1938-04-22 — Page 6

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 1938,

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THE "VERY IDEA"

IN A DAZZLING FLASH IT CAME TO US

By Eddie "Thin Man" Kelly 'INCE LAST ́WEEK-END WE HAVE BEEN DOING A SPOT SOF SLEUTHING

As a result we can now announce that we have solved the mystery of the post office explosions.

We had to discard several theories before we finally did so. At first it was believed that a popular young man about

| town, well-dressed, upper part of lip covered with faint wavy

TYRE EXPENSE SAVED moustache; handsome; brilliant raconteur, whose name we can't

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mention here because it's one of the rules of journalism that you can't give yourself a puff, may have written a rather in- flammatory letter to one of his girl friends.

There was every location, niso, that the same chappie was due to receive an explosive letter from a low-down Accountant who seems to do nothing all day but gloat aver oid autographs, signed in hotels and other ke places,

Neither of these caused the Post Office Explosions.

Nor was it caused by Mr. Wynne Jones, the Postmaster General, expressing annoyance when he discovered that some low cad had pleted the gum from one of his new two-cent stamps.

As a matter of fact, our theory is that there wasn't an explosion, There was definitely a loud bang!

And plenty of smoke.

Anyone with st of reasoning should have known that the bang was the Rents Commission's Iteport,

It you search around you can still see the smoke. Every now and then a high Government official or a landlord peeks out from behind it and shauts "Boo?" to the tenants.

Letters now away from this loathesome office!

GRIN AND BEAR IT

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The

Hongkong Telegraph.

FRIDAY, APR. 22, 1938,

TRADE OFFERS SECURITY

It has been said that all wars are fought for trade. Many economists now preach that the causes of war would be removed to a great extent if the world could once more enjoy free com- mercial intercourse, One of the most convincing arguments in this connection recently was advanced by Mr. W. A. Aldrich, chairman of the Board of Direc- tors of the Chase National Bank of New York. He is recognised as an authority on his subject. "An easy flow of international trade is one of the surest foundations of international peace," he said. He was ad- vocating the reduction of Ameri- trade restrictions, and it

can

WANT

HOW LONG DO YOU TO LIVE?

-by- James

Agate

T first sight this is a silly question. Silly because the answer so obviously is: As long as I jolly well can. I think a better answer would be: As long as I can and still remain jolly.

Does any man really want to live after he is, as Shakespeare says, "Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything"?

MOUTRIE & CO., LTD. has been through the influence I want to discuss is sticking on to life and not avoiding death.

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IT is always as well to know exactly what one is talk

ing about. Therefore let it be made clear that what On that subject Claudio in Shakespeare's "Measure for Mea- The weariest and most-loathed worldly life That age, ache, penury and imprisonment Can lay on nature is a paradise To what we fear of death.

No.

What is imperishable fame and Napoleon's fame was cer tain whichever way the battle

PRACTICAL way of

A solving our little prob-

lem is to arrange that one's work is of.a sort to last one's lifetime.

Let us not become like that William miserable old buffer, Congreve, who first dazzled the London stage in 1693 with a

went-weighed in the scales play called "The Old Bachelor," against twenty years, a year, a written at the age of twenty- month, another day? Which of three. Four years

later he

us, unless he is in, unbearable wrote his single tragedy" con- physical agony, would leave the taining the famous line which world one instant sooner for any is always quoted as reward whatsoever?

Heroes, I think, are not moved

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Congreve wrote three other to the deeds which make them

make up the heroes by the prospect of re- comedies which nown present or posthumous; finest prose trio in the English were they so moved the deeds language, the last being "The Way of the World," written at would not be done.

NOW take the case of the age of thirty.

Master Betty the boy- MOST inexplicable of all actor who was known as the Roscius. This

Infant speare, with this difference- Young Phenomenon, who was born at that the greatest dramatist who Shrewsbury in 1791, made his has ever lived seemed to care. first stage appearance in Belfast little for fame even when he had. at the age of eleven.

it. Fame as a poet, yes: fame At once he leaped into fame as as a dramatist, no.

is the case of Shake-

a great tragic actor, for indeed

Now why did Shakespeare at he was able to sustain the the height of his powers give up heaviest tragic roles.

of such men and with the sympathy of the Roosevelt ad-sure" has said the last word ministration that the British overtures for a trade pact have

playwriting, sell his shares in won such a splendid response

The time was admittedly in the Globe Theatre, and retire to from the United States. There

No man ever feared dying more than Dr. Johnson, and Bos-

twenty years can be no doubt but that the well's "Life" has many passages on the subject. Here is one: the boy's favour. Garrick had Stratford?

This is a problem the world that I mentioned to him that I had seen the execution of several been dend some

solve. Yet collaboration of these two great commercial systems,

convicte at Tyburn, two days before, and that none of them seem- and the great Kean was not to will never repre-

JOHNSON: "Most of them, sir, make his appearance in London Shakespeare retained some in- terest in the theatre is proved sented by the British and Ameri-ed to be under any concern.

Still there were some good by the fact that after he had re- can democracies, can show the have never thought at all." BOSWELL: "But is not the fear for another twelve.

