1939-11-25 — Page 10

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LEING a white flower in his buttonhole I made the usual thoughtless crack about it being a nice day for a wed- ding, and asked him how he liked married life.

It was not until he bought a bottle of champagne in stead of the usual mild and bitter at 6.30 that I realised that the buttonhole was serious; that the man had really slipped off at lunch time and "done it"; and that my facetiousness was in- finitely bad taste at such a serious moment in a man's life.

THERE

NHERE has been a salvo of marriages. One has seen pictures of them in the papers, carrying their gas-maska, or wearing uniform, or popping photogenic smiles amid the or derly clos in which we live.

But somehow I had not ex- pected all these crusty and ex- perienced bachelor acquain- iances to marry with such calm and such determination.

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH

barrassment of which is that the virile elasticity of the English language can provido no good commonplace word for boy or girl.

The bashful young English- man is generally forced to use the ridiculous French word This is an impossible word to "fluncee" to describe his girl. Bay, and unless he is affected enough to try to pronounce it with a French accent he makes through his nose, a dreadful a shy, wistful sort of noise way of describing a nice English girl.

are the alternatives N apart from its terseness, doca

happier. To say "my girl,”

not make it absolutely clear that she is about to be your wife. To say "my betrothed" is to introduce that touch of poetry into everyday life which no decent Englishman can tolerate. To say "my girl friend" is al- ready dated. To say "my in tended" is accurate but starchy. To say "my young lady" is banal and inconclusive. To say just "Bessie" hus, a fine intimate touch but is incomprehensible to strangers,

No, we have no word for it,

WEEK-END

SECTION

NO RECEPTION

AREKILL

RIDES BRING

Quene

Marty Through The

ndbags

WEDDI

young couples str ist of war weddin ster Once a young

abrried just

ging was sounded

were uBer hate thew spon

War Wedders Are Lucky

Some people are sentimental and you'war-wedders are kicky boredom, the strangeness, the enough to regret the lack of formal trappings. Elderly re- lations In particular miss the engagement period when L junior member of the family has to trot out his intended for

to have avoided one of the major pitfalls of the langunge. Honeymoons are a more deli- cale subject; but that doesn't prevent the sentimentalist be moaning your ill-luck in forego

laborious attempts at appearing not to be newly-weds, and final- ly, the appallingly intense close- up of one another for a period of some few weeks, is an initial

clout on the head of

Home

expert guidance from people of experience.

Having a three-day honey- moon at Brighton to my credit, look back with pleasure and gratitude to the pink dome of

their critical examination, when ing a honeymoon in supposedly marriages from which it takes the late Sir Harry Preston, who

the happy couple is made into social buffoons, to be asked idiotic personal questions about their history and their inten- tlons, to be made to consume

heavy meals with light conver- sation, to be left ostentatiously alone for indefinite periods, 10 be referred to without deliency as "the lovers."

How

mad TOW happy are these war

the horrors of months of official engagement; not the least em-

unre-

romantic surroundings, vented to your relations and frienis,

How the English suffer on

honeymoons. How nervous, be wildered, uprooted and forlorn do honeymooners become, con- scientiously savouring romance

in

these same supposedly romantic surroundings clad more often than not in entirely new mackintosh because of the me clothes, topped by the inevitable

the wedders months, even years,

to recover.

It is safe to say that the wedders never see so much of each other again in any period for the rest of their life. That is one of the safest precepts of marriage.

There are wise and happy

men, I know, who have avoided tooning, les of this distorted pursuit of honey. realistic outlook, the provision The enforced idleness, the of congenial company, and by

evitable rain.

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knew just how to guide honey- mooners, who knew how to make an occasion into a form- ality, and whose polished and spicy advice to at least young couple will always be memorable if slightly idealistic.

one

I Wake no secret of the pre- sence of newly-weds in his hotel.

was Sir Harry's habit to

He was lavish with flowers, with compliments, with chocolates for the indy, with good advice and with champagne. To drink with him was to drink to every aspect of one's future, garnish- ed with formal toasts which were so becoming in the atmos- phere of Regency Brighton,

Only alas, was his advice idealistic when he said:

"A bottle of this every morning, my boy, a ride over the downs, and you will never cease to be a credit to your wife."

