1938-02-02 — Page 18

6

THE HONGKONG Telegraph, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1938.

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FEBRUARY

FEBRUARY

FEBRUARY

· FEBRUARY

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FEBRUARY

for my

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FEBRUARY

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The

Hongkong Telegraph.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1938.

THIS LOOKS LIKE PIRACY

Why should February clouds and mista be allowed to lower our spirits?

calendar and serfs of the seasons?

Nearly everybody I meet is glum because we n$50- and lugubrious, clate February days with lengthien- over- cannot we ing faces. Why

and hoodoos of the humps February?

Is a month, After all, February and not a mood. If we choose we can make it as merry as May. We can rebel against the lying conven- on which turns the galely of February Into gloom.

come

We name

I good can give February instead of a bad name. The truth is that no month deserves to be given up as a bad job, and the human heart can rejoice as genially Jovially in February as in

and as Jo June or July.

I do not say that February is the best month of the year, but it is cer- tainly not the worst, and we might male it better if we made the best

of it.

THE poets have not done it much as, they might have month, but unfortunately they can done for this grossly misrepresented and no cheerful rhymes for its bad- ly-chosen name.

An Insurgent submarine has struck another blow at Britain. Blows come from all quarters, these days. Some of them in the form of torpedoes, some as bombs or shells, others nothing more than verbal shafts which do little or no damage. But all are aggravations. adding their The only word that seems to match more or less evil influence to the sou ought to emulate the hilarity syllable is bury, and bury has a sad

state of the world's affairs.

that fine old parson the Rev; of Thomas Constable, who shouted at This latest affront was de- the top of his mellow old volce-

Hail, ald October, bright and finitely # foul blow. The steamer Endymion carried no more dangerous cargo than coal. She had on board an observer

of the Non-Intervention Com- mittee's organisation which con- trols the traffic into Spain and sees to it that no munitions felt of sunshine.

chill, First freedman from the summer

sun!

Spice high the bowl and drink

your All!

Thank heaven, at lost the gum-

-mer's done. ----

IF we were sentenced should be miserable, and we could not help

petual summer we should

October સંત

longing for deliverance from a sur-

The sun-saturated and sun-sated reach that country in ships exile longs for the loveliness of be in England now which carry the flags of nations October's there" the weary Empire

bullder cries as

as he sees a vision of conforming to the non-interven- our October woods in all their glory,

with a

a pageantry of golden hues that tion regulations. Such ships surpase the splendours of spring.

I can never forgive Tom Hood for mallgning the magnificence November:-

No warmth, no cheerfulness,

healthful ease-

of

no

No comfortable feel in any mem-

ber-

No shade, no shine, no butterflies,

no bees,

No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no

birds, No-vember.

fly not only the dag of their registry but also the Inter- national flag which denotes that! they carry a neutral observer who guarantees that the cargo is not the sort coming under emburgo. The guarantee is backed by the International Control Committee. The only excuse of an attacker is the suspicion that the ship might shuddering are over. It is not law- have been flying the Inter-

1 am Impenitent Octobrist and Novembrist, for these wickedly libel- and packed with delight. led months are crammed with beauty

They are the warmest months of the year, for they restore to us the comforts of the earth and the fire- side.

of shivering and

The sorrows

national, flag and the Red En-Fierce fighters 48 they un- sign as a means of breaking the doubtedly are, cruel as they may

A. S. WATSON & CO., LTD. Insurgent blockade of Govern- have been in this civil war.

COPIES OF

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their whole history shows them to be chivalrous by instinet.

ment ports, and that she was not entitled to show these

Perhaps there is some good emblems of innocence. But the

explanation for the tragedy of onus of proof in a case of that the Endymion, and the eleven sort is surely with the attacker. who perished with her, includ In this case the submarine con- ing the wife of her master. K cerned fired the torpedo which is certain that the British sent the Endymion to the bot-Government will not act in tom in four minutes without reprisal or in any fashion until even trying to ascertain the the authorities concerned have nature of the ship's freight.] had time to make their explana- That sort of warfare is as tion-or excuses.

cowardly as it is criminal, even The only immediate effect of when the victimised ship is the the sinking of the Endymion, it property of one of the bel- appears, will be the recurrence ligeronts.. When it is a neutral of that now familiar condition: craft the offence is nothing" "Increased tension in the Medi- short of piracy,

terranean." It would be a wise Such an action does not seem man who could predict the to fit the Spanish character. breaking point.

by

FEBRUARY

JAMES DOUGLAS

FEBRUARY

FEBRUARY

1

February is the month for think- ing hard about the poor who have no money for blankels, roaring fires and warm garments. We ought to give away our old overcoata before the winter sets in.

