1938-02-12 — Page 11

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1988.

SATURDAY PAGE

Say 38

before

you

lose

your

temper

by JAMES

DOUGLAS

I

S there any way of mastering time so that 1938 will end

in

triumph instead of defeat? Can we make the most of each day?

Can we manage our lives Bo that we may be able to say on January 1, 1939, we have kept half our good resolutions? Can we reduce the wastage of our hopes?

Is there any method of turning our annual sense of fallure into an annual sense of success? Some of us will die this year. If we knew the date of our denth we should be acutely time-conscious. We should try hard to use the morsel of time left to us.

Therefore we must invent a way of being ime-conscious all the time, and not merely now and then.

I

HAVE Invented a new way

of being time-conscious.

It is so simple that any of us can try it, the oldest as well as the youngest. I am trying it on, myself, and if I am lucky enough to be alive at the end of 1938 I promise to re- port the result with ruthless can- dour.

In the first place, I will take time by the minute hand each day and live as if it were my last day. How can I work this miracle?

By saying to myself these two words, "thirty-eight," when I catch myself in the act of failure. A day of defeat will be honestly recorded in my diary.

I assume that an almost perfect day is well within my power. I know my own horrible defects as

The blacksmith

at Gretna Green has

a rival ..

"Hang on, Idds! Daddy is going to step it up to 85, now."

Just Invented-

M

ORE than 35,000 applications for patents in Britain-are-made-by-inventors every year. Last year there was a 50 per cent. increase over the previous year in inventions dealing with warfare.

been

well as anybody can know anything.

During the last few weeks (. A slip-on sole and heel, lo save I conceal them from myself, but by saying "thirty-eight" I can strip patents have

obtained boot and shoe repairers' bills.

A cleaner for upholstery which, myself and stand naked before my for:-

Instead of cleaning with soapy water, own conscience.

A jug with a tube beneath its 0$ In the past, uses the soapsuds Tongue-control is hard, but if you lip. After pouring, the last drops only not the water, so saving wet- say "thirty-eight" before you speak of liquid run down the tube anding of the material. foolishly or cruelly or unkindly you back into the Jug-instead of down An absorbent pad for attaching will soon tame your tongue. One the side of the jug and on to the to the forearms of athletes, so they day of tongue-control is a victory. tablecloth.

can easily wipe their foreheads when Temper-control can also be thirty- A new process for making collars they are hot." eighted. No thirty-eighter should stiff when they are laundered.

A non-clogging suit cellar, fitted

a valve, lose his temper.

An apparatus. to Alter the air in with a

so that the salt re- an air-raid refuge.

mains dry. HATE is hard to slay, but Transparent seals for milkbottles. A sweet-making machine to pro-

A It can be slain If you say new method of keeping up duce spherical or conical lollipops.

It breeds its trousers-with a belt inside them "thirty-eight" before

A Rolf-club bag. Bitted with vipers in your mind. Hate nobody! Instead of outside.

separate covered compartments, to Start the business of hate slaying

of milk-protect the heads of golf clubs when A ld to fit all kinds jugs-and protect the milk from in the bag.

A device, something like an in- germs.

Η

with those you love. Don't hate your own folk. "To be wroth with those we love doth work like mad- ness in the brain."

Before you hate an enemy reflect that your hate hurts you more than its object. It is your thought that creates hatred. No enemy is ha black as your hate.

RETNA has a second "priest" and an old monopoly

has vanished.

A local rival has set up busi- ness in opposition to the gentle- man who has for a number of years acted the role of the obliging blacksmith.

It is odd that competition has been so long withhold.

But the money in it has not been considerable, even with an average of 280 marriages a year. A tee of £20 once paid in recent times was

a solitary exception. The profits have been brought in by the sale of souvenirs to tourists.

No legal reason exists why there should not be a dozen smithies in Gretna all open for wedding cere- monies, with a "blacksmith" in each of them.

Equally might the girl behind the counter of the local sweet shop an- nounce that she was prepared to net as priestess and provide a handsome certificate as evidence of the cere mony.

Gretna Green

seems 10 be for some people what striped trousers and the hats are for others. Why so many should find a smithy more romantic than sheriff's private office is a problem in psychology.

The proceedings In a Scots "Irre- gulur" marriage call for a warrant authorising the registration.

Properly regarded, a sheriff should be just glamorous

0.3

as a black- smith.

.

THAT the cecemony ot

Gretna ties the knot there need be no doubt. Plenty of litigants have found that out, even some who protested that they were under the influence of drink when they made their vows.

A few lucky ones have been able to convince Scottish judges that they were only having a lark. But a judge of the Court of Session takes a lot of persuasion to share in jokes other than those he makes him- self.

Yes, a Gretna wedding is binding as a "consensual" Scottish marriage so long as the qualifications us to residence in Scotland have been re- garded.

been

One or other, or both, of the parties must have

resident in the country for twenty-one con- marriage. Or else one or other of secutive days immediately before the

the parties must have had his or her usual residence in Scotland.

This latter provision is particular. ly to suit the case of a sallor or soldier who may be making a brief return to his own land,

LASGOW does about ten U times the business In irregular marringe that is done in Gretna. There were forty-eight such marriages on New Year's Eve and there were 2,419 in the year.

