1936-05-16 — Page 6

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH, SATURDAY, MAY 16, 1936.

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"Laughter

in the Court..

99

wherein LASZLO SCHWARTZ,

Hungarian “Humorist, accompanies

the Hon. Mr. M. K. LO on

wings of a humanised smile

MOST men of affairs in Hongkong run true to type. In one breath (a short one) they tell you they cannot remember humorous incidents and in the next breath (longer) proceed to the contrary. I Stubbs Rd. prove

admit (so will they) some of them need disinfection and fumigation-(I mean, the "stories," of course) before they

ANNOUNCEMENT.

Mr. and Mrs. Fung Kong Un beg to announce that the marriage of their daughter, Stella, to Mr.

Chau Sing Kan will take place at the Registry on Thursday, May 21st, 1938. No invitations are being sued but all friends will be

welcome. at the Reception to be

held at the Hongkong Hotel at

4.30 p.3

The

Hongkong Telegraph.

SATURDAY, MAY 16, 1936.

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Now, when the Hon. Mr. M. K. Lo tells you that he can't think of anything funny "just now”, I believe him without reserva- tion, for during the minute or two I took to tell him why I came, four secretaries, account- ants and clients came in to shoo away any and every bit of con- ducive and seducive atmosphere in which humour could be born and survivé. At last I wedged in with a question:

"Does the unholy trinity of Business, Sex and Matrimony serve as the principal source for humour in Chinn as it does in the West?"

"Business? Yes; for we are never in such a great hurry as to sacrifice a laugh for speed.

"Sex? Yes, but by no means

as inexhaustibly and diligently cultivated a source as it is with

you in the West.

devil, but there's a laugh in them just as surely as there must have been extraor- dinary potent flavour in the

"Matrimony? No. It inay apples that caused Daddy

surprise you, but with all the Adam no end of trouble. (I signs of modernism dominating we still consider use the phrase "no end of the scene,

marriage a very solemn and trouble" historically and not dignified problem in life. How- in its hysterical sense.....).. ever, that doesn't mean that there is no play of fun between parents and children in the Chinese homes. Indeed, there's

NOTES OF THE DAY

a

great deal of it, but the prin-

cipal laugh matters in our homes. are our wives and children. The Japan, we notice, has indignantly Chinese mother never misses a denied the suggestion, attributed to British and American statesmen, chance to evoke a smile and a that she is countenancing, and, in laugh from her beloved children. deed, encouraging smuggling in I do not refer only to the cultured North Chit with a view to weaken- Chinese! Even the most primi. ing the Nanking administration's tive coolie's wife has a genius We wonder for it. Just watch them cuddling financial position. whether Japan will deny that Tuky their little ones and see with authorities and their subordinates what great wealth of cheery in Japan and on the mainland of Asia have done nothing to prevent affection they enrich children!"

humorous story would follow next day. It did. It's good enough to be with me the rest of the way around the world after I've given the kind reader his share of its laughs:

"The humdrum practice of the Law cannot be very fertile in humour, and, as far as I am con- cerned overwhelming pressuru of work is not conducive to the recollection of humorous stories.

soon

"I recall one which I heard.

from after my return England, concerning the old ski days of Hongkong which I have told to various friends. I be Hleve that it has a substratum of truth. It Is ns follows:

"A European interpreter at the Police Court, though very learned 'in

and Chinese thoroughly competent, was op casionally not very clear in a Chinese Tones'. In polite Chinese language 'Cheung Fu means 'husband', though popu larly, and especially amongst the poorer classes, they usually

NIGHT AT

TT is evening. The warm wea- ther has come, and all the

doors and windows in the place

A controversy being waged at Home just now, on the relative merits of bungalows and Bluts, is not without its interest to Hongkong. Actually, fault is being found with both types of building, but for different rea- Objection is not veiced against bungalows as such, but are springing up in increasing the swelling volume of illicit Japan-

