THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPÌI, WEDNESDAY, JULY 29, 1936. -
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Hongkong Telegraph.
Marriage is also an art; and as auch
only be learned in marriage. How then without marriage can you judge the potentialities (In that art) of the one you love?
Psychologists say that the only true preparation for that art is complete emotional maturity; and that you are to be considered emotionally mature if
1. you are liked by both sexes, 2 you are reasonably happy in your job (a woman
should learn a job even if she intends to marry, they say),
3. you are emotionally inde- pendent of your relatives--
neurotle rela- especially tives and can make im- purtant decisions without them,
4. you have a desire to share the responsibilities as well as the joys of married com- panionship and to make the continuous adjustments.
that it requires. You cannot measure emotional maturity in a paper text; but you can--once your attention is called to observe the first three points in everyday contacts, FIRST THINGS FIRSTpecially when you are visiting
ench other's homes.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 29, 1936.
This questionnaire frank and detailed-is drawn up to throw light on the fourth point; to elicit year emotional maturity in rela tion to what you want from mar- riage and what you are prepared to give.
Mr. Anthony Eden, in his review of British foreign policy, could not woli overlook the question of the future of mandated territories, for doubt less this issue will be touched upon when Germany sees fit to re-A. Answer first those questions on which you have clear-cut bly to the British questiommaire, a opinions, then the others. Its to which is now long value to you naturally depends on response
the honesty you bring to it. The overdue.
British Foreign
your love justifies marriage, it Secretary frankly confesses that will not baulk at the frank'reality idea of transferring man of these significant details.
Answer the questionnaire then compare Your readiness to do that is in itself # test and indleation of emotional maturity.
SAIRA
dates from their present holders D. separately,
to other Powers would raise grave difficulties, but he does throw out a hint that something might be done in regard to the question of freer
materials access to raw produced in mandated territories
Your answers.
C.
and colonies. The British view 1.
If
It will set you thinking and
talking.
What would you appreciate
most in your ident mate?
is that this latter question might Label your choices 1, 2 and 3, well be discussed at an inter-
national conference under League
of Nations auspices.In-taking- this stand, Britain shows a clear realisation of the basic aspect of the problem. There has been no demand by the populations of the mandated territories for any change of control, and, what is
Absolute, loyalty and fidelity; Devotion:
Reliability and trustworthi-
Even temper; Personality;
Senae of humour: Ability to cook and home;
equally to the point, the mandates NOTES OF THE DAY
come
Ask
your
fiancé
(or-ée)
these 20
Questions
Ability to earn money:
Ambition:
Affection;
Physical attraction:
A happy-go-lucky nature;
Brains and common-sense; Love of children;
Lave of home.
Tick off those that you believe you possess in average derate amount.
or mo-
Underline those that you believe you possess in less than average amount,
2. What do you want most from
marriage? choice.
Security; Children;
First and second
A helpmate in your career; Affection;
Comfort;
Physient companionship.
If you rould have thesa outside marriage, would you marry 7
Do you consider marriage
should be:-
3.
...a 50-50 partnership? b... 60-40 partnership which the 111211 ates?
in
i-
In
4.
A centre of spiritual healing has been opened at Milton Abbey, which is situated in one of the most beautiful parts of Dorset- shire. The Abbey was dedicated on June 15 by the Bishop of Sherborne in the presence of more 5. than a thousand men and women, including seventy clergymen, who
arc not exercised solely in the interests of the nundatory At the same time, Powers. there may he scope for making the raw materials produced in these territories more generally accessible, and Britain is quite prepared that this aspect of the question, and also its relevance to certain of her Colonies, should ad come from distant parts of the country to join in a thanks- under sympathetic con-giving festival to celebrate the skleration. When the issue is launching of this new enterprise. ekosely examined it will be seen The Ministry is to be conducted by the Rev. John Maillard, who that the claims of those who are for the past seventeen years has raising this question could be brought physical, and spiritual met if some satisfactory arrange-relief to many sufferers. Milton ment on these lines were renched. Abbey comprises an estate of nine hundred acres. Thirty patients There is not, and never has been, are already under treatment, and any question of excluding from after a certain unount of renova these mandated territories set-tion and reconstruction it is hoped ilers from any country, and it to be able to accommodate about would thus sceni that if the purely two hundred. The centre is open to anyone suffering from mental economic problem could be ad-disorders or bodily ailments and justed; no necessity for further diseases. Plans are in hand for Concessions would arise. It is the development of various occu- even pations, in which vital and con- apparent, however, that from this standpoint Britain structive work may be undertaken, could not be expected to be the and patients will be encouraged to only nation to make concessions, lead normal lives. One section and that is precisely the reason of the Abbey, is fitted with madorn clectrical appliances, and a stair why the idea of an international or trained nurses is to be employ conference on the subject hased, under the supervision of a been put forward. The first resident medical oficer. A special necessity, so far as the general convalescent home is to be built, situation is concerned, is that and a cinema will be erected where major European problems should films can be shown for the enter
and Instruction of be disposed of before these ex-tainment terior issues are raised, Thus patients. No public appeal for Mr. Eden pleads that with no funds has been made, but a sum already been re- of £20,000 has ceived from private supporters., many other international ques tions outstanding, there should be no disposition to introduce at this stage matters which might cause ill-advised to press for the solu- further differences between the tion of problems which might in- nations: Once there is a general volve the nations concerned in settlement in Europe, other and interminable argument and thus less urgent issues can be dealt create an atmosphere in no wise
LANE, CRAWFORD, LTD. with in due course, Until then, helpful to the consideration of
it would be most Impolitie and larger and more pressing issues..