The colloquial term general in Scotland is an error. These people were not "married before the sheriff." Nor were they married by the regis- tror.

married law they By Scottish Comic face-masks, with modelled (verted gold-fish bowl, which la lled themselves--by the interchange of and plastic appearance-yet which, with water and so becomes a flower- consent before they went before the pack at when not in use.

exhibiting bowl. When flowers are sheriff. placed in it they look bigger than they are.

A windscreen without supporting pillars-so that the driver may have an uninterrupted view.

A pair of electrically driven shears, An improvement on the present to cut hedges easily, coloured-paper-on-string method of A pillow, fitted with spiral springs, scaring birds-by the use of metal with a hole in the middle so that VOU can cure yourself of foll instead, which cracks, will not sleepers can lie face downwards in Yot our faults by saying deteriorate, and shines in the sun-bed, their head over the hole, and

breathe comfortably. "thirty-eight" before you are beaten light. by them. Do not say it aloud: say it in your mind,

If you smoke loo much, rallon your amokes. If you are tempted

to break your own tobacco laws, say

"thirty-eight" and you will win.

If you drink too much, teach yourself to be temperate by saying

is thirty-eight." There

Bnd habit which cannot be overcome by this self made vow.

ΤΟ

Selfishness. Is curable. If you are on the verge of being selfish "thirty-eight" Selfishness La

say

aul-

cldo

Here is a good mnemonie:-

At my back I always hear Tima's winged charlot hurrying.

nuar.

Say it after you say "thirty-eight.”;

You may think that thirty-eighting is a silly game. You may regard it as a bore. But there is more fun In it than you imagine, for it makes every day axciting:

Who fears to speak of "thirty- eight"? Only those who have given themselves up as a bad job. If you try the game of thirty-eighting you will be scoring heavily £ you win Afty-one per cent. of your salma. Victory ta' seldom more than that." "It gives you control.

SOLUTIONS

Weck-End Problems

PROBLEM 1,

ETCHINGS

Blatherskite bought 39 etchings -15 at 10s, each and 24 at 255. each.

PROBLEM II. INTRUDERS

(1) Parolles has intruded from

All's Well That Ends Well into The Winter's Tale.

(2) Goneril, from King Lear,

into Cymbeline,

(3) Adrie Two Gentlemen of from The Tempest into The Verona,

(4) Balthasar, from Romeo and

Juliet, Into Itamlet.

(5) Cinno, from Julius Caesar, into Autony and Cleopatra.

Match Problem

Our office mathematiclan de- ciares that the farmer must pay 2,147,483,037 matches-which, at a penny a box of 50, would cost- well, perhaps you would like to work” this one out," toot

Minute Mystory

Fallacy is that the fact that the clock pointed to one o'clock does not necessarily indicate the time of the murder. The clock might have stopped before 11' was shot, or the murderer might have set It after shooting it,

So Collina could luve shot Smith between nine and mid- night, during which time he had no alibi.

on

Doad Sir Hezekiah

These were the two mistakes: (1) There were no fingerprints the fountainpen. Yet what prospective suleide would leave Ingerprints on his revolver, but take the trouble to remove them from his pen?

(2) Oliphant "put his pen down hurriedly:" And-not stopping to think-put it down on the right- hand side of the deak. Yet ho was supposed to have been writ- --Ing:with-the-Jeft-hand,

That is why the Gretna glamour is absurd.

For, legally speaking, Greina gives no more authenticity to a wedding than Ecclefechan or Auchtermuthly, The top of Ben Nevis would be just us legal.

In days when cloping princes and countesses had none of the facilities of the

the register office Greins served a purpose.

Such fanciful recollections of the past are not to be despised. Its values having changed, the Ministry of Transport might collaborate with a few road signs indicating to tem- pestuous motorlats and bus passen- Marriage of Hosty 'Danger Ahead."

д

Kera

ARE YOU SURE 7 1.-A lutan

-Insects. 3.-Naples.

4-300 square milea

5-Jane (Lady Jane Grey).

-Blue and White.

Maestro-maentri.

RA dialect.

D-Resistence-should be resistance.

10-Discan of the eye..

11-Introduce the man to the women. 12-1940

13-Off the coast of S. America. 14.A great fil

15-1941.

10-Lisbon

17-Malacca trait.

18-Major-General.

10-levan.

20-New Guinen. 21.-Four

23-Last Tuesday 231921

86-Niekol.

We-thesaand.

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH

Dear Kiddles,

WEEK-END SECTION.

Girls' and Boys' Corner

Lols of very gally painted entries arrived this week. You chose many differ- ent designs and colours-some unusually prolly. In the Senior section, the prize is being awarded to William Orwalito Sousao (aged 11), of 20 Johnston Road, Arst floor. Willlum chose a very complicated design and a pleasing colour scheme.

Another boy, Ricardo da Lus (aged 9), of 04, Macdonnel Road, Hong- kong, wins the Junior prize. Your entry was ex~ ceptionally neat, Ricardo, and I enn 500 that you have taken lots of time over 1.

