perfect lovers, and ended the search with ourselves. For out of all this earth that I am now to leave, I care

petty ofBeer is easily about leaving nothing.... nothing picked out by his distinctive cap but you.

badge and three large · gilt · batlons | on the sleeve.

13

"Robert, atny with .me.. Share with me....Give me the ring.

"No

..for if I did I'd be your death or you'd be mino and you and England must live Goodbye then

my darling.",

•

The chief

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