There are enough warm clothes in our wardrobes to keep all poor wo- imen and all poor men as warm as a toust.

As for the children of the poor. I wish there were a clearing-house for all the warm clothing which is stowed away and never used at all.

What we all need is a good Febru- ary conscience that would stir us into a clearing out of all the eup- boards that are inhabited by moth- balls.

THE mothball mind in the систу of the poor. K hoards comforts which would make thousands comfortable.

The social sin of withholding warm clothes, which we never wear is far too prevalent. It is the mean- est form of dog-in-the-mangerism.

If you see a poor man shivering In the street, think of the old clothes that you have forgotten, and make him happy by giving him what you will never miss.

good plan when you take

I walk to carry an old overcoat on your arm and to give it to the first down-and-out you meet.

IONLנן

Or make a bundle of old shirts nad vests and socks and astonish the first poor man you see by begging him to accept them.

Women art the

callous hoarders of old clothes. Do not wait till you die with a stock of garments These things are now period pieces, that ought to have been on some E feel deliriously guilty as reiles of the romantic past, like the poor back yours to.

ful to enjoy a blazing fire in the open candlestick or candie-snuffers or a grate until October raises the im- worming pan. bargo on coal and logs.

We feel ad spinning when

the

If we could make an inventory of

commit the awful crime of gloating the Ingle and the ingle-nook. all the unworn clothes in all the houses of the comfortable classes it over the flames which make our cold

13 FEBRUARY feet glow as we put them on the

cosy would shock the national conscience. fender and taste the deep comfort of

month, the month of furs Let each owner of surplus raiment the old armchair,

and fires, the month of mufflers and make an inventory every January and shower it on the shivering. What overcoats, the month of moth-balls. I know that few of us possess. u There ought to be a Muse of the a grand orgy of disgorging it would fender, and that we must console our Muffler, but I have never come across bel

The hoarding of old clothes is selves with the electric fire, the gas an ode or a sonnet or a lyric to a

be called caused by forgetfulness. I wish fire, and the radiator, those mocking munter. They used to

February could be made the remem- substitutes for the leaping which waste their riot of heat on the

flames comforters.

There is a sense of sweet din as we turn it on before it is due and revel in the thought that we could do with

"THEY'VE

cold flue of the extravagant chimney. I know that they are unhygienic, bering month for giving away every-

But even central heating is a bless but I dote on them, for they go out thing that we can de without. ed luxury that warms the cockles of too soon and come in too late,

If I had my way I would wear a THE “VERY IDEA" the ley heart.

comforter all the year round. There is nothing so companionable as an old mufiler which has done good ser- out it.

vlee in all weathers and all climates. We get an illett kick out of being Mine Roes to the cleaner wastefully warm in October, for we a year know that it does not cost us more nutumn. It is a portion and parcel to be warm than to be cold. That of my cosy past, with gales and snow is the fun of living in a flat, for the and sleet in ever

every crease. warmth is there whether we turn it off or turn it on.

our

once

and rene

renews its life every GOT ME,

PAL", SAID VERITAS

I ago.

was CUPID'S ARROW UNERRINGLY

FOUND ITS MARK

MANY years

donated a fur coat, and I

It reminds me that man is not n tree which loses its leaves and goes naked all winter. Why should we

own coal in a centrally heated

BUT the pure joy of waste is be disheartened by the spectacle of

captured when we burn falling leaves?

flat. We may not need the fire in the open grate, but it cheers us to

really do not understand why il ee waste as well as feel it.

We are sorry for the flat-dwellers should be regarded as a dangerous who do not possess even one grate garment.

coal. Their eyes are burning desolate. They are robbed

ot the for 1 know that if I get out of it N view of the wedding furnished by the ancient I run the risk of catching cold. As last Saturday of our old pleasure coal-scuttle and the longs and the if cold-catching could be avoided by pal "Veritas," we poker and the hearthrug.

for

But I tremble when I get into it,

any system of clothing!

By Eddie "Bluebeard" Kelly

think.

I like the brazen furniture of the The less we think of colds the Love should be our theme old-fashioned hearth. I love the safer we are. There is no scason clung of the brass fire-irons as they for colds, for there are summer colds to-day.

fall off the brass dogs, for the dogs as well as nutumn colds, winter How romantic it themes.

