1937-01-06 — Page 6

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPII, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 0, 1987.

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Why

Women

BRIGHT-EYED woman, whose sparkle was rather more of eagerness than of intelligence, approached mé át a party one afternoon and said, "why do you hate women, Mr. Thurber?"

I quickly adjusted my fixed grin and denied that I hated women: I said I did not hate women at all.

I

HATE

Not a

very serious within article, but

the bounds of human experience

-by

JAMES

THURBER famous American humorist: but he says this goes for all other countries too

The wife does not look. She' says with quiet coldness. What is that you have in your hand?"

What he has in his hand. turns out to be an insurance policy and an old bankbook- and the anapshots.

ANOTHER reason 1

hate women is that in almost every cand where there is a sign reading "Please have exact, change ready," a woman never has anything smaller than a pound note,

She gives pound notes to bus conductors and other persons who deal in pennies and six-

pences.

UTI-

of all her smiles) and reiterates Recently, in Bermuda, I saw that the snapshots are in the a woman hand the conductor upper right-hand drawer of the on the little railway there a desk. He simply didn't look, note of such huge denomina- that's all.

tion that I was utterly familiar with it. I was sitting knows too far away

to see exactly that he looked; he what it was, but had the knows that he prodded and dug feeling that it was a hundred · and excavated in that drawer pound note.

husband

But the question remained with me, and I discovered when I went to bed that night that I had been subconsciously list- ing a number of reasons why I do hate women. It might be

and, that the snapshots simply The conductor merely ignored are not there. The wife tells it and stood there waiting-the interesting at least, it will help pass the, time-to set down

him to go look again, and he fare was just one shining. these reasons, just as they she reserves for spoiled children will find them. The husband Eventually, scrabbling around

of up out

my sub or Stubbs Road came

the one she reserves for goes back and looks again-the in her handbag, the woman consciousness.

drunken workmen, and tells him guests can hear him growling found a shilling.

The episode. gives men the Then he shouts out from the feeling that some

HONGKONG HOTEL GARAGE

Tel. 27778-9

DEATII.

POTTS-George Hutton Potts, aged '72, at Swatow, on Monday, 4th January, 1937. The funeral will take place at the Colonial Cemetery, Hongkong, on Wed- nesday, 6th January, 1837, pass- the Monument at 5.15 p.m.

Whe

Hongkong Telegraph.

they are.

·A

monstrous

IN the first place, I hate he knows perfectly well where and cursing and rattling papers.

women because they.

It turns out, after- a lot of next room, "They are not in this triviality is threatening the always know where things are give and take, the slightly bitter drawer, just as I told you, whole structure of civilisation. It is difficult to analyse this At first blush you might think edge of which is covered by Ruth!" that a perverse, and merely forced laughs, that the snap-

The wife quietly excuses her feeling, but there it is. churlish reason for hating wo shots are in the upper right- self and leaves the guests and

NOTHER spectacle men, but it is not,

hand drawer of a certain desk, "goes into the room where her

that depresses the Naturally, every man enjoys and the husband goes out of the husband stands, hot, miserable, having a woman around the room to get them. He comes and defiant-and with a certain male and makes him fear wo- house who knows, where his back in three minutes with the nameless fear in his heart. He men, and therefore hate them, shirt studs and his brief case news that the snapshots are not has pulled the desk drawer cut is that of a woman looking an- are, and things like that, but in the upper right-hand drawer so far that it is about to fall on other woman up and down, to he detests having a woman of the certain desk.

the floor, and he points at the soc what she is wearing. around who knows where every- Without stirring from her disarray of the drawer with thing is, even things that are chair, the wife favours her bitter triumph (still mixed with of no importance at all, such as, husband with a faint smile that nameles fear). "Look for say, the snapshots her husband (the one that annoys him most yourself!" he snarls. took three years ago at Brigh-. ton. She could put her fingers) Hongkong education in gen-on them in a moment, with eral, and the University in that quiet air of superior know- particular, will be the losers by ledge which makes a man feel the impending retirement of that he is out of touch with all

the things that count in life. Sir William Hornell, who for a period of twelve years has directed the destinies of the

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 0, 1937.

OUR UNIVERSITY

A man's interest' in old snap- of himself in action with a gun, shots, unless they are anapshots |

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and

The cold, flat look that comes into a woman's eyes when she does this, the swift coarsening of her countenance, and the immediate evaporation from it. of all humane quality make the male shudder. He is likely to go to his stateroom or his den or his private office lock himself in for hours.

man I know one

who sur- prised that look In his wife's eyes and never afterward would let her come near him. If she started toward him, he would dodge behind a table or a sofa, as if he were engaging in some And he unholy game of tag. That look, I believe, is one But the Emperor men disappear, and turn up in was looking at him Tahiti or the Arctic or

EMPEROR AND GLADIATOR

by

Felix Salten

to-

sword.

became

never gladiator." gmiled.

menacingly.

a

white Navy.

