1939-10-21 — Page 8

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH WEEK-END

SECTION

What makes You

Laugh?

HAVE

you

ever con- sidered what makes you

laugh? Ever tried to analyse the scenes, the moods

that

rouse your mirth?

Curious indeed is The diversity of individual reaction

18

to an event or to story. A joke ainuscs

rouse one and fails to

the slightest smile in another. A sudden hap- pening will convulse several abservers and leave others unmoved.

de-

What in The comman nominator of laughter-rousing? Is it an identification of one's Relf with the sufferer or em- barrassed party? In it a pen- ture of rolig by the observer because he or she has eenper the sufferer's embarrasement ? Is it just a nervous reaction?

Four famous bughter-makers, proved exporta in mirth-provok ing. have been asked to deline their own renetion to mirth- provoking siturillans-not in so many words, but by choosing a story whirl to them is one of the funniest they can recall.

Which makes pen huugh the must Do you exposed to the unexpecteů. how of St Seymour Hel's story or to the unbus humanity of that

by H M Bateman? chosen

And

A good hand'

in humour..

Can you trump an ace?

Mr.

The armplations Carste

10 evening Smitts. He would go classes and improve his knowledge, of the Roglish language. He saw Bir oral außsorling nut very thior was satisfactorily arrongrel,

Some three weeks after he bart started his lessonly he was reltynitat from hood nze night when be sual- duty en poll leather

It was full of rojus.

Very excited, he hurried have to his wife, 235% must give it up to Te police nel claint a rewatch." he sujet.

But Mrs. Smith disagreed.

"Now

Eventually she had to hide 15 ber- self, still entirely guttist Mr. Smith's

what about Clancle Plet<!«TM Gmran-xf you put that in the left mi fer to have this human lech, when keep quiet about it." the satil. Gencle W1PS Yet, maybe, know the type of person, Will

fe with Just wishes, So true s deplet flan touch of exaggeratiems that some- times goes to remically tiny,

Sir Seymour Hicks

A

22:

A

as

man who slepped by arelent Info an Irish bog fel hlusself sinkinu, and as he was going down he saw in the listener a man whose hend only was showing.

He promptly called mi to

|

Some days later a policeman vante down the street making door-to- door inquiries about the missingt bag. When he resebed number 48; Mrs. Smith opened the door to him.

"No, never seen or 'oned of R," she A said. in reply to his inquiries. that precise moment Mr. Smith) poked his head over her shoulder and she exploded--"Pes not all there; potty

"Crikey! Wot's she do way it all?" "Test if I know --1 never giver for none?”

Will Hay

A country youth was In love with the dughter of a wealthy tausiness man noted for falk shrewdness ntel) Bardfondedness,

Zait

youth was too semed of the father to ask his consent to the marriage.

The hand a friend, however, who was Busyboy and afraid of no one, aussi the fitend offered in nst the father's consent. Together they approached the business Rian.

"Jack wants to marry your daugh ter," the friend said, "but he's to nervous to ask you."

"Well," said the father, "what are Jack's prospects?"

"Iva got a little business," begin Jack, whereon the friend interrupted: "A le uusiness, why, he's got the biggest business in the town."

"Fine," said the father, "has he gat Dar?"

"Well," said Jack difdently, "I've not a little two-seater,"

"A Bitte two-seater," said his

The pobleeman hesitated a moment. Then, very deliberately, he replies, lying fluently, he's got

Rolls-Royer, a Daimler-he's got a "No, missis, I don't see. Here, come

feet of cars,” out a minute my man

"And how is his healib?" asked the father.

"any, i'm dreadfully rorry I can't come and help you, but you see they awful mule i ran in myself."

The man repliest.

"Oh, don't bother about me, on horseback,"

Cracie Fields

A

Fin

The son of Mr. and Mrs. Smith went abroad,

At the

request of his parents be

"I tell you 'e's poity

potty

Now

. Absolute

"Wall a bu.. Wait a bil Now. let's hear it my man. What was it You wrɛe saying?"

