1935-02-26 — Page 6

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con-

TELEGRAPH. TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 26. 1935.

NOTES OF THE DAY IN A WILTSHIRE VILLAGE

COST OF LIVING

A visitor to Hongkong recently romarked that, so far as he could Judge, the hotel rates in the Colony- were as reasonable as in any of the larger cities In the world, but that the ordinary cost of living for "the man in the fat was something considerably more than it ought to be. The better flats in Hongkong. he pointed out, were anywhere from

$150 to $200 per month and up, unfurnished. And, with the dollar climbing every day, so does our rent go that much higher if wo are living on an income based on sterling or American dollars" he said. In respect to food and clothing he had the same complaint. "Women's clathes In Hongkong are priced ridiculously," he believed. A garment which would cost two or three dollars, in an American departmental store sells in Hong- kong for not once or twice, but sometimes ten times that price, reckoned in American currency," He gave a good many more In- stances and his figures wore Im- presalve.

C

•

This gem of Imperishablo Eng- pseudo-timbered: cottages, pre-: lish literatura. has nothing to do sided over by a homogeneous com- with a Wiltshire'village. «Nor has|munity of ladies inspired with a it any reference even to Wessex single lea. They have no ro the incomparable province over ligion, no politica, no taste for art, which this journal wields its no byes for Naturo, no views about political, and moral ecoptro. In literature, and apparently, no gift deed, my only excuse for writing for cooking. If they possera hus- under this time-honoured headline bands they rarely mention them; is that I desire to give you the glad if they have children they hide tidings of my return to this them. Their one consuming pase- village after an absence of three lon is Contract Bridge. If by months.

chance you gain admission Into I am once more in your midst, one of these pagan temples the and I can imagine the plaudits of priostess in charge will not ask sixty thousand discerning readers you whether you like Sussex or how your husband is. She will rending the welkin from the. New ask you a simple and straight- Forest to the Mendip Hills. In forward question: "Do you play fact, there are moments when Contract?" You may be foarluse can imagine almost anything, and foolish enough to answer I needed a change of air, but "No," in which case you will finish being unwilling, at my age, to your ton in gloomy silence and vid change my mode of life, I merely farewell to the interior of that went out of Wessex into Sussex. house for over. These women are I hoped to feel at home there. I like galloy elaves, linked to- expected to and South Saxons do gothor by the iron chain of their ing much the same things as West own bridge engagements which the whole year. Saxons. I thought the wholean compasses place would be teeming with They form themselves into a Saxons talking about potatoes and ruthless combino and approach drinking beer. But I was mis- cach wavering newcomer to the takon. As far as I could see there district with: "Bat, my dear, if is not a single Saxon left in the you don't play Contract you will whole of Sussex. At Chichester I and yourself left out of every- saw an early English cathedral thing." Gentle, and charming surrounded by a Roman wall. At blackmailers. 'Arundel I discovered

a Norman castle. thronged with Americans. Brighton seemed to bo delivered of

BAD BUSINESS

He was not complaining, he pointed out. because of any spite- ful desire to damage some Hong- kong tradesman, but because, in the long run, the business policy of many firms would work a hard- ahip on the whole of the Colony. Already Hongkong had the reputa tion of being an expensive sort place, and not at all the resort for a man of moderate means to select for a holiday-ground. Travellera were commencing to realise that they could buy more cheaply In Japan, Shanghai or Manila, and were passing by the Hongkong tradesman's door with no more than a glance. There wore excap- tions, of course, he admitted. Some stores offered a special line of goods of a character which would not allow of "bargain" prices. But taking it all in all, it was time something was done in the Colony to remove the impres- slon that it was the most expeñalvo place in the Far East in which to live. We are Inclined to agree of the complaints

MANCHURIA HORROR

+

As I walked homeward neroas

"Surely you must be a Saxon," I ventured.

"No I baint," he replied, "I be a the downs I stopped at intervals Liberal, allus hev bin, an' allus and endeavoured to kick myself, shall."!! Dolt that I am! I now realise that

I'stood him a pint of beer, and I have let a golden opportunity slip. I have, in fact, completely the mists began to lift from the dia missed the bus, for when the tant landscape of his memory. He Editor of this very journal has, told us that he had begun work on one or two occasions, seen fit ninety years ago, minding sheep on to suppress some masterpiece of the Sussex downs for fourpence a mine as being a trifle foul I have week, and how he had risen to be entirely falled to realise that I head shepherd at the princely had come within measurable dis-salary of nine shillings a week. tance of the summit of literary

"Ai've worked hard all my life," fame. On these occasiona I have he said, "an' brung up sixteen

the returned manu- children." simply torn script into a thousand fragments and jumped on it. And then I have gone out to the village inn and drowned my, mortification In beer,