L

reason.

the

(TO quit hiding be- hind the generalisa-

ing. Socially, also, the Vice-languishes in about two hours. Chancellor will be greatly miss-A woman's interest in old snap-ONE doy Pactus,

the head of all* ed by reason of his geniality of shots, particularly of groups of the gladiators, said disposition and his charming people, never languishes; it is to young Bassianus: always there, as the years roll "Listen! To-morrow personality. During his asso-

on, as strong and vivid as it the Emperor will

"What clation with the University, Sir was right at the start.

fence with thee!"

Bassianus thereupon inquired: chest he has," thought Bassinnus, "end William-has-seen it--grow-in-

Am I to-go-to the palace, or will the such soft shoulders and weak anna?" She remembers the snapshots Emperor come to us in the school?" strength and in influence, de- when people come to call, and

And he smiled. The signal was given by a blast of tion of "the male") hate women spite untoward factors which just as the husband, having repiled Poetus. "Commodus

"Nelther the one nor the other,"

will lubas,

because they almost never get have greatly added to his cares mixed drinks for everybody, sits appear in the arena to-morrow as

Commodus sprang forward and made some hasty thrusts of the anything exactly right. and anxieties. In latter years | down to sip his own, she will a swordsman like thyself."

They say, "I have been faith- "Like myself?". particularly.. the University's say. "George, I wish you would

Bassiaus stood his ground without ful to thee, Cynara, after my "Why yes....or like Emilius, or even raising his weapon, and the fashion," instead of "in my financial problems have weighed go and get those snapshots we

The Emperor will be blows glanced off his shield.

fashion." took at Brighton and show Marcus, ... Never adequately them to the Murphys." heavily.

exactly like a real swordsman

The Emperor sprang to one side They will tell you to take the endowed, and always struggling |

morrow, and will show off his art and tried to attack Bassianus in the

flank. The young gladiator turned 2.57 train, on a day that the against odds, the University's

before the entire public."

Bassianus laughed.

almost imperceptibly, and wherever 2.57 does not run, or, if it does difficulties have been accentuat

remarked Paetus.

"It's very foolish of thee to laugh," Bassianus's shield with

Commodus's sword quivered, it struck run, does not stop at the station

д metallic ed latterly by the effects of the

sound: Then Commodus ked where you are supposed to get:

attacked "Oh, I'm not afraid!" replied the hlm. Bassianus thrust out his sword off. decline in the sterling value of

young gladiator, and his dark eyes and the Emperor's blade slid past it. Many men, separated from a the dollar. In the circumstance,

shone with excitement.

"He has learnt this method of at-woman by this particular form it is remarkable that develop-

"Thou are not afraid, because thou tack from Pretus" thought Bassianus of imprecision, have never snow--

to himself. Hé advanced; a few ment has progressed so well as she wants to see the pictures;| Bassianus reflected for a while, steps, topped with the point of his ed up in her life again. Nothing

sword it has. This is duc in large she is crazy to see the pictures; then he brightened up again.

on the Emperor's golden so embitters a man as to end measure to Sir William's untir- for one thing, the wife, who has! "If I deal him my Traclan double-shield, passed over it and, in a Bash up in Brighton when he was: ing labours and administrative brought the subject up, wants cut the Emperor's sword will fly on touched Caesar's body quite lightly, supposed to get off at Haywards.

to the sand. Nobody knows the almost caressingly, in four places

with his sword, on the neck, under Heath. abilities, to say nothing of his Mrs. Murphy to see the photo Thracian double-cut but myself..... talent as an educationist. The of a certain costume that the I learnt it froin old Narcissus....the knee. Commodus felt the cold throw cricket balls (or plates or

wife wore at Brighton in 1933. opponent has ever counterfenced University, even under the best of conditions, has peculiar pro-

THE husband finally blems of its own. ·

As the Vice-

puts down his drink Chancellor has stated, it is an and anarls, "Well, where are

they, then?" isolated institution, and even

The husband doesn't know knows is that Harry Murphy where the snapshots are; all hej

docsn't want to see them; Harry Murphy wants to talk just as he himself wants to talk.

But Grace Murphy says that art foolish."