TTONEYMOONS.

neverthe-

Hless, are best spent as the

war-wedders arc spending them; carrying on with the job, hanging up pictures, and laying lind. My friend with the white buttonhole, a lunch-hour wed- der, must be congratulated on having missed one of the most embarrassing and exacting phases of social life.

Good wishes to all such as he who takes this important step in an orderly and enlightened man- ner without preceding it by a period of visiting family tea- Lables as coy exhibits and with- out succeeding it by living like gods and goddesses in the vacuum which is the honey- mooner's romance.

John Pudney

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1939.

Craven A never affect my

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CHESS PROBLEMS

13 D B

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CA. 524.

When Scot Meets Sassenach

WHEN

WHEN Scot and Sassenach for- gather there is often un electric current in the air which reminds us of the old feud between North and South, This "antagonism" often gives rise to many humorous silua-

tions.

When the English "gentry" come North for the Twelfth, the Scottish keepers find it difficult at times to

Puzzle Corner

Cryptogram

We start off the week with an easy cryptogram-a weather guide:

ABC DEFGHCACF JK E.LNJOC AG ABC PCEABCF PUJQE HER DC CSTCQACO KGGU, EK JUOJ- QEACO DR ABC FCVEAJXC FJKC GF YEVV CY ABC VJZNJO JU ABC ANDC.

This MERITS Attention Try Alling in the missing words, definitions of whleli aro given below:

M

(1) Average. (2) A gome. (3) Ave- nue. (4) Companionable. (0) Distant. (8) Beaches.

Leiter Juggling

Try forming 3 different 4-letter words from the 4 lottery given below, Use all 4 letters in each word!

LFW 0

How Many Straight Games? One ball team has won 0 games out of 18, Another has won 12 out of 13. How many straight games will the first team need to win from the second in order that the percent- nge of games won by the first team shall equal half that of the games won by the second?

|

keep their opinion of the Sassenach us a sportsman to themselves.

"Look, Sandy, I've hit that bird," cried a delighted novice who had itherio been unsuccessful in his attempts on the moors, "I'm certain I saw feathers fly."

"Nne dool, sir," sald Sandy dryly, "but they flew awn' wi' the "bird."

An English tourist, who had been trying his luck on a Highland loch, inquired of the boatmen: "Don't you think I've improved a lot since t begon, Dugald?”

"Ye have that, sir," agreed Dugald, "But, of course, It was easy for you to improve."

English tourist to his guide.

"Is that Ben Lomond?" sald an

Deed ny, sir."

"Have you ever been to the top?" "Dizzens of times."

"I believe with a good glass you can see Edinburgh from there."

"I doot it, air," said the guide. "I've aften had mair than half-a- mutchkin masel' on' never saw ft yet."

An Englishman, travelling in the same compartment with a Scotsman, remarked, as the train neared Forrea, This is the. locality of the 'blasted heath, is it not?”

The Scotsman was indignant, "See here, ma man," he sald angrily, "I'm an elder o' the Auld Kirk en' I'll hale mae profanity ma hearin wunner at ye! If there, WILE colleesion an' yo deld 'wi' the words in yer mou, whaur wad ye bo?"

Visting 4 fishing village, on Englishman one day met a flaherwife on the shore and inquired kindly. "How's busincas?"

I

A

"Middlin', sir, juist middlin' was the answer. "Some days I do naethin' ava', an' ithers twice DA muckle."

A Scots farmer who had journey- ed South on business was taken so Fun With Bynonyma

III there that, fearing his end had Here we have more words and come, he summoned the local parson. their synonyms for you to match:

"Well, my man," said the parson, after a few moments' talk, "I hope Center

you ore prepared to meet your Maker."

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(Answers Appear On Page 3)

"Hoots, awa'," said the farmer, "it's no Him I'm feart for avn", It's the ither birkle.".

A Cockney on a journey to Scot- land went into a village inn and demanded a bottle of "aile."

we've

"Ile, sir?" said the heat, nane the hoose, but castor ile or paroffin, Wad ony o' them do?"

Lavinia

Darwent

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