"Well, it's like this 'ere. On Tues- day night was coming 'omne from schnol

policeman~~~ interrupted: "Blimey. missis, you're right after all, Sorry to bother you. Good day, Good day

The

wrote every week giving H. M. Bateman them all the news. Unfor-

tunately Mr. and Mrs. Smith were very literate, and on

several occasions they found it almost their son's impossible to decipher letters.

For some time this distressed them greatly, expeelally when later letters revealed that earlier ones had been misunderstool.

Out of the multitude of funny stories one hears in the course of years it is well nigh impossible to choose one in particular being funnier than all the others. However, the fallowing seems to me to be of the first water. If I re- member rightly it was illustrated by the late Pl May.

“Wot's the matter, Erb-you took

Al last they determined to take ali future correspondence across to their learned neighbours. This worked quite well, but somehow they disliked?" Hearing their son's more intimate phrases read out in the cold, un- emotional voice of fa comparative stranger,

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"Yus, It's my ule woman's the cause

"Why, wot's wrong wie er?” "Oh, it's money, money, money with 'er, morals', noun, an' night."

PUZZLE

Cryptogram

An easy cryptogram, to-day-

!

"I've got a little court," said Jacki apologetically.

"A to cough," cried his friend, he's got consumption."

Fake Doctor Stole 10s.

A DRUG-ADDICT who posed as a doctor was sent to prison for a year by the Marylebone magistrate recently-"so that he might have medical attention."

He was William Arthur Young. aged 60, accused of stealing 10s. from a Hampstead doctor and being un- authorised passession of morphine.

Mr. Vincent Evans, prosecuting, said Young told the doctor he was a medical

i

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1939.

When a Submarine Sinks..

M

EN trapped in submarines have a better chance of res- cue now than Ave years ago. But being a member of a submarine crew remains a job for men prepared to take special riska.

In a British submarine chance of aurvival depends upon the Davis rescue apparatus, adopted by the Admiralty after the disaster to the Poseidon, off Wel-hai-wel, in 1931,

J * *

This apparatus is provided separately for each man. It looks rather like a gas mask with a cylinder of oxygen connected to it. The oxygen cylinder is worn round the chesi and serves as a lifebelt if the wearer renches the surface.

The men put on the apparatus in the aubmarine. Two by two they pass into a apecini escape hatch. They partly fond the hatch, and when the pressure outside and in is equal the hatch is opened, and in the great bubble formed by the escaping air they pase to the surface.

*

*

The gathering water pr::sure la the hatch while the men are still waiting to be

Testing The Davis Apparatus

released makes the operation a dangerous strain.

The most considerable British success In rescue work was the saving of part of the crew of the Poseidon.

91x used the Davis apparatus to reach the surfner, but one died later.

The disappearance of the Thetis came at a noment when the Interest of all navies had been aroused by the most successful submarine rescue ever accomplished.

AA SAARASAÅÅÅÅÅSARA S

IS

What Noses MAN IS

Tell

LIVE me," saiti Napoleon, "a man with a big LUST." The mon of Austerlitz knew that, all things being equal, a large nose indiented energy with driving force. All is marshals were so gifted.

%-

hardly

SIR Farquhar Buzzard's statement

fre

lives that people whose planne: in a machine-like schedule are not likely to be so healthy as those who are careless and Irregular In their habits is plain triath that nected to be uttered.

We have heard too much in recent years of the virtues of regular babits, And though clework punctuality may be essential to the sucessful up- bringing of babies, the rule is not one that holds goal threghout life.