One evening I was smoking a into the hand of Israel. In the pipe with another rather un- seclusion of the more fashionable Important busband when the lady hotels I found several film stars of the house returned from one fleeing from their adoring public, of these orgies having lost nine and I was privileged to observe shillings. "I have told them," she them in the act of drinking cock declared with flashing eyes, 'that I tails incognito. On the benches of will not play bridge during August Sussex I saw a number of Pharl-while the children are at home." sees cooking their naked bodies by The unimportant husband sald way of relaxation from the moro "Hear, hear, my dear." What he TUESDAY, FEN. 26, 1935.

intellectual pastime of cooking may have thought is another matter. company reports; and in the And I must confess that I, too, was villages among the downs I found touched. I went away and, in my HOME POLITICS.

certain scribes, for the most part mind, painted a picture. I fashion- engaged on sex novels.

ed it after Romney's Circe because Again and again since the

the lady in question possessed the National Government was form-

I I was permitted to linger in the same tragic beauty as imagine ed, Mr. Baldwin has fought

presence of one of these lady was Lady Hamilton's after Nelson. noveliste. She told me that she had died, when England had cruelly opposition within the ranks of

was writing a new novel, to be deserted her, and when Romney's the Conservative Party, having with some

We are in- of this visitor.

called "As Yet Unborn." Hoping eyes had grown dim. I draped hor on each occasion emerged trium-

that she had not seen me wince, in flowing white with a single jewel phant, his leadership confirmed.clined to agree that tourist busi-

neas, which so many persons con- I enquired when I might see the at her breast. Little children clung The portenta, however, are that sidor vital to the welfare of the bookatalla ablaze with her new appealingly to her robe. I filled the book, to which she made the background with shadowy bridge he may not be able to resist the Colony, will only come when we continued pressure from many have something attractively priced staggering reply: "Never, I trust. demons and spurned beneath her

I am hoping it will be banned."

sandalled feet, I painted a grand quarters which would make his to offer. And, at the same time,

slam in no trumps. I can sco it fendership contingent on the we could suggest a good few in-

I was so overcome with reverent now. It is a beautiful picture. break-up of the present coali-stances where the price of service

amazement that I could think of and commoditica might very well

South Saxons. tion administration and a

But I found no be reduced to the ordinary realdent

nothing to say. “My dear good sequent reversion to party consumer of Hongkong.

man," she continued, "you are There was an occasion when I politics. Mr. Winston Chur-

completely out of date. Don't you thought I had discovered the last know that it is now the sole am-survivor of that lost race. I found chill, who, though holding no ministerial post, still carries R

bition of modern authors, worthy him in a village inn. He was very Startling revelations have

of their art, to have their books old. He told us he was ninety-six good deal of weight, is dead set

been made by Dame Rachel

banned? It is the now hallmark last "tater diggin"," against Mr. Ramsay Mac-

Crowdy, who was formerly in

of genius.' Donald's continuance as head of charge of the League's social the Government, whilst Mr. activities and who has just re- Randolph Churchill, who would turned from a visit to Manchuria. appear to have inherited his | Dame Rachel, who describes condi- father's penchant for creating--tions-as-far worse-than-she-had trouble within the party ranks, imagined, declares that on a con- intends launching a Conserva-servative estimate two-thirds of tive Union, the object of which this White Russian population are BEEEEESEE will be to re-assert Conservative living on the verge of starvation.

There is practically no alternative ! FEUERBESSEE principles. It is certainly an

but prostitution for the girls, and anomaly that a Government little girls of cleven or twelve are which is overwhelmingly Con- forced by starvation to haunt low servative in complexion" should dance halls. About seven or retain a Labourite at its head-eight people are found frozen to that is, if Mr. MacDonald can death in the streets of Harbin to-day be regarded as a Labour- every night during sovere weather ite. He is certainly disowned by whilst dope tramckers apparently sell their wares to starving the official Labour Party, and children and small boys are to be his views in the course of the seen leaning against walle in the past few years have smacked bitter froat who have been doped more of Conservatism than of with heroin cigarettes. With such the traditional Labour outlook. big refugee problems waiting to be When the position is analysed, solved, there acoma little chance there does seem ground for the that the League's work on behalf view that the National Govern- of refugees will be brought to an ment, as such, has served the

end for some considerable time to main purpose for which it was created. It is true that con- ditions are still far from normal, but so they are likely to remain American bankers have revived for an indefinite period. In the the subject of War debts, but this time in a fashion which cannot ba circumstances, there is much to called offensive. The suggestion be said for those who contend from New York, said to have ori- that political forces in the Oldginated on Wall Street and to be Country should be permitted to known to a number of British re-align themselves on a party financial people, is simply that the basis. In that event, the Con the capital of Britain's indebted- United States should credit against servatives would appear to have a far better chance of winning made. The idea behind this mode neas all interest payments so far the next election than they of settlement is to bridge the way would under conditions seeking to an Anglo-American accord which to preserve the National Gov- would make possible a more speedy ernment. One thing is obvious, return to normal commercial con- namely, that if there are to be tacts across the Atlantic, Ultimate- National Conservative and In-y, other European