Walking up from the ferry, numbers in suburban areas. he trade in China. The mere facto said the very, very busy Mr. | The opposition to flats, of which that they have objected to China's M. K. Lo and at that moment somewhere about Middle Road,

methods of combatting the smuggl his features became mellowed.hear the opening bars of a song more are being erected everying oril, by the arming of her year in the larger cities, is much guards, is sufficient justification for Then, on the wings of a very, on the radio. By the time I the claim that the Japanese are not very humanised smile he flew get to Granville Road, I am stronger. On this latter point, helping to suppress this traffic. away from secretaries, clients, listening to the last verse. I've accountants, courts, directors' heard it all without a break in there is a loud cry for the

At the same time it is rumoured meetings, foreclosures and bank-the continuity. authorities to come forward and

that the Tokyo Government is ruptcies to the gardens of the I reach home and the radio opposite about to make certain demands of soul. The Chinese soul-where is going full blast. There is also a China, compelling her to a closer

*

*

It was my rare privilege to accompany Mr. Lo on that trip. Like all lovely things, It didn't last long. He was whisked back by a very urgent case."

are open.

must cat.

I

say 'Lo Kung.' Now, 'Cheung- F', but in different tones, also means long trousers'. One day

very ignorant woman was be- fore the Court on some petty offence, and in due course the Interpreter asked her whether she was married, io. whether she had a husband, but perhaps he

pronounced the words 'Cheung Fu' with the tonal valite for long trousers' rather than for husband. In any case the poor woman, who had never heard words to mean husband,' naturally assumed that they meant long trousers.' She look- ed very demure, blushed, looked down nt. her toes and said: "Your Honour, these are the longest I have. There was quite a lot of excitement: The more ex- cited the interpreter became, the more she blushed, until, in desperation. the Interpretor shouted, using the vulgar torm Have you a "Lo Kung'? Thon her expression changed showing full relief and she answered quickly Ob, Is that what you mean? My husband is dead."

KOWLOON

think some of the officers must live out about Prince Edward Road.

It hopeless to expect

mess here, I ro, out, but I cannot walk

for th on the pavements and all the seats on Chatham Road are occupied dirty. by hooligans, squatting with their pavosho

feet on the seats, Concerning should mean the pave

you

says, holding out a shoe for my in- spection, "you no savvy, wha' side you. wallec, Aye-yah! Proof!! S'pose no difink last nl, you see more betta". And then, "Dog he no savvy dub-you- sec, he apollum stiut." All this with the freedom of an old servant.

So falling in my search for silence,,

I

B

go the pictures. The noise there will at least be co-ordinated and per- haps (7) harmonious.

Badly disillusioned. The first "short" is of Jazz band and dancing. Then I was entertained with a choice selec-

for beer and. boot-polish, and a obviously

hay fever.

a

My eyes are just closing in peacetion of advertiscture of a lady

12 friend in

human form, a 'trumpeter, splits the welkin with his bugle. My cigarette falls down inside my open shirt, and

frenzied dance for execute a his forebears. Fortunately, am minute, meanwhile cursing him and wearing shorts, so soon get rid of the cigarette.

I

grapple with this epidemic. Flats have found considerable

within hearing.

bit. People favour in London and other big co-operative system in the matter in ages gone by throughout rotten jazz player on a rotten piano

Thing full down of finance and economies, even to thousands of years so many

After dinner, taking ad- cities, but the critics say that, establishing the yen as the base of seeds of beauty, nobility, poetry however luxurious they may be, China's currency. But, more than yes and smiles--have been vantage of the full, I seitle down on they are destructive of much that, China will be compelled to planted by the hundreds of the verandah. that is best in human nature. Invite the co-operation of Japanese millions that have come and gone The rooms are almost invariably troops in meeting the Communist with the passing of untold for forty winks, when

menuce, especially In Shansi, so

generations. Seeds that still small, many are without picture rumour has it. If Japan is anxious

bear wonderful flowers. to protect rails, and as the walls are mostly to assist in measures

