1938-04-22 — Page 18

New Life to your Worn Tyres!

TYRE-RETREAD

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 1988.

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THE “VERY IDEA”

IN A DAZZLING FLASH

IT CAME TO US

By Eddie "Thin Man" Kelly

INCE LAST WEEK-END WE HAVE BEEN DOING A SPOT

OF SLEUTHING.

SINGE

As a result we can now announce that we have solved the mystery of the post office explosions.

We had to discard several theories before we finally did so. At first it was believed that a popular young man about town, well-dressed, upper part of lip covered with faint wavy moustache; handsome; brilliant raconteur, whose name we can't mention here because it's one of the rules of journalism that you can't give yourself a puff, may have written a rather in-. flammatory letter to one of his girl friends.

There was evory Indicatlun, also, that the same chappie was due to receive an explosive letter from a low-down Accountant who seems to do nothing all day but gloat over old autographs, signed in hotels und other Hke places

Neither of these caused the Post Office Explosions.

7

Nor was I caused by Mr. Wynne Jones. the Postmaster General, expressing annoyance when he discovered that some low cad had pluched the sum from one of his new two-cent stampa..

As a matter of fact, our theory is that there wasn't an explosion. There was definitely a loud bang!

And plenty of smoke,

Anyone will a spat of reasoning should have known that thes bang was the Rents Cominisalon's Report.

If you search around you can still see the smoke. Every now and then a high Government official or a landlord peeks out from behind it and shouts "Boo!" to the tenants,

Letters now away from this loathesome office i

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The

Hongkong Telegraph.

FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 1938.

TRADE OFFERS SECURITY

It has been said that all wars are fought for trade. Many economists now preach that the causes of war would be removed to a great extent if the world could once more enjoy free com- mercial intercourse. the most convincing arguments! in this connection recently was: advanced by Mr. W. A. Aldrich, chairman of the Board of Direc- tors of the Chase National Bank of New York. He is recognised

One of

HOW LONG

DO YOU WANT

TO

by James

LIVE?

A gate

lem

A PRACTICAL way of

solving our little prob-

is to arrange that one's work is of a sort to last one's lifetime.

No. What is imperishable fame miserable old buffer, William Let us not become like that -and Napoleon's fame was cer- Congreve, who first, dazzled the tain whichever way the battle London stage in 1603 with 11 went-weighed in the scales play called "The Old Bachelor," against twenty years, a year, a written at the age of twenty- month, another day? Which of three. Four years later he us, unless he is in unbearable wrote his single tragedy con- physical agony, would leave the taining the famous line which world one instant sooner for any is always quoted as reward whatsoever?

"Hell hath no fury like a Heroes, I think, are not moved

woman scorried." I jolly to the deads which make them

Congreve wrote three other heroes by the prospect of re- comedies which

make up the nown present or posthumous; finest prose trio in the English were they so moved the deeds language, the last being "The would not be done.

Way of the World," written at Now take the case of the age of thirty.

Master Betty the boy- actor who was known as the MOST inexplicable of all Young Roscius. This Infant speare, with this difference- Phenomenon, who was born at that the greatest dramatist who Shrewsbury in 1791, made his has ever lived seemed to care first stage appearance in Belfast little for fame even when he had at the age of cleven.

it. Fame as a poet, yes: fame At once he leaped into fame as as a dramatist, no. a great tragic actor, for indeed he was able to sustain the the height of his powers give up heaviest tragic roles.

T first sight this is a silly question. Silly because

the answer so obviously is: As long as well can.

I think a better answer would be: As as an authority on his subject. long as I can and still remain jolly. "An easy flow of international

Does any man really want to live after he is, as trade is one of the surest foundations of international Shakespeare says, "Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans peace," he said. He was ad- everything"? vocating the reduction of Ameri-

can

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COUNT. THE “TELEGRAPHS" EVERYWHERE

of such men and with the sympathy of the Roosevelt ad- ministration that the British overtures for a trade pact have

won

On that subject Claudio in Shakespeare's "Measure for Mea- sure" has said the last word:

The weariest and most-loathed worldly life That age, ache, penury and imprisonment Can lay on nature is a paradise To what we fear of death.

is the case of Shake-

Now why did Shakespeare at

such a splendid response, from the United States. There

No man ever feared dying more than Dr. Johnson, and Bos- The time was admittedly in the Globe Theatre, and retire to playwriting, sell his shares in can be no doubt but that the well's "Life" has many passages on the subject. Here is one:- the boy's favour. Garrick had Stratford? collaboration of these two great I mentioned to him that I had seen the execution of several been dead some twenty years commercial systems, repre- convicts at Tyburn, two days before, and that none of them seem- and the great Kean was not to

This is a problem the world sented by the British and Ameri-ed to be under any concern. JOHNSON: "Most of them, sir, make his appearance in London Shakespeare retained some in- -will never solve. Yet that can democracies, can show the have never thought at all." BOSWELL: "But is not the fear for another twelve.

JOHNSON: world the easiest way out of the of death natural to man?"