nations

would dependent Conservative candid-be given an opportunity of sotile- ment with America. But the ates pitted one against the other dollar-sterling affair must first be nt the next election, the con- settled, in the American view, It sequence may easily be a run- is certain that this debt dondlock away victory for the Labourites, has been responsible, in some with the Wavertree experience measure, for the uncertainty of repcated on a nation-wide scale. promise would be a welcome thing. economic conditions and a com. It therefore remains for the We will await. with interest ampli- oficial leaders of the Party to fleation of the American suggestion weigh up the situation with this and the reaction from Great thought in mind. Mr. Baldwin, Fritain..... in recent utterances, has sug gested that the coming fight will bo between the National Govern ment and the Labourites. But If the recalcitrants within his party have their way, the strug

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there is prospect of a serious split on these two alternatives. And if the rival views are not adjusted, the consequences may

gle will be Conservatives well be disastrous for the. Con- Labourites. At the moment, servatives as a party.

"Sizteen!" I repeated, awestruck. "Ay" he said meditatively, "two eights."

I thought of my own pigeon pair Sussex is plentifully sprinkled and modestly withdraw from the with blatant red brick villas and

(Continued on Page 5.).

"For years he couldn't relax with company around."

The Very Idea!

THAT SPLIT INFINITIVE!

By Horatio Bogg, Sinner

As one of the intelligentsia of Hongkong, this question of re- fined English has moved us to the very seat of our pants. A

Here we have been priding our aolf all along on our ability to rendor English in the way she is spoke and writ at Oxford. A purist in the practice of Art in all its forms, wo had congratulated ourself as a child of literature on being quite unapolled.

Como this, bombshell the other day when a padre complained that, where we should have been more religious in our use, or falsuse, of that precious gift from God-that--- is English, we had sinned, · and sinned deeply.

Our excuse is that if we had sinned, we had sinned with a good and numerous congregation,

But for all this attempt to square ourself with our conscienco (If we possess such a thing) we cannot help feeling that the good padre was right. We feel that, as a shepherd leading his flock of guileless sheep through the pitfalls of this column, we ought to have been more careful,

Our grandparents, when they consigued us for the first time to the care of a tutor, bad told him they wore giving us to him as a precious trust, for him to mould our young impressionable minds, and lisping tongues, in such a fashion that, thereafter, we should be a joy to them to hear and be hold in the home.

And, what has he, or we done to Justify thin pathetic trust? Nothing but to transgress the King's English! We are a con- aclencoless mummer of journalcsel veritable hog for assimilating vulgar Americaniemel

This is indeed a very serious charge, for which we feel ourself anawerable to our many readers.

They: Oh yeah?

We: I'm telling you.

The necessity of the moment suggested here is not for anving souls, but for purging speech of profanity.

We have already made a start with Edward Kelly, a notorious delinquent, but sad to say, he is quite incorrigible,

"H-hi-ht—cup," was all he could manage to say when told his speech lacked the resonanco and polish of good English.

But that la the worst of trying to fight a "dragon" as the padro puts it, "of bad English."

Kelly, who is a red monster, comes back with the accusation that we had been splitting hairs, whereas all ho had been doing was to occasionally split an infinitive

or two,

"Huh, there you are also aplit- ting your Infinitive," he now_says, triumph in his voice.

+

We: But the Editor will allow me to make a correction if it is not too late.

no

Kelly: Makes difference with me. After all, what is n split infinitive or two between friends?

Prophet Without Honour I've decided, in future, to lunch

upon hay;

+

find that it's more economical; I said to my typist, Miss Tappit,

to-day.

"I've decided in future to lunch

upon hay."

She looked at her nails in her

dull, stupid way,

And said: "Recly! Now isn't that

comical?

"You've decided, in future, to

lunch upon hay

"You fod that it's more econo-

mical."

•

He Will Get Time Some Day

Mr. Phil Duschnes,

08, Greene Street,

New York, NY,

Dear Sir:

Enclosed find check for SIB. I

am sorry that I did not have time

to make the check any larger.

Your truly yours. Harry G..:

Cut This Out

The new bronze Mercuries are halicas, the sculptor considering that the conventional headgear im-. posed on Mercury by the classical sculptor too closely resembles the tis hat worn in the War."-News itent.

Thus nullifying the whole symbol- ism of the Ancients, who very proper- ly made Morcury, patron of thieves. and politicians, wear a bowler hat. Not a tin_hat, a bowler hat; the emblem of Progress,

The bowler hat, as I have pointed out before, has certain magicni pro- perties. It is supposed to make de- tectives (who wear it day and night), Invisible. It expels frivolity, wards of hilarity, ensures sobriety, encour- ages Intrepidity, dispels timidity, inspires rigidity, and--torn slowly into strips, stooped in-forn-seed 'oll! ander a new moon, and eaten with the proper. Incantations—is a sovereign, remedy, for the Hoekogrolkie, Derbyshire Wambica.