1935-02-06 — Page 18

1.

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"THE GAY DIVORCEE”

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24714 "Don't Let It Buther You" B-8023 "Night and Day"

"Fats" Waller & His Orch, Comedy Harmonists.

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WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1935.

ART OF BARBED RETORT

NOTES OF THE DAY

MENACE REMOVED

By "AN OLD STAGER" INTELLECTUAL exercises that jeynical affirmativo, "Yes," Stand appeal to everyone are few. aside out of my sunabinet Evan That is probably, why contract when Alexander made the retort bridge and shove-halfpenny were courteous, and declared, if he were invented. But one kind of mental not Alexander, he would choose to gymnastics that does undoubtedly be Diogenes, the surly old philo appeal to humanity at large is the sophor was not to be placated, bright, spontaneous flash of im- "Wero I not Diogenes," he answer- promptu wit. Through the ages all ed, "I would choose to be be

This riposto again has been bor- shades and conditions of mankind have delighted with barbaric zest rowed by a generation many cen- in the instantaneous killing riposte, turies later, and put into the mouth and chortled mercilessly over the of a churlish English General of utter discomfituro of the unhappy the Waterloo vintage, who made use of it in reply to a polite French victim of the swift shaft.

officer's remark at dluner, "If I

The Very Idea!

A $100,000 PAINTING

By Horatio (Long-Haired)

Bogg

It is a mere detail in our versatile make-up that we should be also an artist.

"Ware wo hung?" we were ask- od when we went to the Chinese Artists' Exhibition in the city the other day.

"Depends," we parried, not euro of the meaning.

That's "Have we painted?" better, but a superfluous question when it is considered that on

With the reports from, Russia that her energy of the past few years has been directed towards building a fighting force second to -nose in all the world, and with word of hostilities in and around Charhar and Manchuria, we had commenced to feel that the hope for continued peace in the East was worth little more than a chopped dollar. Perhaps the Anglo-French understanding has no direct bearing upon Far Eastern conditions; but that it cannot fail to have a dis- couraging effect upon any belli gorent who plans a sudden attack upon some unsuspecting or unpre- pared neighbour, must be admitted. An understanding of the sort born of the union of British and French

No doubt erudite paycho-analysts intelligence, will remove the worst

to be an Englishman."

painted this town a rich ród hue. enemy of peace in Europe; the feet may seek new and exotic labels for: were not a Frenchman, I would like more than one occasion we have.

But it has to be confessed that,

when Superfluous also this primitive Instinct, but it is ness. With collaboration in defence really nothing more than the oldžin respect of the mot juate, our appearance has been taken in. caveman sadist streak. The cave French neighbours are almost in- We have those long nails, that. a certainty, no power, however bel-

man succinctly clubbed his bete licone, will tempt the forces a West-re over the head with a handy comparable. Renan, the brilliant long hair, and that hungry look ern European union might let loose, bit of timber. Sophisticated Christ, was at a soirea where con-

Jew, who wrote classic life of stamping the true artist.

On this occasion the look dair And with peace assured in Europe hero is more hope of harmony ela derns, if they have the gift, slayversation took an anti-Semitic turn. ly shrieked "STARVATION" and At To his neighbour, a crook-backed made oven the other hungry-look- where. Relief will be the immediate him with a barbed opigram.

the moment of actual impact, and literary celebrity of the day, Renna ing artista eyo us with suspicion effect of a completed understand- ing: a lessening of tension will follow, and the way will be opened again to the goal of all pacific powers; world disarmament.

ing of inaccurity and apprehensive

•

П

our

thank all friends, especially the auch problem, of minor importance laurente like Tennyson could rejoice | In Greece, some young brit, desiring stick to our Anger, and when we

The

Hongkong Telegraph.

WEDNESDAY, FED. 6, 1935.

EUROPEAN PEACE HOPES

of

le discharged In large quantities from some categories of ships, and has the most unpleasant effects in various directions. When washed up on beaches, it destroys their amenities; it is very harmful to some kinds of fishes which awim near the surface; and, above all, it is most destructive to sea birds.

The unfortunate creatures get their wings clogged by the oil, are unable to move, and slowly starve to death.

NEW REGULATIONS

to man.

A

And

+

•

given circumstances, the observed how the talk ambarrassed and disdain. civilised method may strike the vic him. "I must inform you, Mon- tim as the more ruthless and male-slour," said he, "that I am a Jew."

When we put a questing inger volent of the two.

on an ancient pine tree, the sort To which the other made the bril-that goes into almost every Chin- There is a famous ballad which liant riposte, "Confidence for con ese landscape painting, they were tells us how each man kills thefidence, Monsieur, I am a hunch-not sure of our intentions and thing he loves, the strong man with back!"

.. asked us to desist for fear (80 UNWANTED OIL

a aword. but the coward with a

they said) of the colour being When it comes to nettling

rubbed off. After the rumours and alarms word.