The Fate sent him the Duke of Wellington, who had a bigger nose in any of them; and that was his dewefull Wellington was known as wold Beaky" to his trope; and aft

A point often overlooked is that no the contemporary earlestrists

nap is normal. We have the same that feature nggerated

kind nad number of bodily organs, needed rimphosisling.

but the functioning of these is some- Most notable military commanders thing that is individual to each one Juve had good, solid noses. Jutting us. Just as no two fugerprints are from the face. Buller.tike, so does Nature avoid duplient- we out

In the way our badles work. Roberts, Kitchener, Huig. Plumer- these are some modern examples, and Euch human being has his own antiquity gives ufi Cresar, Hannibal,ersonal requirements in the way of and Alexander,

food, uir, rest, recreation, and labour; the more closely these are examined,

Studying the faces of these success- [ful generate one, is struck with an- the more will they be seen to differ other characteristle. The is from the needs of any ather living

Hose

the

the

prominent: and besides this, cheekbones are high, and come well ap underneath the eyes.

This indicates watchfiness. possessor sleeps with one eye open. is the saying goes, and his adversary must rise very early in the morning to get the better of him,

| The Finishing Touch

and min from Canada, obtained several prescriptions for morphine on different dates,

Finally, he induced the doctor to lend him ten shillings, which he did not return.

He had also obtained

74 grains of morphine in Brighton, and other amounts in Bexhill. Eastbourne, and Kuslings.

CORNER

Cryptograni

This cryptic message touches un quotation by Macaulay on "Charac- | the subject of #cography: ter."

SMALL HUTSYTLTSX LY- "ABC DCEFGHICIJE DEK'FAUZL. "BXVB, BTC "BDAVHB- ICEM LBEHELACH NF OBEA BCEUACLA UT SML *FLCVSLAABT- OIGMP PI NJ BC QKCO BC LET XLB, DIGMP KCRCH SC JIGKP IGA."

A Charado

At the Zoo Certain letters on signs at the zoo This calls for a D-letter word. had been rubbed off. As an example, "First" and "Two" refer to the first the sign PR should have and accond parts of the "whole" have shown "APE." Can you udd word,

the names of animals in the blanks below to form other words:

MY FIRST means to con and to pore Garments and clothes in my TWO To speak and to converso once more la to WHOLE; now solve this, pleasa

du!

What Is the Difference

What is the difference between

Letter Juggling

TRY

D

ING GLOVE

— — we ✡ERED UN va — 1

Letter Changing

7

person, The Body's Changing Needs

It is not only impossible, therefore a set of but absurd, to formulate rules and say that these represent the ideul that all must follow. It is fearly as bad to discover one's own set of rules by a process of trial and error and to cling to them through When, in addition to these features, the missing years. The body's re- the subject as a jutting chin, such

quirements change, it becomes over as one sees in the portraits of We-

accustomed to certain things so that lington, he becomes well-nigh they lose any value they might once

Whatever his vocation, he

end it wil vincible.

have had, and in the will overcome all obstacles.

usually be found that the rules are Apart from military commanders, more harmful than the exceptions. many celebrated men have had large-classic-example. is the case, of. noves. One secs This in several Mr. John D. Rockefeller, the Ameri-- literary men. Dickens had a well- can multi-millionaire. In his youth developed nose; with wide nostrils; he cheerfully ignored all the rules of and he was one of the most energetic health and wrecked his digestion by of writers,

Thackeray, would have had n nase of respectable size; but it had been broken in a fight at school. Those indefatigable and fertile writers of France, Dumas and Baize, bed good- sized noses, too.

long working hours, worry, and irre- gular meals. In the process of doing fortune so he built up the greatest that one man has ever accumulated by his own efforts.

Then Rockefeller deelded to de- dicate himself to the object of keep- One glance at the picture of Jean ing himself alive, and, by living u Dryden reveals a long and prominent ille of perfect regularity and avoid. nose. That of Shakespeare was a ing all emotional strain, he lived till good length. and dipped over the he was over 90., upper lip.

no only

All these men were writers of gentus; but remarkable for

energy und restless

overflowing vitality, which resulted in a vast out- gut,

are

hose

The noses of great men are not straight and only large; they clear-cut. The thick, coarse may indiente a low and sensuul mature, with a tendency in some cases towards crime.

