1936-05-30 — Page 8

THE HONGKONG TE LEGRAPH, SATURDAY, MAY 30, 1936.

DEWARS

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The

Mirth in Hongkong Mist

Hunting for Humour With Mr. F.A. Mackintosh |

Guided by

Laszlo Schwartz

culpa

Large

"Job was going to get married your wife wherever you go?"

EVEN the Weather Man Then he exclaimed: "And me to tell you funny yarns at was on my side the you mean to say that you expect morning I went to hunt for nine o'clock in the morning. humour with Mr. F. A. without a drop of inspiration: inside me just in cold blood, Mackintosh. Not the best with not a drop of whisky to set director in Hollywood-or-mo-a-glowing_und__a-grinning? Elstree could have created a It's a long time since I felt more Scottish-flavoured and more inclined to beat my chest

moment. Then, HONGKONG HOTEL tinted, misty, messy, drab in penitence and wail: Men to the homeliest lassic in the The Rabbi's face became melan-

But he stopped me village. All went well until he cholic for a

found himself in front of the suddenly bursting into a mar and drizzling morn.

with:

altar. Then he began to search tyr's smile, he replied: "Because When I told Mr. Mackin-

"It's had enough to be a tailor, and fumble through his pockets. I don't want to kiss her good- tosh that I wanted a bit of but to be asked to tell jokes in His best man whispered ner- bye."

Mr. Mackintosh thought he Scottish humour, he seemed these hard times is like having vously, 'Have you lost the ring? flabbergasted and showed your mother-in-law for a long Joc took one waeful and desper- had a still better one and was visit and being compelled every ate look at the bride's face and about to trump me one better his surprise, mixed with day to ask her to stay just replied: 'No, man-I've just when they called him into the

50. Now, if lost my enthusiasm.'"* cheery resentment, as only another week or

we buried that good joke right there and then until it can be the Scots can tell it, in Looks you went to a physician, or even an undertaker, they would be Without Words.

more likely to accommodate you AFTER a spirited laughing duet revived some day at nine o'clock. which Scotland and But not in the morning-no, with some good jokes."

"Why to a physician?" Hungary took equal honours, I siree; in the evening. And not kintosh may insist on his usual NOTES OF THE DAY pressed, sensing a good joke be just couldn't resist reciprocating without an overture. Mr. Mac-

hind his merry accompanying with a very apropos story:

"A Rabbi was punished with Homeland product, and I may a wife whose features could wistfully long for the wine that Should there be an inter-

In methods of overcoming the)

"Because a doctor can bury never be improved upon by the won fame for my country. But national police force acting depression the nations may be under the League of Nations to divided roughly into two groups. his mistakes, but mine haunt combined genius of all the we will compromise; oh, yes, take the place of the military One believes in relation, which me through the rest of my life." beauty specialists and face- we will, in a hearty laugh. For Yet he men who cultivate smiles more has been defined as inflation with That broke the ice-I mean, lifters in the world. at present one's fingers crossed; the other cleared away the mist-for next never went anywhere without persistently and consistently maintained by each nation at its has adhered to deflation. The moment he drew me aside to tell taking her along. One day, a than frowns have no difficulty in own cost and acting only under latter group, of which France is the funniest Scottish yarn he wise old Jow asked him, Pray smiling over their differences,

tell me, Rabbi, why do you take small or great. its own orders? Before answer-duce its internal costs of pro-had ever heard:

Hongkong Eclegraph.

SATURDAY, MAY 30, 1936.

INTERNATIONAL POLICE

forces which are

the leader, has bent its efforts to

duction, so as to be able to meet the pices which the rival group has been able to quote merely by dovaluing or depreciating ita eur- reneles. Toland has hitherto been one of the deftationista. But it has now seceded and joined the "nemy," according to the Christian Science Monitor,

self-i

twinkle.

in

sk

Try-On Torture Chamber, and

MEN, WOMEN, & HATS

hal.

wear.

to the Bowler

BULLS AND INNERS

Comfort First

So it behover the hatters,

before

they lightly interfere with our tastes

venient Trilby, and to confer a sort of old school tie aura on the wearer, I question whether the battle of the bowler will be any more successful, from the hatters' strategic standpoint, than the long rear-guard action winged over the topper.