China, surely one of the first steps made of cement, pictures cunnot should be to put an end to amul be hung. Consequently, it is ing by her own nationals who are argued, people are deprived of undermining the China. marketa the opportunity of developing aand robbing the Nanking Govern love of visual beauty in the form ment of a large portion of its of plotures, and art is the loser. legitimate income. But of even more importance is the fact that residents of flats. have no gardens and few are able really large-scale development to accommodate dogs and other has taken place in this direction. pets. Life, it is contended, is On the other hand, new blocks all the poorer because of these of flats are constantly springing deprivations. Lady Oxford has into existence. One of the rea- entered the fray, and has per sons why more detached houses Linently asked: "Must we all are not built is to be found in causes: many more live in blocks of flats, to be economic

be

conducted by the liftman to see flats than bungalows can

And I

Fence restored, the radios start again, with the addition of the Jazz was whisked out with a cheery piano. Then the second bugle blows "good-bye" and a promise that a forth, but I'm prepared for It

BULLS AND INNERS

From the Office Butts

In giving a highly technical re-| A bright young thing who at

I

A fancy-dress ball in

to leave. Down

Auffering

from

For the benefit of a misguided management, I would like to say that I know all about the different beers In the Colony. About boot-polish "I am not so well versed, but I suppose the amah gets that where she can get the most squeeze, I have a

the

advertised Frigidaire, and I smoke brands and I do not suffer from hay

fever,

and I can read all about those vommodities from one end of Nathan Road to the other, without having them included in my humble forty cents worth. I went to sleep during the second picture, so I don't know what it was about. It must have been fairly quiet.

So home again. this time emulating, King Agag on the pavements. The dog parade was in full swing. Big men and small dogs, and little women and big dogs, they were all there.

But all is not quiet yet, by no mean. There's a singing bloke near by, of the Toscani Verdi xchool. The poor anh must think we like it. Now someone is saying good-night to their host on the staircase. Sounds

cartload

being of bricks like a

punctuated by howls for emptiti, spitality. What crimes.

are committed in thy name!

I have come to the conclusion that us the ablding place of a collection of inconsiderate fazz-mad, dog-owning,› stair-clattering, nolay nitwits, Kow- loon is unique.

our homes and our children?" built over a given area, thereby port of what is found in local sen- tended She adds: "I would prefer to yielding greater return on capi water, the President of the Urban London, dressed in goose feathers,

and, out! live in the cheapest garage and tal outlay. Flats have their Council certainly said a mouth-was requested

I am attractions for bachelors andful. ·.. have a home of my own.

MacWhirter intends to try out alarmed at the ugliness, the married couples without fami-

more modern People might think that mining his gas mask the next time he materialism and the lack of villes--and the sion which is overtaking my types to be seen in the Colony is new in Hongkong. We've had visits the Central Market,

E 口 are certainly a big improvement countrymen." If there are

some of the older blocks, our gold-Wiggers for years!

Only six persons are permitted good grounds for resenting the on

Reservoir was to stand in local buses. But some If Shing Mun growth of the flat system at But it cannot be gainsaid that Home, there are infinitely more there is room for many more

It isn't gas masks we want here, reasons for objection thereto in houses of the small bungalow full, we'd have plenty of water if how these six all contrive to tread

it is gags. Radio sota should be a Colony such as Hongkong. type, providing amenities for we had some rain]

which

sealed, like Rolls-Royce engines at a be cannot Our climate demands the families

power, Inaudible at more than fifty Judging by the giggles we heard

some- that a pension was a boarding fent away. Owners of pavement maximum of air-space, to any enjoyed in blocks of flats.

This seems to be defiling dogs should be arrested, and nothing of other amenities Schemes based on this consi- last week, there must be

aze deserving of thing awfully funny about moon-establishment.

to make the punishment fit the crime,. about right. which many flats do not provide. deration

should be made to clean the streets. D Various attempts have been the utmost support, since the light bathing.

Now I am going to have a drink, two drinks, and go to bed, and I made from time to time to pro- provision of more residences of

Tap dancing is said to be more A Hongkong policeman who re-

health in nummer only hope, the Infant opposite won't vide bungalow types in areas this kind would undoubtedly

I get to sleep. Jaid out along the lines of gar- result in an improvement in the tired on grounds of health in 1884, essential to den cities, each building stand general health of the com- atill drawing his breath-and than in winter. But not for the start howling for his, bottle before

people in the flat below. HONGKONG ing in its own grounds, but no,

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ᄆ

3

on our pet corn.

口 ᄆ

Auntie Cyclone always thought

ᄆ

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