1935-04-29 — Page 15

THE HONGKONG

TELEGRAPH. MONDAY, APRIL 29, 1935.

CURSE OF YOUTH ---AND AGE

MENACE OF COCKTAIL. PARTIES

BY GILBERT FRANKAU

For the due preservation of such good mannera us remain to MẸ, und more cnperinkly with a ci cw to avoiding any personal un- pleasantness, Iilah to state that none of these remarks should be taken as applying either

(a) to any encktail party which I myself may give or may have given, or,

(b) to any similar entertainment given or about to be given by any of my own friends and/or acquaintances-whether accepted or refused. (7-}`-

Subject to the exceptions referred to in my foreword, I maintain that Parliament should immediately declare all cocktail parties (sail term also to include sherry parties) illegal. For that such parties are rapidly be- coming the main curse of modern existence only a de- butante or a dotard can deny.

Let us consider the cocktail ander sherry party scientifically. Let us ask ourselves, first, exactly what such a party is; secondly, exactly what purpose it serves; and, thirdly, most importantly, what will be the ultimate effect on English -civilisation if this menace to our tran- quillity is not dealt with in time?

First, then, cocktail andfor sherry parties can be scientifically classified into three grades: Grade A.. the Big (or purely publicity) Do; Grade B, the Medium (or "such a lot of people have invited us to their parties that we must do something about it, darling") Do; and Grade C (the Small or apparently insignificant) Do.

can

Of these, for the struggler after over, to attend this lust class of Da;

business transactions social eminence. It may be stated where that the Blg Do demands your often be Inaugurated and this, formal acceptance but not neces- very occasionally, from a sofa or sarily your corporeal attendance-chair.

it being heavy odds against either

EXPENSE.

Here are pictures of Shanghai's Hongkaw Market area where Mr. Nathaniel G. MacDonald, Bri- tish engineer, was killed by a stray bullatima police chased an armed robber down Boone Road and Into the crowded market. At left is a view of wall and the back entrance to the Hongkow Police Sta- tion, whèrn Mr. MacDonald collapsed with à bullet through the heart. Through this entrancs, upon hasring the whistles and shooting, polica tan oui to answer the alarm. At right is a view of the market, at the extreme left of which the armed' robber was brought down. Mr. and Mrs. MacDonald -nasied at iba corner of Wantung and Brose Roads, the to do her_daily_shopping.

At the Big Do, it seems hardly your host or hostess notieing necessary to mention, there is whether you actually turn up or never even a chair. The longer the not. Whereas the Medium Do, more people stand at such a Do once recepted, should be attended, the greater the success of the ระ it is just conceivable that your doings. And at auch parties, be it absence may be spotted-though a refusal to attend this type of Do further remarked, all introductions

are made inaudibly-if at all, will be even more gratifying to

It is cuntomary, by the way, to your host and hostess, who will have thus satisfied any obligation greet one's host or hotes at a Big they may feel towards you at non. But this need only be done on arrival. Once told "How nice of

not even the subsidiary purpose laudable to pay off social obliga- of us who are not addlets will be you to come: I'm sure you'll find N.B.-In order to ensure mazilots of people you know in the next only the prime necessity of the tions, is it equally laudable to pile so replete with the olives, with tho mum pratification, send such re-

you are at liberty to circocktail party-giver. Since how up the social debt?

shrimps, with the prawns, with the fusala early when the Do is to

otherwise can he or she break up take place at an hotel, where the cuinte, in as far as circulation

The giving of one such jollifien- caviare, with the sandwiches and possible.

those chilly throngs of weak, dumb charge is usually arranged per head in advance.

women and strong, silent men into tion as I have attempted to des- the hot Frankfurters, which are the gay little chattering bunches, and cribe incites, encourages, nay, al inevitable concomitants of the thus dispose of twenty-five, fifty, most makes compulsory the giving cocktail, that we shall be unable or even two hundred of twenty-five, fifty, a hundred, or to face even the prandial kipper, far a hundred

one well even two hundred similar jollifica-less the mutton broth, the boiled! social obligations at

tions. So that, seientifically speak-cod, the roast mutton, and the swoop?

ing, the total social indebtedness is savoury of the good old days. Inever decreased.

The approaching Royal receptions at Buckingham Palace will be very solama during King George's Silver Jubileo, and the young ladies who make their debut at Court are energetically exercising to learn the

correct procedure.

The last class of follittention we are considering, the small Do, is never given at an hotel. Almoat Invariably It is heralded by a per- sonal letter, which begins. "Dear So-and-So--We are taking just a few of our most intimate friends to drop in here next Friday after ROOD. Itefusal, therefore, presenta an intricate social problem, except to those who are modern enough to -leave-ali-invitations- unanswered; whether they latend honouring the function with their presence or Bol.

SOMETIMES PROFITABLE It is Frequently profitable, more-

|

Whereas at a medium Do it is definitely de rigueur to signify both one's coming and one's going.

WHAT'S ITS USE? Which brings me to the second part of my thesis: What purpose does the cocktail party serve?

And here let me state, most em- phatically, that the main purpose of the cocktali party is not the consumption of strong drink. The careful host, indeed, always in

·EVERSEK the percentage of fruit juice and decreases the percentage- of alcohol according to a carefully eulculated ratio with each succeed. ing cocktall consumed.

The imbibing of strong drink is

For that the wholesale paying off of social obligations at the cheapest rate, is the basle purpose of the cocktail party is another scientific truth that only a debutante or dotard could deny.

Even on this second ground, how. ever, I should not feel justified in demanding the total abolition of the cocktail party. 1 is on the third and most vital part of my thesis that I depend.

Because even if we admit, as we are bound to admit, that it is

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BY

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I

curso be dealt with, and dealt with of England's dinner, or England's immediately, the time must come when every afternoon is a cocktail supper, and even of England's high Citizens, can you face this that time tea. afternoon; and when

English civilisation comes,

will ghastly prospect with equanimity?, perish for, the simple reason. that

If you would will be a meal of the past.

not have your. Tel. 20135. its greatest achievement-dinner-

children and your children's children Already, the cocktail-party addlet go supperless to bed every night, is learning to dispense with his or my friends, write to your M.P. at her evening meal. Soon even those once!

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H.M.5. Australia; after visiting Australia, And:hinibridą. Princéis: Marina, who warn Zwadding.« Photo akowi,÷Laft to"right: the Spänd the Duke of Kent, at "Sunset Lodge,"

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