1936-11-27 — Page 6

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1986..

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Hongkong Telegraph.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1036.

BRITAIN'S POLITICAL

TENDENCIES

I Explode The Haggis

By

P.G. Wodehouse

W

ELL, boys, to-night's

the night. St. An-

drew's Day has

come round again, and all Newts and Frogs?

over the world, from London you remember the passage to

the remotest British which colony, Scotsmen will soon happens upon the three Witches

ito

refer?

Macbeth

To-night is St.

Andrew's Ball

The

brilliant humorist

here surveys the "Vigil of St. Haggis"

#H

and honey. After a glass or

are at the table or under it,

Safety First

MUST confess that, if ever 1 were invited to 'n St. Andrew's night, I would insist on taking į Sir Bernard Spilsbury with me,j and turning my plate over to

The king who

stands

alone

There is no King of Bel-

There is a King of

gium. the Belgians.

be seated about dinner while they are proparing the of equal parts of whisky, cream, tables-waiting. They will evening meal. They are drop- two of this, you simply don't ping things into the cauldron notice anything, not even if you have gathered together to do honour to their patron saint, but it will not be of him that they will be The stern criticism of Sir thinking at the moment. Stafford

fellow- Cripps by

Their knives and forks clutch- Labourites Herves to recall the ed in their hands, their mouths various shades of political thought watering, their eyes wolfish,

and chanting. "Eye of newt and him before I touched a mouth- represented in the Labour Party, they will be watching the door ton of fro. root of bat and ful It throws into prominence, also. through which are about to fangne of dog," and so

on, and My caution might cast a dam- the increasing difficulty ex-enter, in the following order, he immediately recognises the per on the party. Unpleasant perienced by other countries in bagpipers, the bearers of Atholl recipe. "How name, you neeret, looks might be directed at me. following political trends inbrose, and... the Haggis.

black and midnight hongis! ke I wouldn't care,' “Just analyse Britain where

eries, shuddering. there

this. Bernard," I would say, wre Incredible as it may вест, NOW inumerable brands of

they will be looking forward to This has caused misunder- quietly, but firmly. And only when he had blown the All Clear Conservatives, Labourites and eating the beastly stuff.

standings and has done

to join the Liberals. Although the smallest

Yet do not think that I blame is, it is not quite as had a revels.

injustice to haggis. Grim as it would I consent party, the Liberals present to all the honest fellows. I am broad that or should not be. What Haggis has another quality servers the most baffling specta-minded. The fact that I per the dish really consists of-or which I dislike. I asked a Scal- ele of all-there is such a variety sonally, have a stomach which should consist of is the more tish friend how you started in of shade that, as one writer has shies like a startled horse, and intimate parts of a sheep, on it--what was the first move, expressed it, every Liberal dis-turns three handsprings at the chopped up fine and blended as it were--and a dreamy, soul- trusts every other Liberal of not not lead me to sneer at their onions, oatment, and beef suet.

mere thought of haggis, dous with salt, pepper. nutmeg, ful look came into his face. being a Liberal! In some quar-

"You give it a bit cul with ters there has arisen a fear that simple enthusiasm. we may see in Britain a develop- What I say to myself is that is a grave danger of the cook knife," he said, "am iphets,

deprecate ment of the Continental practice there must always be Danger- going all whimsy and deciding ses at you."

this. Heaven knows I am no!

The Fleming, who are like Ger- of having a multitude of political ous Trades, that it takes all not to stop there.

snob, but there are sucial dis- mans in the tone of their language parties, between some of which sorts to do the world's work-

When you reflect that a finctions. A decent Bumility is and appearance, more or less hate it is extremely difficult for the and that if these devoted men haggis is served up with a sort what we expect in our food, not the Walloons, who speak French and electors to perceive, any real are willing to eat haggis, it ill of mackintosh round it, conceal heartiness and familiarity, A.

hate the Germans. (In Liege they difference. Incidentally, the con- becomes us to raise our eye ing its contents, you will readily haggis should know its place,

peak better French than they do in fusion created by these varying brows. A hearty. "Well, best of see that the temptation to play like a chop. Who ever saw a schools of politien] thought has luck," seems to me a more pro- undoubtedly been a factor in the per attitude.

a practical joke on the boys smirking chop? must be almost irresistible.

Scotsmen have their merry moods, like all of us, and the

rise of dictatorships on the Con-

tinent. There does not, at the They Like It moment. appear to be any solid

But it seems to me that there

That Bhoy Burns

The distinction means that he is not so much king of a country # king of a people. They are not one people but two-the Flemings in the north, and the Walloons In The south.

That helps to explain why King Leopold H has thrown a spanner into the works of European diplomacy by plumping for neutrality and no

Paris).

Leopold has to hold the strings of these horses, each wanting to run a different way.

(semi-Fascists), made

becomes perilous for Belgion unity. Unity is the King's first job in Bel- glum.

In Flanders priests st!! preach "Alles voor Vlaanderen, Vlaanderen voor Christus," that to net for Fland- ers is to act for God.

Last fortnight "Pencock" Degrelle, 30-year-old leader of the Rexists ground for believing that Britain IT is never any use getting thought must occasionally cross A odd thing-ironical, you might sayin connection

an alfiance will ever develop politically along worked up about other the cook's mind that it would with haggis is that it is not with the Flemish Frontists. these lines, for, despite the sub-people's foods. You may not be be no end of a lark to shove in Scottish. In an okt cook book. The Frontists want to break away division of the principal parties able to understand why a lot of newts and frogs and dated 1653, it is specifically from Belgium, form their own coun- combination into little groups each with its cannibal chief, with all the ad- bats and dogs and then stand mentioned as an English dish call-outs for own peculiar outlook, there is vantages of an education at in the doorway watching the ed hanges or hangs, while France still a definite line of demarcation Balliol, should like to tuck into poor simps wade into them.

claims it as her mince (hachis) between Leftists and Rightists. the fried missionary, but he The view has been expressed that does. The thing simply has to Nor could the imposture be going about under an alias. It Atholl would be rather amusing if it Britain was definitely better off be accepted, just as we accept easily detected. That when her politics were in the the fact that Americans enjoy brose, to which I have referred turned out one day, that Burns couple of Irish hands of two well-defined political | Chicago potted meat

and above as the junior partner of was really a factions, it being argued that Frenchmen banillabaise, In haggis, is a beverage composed poets named Pat and Mike, there has latterly been a de-bouillabaise you are likely to cline in political invective find almost anything, from a because of the possibility nautical gentleman's sca-boots ↑ that the men denounced by to a small china mug engraved

any particular group might be with the legend "Un culean Diet Fads: They Come and Go

the critic's political bed-fellow to-present) de (from) Deauville morrow. We should not, how- (Deauville),” - while Chiengo ever, count the decline of political potted meat well, we have

they cume across the verb vituperation a loss, although there all read Upton Sinclair's "The THE world Is ripe for a really good if

new diet Ind. No hashed-up "fetcherise" in a book. is something to be said for the Jungle," and are familiar with viewpoint that when parties are the poignant little story of the version of an old craze will do be

sharply divided the electorale emotional packer named Young cause the rule is that fals, once they The Calorie Craze –

have had their day, can never come

Then we heard about calories and large numbers of people went mathe Public interest in vitamins in wan-matteut in an effort to work out their

WBS

knows better where each faction | who once, when his nerves were back. stands on vital issues of the day, unstrung, put his wife Josephine There was a time, not so many in the chopping machine und ing. All the diet fods of the Inst calorte quotus according to their years ago, when politics at Home canned her and labelled her half-century have met with a similar body-weight and the amount of phy-

fate. The were in the hands of three parties "Tongue."

older ones are Just slení exercise performed. It Conservatives, Liberals and

memories enshrined curt phrases really amusing to watch a golfer Nevertheless, Frenchmen do an apple a day keeps the doctor trying to calculate the wear and tear Labourites. But that was merely

for buillabaise in a big away," "fish is a brain food," "lettuce of a round of golf in mashed potatoes.. a transition stage. Meantime,

for sends you to sleep," "onions cure way, and so do Americans

Well, calories still appear on a Liberalism, as such, has. virtually potted meat. It is the same cold," and so on.

few diet charts but only at their disappeared, thore being little fo

with Scotsmen and huggia. Who, nowadays, chews each mouth-true value as units of heat. Never distinguish it from the moder-They like it. It is no good try-ful of food thirty-two times in ue for one moment did the zealous ate Labour element and the pro-ing any appeals to reason.

cordance with the principle inld down | calorie counters of other years be- I gressive section of Conservative

by Dr. Hurace Fletcher, who believed lieve that they would ever dismiss thought. Thus it will be seen on tell you they like it.

and preached that people were their little friends so lightly. The fact that I am not a shortening their lives by decades be close examination, that for all

The war killed the caloric craze, The cause they bolted their food? intents and purposes, two-party haggis addict is probably due to cult took the country by storm after The average diet of the lean years rule still provails in Britain. It my having read Shakespeare. Mr. Gladstone's admission that he was so deficient in calories that one seems, moreover, that this ten- It is the same with many was a devotee of supermastication. simply dared not think about them. After the war, the calorie tried to dency will become emphasised as Englishmen. There is no doubt But folk of less will-power and stage a sensational return time goes on. Which suggests that Shakespeare has rather persistence than Mr. Gladstone soon limelight, but that favoured spot was that the more that polities appear put us off the stuff. We come got bored and restive with sitting atrendy occupied. to change at Home, the closer across that bit in "Macbeth" in their jaws ached."

about at meal-times munching ti

So the crazc died. they are, in reality, following the our formative years, and it Members of the rising generation traditions of the past.

establishes a complex.

would have to consult a dictionary

Flanders, too, takes Catholicism more seriously than Wallonie. 50 when France makes a pact with Catholica the Soviet, the Flemish And another reason why they should break away from France. The pact is not populur In Wallonie either.

The movement is not confined to peasants and priests.

For a long time reserve officers. up for training have asked staff officers explaining the defence of the frontier against the Germana. Why the Germans? What about de- fending our western frontier against the French?

In Antwerp, which is Flemish, If you ask your. way in French, there is a strong chance you will be pur- posely misdirected."

* 'f

Leopold's job is to bring these conflicting forces into one. En- tanglements abroad make his tusk more difficult. Overboard they go. Tall, slim, determined, sad-eyed since the death of his wife, Astrid, Leopold puts in seven hours a day In giving nuc

audiences. and studying

official documents,

He was educated at Eton and the battlefields of Flanders. Though French was his natural language, at Eton once he was bottom but

division. He. one of the French and the bottom boy were the only two who read French books. for pleasure or could converse Intelli- gently in the language: to the He is a good golfer, horseman.

Dresses lenals player. and talks like an Engilshman, smokes English cigarettes, but his two pas- The public were dallying with the slons are his motherless children. novel idea of eating cabbages and the unity of the country he

rules. (Continued on Page 4.)

and