ing that question it is necessary to decide whether we are dis- cussing a desirable ideal for the future or one that could put into practical effect at once, men and things being what they are. If the matter is argued, as it were in vueno, as a question of acade-

Deflation in Poland has been IT is about time somebody with the

courage of his convictions spoke A Counterblast

and liberties in hats, to ponder well mic political philosophy, most of extremely rigorous. Wages in the up on behalf of the soft felt

what they are doing. Long before the political us will be convinced by the rea- coal industry, for instance, have There is an obvious conspiracy just

French Terror there were been hammered down till, accord-now afoot to disparage and oven to

factions in many parts of the world soning of the international

ing to the London Bronomist, "Po-censure that comfortable article of

who were recognised by their distinc police force advocates. Put very fish coal has been sold in Baltic male attive. All manner of people

tive headgear. Time was when the topper was an emblem in this country briefly,

without detail, they and Scandiatvian markets at a are being roped into this plot against Majesty King Edward the Eighth to

financial importance, Tho hatters point to the fact that the King's third of the prevailing domestic the much-abused Trilby, from Ha

·Jrice,"

This was not entirely due that somewhat pedantic sartorial By "AN OLD STAGER" of official status, social distinction, and fought to the last die-hard ditch to The critic, Sir Walter Gilbey, peace within Great Britain is to wage-cutting, of course.

retain that superstition, but they maintained almost inviolate on Polish--Government, in trying to At the British Industries For King

Hats are no unimportant factors in battled all in vain. A policeman or a account of two things. First, overcome its competitive handi- Edward paused to nilmire some bowler

cap, has paid subsidies, granted hats on a stall, and is reported to have the human cosmos. They have play-county cricketer to-day who appeared the ordinary private citizen is export premiuris, and allowed expressed a hope that more of that ed a most significant and even vitai wearing a topper would be an object form of headwear would be seen in role in big history. Their department of ridicule and fun. Even in the disarmed. Secondly, an over- freight rebates. But deflation is this realm. Sir Walter Gilbey went intimately interwoven in our soclal City the ence august topper no longer whelmingly powerful state at bottom, a problem in

out of his way, at the banquet of the etiquette, and their shape and colour cuts any financial ice. It remains to denial. This has affected agricul Halters Association, to attack the have been distinguishing emblems in day, the exclusive Insignia of the police-force exists to suppress ture equally with industry, though slovenliness of modern youths who

Hats are extraordinarily recondite and the seaside cabby.

Having been decisively, routed over crime whenever it occurs and to the Poilsh Government has tried slouched about the town wearing aort..the stormy annals of a world's unreat, stationmaster, the undertaker's man,

things.

the topper, the hatters are now mak- maintain order. Carry this over to soften the rigour by controlling rimmed hats. Members of the lat wide have given In their maliness,

Even to this day the ancient ing the bowler their second line of Despite the hy analogy, to the international foreclosure sales, reducing inter-ters Association, who have a method

eat rates, and initiating the writ-publicity to these fnels.

Grecian helmet still survives. We see professional defence. community, and it is obvious ing down of farm indebtedness. It would not surprise me to find it, practically in all its pristine drama, fact that in certain semi-genteel that world peace requires the The memory of inflation that that we are on the eve of a great in our modern remen's helmet, and suburbs this uncomfortable and ugly complete disarmament of in- has so far inspired the deflation-wear-more-bowlers advertising ramp. though in a slightly modified, and form of headwear is regarded as being dividual nations and theary policy in Poland is too close If this is so, as I strongly suspect, aldebused form, in our policemen's head-socially a cut above the soft and con-

to the Poles to be ignored. The warning note is due. establishment of a world police present zloly is the third currency force deriving its authority and in the short history of the new Poland. Inflation sank the first giving its loyalty not from or to into worthlessness, and the second individual nations but from or had to be devalued. Poland to the whole body of nations as knows bat inflation is just as bad a recognised unity. Brevity as deflation, and will now, prob forbids the development of criably, try to steer the middle ticism that might be made-e.g.

