1936-05-29 — Page 18

THE HON

TELEGRAPH, FRIDAY, MAY 29, 1936. ·

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B-8421 Don't lät the river sun dry

Just keepin' on

Sung by Peter Dawson ..Sung by Peter Dawson (Sieczynnski)

B-8421. Vienna, City of my Dreams

Sung by Webster Booth Stay with mo for ever ["Giuditta") (Lehar)

Sung by Webster Booth

C-2835 Certrude Lawrenco Medley-Parts 1 & 2

Gertrude Lawrence BD-334 Whore there's you there's me.... ...Jack Hulbert You're sweeter than I thought you were..Jack Hulbert

(Both from the Film-"Jack of all trades") BD-335 Top your tootsies (Film-Jack of all trades")

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LASZLO SCHWARTZ, Hungarian Caricaturist who has been Writing a series of articles on humour for the "Telegraph” discovers that there's even

Humour in the

Hongkong Ship-Owner's

Lair

*

Mr. S. T. WILLIAMSON was his

of baskets of eggs from Swatow his head sadly and said: "No; I only 170 miles away, but by the haven't had one since 1907. You I worked for a company victim for to-day's article.

time the shipment reaches here sec, OME day a benefactor of LITTLE wonder that I wend many of them have hatched and then which allowed us only two bottles of whiskey a day. I IS

my way to Mr. S. T. are delivered as chickens !" humanity will arrange

Williamson's office full o' 'ope "Have the Chinese sailors as drank three and they fired me.' an International Olympiall and 'ilarity for something con- keen a sense of humour as safors That story sort of started him off, and ever since I recovered of Humour and if that bless- nected with ships and the sen. from the West?" I asked.

"Indeed, they have. I haven't from the hysterics he sent me ed event should come to pass, Fortunately, I only had to make I would riskt all my money a drawing of his fine massive come across a Chinese yet, sailor, into, I made up my mind to call plus the buttons off my head, and not his still more tailor or undertaker, who didn't every Hongkong physician's al- Namely, when The funeral Service for the late Mr. pyjamas that the seaman's massive figure, for that would have the capacity to square most tention to this genius among

have gone hard on the Tele- things with a good laugh. And laugh-makers. F. O. Drake will take place at the

an- the doctors give up all hope of Chapel, Colonial Cemetery, at funny yarns will take first graph's paper supply. When I even when they curse one 1. Saturday, May, 30th (crema prize.

asked him for a bit of waterside other it is very funny, for he'll curing their patients suffering tion). No flowers by request, eny donations to Hongkong Benevo- If they should win the humour he winked his eye and never curse the man he is augry from nervous breakdown, in- at but his honourable long de- somnia, St. Vitus Dance, melan- lent Society.

cholia or hiccoughs, let them not second prize against over answered:

"Little cargo, little humour. ceased ancestors." whelming Jewish competi- Much cargo,

advise the fretful family to ar- much humour. tion, it will be only because Nowadays we haven't much AT this point in came Mr. range with the undertaker and Neilic Lang, frae Dumbar- print invitations for the victim's most of the humorous sea cause for hilarity, for things are Hongkong Telegraph. stories are too strongly salt- quict in shipping and even some ton--and you can still recognise funeral. No: "there's no need of the little cargo we carry it after thirty odd years in the for it. Just call up Mr. William- ed for general public con- changes overnight during tran- East-one of Bir, Williamson's son's office and ask for the loan sumption.

sit.' He chuckled-I didn't. senior Chlef Engineers, who is of Mr. I mean Dr-Neille FRIDAY, MAY 29, 1936.

They can be purged, puri- If ever anyone gave a profes- one of the greatest living store- Lang. If he can't make them a knock-out houses of scu yarns in the East. laugh and well, then they're not fied and disinfected of course sional humorist IMPRISONMENT

When I suggested that we worth saving. -but-if you do that they blow with the first whack, I was

But don't try it on a patient B-8416 Faithful Jumping Jack (Heykons)

Marek Weber's Orchestra Chinese opposition, expressed will be as void of spray, spice certainly that floored victim. swap stories, he told me he had

I suggested may cause epilepsy and sudden Standchen (Hoykons) .Marek Weber's Orchestra in the Legislative Council on and bubbles of humour as a When he saw my puzzled expres- to be in the right mood-sort easily shocked. The experiment

"You see, we carry hundreds alcoholic sources, but he shook death! BD-331 Obatination

Alfredo Campoli & His Orchestra Wednesday, against the increas-honeymoon trip would be with- sion Mr. Williamson explained: ef inspired.” Tango Habanera....Alfredo Campoli & His Orchestrated powers being given to magis-out champagne and a-bride.

I am still to meet the trates to impose imprisonment connected with the sea who can't C-2833 "Follow the Sun"-Selection--Parts 1 & 2

(With Vocal Refrain)

without the option of a fine for disgorge a splendid repertoire of Jack Jackson's Dorchester Hotel Orchestra certain mui-tani offences, would stories full of grins and groan- · BD-337 The Town Talks-Plane Medley..Vivian Ellis (Planist) not appear to rest on very con-ing laughs. And salt, of course.

Reminiscences of Friml-Paramount Theatre Organ

vincing grounds. The Attorney Plenty of salt and spices. Spices Foort General got down to bedrock gathered from all corners of the world including - Mandalay, when he pointed out that there Nome and the Solomon Islands. George Scott-Wood

is no intention that imprison- George Scott-Woodmont should be inflicted in every

Jack Hulbert Celebratin' (From the Film-“Limefight")

Jack Hulbert BD-332. My heart and 1 (Film "Anything Goca")..Evie Hayes

If you love me

.Evie Hayes BD-330 If I had rhythm In my Nursory Rhymes .Sam Browne

The Star and the Rose

BD-338

.Sam Browne

BD-336 Songs of Songs (Moya) (Piano Accordeon)

Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life (Herbert)

BD-339 Gorshwin Medley

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Renara (Pianist) case of breach of the Ordinance NOTES OF THE DAY

or regulations, magistrates be ing merely given the power to impose prison sentences in in-

A BEACON ACROSS AN OCEAN

direction. finder which will guide Pan-American 'planes across the China Sea from Manila to Macao is ready.