The snub nose is generally supposed la denote an animal nature; but, as

The point is that the birth of his devotion to health synchronised with the death of his constructive capacity. It is sufe to say that if he had re- versed his life and adopted the system at his latter years during his youth. he would never have lifted himself Incidentally, the from obscurity. fact that he played ducks and drakes with his health for his first 60 years or so obviously did not shorten his allotted span by a single day. Routine Defled

Mr. Bernard Shaw would say, you In the vast majority of cases we never can tell. Two of aur greatest and that the man who fits his life philosophers-one modern and the into a strict routine destroys any other of antiquity-had noses dis- tinctly of the snúb order, They were Charles Darwin and Socrates. But in each case the brow was wide and lofty, which redeemed the face to a large exent. The High-Brows

the

creative capacity he may have pos Kessed,

And, conversely, it is the or whose man who lacks initiative mental powers are beginning to fall who is most in love with the idea of a set daily schedule.

The vigorous, alert body and brain rebel from the normal. It is their natural instinct to assert themselves and to emphasise their essential dif- ference from others.

Here is a good place in which to refute the prevalent idea that a high forehead means intelligence. It does nat. A person with a high, narrow The late Lord Birkenhead had one brow will not be necessarily full of of the finest legal brains this coun-

wide forchend brain. It is

try has over produced. To the end of his life he seemed to Incrense In which indicates intellect; and if it is

brillance and authority. Yet both lofty as well, so much the better

For centuries the "Greek" type of in his work and in his social life he nose has been supposed to be attrae- ignored practically every rule of tive. This sort makes a continuous health that was ever formulated.

lie would go from an all-ridelat atsitzig line with the forehead, as we see in

at the House to his chambars;" he would the statues and busts of the ancient

there absorb in an hour or all the sculptors of Greece. Men with nasol enmplicated details of some legal care, and then, with to sleep and a snatched orguns, of this shape, however, are

breakfast, go to the Courts and pulverise inclined to be untrustworthy and

his opponents Kiven to selfishness.

True, he might havo lived a few years longer if he had led a careful Bfe, though

This may be redeemed by other Following the usual rules, try features, such as well-placed, wide- Iwenty-four quart bottles and four changing LOSE to BEAT in 3 moves. open eyes and # Arm, clear-cut more likely to be the case when the and twenty quart bottles?

mouth, When Judging a person by nostrils are well-cut and sunslive. the facial characteristles, one should The owner of the broad-tipped balance one feature against the other, nose is generally solid, sensible, and The pointed nose is inclined to be reliable, Earl Baldwin has this type Inquisitive; but not in any prying or of nose; and one may notice it on disgreeable way. The nose with a several of our modern captains of high, thin bridge denotes refinement Industry.

and delicney of feeling. This is

Four different 6-letter words may be formed from the 5 letters given below. Use all 5 loltern In cach word:

AELNS

Arrange the Figures · Arrange the figures below so that they will total 4,444:

3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 44.44

Claude Gal

The United States Navy saved 33 of the crew of 50 of the Squadus. This is much the largest rescue from a submarine, and it was performed in the teeth of un- usually diMeult conditions.

The Squalus was lying at a depth of 240 feet compared with the 110 feet of the Poseidon, and the repcried 132 feet of the Thetis.

*

The United Statca unval authorities were trying for the first time a new rescue chamber.

This consists of a large diving bell, which is lowered and clamped over the hatch of the submarine. The hatch is opened, and six or seven men at a time pass Into the chamber of the belt. The bell is then raised to the surface, and lowered again for the next batch of men.

The

* * *

British Admiralty experimented with the diving bell" system before the During the war the idea was aban- doned, as certain technical difficulties could not be overcome.

war.

The Davis system was made standard about 1034, and La regarded by the Admiralty as the equal of the perfected American rescue chamber.

NOT A MACHINE

By a

Street

Wimpole Doctor

But I open to doubt; and 11 18. morally ertain rat under the deadening in- Duence of dull routine his genium would ho willed nulled.

Elson, the inventor, wax Indifferent to both fond and rest when he was work

on he discoveries. For days on end t would be shut in in his faboratory. Selimes eating while he worked and Kartlinex forgetting food altogether. fr was content with an hour or so's sleep antehes out of the 24, but his health realned good, and he not only lived the kormal span of humanity but maintained his inventive genius to the last.