Though it lacks the unache of the the danger of analogy, the fact that behind the demand for a of armaments"—not "disarma-lof State for the Colomics was re-interpretation of the Annual Rool graceful cavalier's plumed soft cently urged to "soak the rich" in ports of the Sanitary Department, hat, or the adventure of the wide- This brimmed sombrero, the modern Trilby Court

not soak the Women Dislike Baths."

has yet its artistic appeal. Estheti world police there reaily lies ament" in Article 8, a

probably explains the invention of cally there can be no comparison at soakers?

jall between a soft felt hat and a hard demand for a sovereign world without power to enforce its Hongkong. Why

bath salts! decisions in Article 14 and 15,

13

bowler, whether the latter be of the ปี state; and in particular the military force to be used against

Appropriately enough, an Ameri- Lereation of a tribunal who could a wrong-doer under Article 16 can flee and Fork Company has A gigantic bronze statue of domed variety or of that square. small farmers and stock breeders. call upon the world police toy each nation contributing a turned to the manufacture of golf Signor Mussollai in to contain two topped style popular amongst certain lifts inside the legs emerging Into You still come across the latter at a excente its decrees. Intelligent quota of its national force. clubs.

a balcony erected round the farmers' ordinary, but even the bowler advocates of the international Once again in the recently

has not shoulders. Visitors will apparent-enthusiasts regard that variety with derision and content. There is a fatal schism in the bowler camp, and police ideals would doubtless ad-evoked French proposals for a The nudist magazine

peace plan the International been barmed in Hongkong. Naturly be shot up in pants.

ahat divkled against itself is surely mit the force of some of these pelice idea' appeared. The ally: our authorities always did be-

Australian fruit, destined for doomed. willleve in the naked truth. criticisms, and accept the neces-practical Englishman

Hongkong, is to be given Good Enough for a King. sary additions and modifications probably resist it again. The Radio Takes World To Epsom". light Sleep."

After the bedding-

There remains, of course, the Royal of their scheme,, Agreement nations of the world are too says newspaper headline. When out, of course!

recommendation given to the rounded diverse in character, habit, radio, takes Epsom to the world.

bowlor. But disciples of the Trilby thus might be generally reached political outlook and system of that'll be moving news.

The three stages of Hongkong may respectfully quote against that that it would be very nice to government to work in suf-

:0

Seventh. Eviction!

It was that illustrious have a world police force. Very ficient harmony to make a world The only filip our share market prison life: Conviction, Reception, the example of King Edward the monarch, a great stickler on nill nice, but is it possible in the state possible. We have got to is getting at present is from the

Newspaper heading: "Yanks sartorial affairs, who oven went so far

es to say that brown loca world as it is at present con- become far more internationally Philippines.

0.0 A spirit resembling gin is said Bent Boston". Gave on beans, vulgar, who gave the soft Homburg, stituted? It is interesting to minded, Indeed far more one-

hat its first leg up. What was good minded-cor at any rate, tolerant, note that at the time the League before

L

enough for King Edward the Seventh of Nationa

system fitted for to have been produced from fil-in fact! Covenant

nutty.

Of course, ono must never dogmatisa heard to remark that "Hongkong on questions of personal taste. There framed, the logical" French-any hope of success. If that

The Negus is visiting England certainly has an eyeful of brights, as we all know only too well, a man did his best to get provision was true in 1920, it is far truer for an international police force to all appearance in 1986, when in cog. This, we understand, is dames." What did he expect in a venerable Latin tag against it. The

sanctuary for birds?

D inserted in the Covenant- there nationalism has grown more ex-short for "incoherent."

D more intolerant, more

The only things some tourists and then. The Practical clusive,

bitter than it has ever been A well-known local professor Englishman resisted; and you before in the history of man- left Hongkong by the "Dorado" carry away with them from Hong I get a mild attempt at "reduction kind.

yesterday. Forstering air, travel. kong are good impressions.

courac of reflation.

A

D

口

From the Office Butts

It is stated that the Secretary According to a local scribe's

انا

Ca

O

D

ט.

Comfort first is the slogan of the modern man, and the soft felt is be- yond dispute by far the most comfort- able at ever invented. Moreover, not all of us nee sartorial effects with the eyes of a Sir Walter Gilbey.

was Utopla could be introduced withberts. Enough to drive anybody | An American tourist was over-is still good enough for me.

were

Sir

worst of it is that people like Waller Gilbey, who seems to have act himself up as a sort of unomelat arbiter on dress for both sexes, do dogmatise on this point. It might (Continted on Pazo 4.)