THE beam

**

#

THE secret of the regular Signor Mussolini is anxious for flight of the "Clipper" ma- rapprochement with Great chines across 8,000 miles of the Britain, so he says, but he is un-Pacific Ocean from California to

Co., Ltd. stances where they consider that willing, or unable, to take the Manila with air mails. each week

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the offence justifies such a step. initiative in secking a Mediter-lies in the invention of the radio

stations. The stations give a The extreme solicitude shown by ranean understanding as long as

compass.

bearing which helps to guide the the dissenters for visitors to the sanctions continue. Such a movo

might entail a technical admission This instrument, which guards pilot to his objective. Colony who might be ignorant of the justice of sanctions; and, an aircraft from the dangers of Hitherto occan flyers have had of the law was somewhat sur-in spite of everything, Signor drifting off its course while fly- to rely on celestial navigation- prising; obviously, the law can-Mussolini is unlikely to admit ing over the ocean, is destined difficult matter when flying at Hot take account of such that the League of Nations action to play a big part in the develop high speeds-radio communica ignorance. Maybe the opposi-in penalising an aggressor was

the sighting of ships at sea. tion to the strengthening of the warranted. In fact, he probably ment of trans-Atlantic aviation. tion with aircraft and vessels, and

The radio compass is an instru- law rests more on the possible does not consider Italy an aggres

sor nation. Il Duce says that ment which is able to pick up CELESTIAL observation obvious creation of a state of alarm

Britain must remove her warshipa bearings by wireless from distant ly depends on a clear sky to amongst the local Chinese popu: from the Mediterranean before le lace; if that be so, fears might removes his garrisons from Libya,

be mollified somewhat if a period for the presence of a British flect SIDE. GLANCES of grace, say one or two months, in these waters is looked upon as were given before the new pow-ja threat to Italy. Italy seems to ers are put into operation. How-forget that the British fleet com

concentrate in force ever, it is not to be assumed menced to

that there will be unduly atrin-only after Italy had started a war gent application of the law right of conquest in country bordering away, None the less, it is upon three large and important British territories and the Em- essential that registration re-pire's vital trade route to the quirements, on which the whole Far East. Italy forgets, or per- case for eventual abolition of the haps never realised, that the mui-tsai system rests, should be movement to the Mediterranean fully enforced. It is somewhat was defensive, that it has never of a coincidence that this ques-Leen anything else, and that if tion of imprisonment powers the effect of the British. Fleet'a, should come to the fore at a presence is anxiety in Italy, it is for moment when our gaols are Rome to remove the cause. Ver- with bal assurances, moreover, do not already overcrowded prisoners, so much so that men convince anybody that their toes undergoing sentences are being are not going to be stepped upon: released almost daily before the for such things can happen by ac- cident,. It is still Signor Mussolini's expiration of their terms. This move. raises goneral

again once

the

the

of problem overcrowding of the Calony's no fear of such punishment. If these people are to be kept out prisons. It is clear that the main cause of this over- of the Colony, more effective crowding is to be found in the means than periodically clapping constant sending of people to them into prison will have to be prison for minor, and really non- found, as one of our magistrates' criminal, offences. Viewed from pointed out a few days ago. whatever standpoint, this prac There is, of course, a bigger tice is wholly unjustified; apart issue involved in this matter, from other consideration, such namely, the-whole question of as first offences, it is a most our banishment laws. But what- uneconomic business, involving over the solution of these several the Colony in considerable cost, points may be, it is perfectly besides bringing the operation clear that our prisons are being of the law into disrepute. needlessly cluttered up with Another aspect of the question is people who ought never to be in to be found in the constant re- gaol at all. The whole problem, committal to gaol of returned in all its ramifications, needs banishees, who obviously have thoroughgoing investigation, "

By George Clark

A

Any other nim would pad that enough to take care of his wife's expenses, and not make the boss think lie was such a small thuier."

take a "Ax" from the sun or stars. Radio-telephony is limited by the radius of the receiving set in the. aircraft or of the station, and sighting of ships at sea is a chance method of checking position.

The radio compass solves all these dimculties.

In order to use it the pilot uses his wireless receiver to pick up the desired station. Any station sending out frequent signals can become the objective. The pilot tunce in until volume is at the maximum. Then he has merely to watch a needle on his instru- ment board which points to zero. If the machine veers off its course the needle moves accord- ingly and provides a warning.

The pilot then corrects his course until the needle is back at zero. The machino will go direct- ly to the radio station.

The apparatus can be adjusted to compensate for drift.

During the testa particular attention was paid to the range of reception; reception by day and night; at high altitudes; in clear air; and in fog and rain.

The radio compass is also able to pick up shore stations for bear- ings to determine the exact posi-- tion of the aircraft,

*

OVER thousands of miles of

ocean where bear winds, which may change during the flight, are experienced, drift can- not be checked by reference to charts. Cross bearings cannot bo taken as no land stations are near enough,

Such flights as that of Ulm from California to Hawaii might not have ended in disaster had the machine bout' fitted with a radio compass. .......

The ocean stages of the Pacific route require a radio range of anything up to 1,800 miles. The powerful radio stations at Hawaii, Midway, Wake, the Guam Islands, Manila and Macao will enable the "Clipper" to face great ocean journeys without any risk of being blown off her couras.