We have made a very close are brothers of the logs.

colds, and spring colds. Alas! the dogs and their logs are It is a delusion to regard autumn dying cut. There are children to as the season of sniffs and bronchial study of marriage and we find__ day who have never seen a fire-log frightfulness. It is the healthiest that all that is necessary or a fire-dog or even a candle or a time of the year.

Sharpen your

your wits

Each of the following statements contains something absurd, and after each there are four attempts at saying that is foolish in it. Read these attempts and underline the one which you consider best. In the answer you will find the number of the best attempt. Your decision must be made within the time allowed for each grade, EAXMPLE:-

"Every cloud hos a silver lining."

This is foolish beenuse: (a) The cloud may have no lining; (b) Silver is a metal; (c) The lining may be pink; (d) 1 may have a silver edge but no lining.

The best answer to underline is the first,

1

"Every dog has his day."

This is foolish becouse; (9) Every other being has

his day; (b) Every dog has many days and all are his; (e) The dog does not understand what his day is; (d) His day means hlo opportunity, and he may not have one.

2

In a cement-floored corridor, on either side of which are sound-film studios, is written in large letters the word "Silence!" Foolish because:-

(a) The doors leading to the studios could be sound-proof; (b) The lm actors have to speak; (e) Footsteps on a concrete floor are bound to make a noise, (d) In case of fire it would be necessary to give an alarm.

Time allowed for lests (1) and (2): two minutes.

3

"I am not boasting," said a young man, "for I never tell any one how clever I am."

Foolish becnuse: (a) He is boastful.

(b) He thinks he is clever and is noi, (c) He can be clever without being boast- It is bad taste to speak about one's clovernors.

ful.

(c)

4

"The

In a lecture on public speaking the lecturer said: best way of driving your unanswerable arguments home Is to bombard your audience with a quick-ßre of short pithy sentences, composed of very short but telling words"

Foolish because: (a) The argument may require detailed ex- (c) planation. (b) This lecturer did not follow his own advice.

(d) Short words are Long sentences are as good as short ones. not impressive.

Time allowed for test (3) and (4); two minutes.

The French democracy.

5

Revolution

marked, the

beginning

of

Foolish because: (a) It marked the beginning of a reign of terror. (b) A few years later Napoleon became Emperor. (c) Other democracies existed before. (d) Killing aristocrats is not democracy.

Time allowed for test (5); two minutes,

6

State the reason why the following statements

absurd.

are

(1) If a man begins by thinking he is as good.. as he is wise, he will end by thinking that he is ns wise as he is good.

(2) A gentleman is a man who never does the wrong thing unintentionally.

(3) National efficiency is like an epidmic. It grows us it'

extends.

(4) One man with unconquerable determination at his side constitutes a majority.

Time allowed for test (0): four minutes. Answers In Columin Seven,

to

make a wife happy is tact on the part of the husband.

Husbands are the cause of all the strife in the house. The trouble is that they will answer back.

Then there are sulky worms who won't answer back.

who Worse still are the ones moon about the house, getting in the way and pleking things up and putting them down again.

And if you ask them why they don't go out for a walk some- where, what do the selfish brutes do but go out and leave you all by yourself.

Before we got married we were a sentimental sort of a cove. We used to carry around a pink, heart- shaped conversation lollio with. "Meet Me To-Night" on it. We had that lollie for years and years..

HALITOSIS?

It was a breath of romance to us, Of course, we had to get rid of it when we got married, in order to save any unpleasantness. (we didn't get married to save any unpleasant- We ness; don't misunderstand us). remember, the tears coursed down our checks as we sat there, eating it.

At the same time, we burnt all our photographs, and letters, and garters. and Tacits of hair and other souvenirs, and passers-by, seeing the huge cloud of smoke coming from the chimney, sald: "Ah, Kelly's getting married. I wonder who the lucky, fortunate girl 15?"

Don't take us too seriously, giris. We're free on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays,

Baturdays and Sunday M

And though we don't go much on the other sex as a rulo, we're wilk- Ing to consider your propositions. Or, better still, your impropositions, Aisle be seeing you!

Solution

Here are the answers to the Intelligence testa in Column Five and Six.

(1) d: (2) e: (3) ¤; (4) 0: (5) C

(0) 1. He does think so from the beginning, both being the same. 2 It means that a gentleman sometifies does the wrong thing intentionally. 3. To grow is the same as to extend. 4. One MBIT cannot majority,

bo