"So much so, sir, that

thoughts actors about, and there must tired to Stratford he bought a world the easiest way out of the of death natural to man?" JOHNSON:

the whole of life is not keeping away the present economic morass,

of it." He then, in a low and earnest tone, talked of his meditat- have been something in the boy, town house near the Blackfriars Rowe gives a possible explana- ing upon the awful hour of his own dissolution, and in what man- since in those days the playhouse Theatre. ner he should conduct himself upon that occasion: "I know not was the repair of all the wits.

mightily and for five years earn- tion. The latter part of Shake- and his proponents advocate, (said he) whether I should wish to have a friend by me, or have Master Betty pleased these

it all between God and myself." that it requires little explana- Probably a much more worthwhile question would be: How ed from fifty to seventy-five speare's life was spent, as all tion. First, it must be granted long should a man want to live? A noble answer would be: Until guineas a night! that the prosperity of any na- he has accomplished the work he was sent into the world to do. tion is generally estimated upon¦—— its: internal and external trade,

It

is really such an obvious

course, that which Mr. Aldrich

men of sense may wish theirs In 1805 the House of Com- may be in ease, retirement, and mons adjourned to witness Mas- the conversation of his friends." Perhaps Anne Hathaway had is very easy to make ter Betty's Hamlet.

her way in this matter. decisions for other peo- At the age of thirty-three this and of the two the latter is the many and Italy, as examples, pie in this matter. I remember young gentleman retired, after most trustworthy criterion. If buying the minimum of wheat, when I was a schoolboy being which, having amassed a for-

but uncollectable foreign loans in exchange for goods it huis exported. It is necessary to adopt a "cash" system, and the creditor countries must be paid In gold. It is apparent that this raw

must one-sided arrangement

cotton, wool and

IT

WHICH reminds me of

chickens.

Hortense Hathaway,

as all good readers of who, numerous other essential com- historian that it was lucky for and perfect content for, if you Damon Runyon know, is the daughter of a taxi-jockey by the however, it must also be pre- pared to buy. The moment it modities in the world market. Gustavus Adolphus to die when please, a whole half-century.

He died three years before I name of Skush O'Brien, and a tries to sell without buying it is and falling back on substitutes. he did.

I think the histórian's point was born, and I once spoke to very rough guy at that. And ng a next step in this

This Hathaway, on her mar- straining the credit of its cus- tomer. Ultimately those credits argument for freer trade let Mr. was that the Swedish king, hav- somebody who knew Master must become frozen, and the Aldrich speak: "We see the ing attained the height of mili- Betty in his old age and did not riage to Feet Samuels, retires tendency for countries which tury glory, was fortunate to die at the time realise that he had from the Hot Box, which is a buying country gets increasing-

to raise able fame before some flaw in the stage. Is anybody going to and rye whisky without the rock ly into debt, and the selling have not the cash resources to in battle, and so win imperish ever had any connection with cafe where they sell rock candy

gentleman candy to the country country finds itself with nothing buy freely in the outside world nature had developed to lessen begrudge the old

would those fifty years? and foods that fame. But what the raw materials

On the other hand, I am one Which, again, brings our story that they need, going to war or have been Gustavus's view of

of those who have always re- down to modern times and the Similarly it might be held, I gretted that the Kaiser, when solution to a problem which threatening to go to war, for dying at thirty-eight?"

mentioned. Gustavus colonies from which they be- lieve they might obtain food or suppose, that Nelson was lucky he saw that the game was up, must always be personal. We

materials. If they had to die at Trafalgar, and so not did not go over the top single- have easy access to the world mar-, live to be chained to that blowzy handed, if possible on a white Adolphus, Dr. Johnson, Nelson,

ton ultimately became.

This gesture would have shown' greve, Voltaire, Bismarck, and the goods they produce efficient-

So, too, the friends of Napo- the world that the Roche Em- the ex-Kaiser, and I do not figure of the same that I am much like any of these is quickly exhausted.

except perhaps Gustavus Adol- Debtor countries are driven to ly in exchange for those vitally leon (if he had any) may have peror was made desperate expedients by trade needed foods and raw materials, wished that he had died at metal as the Boche private,

have been The difference between Napo- phus.

But I know this: that if ever restrictions. Since they cannot we should have a very different Waterloo and so

spared those six terrible years of leon and the Kaiser Is the differ- numbing despair.

ence between anti-climax and I inherit a fortune I shall retire GLOUCESTER HOTEL Tel, 28938 sell, they cannot buy, and they picture."

It is far better, as Mr. Aldrich

But that about Nelson? Would ignominy, I have long suspect to the country, raise so many are forced to attempt, some- times with fair results, to pro- says, for people to work for he have desired donth in the ed that Bismarck's "lath painted ponies that you can't see the duce some sort of substitute for their living rather than fight for moment of victory? Did Napo to look like Iron" was less appli- landscape for hoofs, and live as of whom it was said than to his too much whether I am of any the Imports they are lacking it. And unrestricted trade goes Idon want to dio in the hour of cable to the British statesman long as I can without worrying

use to anybody. To-day the world can see the far towards removing the ex-defcat?

own master. result of the trade war: Gor-cuse for comba

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soon come to an end for the gold.kets so that they could send out harridan which Emma Hamil horse, and drawing a sabre. Napoleon, Master Betty, Con-

I think the answer must be: