1936-10-17 — Page 11

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH WEEK-END SECTION

GOOFY

GOLF

I

As CONDUCTED BY ED. KELLY

When His Wife Mashed the Potatoes

With a Driver Instead of a Mashie

HAVE a new nibbler which 1 There is want, to try out. also a gold-pinted stymie which I have used only once. It was pre- sented to me after I had won the Interstate Snooker Championship at the Y.M.C.A.

My position was scrum-half and I scored a fick goal in the top-left pocket just before the final

went.

The crowd gong chaired me off the ground. unenviable experience.

An

was

"Put that driver down!" 1 exclaimed. "The idea! Use your mashie."

The driver was a bit annoyed He wanted to about it, too: know how the devil he was going to pick up a fare when his uni- form was covered with mashed polato.

While I think of it. I want to make it clear to non-golfers that the actual game really means very little. It's the discussion

hit by eight chairs at once and j after the game that counts, had to be escorted by the police.

I have been reading that there

have been complaints from Eng- Tish professionals about the enar-

length

nówly- of the

This lengthened Hoylake course. seems childish to my.

mona

I have played on Courses where we had to have native bearers to carry out portable wireless transmitting equipment and provisions.

rescue

On one occasion 1 was three days in a bunker without food ог drink. When the party from the club-house reached me i was still belingg away madly at the ball with a shovel.

On that particular day I was hooking my slices badly, and it took me two strokes to do an

casy half-mile putt. 1, was dis- gusted with myself and retired

from the game.

Concrete Lawns

golf course I AM planning a

which will be all down hill, Concrete channels will run from one hole to another, with mov- able bunkers here and there. Steel balls, of course, and mag- netic holes.

It may be too expensive to have a club-house with a bar at each hole, but this can be done grad- unliy, as the membership of the club increases.

It is a common saying that good golfers are born, not made. It has not yet been my luck to meet

·

|

Make Them Listen WHAT greater thrill is there in

life than after having suc- essfully stalked your quarry, them to get him cornered and

start telling him how you sliced into the rough and then hit a screamer, desud on the pin?

Hole by hale you go over the game for hours and hours unti | some selfish bound butts in and says, "You're right! The ninth is a tricky hole, Now, last Saturday

That's another innovation I'm going to have in my model gif club. Professional listeners. An absolute necessity. They could he hired out by the hour, and as one went mad his place could bat taken by a fresh one.

I suppose an ordinary enthus- lastic player, would not use up more than about ten listeners

during the course of the day. On wet days he may need more, af

course.

Golf equipment, too, is highly im-

My golf bag holds exnetly | portant. eight bottles of beer, with a pocket at the side for glasses and opener, The clubs are sent on by post. sweater colourful enough to frighten crows and rows is essential.

About Etiquette

A

HAVE not sufficient space to tell you about golf etiquette, Suffice

it to say that etiquette is practically half the game, and if you haven't got one, and contemplate, joining a club you would be wise to go out and get measured for one straight away. I have had. mine for years and And it invaluable.

It should be kept in a cool place but, anyhow, you'll find out all about it in time.

an unborn golfer, so I cannot sub-given the money to pay the gas bill

stantiate the statement.

Myself, I am a marle golfer.

I

mean to say, I'm made to stay at home when I want to play golf.

Wives can be very trying at times.

Only the other day I found my wife mashing the pata- toes with my driver.

SANDALS

FOR

What do you do when you've been

and you find that you've only got two hub of it left?

Sorry to intrude this irrelevant note into the proceedings, but it's a matter of pressing importance at the moment.

I have not sought expert advice, but I have an idea that if I spent the remaining two shillings I couldn't be much worse off.

Yes; think I'll do that.

EVENING WEAR

Silver Kid

Gold Kid Black Crepe

White Satin/Silver

White Satin/Gold

GORDON'S

LTD.

Hongkong's Ladies' Shoo Specialists.

Current Affairs Test

How To Do It

HIVE possible answers are given for each question. Prime Minister of Great Britain is (1) MacDonald, (2) Chamberlain, (3) Hailsham, (4) Baldwin, (5) Lloyd George.

The number 4 (meaning Balthein) has been placed at the right of 0 on the answer sheet,

Answers on Page Tucire,

Home Affairs

1.The newly-appointed commun- der of the British forces in Pales. tine is (1) Deut-Gen. DHL (2)

Arthur

(3) Sir

Wauchope, Brigadier Sloopson, (4) Maj.-Gen. Armitage. (5) Brigadier Mackesy,

# On Thursday Mr. Rineiman, in the House of Commons, reviewed

This The work of his department.

3

វ៉ា។ ( the Admiralty, (2) the Hoard of Trade, (3) the Ministry of Health, (4) the Colonial Offer, (5) the Post Office,

On Wednesday the Bishop of "Winchester, in the House of Lords, drew attention to "road accidents school children." The Hishop is (1) Dr. G. R. A. Bell, (2) De Bertram Pullock. (3) Dr. W. Pere, (4) Dr. A. C. Read- fum, (5) Dr. C. F. Gurbeti.

4. Lord Swinton has been speak- tist on the nord for a stronger Air Forer. Lord Swinton is (11 Chief of the Imperial General Stan, (2) the H.A.F. Col- Commandant of

Inge,

(3) Chairman of Imperial Airways, (4) Civil Lord of the Admiralty, (5) Secretary of State for Alt.

5. A prospective candidate for the representation in Parliament of

the Oxford University

Fate Al Director of the Financial Economie Section of the League of Nations. This is (1) Str Nor- man Angell, (2) Mr. J. M. Keynes, (3) M:. R. H. Tawacy, (4) Sir Arthur Salter, (5) Sir George

Paish.

World Affairs

6--A six years' plan" hins been launched by the Chinese Govern- ment, Its aim is (1) to give China adpunte armaments, (2) to do away with literacy, (3) to ratse

(4) the standard of living, develop transport and com- munications, (5) to convert China to Christianity.

to

7.--An immense sensation has been enused by Herr Hitler's speeches at the annual Nazi rally. This took place at (1) Nuremberg. (2) Hern, (3) Hanover, (4) Munich, (5) Catops,

3.-iopes are entertained of The settlement of the current dispute. between Britain ant Norway. This repcerns (1) sardines, (2) skt-in facilities T8 Norway, ̄(5) the export of Norwegian timber, (4) herring fishing within British territorio! waters, (5) whales,

4. The International Committee to deal with non-intervention in the Spain has been meeting at Foreign Omiec. The Chairman is (1) Mr. Eden, (2) Sir Samuel Hoare, (3) Mr. Ramsay Mac- Donald, (4) Lord Hailsham, (5) Mr. W, S. Morrison.

able for a "take-off,”- (3) it Is whre dimeult to keep to the steamer track,

New (4)

York thor differs by Tour hours from London time, (3) the prevailing winds are westerly,

18. An essay competition has been promoted at Ipswich anet Col- chester 10 conmriorate the centenary next year of the death

1c of John Constable,

was (0) composer of hynn (unes, (2) wriginator of the police force, (3) a landscape painter, (4) inventor of the steam engine. (5) an actor and playwright.

ip.--Miss V. Sackville-West has pro- duced a new Me af Juan of Aré. Joan was buried at the stake in (1) 1389, (2) 1215, (3) 1504, (4) 1431, (5) 1302.

Arts and Books

20. Mane. Kehusninska in Eng- land. She became famous as (1)

An opera singer at Milan, (2) n dress-designer in Paris, (3) ali actress in romantic drama, (4) « 'celist, (5) ballerina in the Hus stan inperial ballet.

21. --- A popular musical play, to be revived in Hongkong in December, is (1) The Merry Widdow, (2) The Chocolate Soldier, (3) The maid of the Mountalas, (4) No! No Nanette, (5) To-night's the Night. 22, Shirley Temple appears in a

new version of an old fim, under the direction of Irving Cummings. This is (1) Duddy Long-Legs, (2) Poor Lite Rich Girl, (339) Unele Tom's Cabin, (4) Little Women, (5) Tugbont Princess.

23-Mr. Fellowes has written a life of William Byrd, Byrd has been described as the father <f (1) British muse, (2) Aretic explora- tion, (3) photography, (4) psycho- analysis, (5) golf.

24,--Mrs. Edgar Dugdale is publish- ing blography of Mr. A. J. Balfotir.

Balfour's Premiership ended in (1) 1885, (2) 1910, (3) 1878, (4) 1905, (5) 1922.

is a

"M

35.-"Clue for Mr. Fortune"

volume of detective stories. Fortune" Is the creation of (1) Dorothy Savers, (2) H. C. Bailey, (3) J. J. Vou Dine. (4) Agatha Christie, (5) Philip Macdonald,

26.--A new 0lm shown in London is

"The Suleide-Club" - The scenario-- Is based on stories by (1) Sir A.! Conan Doyle, (2) fitter Haggard, (3) RL Stivenson, (4) Edgar Wallace. (5) Wilkie Collins.

Sport

27.-The English Test teams, which commenced its first match in Perth yesterday, is captained by G. 9. Allen, who was born in (1) Wales; (2) England; (3) Ireland; (4) Scotland; (5) Australia.

10. Elections were held last month for the Danish Upper Chamber. This is called (1) The Storting. 28. (2) the Landsting, (3) the Diet, (4) the Folketing.. (5) the Riksdag. H.-An appeal for the preservation of order in France has been issued by the Minister of the Interior. He is (1) M. Salengro, (2) M. Frot, (3) M. Leon Blum, (4) M. Vincent Aurial, (5) M. Spinasse.

General

12. The Bolivian Government has just issued a decree (1) legalis- Ing polygamy, (2) forbiilding the use of face-powder or lipstick, (3) prohibiting the Importation of beer. (4) making Esperanto the official language, (5) making work compulsory for all male citizens. 13,The Rev. Leslie Weatherhead is in the news. He is (1) Hend- master of Mill Hill School. (2) author of a cingsical work оп Eschatology, (3) Dr. Narwood's successor at the City Temple. (4) head of a settlement in Bermond- sey, (3) member of an ambulaner unit which has just returned from Addis Ababa.

was

The Cesarewitch, which run at Newmarker this week, was won by (1) Chirgwin; (2) Rondo: (3), Negrier: (4) Fet; (5) Carpet Knight.

20-The

famous athlete, G. L.

Rampling, has announced his in-1 tention of retiring. His best dis- tance has been (1) 100 yards, (2) three miles. (3) 1 mile, (4) one mile, (5) 22 yards.

30.-Germany met Scotland it Soccer this week and was defeated nt Ibrox Park by (1) two goals to one; (2) two goals to nil; (3) three gonis to nil; (4) three Roals to two: (5) three goals to one.

SCORE SHEET

(0)

())

(16)

(17)

(2)

(18)

(3)

(19)

14. A new book on Castlereagh Is the work of Sir John Marriott. Castlereagh died in 1922, He (1) was shot by a religious fanatic, (2) cut his own throat, (3) was knocked down by railway

(-1)

(20)

(5)

(21)

(0)

· (29)

engine, (4) was killed in a duel, (5) fell from his horse at a mili- tary review.

(7)

(23)

(8)

(24)

15. We will shortly be seeing many rainbows. The innermost colour of the rainbow's arch is (1) red, (2) orange, (3) violet, (-1) indigo, (5) yellow,

(0)

(25)

. (10)

(26)

16. There has just been opened n system of new bridges which con- nect the mainland with the Island on which New York is bullt. This island is (1) Bronx, (2) hattan, (3) Bowery, (4) Billmore. (5) Astoria.

(11)

(27)

(12)

(28)

Man-

(13)

'(29)-

(14)

(30)

(15)

SCORE:

17. The Atlantic has agala been crossed from East to West. This Is more difficult than the West to Enst crossing because (1) the earth revolves from West to East, (2) there are few aerodromes suit--

SATURDAY,

OCTOBER 17, 1936

THESE WORDS DID GOOD—I

"Prisoner At The Bar...

و,

MEN have spoken--and the world has become better for their

words.