General Routh, founder of the Salvation Army, was a man of the same type. At the age of 50, when he inunched his "Darkest England" campaign, he hardly lvit nice for months at a fine. Aft through the night he would work, takin perhaps two or three hours sleep on a bota. Yele ved to 64, and the only serious liners he ever had was his last elle,

Last Confidence

Tales of tealth may be admirable as A general guide, but their strict observance portesses one grave disadvantage. Those with follow them become obsessed with health: they need constant reaRuring herd for preserving their precious that their chosen method is efficient. The number of health fanatics who are regular visitors to the doctor's consulting room to have. confidence in themselves restored is suggering,

#1

is undeniable fact that those who are constantly thinking of disease and Dearing i urinet den masi likely it be come its viethes. One of the first things learned by every doctor and nuere is a cheerful indifference to darase. Th

we are constablly in contact with Hiness and the very nature of our profession forbids regular meals and undisturbe deep, doctors generalty enjoy long and healthy lives.

trreguint living is not a matter of Mmply defying conventions and giving way to bad habits in the endeavour to volt normality. 1 la question of do- ing what you want when you feel like doing it and damning the consequences.

It you feel like altting up 18, three in the moralng to finish some work, do so. it you don't happen to feet hungry, miss Beat Miss a whole day's inents if you Be and you will be all the better for St.

At Concert Pitch

You see, nue of the most valuable pro- perite i human body possesses is 188 adulability. It can deal successfully with nearly every emergency with which kely to be tocest, It it is only alven the chanes. But this indispensable fncilly can be easily fakt, and one of the best ways of losing it is by failing to give it the practice it needs

If you always kept in one iemperature. for instance, you would lose the capacity to adapt yourself to heat and cold; youş would become a martyr to incessant chill in exactly the same way, every part of the hody needs n series of emer kenetes to deal with if it in to be kept tip to concert plich,

And that is why, the man whe seerns to "take care of himself" usually ven long and does not trouble the doctor. 17. by eliance, he should end his days before he is taken by senlie decay—well, he has at any rate lived,

Pamela picked

at her food

BUT PAMELA, DARLING, DO EAT YOUR VEGETABLES, YOU'LL NEVER GROW INTO A BIG CIRL

LUT HER CO AND PLAY, IF SHE DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE

THIS HOT WANTING TO EAT, MARS BURTON, GORS BACK TO HEA SLEER YOU SEE,CHILDREN GROW DURING SLEEP. THIS USES UP ENERGY, HEARTREATS AND BREATHING AT NIGHTENE

ALSO USE THEIZ

ENERGY...

AND SO EVERY NIGHT

PAN'S LOOKING STUERIER ALBRADY MOTHER I THIS HORLICKTIE DOING HER GOODSK

I

TOC'SPECIALLY THIS CHOCOLAT PLAVOURED

HORLICKS

TF your child is pale, 'nervy.' tires easily, if she's fussy over her food, remember what the doctor Said. Guard your child against Night Starvation

(Whispera) BUT JACK, I'M

LO WORRIED ABOUS PAM SHE WON'T EAT, SHE'S GETTING SO PALE AND

"NERYY'

(hipers)

FR WORRIED, TOO, BUT IT'S NO USE FORCING KES, WHT NOT STI. THE DOCTOR ?

AND IF ENERGY SIN'T REPLACED OF COURSE CHILDREN GET 'NERWY DIFICUL AND TADDY: IEE NIGHT STARVATION, I STRONGLY ADVISE HORLICKS.

SIX WEEKS LATER

I'M GOING TO EAT JOME MORE WHER ÉVE FINISHED THISÍ,

THANK DOODNESS

104

give her Horlicks at bedtime.

Horlicks is best when made in the special Hor- licks mixer, obtainable at all good stores

at bedtime strengthens nerves,

HORLICKS bude pilte, guarde children

KS

against Night Starvation.