Will William and Ricordo call at the “Hong Kong Telegraph offices I or their prizes?

Merit Cerli- ficates are be- Ing sent to Amy Tong, Ilo Man-chan, Young Kit- wa, Karima J. Khan, PCEY Barton, Man

uela de Iz (Seniors), Jacqueline Xavier, Heinzi Bonholt and

ors).

Cut- (Juni-

Address

Namo

Specially commended

work are the following:

Seniors:

for

This is all my own work

Age

Mr.

Harper, Silmy Albers, Patriela

Conny good Coombs,

Bonhof, Peter Coombs, W. Londolt, Constance Ro- Yvonne Ho, Frank Hor- kerison, Teresa Souza, Pat Clarke, lock, Ada Foster, C. E. Clark, Rosa- Roy King, Ann Thompson and P. lind Cheng, Yseult Cooper, Wong Osmund. Chiu-yung, Jane Strelleit, Pameln Li,

Daniel Choy: Many thanks for

Iu Po-chiu, Ho Shuk-chun, Amy Choy, Suen Mo-tak, Mabel Churn, your jokes. I am printing one and Edith Tan, A, Souza, Fern Ellis, sending you a Merit Certificate. Thelma Pinno, D. Andrews, Mäggle Suen Mo-tak: Thanks for your Cheng.

Dora Eva Grady, Tiu, Yvonne letter. You must try hard for your

Nergaard, Maggie last certificate. Blackmore, J. Alves und Joyce Leong.

Juniors: Binile Niache (is that the

Ada Foster: Was pleased to re- ceive your letter. I am glad to hear that you now have lots of stamps. Don't give up now though, but keep on collecting as many as you can.

Antonio Sousa: Your Mexican hat man was very clever and unusual, I am sending you a Merit Certificate for your efforts.

Slimy Albers: Unfortunately, lack of space forbids my publishing your poem to-day. Is it original?

Ysculi Cooper: Thank you for your story "Magle Feather." When I have more space I will publish it.

Theresa Souza; I cannot publiali "The Brookt." I prefer to have original poems, and stories.

Scissors, paste or gum, a postcard and a little patience are needed to enter for this week's competition. All you have to do is to cut out large picture here into three pleses and rearrange it in proper form, Start by cutting out the complete Illustration round the outside line then cut in at the dotted line and round the first inside circle. Finally cut through the other dotted line and round the inner circle.

The three sections have now to be turned round till they make the ple- tare as shown in the small drawing. Stick the completed picture to a postcard, All in the coupon with your name, address and age and send to Uncle Eddie, c/o "Hongkong Tele- graph," Wyndham Street. The com- petition closes at 4 p.m. on Wednes- day. Two prizes will again be given,

Uncle Eddie

Limerick

By Alister Andrews,

There was a young man named

Poole

Who was always playing the

fool

One day in a hurry, he slipped

In some curry

And that was the end of poor -. Poole.

Joko

-By Danlet Choy. Motorist (who had accidently run fat lady's cat): I'm awfully

over Alister Andrews; I think your

animal.

correct spelling of your name?), limerick (published to-day) lo really sorry, madam, but I will replace the Tootsie Garcia, Iu Pa-yat, S. A. Bux, very funny. I am sending you a S. S. Bux, Alister Andrews, Robert Merit Certificate.

Tomorrow "Will be a big day, “Mr. Dillon-besting- your new retractable indencamoge design- we are all looking for results. This company's Just got to produce the fastest planes

NEXT DAY — THI TEST

AT THE DOCTORS

Lody: But can you catch mice?

FASTER

PLANES

HOME

Testing tomonow, dear, and I'm not too hopeful of

results. Iva not boon working wall recently, "I've been so tired!

not and so every night :

Exactly. Me Dilton.

it's this waking tirad· that's holding you back

at your job. You rea, you bum up energy even while you sleep-it takes 20,000 muscular efforts alone to breathe. If you're not replacing "usad-up energy, of course you

wake Gired-that's Night Starvation.

I suggest Horlicks..

AMAZING, DILTON!... 20 MILES AH HOUR INCREASE IN SPEEDÍ..

A CONTRIBUTION TO

AL SCIENCE, SIR/

Chief Engineer. Dilton, head of the research department of a large auto- plane factory, was the mont valued man in the firm. But one day things began to go wrong

Don't worry, Tom, ~I'm-zure-it-

will be at

right!

The humiliation of it..... can't think what went wrong... I've gone all to pieces lately. Oh, this 'tiredness, l'even rake

up feeling tired!

Promise mo, Tom,

you'll go

and sec a doctor about it

| 8.WEEKS LATER

I hope to goodness Dilton has dona « a good job with this new

design

DOES YOUR HUSBAND WAKE TIRED?

WAKING TIRED reduces a man's efft ciency at work and play he can't con- centrate properly, he can't do his best work he's unfairly handicapped.

I'm pretty confident.

He seems

to have got

into his stride again

lately

If your husband wakes tired, see to it that he gets Horlicks, a cupful regularly at bedtime. Horlicks replaces energy as it is being used up during sleep. He'll wake refreshed, he'll feel and look alert and alive.

HORLICKS