6
· 1+)-fig
partnership
which the womna has the deciding word?
Which would you prefer?
For
Or these three types of wonten :---
vivacious, 1...the
Busty, elinging type who likes to kan en yanat ...the type who prefers to
mother you; the-woman-wim-prefers. to go 50-50 and is neither
dependent motherly.
כון
You are
"emotionally mature
if-
you appreciate most in the ideal mate (See Question One): affection, physical attraction, evens temper, love of home int children.
-if you want most from marriage: nfection, physical companionship, a helpmate in your career if you are n man); children and security (if you are a woman). (Ste Question Twa.)
-if you prefer a 50/50 partacıship. Three.)
See Question
-if you prefer the co-operative type of parter; the man who is neither dominating and paterul nor submissive and hen-pecked; the woman who is neither a "clinper" nor an avermatherly "clucking hen. (See Questions Four and Fire)
-if you rate the following pointa high when choosing a life-partner (ser Question Six): offertion, physical attraction, similar interests and tastes, similar views about life, etc.. desire for children, aufficient means to ensure securiti
-if u are on excellent terms with relatives, prefer to have their approval, but are able to make decisions without them and even against their wishes.
if you would prefer fewer visita from "in-laws" after marriage, but would judge them on their merits.
if you believe that almost any two people can make a aucecss of marriage if they are determined to.
if you believe in making clear before marriage: (a) whether the wife should retain mutside interests or not, (b) how the family income should he contralled and budgeted, (e) about children.
-if you believe that instinct should be guided by know- ledge in the matter of the physical and emotional facts of marriage (See Question Eighteen.)
Do your consider that children 14. In budgeting for
over
7.
should be welcomed:
4....soon after marriage?
ter?
b...after two or three years of
married life?
e...when and only if-par-
a...which do you find more
- Sympathetic?
b...which is the more attrac-
tive physically?
c...which would you choose
s a male if you had not already chosen? d...in which category would you place me? (anece). For women.
e...in which category would
you place yourself?
For women.
wants
8.
Of these three types of men:-
to 9 1...the man who
dominate women; 1...the charmingly submis-
wants sive man who woman to boss him;
is 3...the man who
It
quite to go
manly, but likes 50-50 in eo operating with a wonion? ...which do you find more
sympathetic?
...which attracts you more
physically? c...which would you choose as a mate, had you not already chosen?
enta enn afford it?
One choice.
་
a home which do you consider bet-
fixed 1...ing the wife a
allowance and complete control over it?.
2...The husband to scrutinise
bills and
cash petty accounts and hand over
the money as they are checked?
Bu, you consider it justifiable to have no children: a...if there is hereditary
disease in either family? 15. wise for a husband to lu
it
b...if poverty makes difficult to rear them? c...if either parent does not
wish it?
Should children: .
a...be compelled to undergo. religious instruction? b...be urged 'to?
to?
...be allowed to if they want d...have mine or be dissuaded
from it?
Would you consider it:
sare himself when he marries, if not already in- Bored?
b... reasonable for the wife to contribute a small amount from her allowance to- wards this provision? ·
16. Do you believe that two
people about to marry should get from their doctors # clean bill so far as health and suit- ability for parenthood are
On what terms are you with: cerned. 10.
..
a...your mother? b...your father? e...your brothers and sisters?
In each case, are you strongly attached? On excellent terms? Indifferent? Unfriendly?
d...in which category would 11. How do you genuinely feel
you place me? (fiance). For men.
e...in which category would you place yourself?
nto the following points According to their import anea in your opinion when choosing a life-partner. your choices from 1 to 6.
1. similar interests,
hobbies, ete;
2. desire for children;
towards: a..your mother-in-law-to-be? b...your father-in-law-to-be? e...your brothers and sisters-
in-law-to-be? -
In each case-Strong like? Like very well? Indifferent or dislike?
Do you consider that re-
.:
con-
17. Do you believe that engaged
couples should live, in each other's homes for a time to test out whether they are emotionally, compatible for more than twenty- four hours at a stretch?
18. Do you believe that:
.the physical facts of mar
ringe are important, and the requisite knowledge should be completed from books or doctors or a com- petent adviser?
b...such things should be left to one's own Instinct?
Label :12. Intives (including mothers- 19. Do you believe that divorce
tastes, in-law) should be seen:
3. sufficient means or prospects
to ensure security.
4. the man is a few years
older;
6. same religion;
6. same mice or nationality;
7. the man is taller;
8. similar views about life
and politics;
9. the full approval of parenta
has been gained;
10. physical attraction: 11. affection;
12. pity of one for the other; 13. mutual comfort and con-
venience.
...often?
b...occasionally? c...rarely?
d-some often, some rarely?
13. Do you consider that women
after marriage: a...should retain their job and
complete financial indepen- dence if they so wish? b...should retain a part-time
job if they so wish?
cultivate unpaid, c...should
outside Interests if they wish t
.d...should devote their entire
imo to the
childron?
home and
in:
...never justified?
b...justified if the marringe
makes neither happy? e...justified only In the last
resort?
Do you believe:
20... that almost any two sensi-
ble persons can make a success of their marriage
if they are determined to? b...that unless they are suited to cách other, their chances are poor?
c...that they must be "spiri
tnal ufiaitics": the only two for each other in the worldl?
No comments yet.
Private notes are available after approval.