T

though its degrees are recogn→ The wife, depending on her ised at Home it lacks definite mood, gives him either the look contact with the big centres of

*

*

no the shoulder, on the chest and at I hate women because they steel on his bare skin and was afraid.vases) with the wrong foot ad- vanced I marvel that more of them have not broken their From this moment the Emperor backs. left off glaring at his opponent; his

I marvel that women, who furious expression gave place to a smile. He began to implore him with co-ordinate so well with langu- orous motion, look uglier and Suddenly Bassianus remembered gillier than 2 goose-stopper the man in disguise.

when they attempt any form of violent activity. Ama

"It's not a question of thy Thracian Bassianus smiled kindly at him. double-cut. The Emperor intends to overcome thee, none having, as yet, been able to stand up against thee;

"Well, lot bin come,"

cried

Bassianus. His sword will fly into the sand.....”

Pactus grow angry. "Foolish 'ass! Remember, it is the Emperori".

"Certainly....and I will not harm him.....but his sword will roll in the sund....thou canst take my word for

"

answered Factus scornfully.

„Bozlanus laughed no more.

潮

*

**

his cycs,

"What if I thrust my sword through this boy's chest!" thought he.

But the Emperor looked at him beseechingly.

art. They might

British education. There aro problems also connected with tion. More money is needed,

HAD a lot of other but, thus far, as H. E. the

I notes jotted down the human material which it Governor stated at Monday's "In that case, the Emperor will "One moment, Caesar...."Baasi- handies; these make the task of Congregation, no

It seems about why. I hate women, but I Hongkong have thee crucified an hour later.... anus whispered hurriedly.

by this the staff more than usually diffi- "Lord Nuffleld" has yet appear thou canst take my word for "ed to him disgraceful and ridiculous seem to have lost them all, ex-

to let himself be worsted

cept, one. cult. But the idea on which the ed on the sceno. Lord Lugard,

Boundering fellow,

That one is to the effect that "He will reward me," he thought, University was founded-the who has always taken the keen-:

and looked into the Emperor's dis- I hate women because, while desirability of educating Chinese est interest in the University,

On the following day, as he passed heartened and entreating eyes. He they never lose old snapshots or students in their own environ Boxer Indemnity Fund which to the arena, a man in disguise

thinks that that portion of the through the narrow passage leading will very greatly reward me!"

Once again he hesitated, not want anything of that sort, they in- ment rather than in totally for- has been entrusted to the Uni- stepped up to him and whispered in Ing to be too ignominiously defeated variably lose one glove. I be eign surroundings-was a sound veraities China Committee his ear: "Kill the Emperor, and in the presence of the pe one. It has proved its worth,might be better expended in thou shalt receive two hundred so often admired his tople who had lieve that I have never gone but its efficacy has been lessened endowing a chair in the Hong-go where thou wouldst!""

thousand sesterees and freedom to turn down their thumbs. If they anywhere with any woman in thought him too great a bangler my whole life who did not lose. by reason of cramping influences kong University, in addition to

The young fencer The Emperor almost fell over back one glove. which have dogged the institu- grants for post-graduate study groped in deer was startled; he Ward HF Bassianus, standing dim as I have searched for single

a rock, resisted his attack.

gloves under tables in crowded: tion almost from the start. The in England, than in the creation figure, but it had freed itself from him a roc

"Now, Caesar," he whispered, and restaurants and under the feet hald out his sword, for Commodua to Government has now decided to of a Professorship in Chinese at and fled.

Bassianus shook his head and appoint a committee to enquire Cambridge or Oxford. But that

jnto the daylight.

sprang aside with a light, theatres. I have spent some into the finances of the Univer- is only one aspect of the pro-stepped out through the low entrance strike. And as the blow fell, Basi of people in darkened movie dancing step, feigning to slip, and part of every day or night hunt- A bigger and more The shouts of the crowd greeted his threw himself on to his shoulders. ing for a woman's glove. If eity and to determine whether blom. any changes in staffing, salary adequate endowment of the ears like the sound of distant thunder. He will reward mo" he thought,

He stood facing the Emperor, whom He smiled up at the Emperor, who there were no other reason in scales or organisation are desir University is the primary need:

over and glared at him the world for hating women, able. Overshadowing all other We commend the necessity he saw for the first time at such close bent

infuriatedly as he thrust his sword that one would be enough, fetea is that of finance, which, therefore to those whose wealth quarters.

Quite a little fellow," thought into his throat.

In fact, you can leave all the of course, be directly on the would make the needed sale Basalanus, as delicately built as my Young Bassianus Just heard the

others out general efficiency of the institu-tance relatively, easy,

brother Antonfur. Poor Antonius can roar of the rejoicing multitudë.

anus