"So much so, sir, that

Still there

terest in the theatre is proved were some good by the fact that after he had re- the whole of life is not present economic moruss,

keeping away the thoughts actors about, and there must tired to Stratford he bought a of it." He then, in a low and earnest tone, talked of his meditat- have been something in the boy, town house near the Blackfriars It is really such an obvious ing upon the awful hour of his own dissolution, and in what man- course, that which Mr. Aldrich ner he should conduct himself upon that occasion: "I know not and his proponents advocate, (said he) whether I should wish to have a friend by me, or have it all between God and myself." that it requires little explana-

Probably a much more worthwhile question would be: How tion. First, it must be granted long should a man want to live? A noble answer would be: Until that the prosperity of any na- he has accomplished the work he was sent into the world to do. tion is generally estimated upon its internal and external trade,

And

as a next step in this

since in those days the playhouse Theatre. was the repair of all the wits. Master Botty pleased these Rowe gives a possible explana- mightily and for five years earn-

tion. "The latter part of Shake- ed from fifty to

as all guineas a night!

seventy-five speare's life was spent,

men of sense may wish theirs In 1805 the House of Com- may be in ease, retirement, and mons adjourned to witness Mag. the conversation of his friends." IT is very easy to make ter Betty's Hamlet.

Perhaps Anne Hathaway had At the age of thirty-three this her way in this matter.

decisions for other peo-

WHICH reminds me of

Hortense Hathaway,

country finds itself with nothing/buy freely in the outside worldable fame before some flaw in the stage. Is anybody going to and rye whisky without the rock

but uncollectable foreign loans in exchange for goods it hus

and of the two the latter is the many and Italy, us examples,ple in this matter. I remember young gentleman retired, after most trustworthy criterion. If buying the minimum of wheat when I was a schoolboy being which, having amassed a for- a nation is going to sell goods, lard, tobacco, cotton, wool and struck by the remark of some tune, he lived in total obscurity who, as all good readers of however, it must also be pre-numerous other essential com- historian that it was lucky for and perfect content for, if you Damon Runyon know, is the pared to buy. The moment it modities in the world market, Gustavus Adolphus to die when please, a whole half-century. tries to sell without buying it is and falling back on substitutes. he did.

daughter of a taxi-jockey by the He died three years before I name of Skush O'Brien, and a straining the credit of its cus-

I think the historian's point was born, and I once spoke to very rough guy at that. tomer. Ultimately those credits argument for freer trade lat Mr. was that the Swedish king, hav- somebody who knew Master

This Hathaway, on her mar- must become frozen, and the Aldrich speak: "We see

the ing attained the height of mili- Botty in his old age and did not riage to Feet Samuels, retires buying country gets increasing- tendency for countries which tary glory, was fortunate to die at the time realise that he had from the Hot Box, which is a ly into debt, and the all have not the cash resources to in battle, and so win imperish ever had any connection with cafe where they sell rock candy

nature had developed to lessen begrudge the old gentleman candy to the country the raw materials and foods that fame. But what

to raise would those fifty years?

chickens. that they need, going to war or have been Gustavus's view of On the other hand, I am one exported. It is necessary to threatening to go to war, for dying at thirty-eight?.

Which, again, brings our story of those who have always re- down to modern times and the adopt a "cash" system, and the colonies from which they be Similarly it might be held. I gratted that the Kaiser, when solution to a problem which creditor countries must be paid lieve they might obtain food or suppose, that Nelson was lucky he saw that the game was up, must always be personal. We

materials. If they had to die at Trafalgar, and so not did not go over the top single- have In gold. It is apparent that this raw

mentioned Gustavus one-sided

must easy access to the world mar-live to be chained to that blowzy handed, if possible on a white Adolphus, Dr. Johnson, Nelson, arrangement 2001 come to an end for the gold kets so that they could send out harridon which Emma Hamil horse, and drawing a sabre. Napoleon, Master Betty, Con-

ton ultimately became.

This gesture would have shown grove, Voltaire, Bismarck, and So, too, the friends of Napo- the world that the Boche Em- the ex-Kaiser, and I do not figure leon (if he had any) may have peror was made wished that he had died at metal as the Boche private.

of the same that I am much like any of these, Waterloo and so have been

except perhaps Gustavus Adol- The difference between Napo- phus. spared those six terrible years of leon and the Kaiser is the differ- But I know this: that if ever are forced to attempt,

numbing despair. some- It is far better, ás Mr. Aldrich

ence between anti-climax and I inherit a fortune I shall retire times with fair results, to pro- says, for people to work for he have desired death in the cd that Bismarck's "lath painted ponies that you can't see the But that about Nelson? Would ignominy. I have long suspect to the country, raise so many duce some sort of substitute for their living rather than fight for moment of victory ? Did. Napo- to look like fron" was less appli- landscape for hoofs, and live as the imports they are lacking. It. And unrestricted trade goes leon want to die in the hour of cable to the British statesman long as I can without worrying To-day the world can see the far towards removing the ex- defeat?

of whom it was said than to his too much whether I am of any result of the trade war:, Ger-feuse for combat,

own master.

is quickly exhausted.

the goods they produce efficient- Debtor countries are driven to ly in exchange for those vitally desperate expedients by trade needed foods and raw materials, restrictions. Since they cannot we should have a very different Bell, they cannot buy, and they picture."

I think the answer must be:

use to anybody.