Even the most sophisticated of

Now, how did they know we which assail it from the Saar,up with beten noiren, and not mere- Hungary. Abyssinin and other unly with those for whom they have modern ripostes, however, sound no had laid a deep conspiracy to restful quarters of the globe, it affection, people in these days usual more modern than some of hoary steal the painting, in default of must be a profound relief to the ly take the coward's weapons, and antiquity. The wit of the ancients that the pine-tree, and in default Council of the League of Nations the coward's weapons are almost was every bit as intimate and per-again of that, the paint off the

When Dionysius, painting? a gentle poet the Sicilian tyrant, was a prisoner Mrs. A. J. Allison wishes to sincerely to turn its collective mind now and always more cruel than the strong, sonal as our own.

Some of the paint managed to again to smaller questions. One silent man's. Even Doctor, Mutron and Sisters

in this form of man's inhumanity to score at his expense, for the rabbed that finger reflectively Matilda Hospital, for their kind- but nevertheless deserving of in-

tyrant was socially lonised in exile, against our nose, they were not neas to herself and husband dur-terest and support, is occupying it

let fall the folds of his mantle on then even sure this was not also a ing his recent illness, also for at its present session. This is the

entering a room where Dionysius deep if paintful way stowing all the beautiful wreaths sent

question of preventing the pollution

The poet collected deadly ripostes ant with a distinguished.company. away stolen goods, Oll wante and attendance at the funeral.

of the aca by oil waste.

Caught red-Angered, we were as some connoisseurs do autographs This was a geature reserved for or stamps. His favourite one was those who approached Royalty, and taken for a ride up the river.

no lethal weapons the well-known retort of the noble- indicated that man to Louis XIV, when that were concealed about the suppllant's

what 2 long riveri monarch, by Royal innuendo, cast person. an injurious aura over the fact that

Dionysius was more than equal to Through yards and yarda of scroll striking personal re- the occasion. He told the joker he which had to be unwound before there was

would prefer he made that gesture, its full course could be explored. semblance between them.

Apparently Lord Tennyson did not on arriving, but on leaving, be- After five minutes of strenuous not realise the real antiquity of cause then they might be quite paddling against the current, we that anecdote. It was current long certain ne spoons or other trinkets arrived, completely exhausted, at the source, and drew our canoe before Cacar conquered Gaul or were missing from the mansion,

A particularly quick retort was out. the Bourbons were hatched, in the

We then discovered an ancient zenith of Greek culture. For all we that of a French corsair who cap-

The temple: also a fat man holding know the ancient Greeks may have tured an English versel. borrowed it from still older Engilsh captain tartly observed, his belly

(Editor's objection: We don't It is possible to prevent the dis

for plunder," say "belly" in the best of circles.) charge, of oll by installing separa-civilisation, just as we have pla-"While we fight for honour, you

These are not very expensive giarised it from the Greeks. This Frenchmen fight

in "True," replied the unabashed. Well then, a fat man holding in themselves, but occupy consider in itself suggests how universal, in

and squatting on the Temple. able buik, and vessels carrying them time and race. is this mortal relish French buccaneer; we both fight his rice-basket with both hands

for the cutting rejoinder, and also for what we have not got." are liable to be penalised in the

Talleyrand was famous for his steps, matter of barbour dues, etc. One how often some of the best ones

He was a novitiate about to be from the very beginning..

ladies, who had a slight squint and therefore, be to arrange for new international

Perhaps regulations on the ton-

happlest was sensitive on the subject, greet bath in the river could not to humanity's whether the methods chosen age measurement of ships which flashes of wit were not quite ined the celebrated Minister with a avoided. Distnate for the ordeil are likely to conduce to the end make suitable allowance for separa, promptu, but belong to that cate- cattleh:-"And how are your legs was all log apparent in his healt

his In between Although it in view.

The question has

making up already gory of Inspired after-thoughts bis morning, Monaicur?" "Ab, tion.

retorted tora.

Talleyrand, been before the League's Transit which our friends across the Chan-madame,"

mind, his beard had grown into atressed in the first communi- and Communications Organisation, nel so nptly term "the wit of the crooked--as you see,"

hig-lap banisters." Things you think of without much result. It was ques on the subject that the but winegin at the Inst Assembly just too late, and as your hand rests agreement between Britain and

by the British Government, which on the banisters whilst descending France, such as it was, was only declared that "There was no reason from the audience chamber. general in character, it now why, maritime countries should any appears that what amounts to longer tolerate the contamination of

their waters, ," and asked the League One of the very earliest recorded defensive aerial, alliance be to settle the question speedily by ripostes, and not one of the least tween the two countries has International

The recondite, is attributed by the care

We offered one dollar sh been evolved. This is

Transit and Communications Com- ful gossip, Plutarch, to Diogenes, other grounds of appeal niso." 80

mittee has made a further study of the brutally realistic philosopher of The politicians have to be quick-down as a first instalment: and specific, in fact, that it is stated the question, and has recommended the tub.

witted at times. "I'd sooner vote had the mortification of its bing that there will be a pooling of to the Council the conclusion of an

When Alexander the Great visited for the devil," shouted a heckler, turned down, international convention the British' and French air Council has but to authorise

The him, he naked Diogenes whether "But," came the prompt response there was any favour he could do from the candidate, "suppose your forces for the purposes of de- Organisation to take the necessary for It was a gracious gesture friend does not stand, sir?"