Before 1857 the Divorce Law in England was even crueller than it is to-day. Divorce could be obtained only by Act of Par- liament.

And then Mr. Justice Maule, in a bitter, sarcastic address to a poor prisoner who had committed bigamy, showed how wrong the law was, and started a movement which led to reform. This is what he said:----

You say you took another person It would cost you. pertaps. five DRISONER at the Bar, you have

been convicted before

of to be your wife because you were or six hundred pounds, and you do TH what the law regards as a very grave left with several young children who not seem to be worth as many pence. and serious offence; that of going required the care and protection of But it is the boast of the law that someone who might art as a sub- it is impartial, and makes no differ- through the marriage ceremons second time while your wife was still stitute for the parent who had de- ence between the rich and the poor. serted them but the law makes no The wealthiest man in the kingdom ative.

You plead in mitigation of your allowances for, bigamists with large would have to pay no less than that conduct that she was given to dis- families.

Hum for the sanie luxury; so 'that Had you taken the other female you would have no reason to com- sipation and drunkraness, that she proved herself a curse to your house to live with you as your ennenblar, plain, hold while she remained mistress of you would never have been' Interfer- It. and that she had Intterly deserted ed with by the law. But your crime you; but I am not permitted to re- consists in having-to use your own

to máke had language-preferred rognise

You such plea. entered into a solemn engagement to honest woman of her. take her for better, for worse, and If you got infinitely

of the latter, as you appear to have done, I was your duty patiently to sub- mit.

алу

MANG

IS YOUR ENGLISH

CORRECT?

DEFINITE AND DEFINITIVE

"definitive"

THE word

Vas

brought to popular knowledate by the late President Wondrow Witson. It means "nak," where- as "detinite" means "exübt."

Thus "definitive conditions" maus "conditions that are nal and must be taken or left as they stand."

"Definite conditions" mearis "conditions that are exactly (pre- cisely set forth."

PER CAPITA. Ignorance of Latin has brought this phrase late misuse

Capita is a plurol neat, so that where the phrase means "per head" or **** man" (though these fre themselves, not very good English) it is serong and should not be used.

Correct is: "The per capita dis- tribution of a legacy means a dis- Iribution among individuals and not by families.“

***

You would. of course. have

to an prove your case over again and at the end of a year or possibly two, You might obtain a decree which 4:

would enable you legally to do what Another of your irrational excuses you have thought proper to do with-

committed is, that your wife had

out it. You have thus wilfully re- adultery, and so you thought you jected the boon the legislature offered were relieved from treating her with you, and It is my duty to pass upon any further consideration; but you you such sentence as I think your were mistaken. The law. In its offence deserves, and that sentence wisdom, points out A means by

Is, that you be Imprisoned for one which you might rid yourself from day: and, inasmuch as the present further association with a woman Assize is three days old, the result who had dishonoured you; bul you is that you will be immediately dix- did not think proper to adopt It.

I will tell you what that process 13. You ought first to have brought an action against your wife's seducer, If you could discover him.

That might cost you money, and you say you are a poor working man, but that is not the fault of the law, You would then have been obliged to prove by evidener your wife's eriminality in a Court of Justion, and thus obtain a verdict of damages against the defendant. who was not unlikely to turn out to be a pauper. But so Jealous is the Inw, (whleb you ought to be aware is the per- fection of reason) of the sanctity of the marriage tie, that in accomplish- ing all this you would, only have fulfilled the lighter portion of your duty. You must then' have gone, with your verdiet in Your hand. and petitioned the House of Lords

for a divorce.

ICED

charged.

POEM

MIGHT-HAVE-BEEN

Look in my face, my name is

Might-have-been;

I am also called Na-more, Tuo-

late, Farewell; But, thine car I hold the dend

sen-shell

Cast up the Life's foam-fretted

feet between; Unto

thine epea the plans where

That is se

Which had Life's form and

Love's, but inji spell

TOTA a

Is

tolerable,

shaken shadow In-

Of ultimate things umuttered the

frail screen,

DANTE GABRIEL ROSSETTI.

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