One historic German mot figured fence in case either country is steps for preparing such

tion. After this has been done, they one of the greatest figures In

the oratory of attacked. But the point made Inter-Governmental Conference will history. But how did the tub philo- prominently in

(Continued, on next column by one of the London journals is be held, and it may be hoped that sopher requite it? By a succinctly worth keeping in mind-namely, an effective remedy will at last

applied to this evil which, although that whilst aggression may small in comparison with some start in the air, it cannot be con- others, is one which need not exist, fined to

element. one

The and which everyone would like to

see removed. vital point then arises 18 to

tora.

In the sense that it envisages an eventual general armaments convention applicable to Europe as a whole, the Anglo-French agreement can be regarded as a distinct step forward in the Raymond Paige & His Orch. efforts to stabilise peace in that .Raymond Paige & His Orch. part of the world. At the same means of solving the problem would may have been sheer inventions subtle mots. One of Napoleon's petitiated, and it looked as if à

time, doubts do arise ав

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24706 "Pop Goen Your Heart"

"Beauty must be loved"

From "Happiness Ahoad"

(Showing at Alhambra Theatre)

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how far either Britain or France would be committed were a indúce her return. At the mo-

Germany, whilst | major flare-up to occur. Alliances ment,

us between two countries might parently sympathetic to the conceivably be of benefit to both, idea of a mutual assistance pact, is cautious about committing but, on general principles, they herself in advance. There are are bad, if only for the reason many difficulties still to be over- that they invite counter-come before the plans outlined alliances. It is, however, some-can come to fruition. But it is thing to the good that in this at any rate gratifying to note case, there is no suggestion that that no attempt is being made to the understanding be confined coerce Germany. No prior con- Britain and France; in-ditions are laid down to qualify the invitation to conversations deed, there is a definite intenon the subject. This is as it tion to bring Italy, Germany and should be; if there are to be Belgium into the pact. But discussions, they should be un- the point which suggests itself hampered by conditions. What is that there is scarcely need over the fate of the new. for the making of this fresh | posals, there does at any rate move, seeing that there already appear a greater disposition exists, in the League of than for many years past, to Nations, all the machinery neces-evolve a workable plan pro- If sary to preserve the peace of mising general security. Europe. All that is required is that atmosphere can

be pre all-round agreement to utilise served, it should not be an in- that machinery, German mom-superable task for the states- barship of the League would, of men of Europe to attain the course, be essential, but, pro- success hoped for. But the vided there is a willingness to League of Nations, if only its concede German equality and members give proof of their so much appears evident from sincerity, would appear to be the Anglo-French, conversations the best-suited medium through

It should not be impossible to which to reach the goalkers

pro

The lawyers have their own col- lection of ripostes exchanged be tween Bench and Bar. "This." said a famous K.C. In opening a case before the Appeal Court, "le an ap peal. against a judgment by Mr. Justice. There are, my Lords,

I can't work by the hour, lady.. I'm so fast that if you pald

me twice as much as my time is worth, I'd still lose money."

We left the "River Retreat" and the novitiate still trying to make up his mind, to turn our attention to the artist with a query,

"One hundred thousand dollars,

and worth every cent of it!" vas the crushing reply.

How did they, know that that dollar represented all our worldly wealth at the moment?

Unmasked, we descended from our position 11.3 a "potential buyor, and admitted we wole in the position only to admire art -frank statement which instintly brought down his stock of us

As between one artist and another, that was shabby teat ment. But before we loft w/ had the satisfaction of saylag to him. he need not have gone to such pains to show us the paining--- we would not have noticed the difference had that sombre pano- rama of rugged rock and pine tree, of a long river that led to the Happy Retroat of a noitiate, about to be immersed in an in- voluntary bath, had been turned upside down.

the Russian revolution. Jarly In August 1914 some German Aplomat observed that "the Englih will fight to the last Russian."

There have been some vry mor- dant retorts. Such as the remark of the famous British, entesman when his valet suggested a black suit on account of the fueral of another great statesman. "James. I approve of the ceremoy, but I am not attending it."

A London Stipendiar, whose butler burst in on him wh a vehe ment, "Sir! Is it yourwish the cook should murder met did not turn his head as he replid quietly,

hadn't expressed it. One can not imagine the frame roind he was in, said someboy to Mr. Kipling of a mutual fried.

That'a Just it," replied the auth of "Plain Tales," "he only has theframe.

A happy flash came from Mr. Stanley Baldwin at a Boemian din- (Continued on Fiz 4)